Terri Cole on How to Break the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency
Oct 14, 2024
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Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, shares insights from her new book, *Too Much*. She discusses how to recognize and break free from high-functioning codependency patterns. Listeners will learn about the emotional toll of auto-accommodating behaviors and the importance of setting boundaries. Terri emphasizes the journey of self-discovery, encouraging gradual change and authentic communication in relationships. She also touches on embracing vulnerability and the healing power of community support during times of grief.
Terri Cole emphasizes the importance of recognizing high-functioning codependency and how it manifests in over-investment in others' lives.
Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, allowing individuals to articulate their limits and reduce resentment.
Surrendering to love and support from others fosters deeper connections and enhances emotional well-being, reminding us of our need for vulnerability.
Deep dives
Importance of Setting Goals for Manifestation
The episode highlights the significance of setting clear goals for personal manifestation and empowerment. The host discusses an upcoming virtual retreat aimed at helping individuals unlock their inner power and align with abundance. This retreat will explore human design, focusing on how different designs can aid in manifesting a fulfilling life. Engaging with experts in manifestation and self-care is presented as a way to actively pursue personal growth and happiness.
Reflections on Loss and Life's Value
The host shares profound insights gained from attending a friend's funeral just before Yom Kippur, emphasizing the stark reminder of life’s fragility. The experience moved her to reflect on what truly matters and the importance of cherishing each moment. This reflection was deepened by a healing session that revealed how her childhood patterns of over-functioning impacted her authenticity. Acknowledging the exhaustion from trying to please everyone, she emphasizes the need for individuals to live life on their own terms.
Understanding High Functioning Codependency
The discussion introduces the concept of high functioning codependency, detailing how it manifests in over-investment in others’ feelings and outcomes. The guest expert outlines common myths about codependency, explaining that it can occur without being tied to addiction. Instead, it often involves individuals who seem to have it all together but struggle internally with balancing their own needs. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can begin to shift towards more authentic and fulfilling relationships.
The Role of Boundaries in Personal Relationships
Setting boundaries is discussed as a crucial step towards maintaining healthy relationships while reducing feelings of resentment and burnout. The conversation emphasizes recognizing personal limits and the importance of not over-accommodating others. Specific examples illustrate how individuals can struggle against the urge to control situations, often leading to complicated dynamics with friends and family. By learning to articulate boundaries, individuals can foster deeper connections and mutual respect with those around them.
The Value of Presence and Surrender
The episode concludes by emphasizing the power of surrendering to love and support from others, showcasing the beauty of receiving while maintaining personal integrity. The host shares a personal experience of her father's passing, highlighting the intimacy of human connection during vulnerable moments. It stresses that allowing others to support us can enhance emotional depth and well-being. Ultimately, this discussion serves as a reminder that true fulfillment comes from embracing our vulnerabilities and acknowledging our need for connection.
How can you free yourself from unconscious codependent patterns? Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, relationship and empowerment expert, author and podcast host is back to share the most valuable lessons from her new book, Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency. She shares how to stop auto-accommodating and over-giving, how to surrender and allow others to love you, how to slow down and learn from your inner child, and how to take one next right action at a time towards a more authentic and joyful life.