The importance of fighting in friendships

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The snippet emphasizes the importance of fighting in friendships as it enables individuals to have difficult conversations and not simply suppress their problems. Research shows that addressing problems in friendships leads to deeper intimacy. Conflict in friendships can be seen as an opportunity for growth and understanding, rather than as combat. Approaching conflict with love and using effective communication techniques such as using 'I' statements, perspective taking, and asking for what is needed can help maintain closeness in friendships despite changes or challenges.

It's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendship, argues psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and health. Marisa offers research-based strategies to make new friends and deepen our existing friendships, including helpful concepts like mutuality and the mere-exposure effect. Marisa and Maya also discuss how to stay friends through big life changes, why fighting could make your friendship stronger, and how to break up with a friend with clarity and kindness.

For more on Marisa's work, check out her book, “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends."

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