

Non-Monogamy Help
Lola Phoenix
Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Sep 27, 2024 • 24min
Episode 141 - Making Amends
Everybody messes up in relationships but making amends isn’t always a one sided action. You have to work together to rebuild trust.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Check out Chill Polyamory's new podcast "I Could Never..." on Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Sep 6, 2024 • 32min
Episode 140 - Q&A
Questions for this week's Q&A episode include:
How do I address friends who don't ask about or invite your partner to things? Friends who say they are supportive but only talk about that partner if you bring them up.
How do I find out what I actually feel when my spouse is out with others?
What do you do if you're feeling burnt out by emotional conversations?
My partner is always recommending stuff to me that was recommended to him by a metamour.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Check out Chill Polyamory's new podcast "I Could Never..." on Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Aug 23, 2024 • 28min
Episode 139 - Boundaries vs. Rules
This discussion dives into the critical distinction between boundaries and rules in relationships. Listeners learn how boundaries represent personal behavioral responses, while rules dictate others' actions. The emotional complexities surrounding rejection and trust are thoroughly examined, highlighting the importance of clear communication. Additionally, navigating the challenges of maintaining boundaries amidst broken trust is addressed, with a focus on self-worth and the necessity of professional guidance for healthier connections.

Aug 9, 2024 • 21min
Episode 138 - Conflicting Routines
Trying to work out intentional time together when life circumstances and sleep schedules get in the way without taking it personally can be a challenge.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Check out Chill Polyamory's new podcast "I Could Never..." on Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jul 26, 2024 • 21min
Episode 137 - Meta's Fault
Your partner is making decisions about your relationship based off of your metamour’s feelings and resentment is building.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Looking for a great way to connect with a partner? Try the Paired app. Get 25% off and a 7 day free trial by using my Paired link.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jul 12, 2024 • 23min
Episode 136 - Long Distance Sharing
If you don’t want any other partners sharing your bed, is this jealousy or just a reasonable boundary?
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jun 28, 2024 • 21min
Episode 135 - Long Distance Avoidance
You’ve done all the studying but still can’t shake the negative feelings when your partner dates others and you think you may be monogamous by nature.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jun 14, 2024 • 32min
Episode 134 - Polyamory and Trauma
Seeing yourself as “traumatised” may actually be causing yourself more stress and difficulty than if you allowed yourself the permission to feel.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

May 31, 2024 • 26min
Episode 133 - Pressure to Open
Feeling pressured to open a relationship can be a common struggle. The podcast dives into the emotional complexities of transitioning to non-monogamy, emphasizing the critical role of communication. Listeners learn to navigate their feelings while balancing personal desires and partner expectations. The discussion critiques attachment theory, advocating for a flexible approach to relationships. With a focus on personal growth and exploration, this episode encourages embracing emotions and stepping outside comfort zones.

May 17, 2024 • 27min
Episode 132 - Mind Reading
The podcast delves into the importance of open communication in relationships, addressing challenges such as expressing needs and supporting partners through emotional turmoil. It explores the benefits of therapy, emotional processing, and setting boundaries to foster strong connections. The episode emphasizes direct communication to avoid resentment and cultivate healthy relationships.