Advice for Anxious Fathers & Their Wives - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 504
Jun 18, 2024
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Relationship experts Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder provide advice for anxious new dads on enjoying parenting, meeting relational needs, seeking therapy, support from male friends, and maintaining intimacy post-pregnancy. They discuss challenges faced by fathers, communication in relationships, and the impact of avoidant behavior on loved ones.
New dads struggle with enjoying parenting due to high stress levels and feelings of inadequacy compared to partners.
Men's childhood trauma and unresolved issues can impact their comfort in parenting, highlighting the need for emotional support.
Understanding different attachment styles can help improve communication and collaboration between partners in parenting.
Deep dives
Challenges of New Parenthood for High-Achieving Men
Parenthood poses significant challenges for high-achieving men in heterosexual relationships, as they often struggle with enjoying parenting, feeling stressed, disoriented, and inadequate compared to their partners who may embrace parenting more readily. These men, accustomed to professional success and a driven lifestyle, find it difficult to navigate the demands of parenting, leading to feelings of disconnect with their partners who may handle parenting better.
Impact of Childhood Trauma on Parenting Struggles
Men's struggles with parenting can be exacerbated by unresolved childhood trauma and issues such as high stress levels, insecurities, and a fear of criticism. Their lack of comfort in dealing with the demands of infants and toddlers can stem from childhood neglect or past family challenges that resurface during parenthood, triggering feelings of inadequacy and highlighting the need for emotional support and personal growth.
Attachment Styles and Parental Challenges
The podcast delves into how different attachment styles influence the dynamics of parental struggles, with avoidant types tending to withdraw under stress, potentially widening the gap between partners, while anxious individuals may express frustration and blame, seeking more connection and support. Understanding these attachment patterns can help individuals navigate their emotional needs and establish better communication and collaboration in parenting.
Navigating Intimacy and Emotional Connection in Parenthood
Parenting brings changes to intimacy and emotional connection in relationships, especially concerning sexual and emotional needs. Men, both primitive and evolved in their approaches, may face challenges in balancing sexual desires with emotional bonding, requiring open communication, empathy, and a shift towards collaborative efforts to maintain a strong connection amid the demands of parenthood.
Promoting Growth and Collaboration in Parenting Relationships
The transformative nature of parenthood offers an opportunity for personal growth, deeper connection, and collaborative efforts in relationships. Rather than attributing relationship strains solely to children, the podcast advocates for self-awareness, reflection, and open communication to foster mutual understanding, promote relational development, and create fulfilling connections amidst the complexities of parenting.
Jayson and Ellen offer advice for anxious new dads. Why do many new dads struggle to enjoy parenting? What happens when men become aware of their relational needs for the first time, and how should they approach meeting those needs? Should new dads consider therapy? What kind of support should new dads seek from their male friends? What about sex? If you're a new parent or know new parents, you won't want to miss this.
Timestamps:
1:23 - When men struggle to enjoy parenting
14:57 - Men becoming conscious of their relational needs