Working Hard with Grace Beverley How to Ask for What You Want (and Actually Get It) Without Feeling Like A Bitch
Oct 27, 2025
Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and author of Boundary Boss, dives into the intricacies of setting healthy boundaries. She breaks down why asking for what you want can feel daunting, especially for women, due to societal conditioning. Cole introduces practical steps to overcome people-pleasing habits and reclaim assertiveness, emphasizing the importance of clearer communication. Listeners will learn how to manage resentments, navigate difficult conversations, and recognize that strong boundaries lead to authentic relationships.
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Assertiveness Faces A Gendered Double Standard
- Female assertiveness is culturally penalised so confidence often reads as rudeness for women.
- This social conditioning causes many to self-abandon and avoid asking for their needs.
Assertiveness Is Clarity, Not Volume
- Assertiveness sits between passivity and aggression as a clarity skill, not volume skill.
- Framing it as clarity reframes social fear and makes it easier to practice.
Edit Your Language To Sound Clearer
- Audit your language and remove micro-apologies like "just" and "sorry" from messages to sound clearer.
- Use I-statements and script requests ahead so you can assert needs without shrinking your authority.
