Episode 175: How to Use Surrounding Togetherness Pressure in Healthy Ways
May 16, 2022
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Explore the concept of surrounding togetherness pressure and its impact on behaviors and attitudes. Learn about the positive and negative effects of peer pressure and how leaders can harness its power. Discover how to create healthy behavior and change in anxious systems.
Our perception of other people's behavior greatly impacts our own actions, even if our perceptions are inaccurate or manipulated.
Leaders can use positive surrounding togetherness pressure to create a healthier system by promoting self-definition and encouraging others to voice their opinions.
Deep dives
Context Matters and Influences Behavior
The podcast episode discusses the influence of context on our behavior, emphasizing that it is one of the biggest factors shaping who we are. The speaker provides examples from an article by Eric Barker, such as how someone may be punctual at work but consistently late when meeting friends. Research shows that our perception of other people's behavior greatly impacts our own actions. For instance, college students' drinking habits were more influenced by their belief in their peers' drinking frequency rather than the actual frequency. This research indicates that what we believe others think and do heavily influences our own thoughts and actions, even if our perceptions are inaccurate or manipulated.
The Impact of Surrounding Togetherness Pressure
Surrounding togetherness pressure refers to the subconscious desire to fit in and is influenced by emotional connection. Traditional cultures prioritize emotional connection, which can create stability but leave little room for individual self-definition. The speaker highlights the importance of balancing emotional connection and self-definition, particularly for leaders. Positive surrounding togetherness pressure can be used constructively to create a healthier system where people feel comfortable expressing themselves while maintaining emotional connection. The speaker advises leaders to lead through self-differentiation, allowing others to voice their opinions without judgment, and creating an environment where speaking one's mind is encouraged and respected.
Creating Positive Surrounding Togetherness Pressure as a Leader
The podcast episode explores practical strategies for leaders to use surrounding togetherness pressure positively. The speaker advises leaders to lead by example through self-differentiated, non-anxious behavior. This includes expressing personal beliefs, encouraging others to speak their minds, and regulating reactivity when faced with disagreement. Furthermore, the podcast suggests avoiding criticizing others behind their backs and refraining from confessing other people's wrongdoings. By modeling healthy behavior, leaders empower others to behave similarly, creating a contagious effect. It is highlighted that in anxious systems, leaders who maintain a non-anxious presence and promote self-definition can bring about positive change, even when others try to keep the system stuck.
Nobody lives in a vacuum. Surrounding togetherness pressure influences people in both negative and positive ways. Here's how you, as a leader, can use it to make things better.