The Sex Expert (Esther Perel): The Relationship Crisis No One Talks About That's Killing Your Sex Life!

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Jun 12, 2025

Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, shares her insights on the modern relationship crisis. She reveals why men over 30 are having less sex and how childhood trauma can hinder marriages. Perel discusses the importance of authentic connections and how technology affects intimacy. She also shares a unique sex game that could save relationships and identifies a crucial red flag predicting divorce. If you're curious about improving your love life and understanding modern dating, this conversation is a must-listen!

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00:00 / 00:00

Social Atrophy Threatens Connection

Social atrophy means losing our social skills due to lack of practice and overreliance on digital communication.
This decline harms our ability to connect genuinely and affects our relationships deeply.

00:00 / 00:00

Use Real-Life Context for Dating

Don't rely solely on dating apps; engage in real-world activities to meet people.
Create social opportunities by initiating small interactions, like talking to someone at a coffee shop.

00:00 / 00:00

Flirt with Genuine Curiosity

Show genuine interest when messaging on dating apps by referencing the person's life and curiosity.
Avoid lazy, impersonal messages to increase chances of meaningful connection.

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Swipe left, feel empty, and wonder why? Esther Perel reveals the hidden truths behind the dating crisis, loneliness, and the shocking decline in sex and intimacy.

Esther Perel is a world-renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, widely recognised as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. She is the bestselling author of books such as, ‘The State of Affairs’.

She explains:

Why MEN Over 30 Aren’t Having Sex Anymore.
The SEX GAME that could Save Your Relationship.
How CHILDHOOD TRAUMA is Secretly Sabotaging Your Marriage.
Why Investing in AUTHENTIC CONNECTION is the key to a Fulfilling Life.
The ONE RED FLAG that Predicts Divorce.

00:00 Intro

02:29 Esther’s Main Concern About Human Connection

03:22 What’s the Consequence of Losing Social Skills?

04:19 Is Online Dating the Only Choice Nowadays?

07:13 The Value of Rejection

07:52 Rejection from the Apps

08:48 What to Do If Dating Apps Don’t Work for You

11:26 Is Too Much Choice Making Dating Harder?

13:01 How to Cope with Online Dating Burnout

14:30 The Changing Role of Masculinity and Its Impact on Society

15:57 Loneliness Today

17:17 Why Do People Have Less Sex Nowadays?

20:17 Importance of Deep Connection in Relationships

21:51 How Phone Use Affects Connection and Sexual Attraction

28:07 Questions from Steven’s Friends

28:53 Is It Always a Good Idea to Admit to Infidelity?

31:17 Attraction with a Partner

33:36 Is Long-Term Faithfulness in a Relationship Possible?

37:06 Importance of Taking Accountability

39:21 How People Are Energizing Their Relationships

42:59 How to Revive Intimacy When Gone for So Long

44:52 Ads

45:55 Do People Enjoy Sex Less Than Before?

48:15 Do I Have to Work on Myself Before I Can Have a Good Relationship?

49:49 Has the Culture of Self-Love Gone Too Far?

51:19 Are Men Emasculated by the Success of Women?

59:08 What Is Social Confidence?

1:02:56 What Gives a Traumatic Experience Meaning?

1:14:10 Would You Delete Mobile Phones to Help Connection?

1:17:08 Can Social Connection Principles Apply to a Workplace?

1:22:06 How Are You Going to Adapt to a World of AI and Robots?

Follow Esther:

Instagram - https://bit.ly/4l2Et6S

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You can purchase Esther’s new 100 question game, ‘Where Should We Begin? At Work’, here: https://bit.ly/4kF0F7h

You can purchase Esther’s book ‘The State of Affairs’, here: https://amzn.to/4l0KaSv

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