What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

We’ve all witnessed other people's children behaving as if they were king or queen of the hill.Sometimes it's even our own kids who are behaving abominably at Applebee's.But what exactly makes a kid "spoiled"? Conversely, what’s the opposite of spoiled, and how do we raise those kids?We unpack this loaded term in this week’s episode and talk about how our own experiences have shaped our opinions.In this episode, we discuss:·      The history of the term “spoiled child”·      Why spoiled children act out... and why it's usually in public·      Boundary-seeking behavior and how to address itHere are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:Livia Gershon for JStor Daily: The Spoiled Child is Not a Modern InventionJill Suttie for Greater Good Magazine: Taking on the Myth of the Spoiled ChildPatrick A. Coleman for Fatherly: Americans Fear Raising Spoiled Children and Do It AnywayRodolfo Mendoza-Denton for Greater Good Magazine: How to Pass the Marshmallow TestThe Myth of the Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting by Alfie KohnToo Much of a Good Thing by Dan KindlonPositive Pushing: How to Raise a Happy and Successful Child by Dr. Jim TaylorWe also refer to our interview with kindergarten teacher and standup comedian Mr. D:Fresh Take: Joe "Mr. D" Dombrowski on the Fresh Hells of Teaching During a PandemicSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At some point most kids will deal with a bully. But what happens when the bully is your kid's former friend? A listener wrote in to ask:At what point, if ever, do I attempt to help my eight-year-old kid with a conflict he is having with another boy in our neighborhood? The other boy's a year older and they've known each other since they were toddlers. They don't go to the same school, so they don't spend as much time together recently. But when they play outside they've always seemed to be on good terms. Now they're in a group together at camp, and my son says this boy is telling him things like “You aren't my friend anymore. You've never been my friend. And I hate you.” I realize I'm only getting one side of the story. I've asked what led to this and my son can't or won't tell me. He came home early from camp today because the leader called and said he was crying to leave. When I got him home, my son told me this behavior happened again, and that's what made him want to come home. I'm friendly with the other kid's mom. Do I text her and ask if she knows about some conflict between them? Do I ignore it and let the boys figure it out? I've told my kid just to play with other boys instead of this boy, and to tell a grownup at camp if the behavior becomes too much for him to handle on his own. What else, if anything, should I be doing? Bullying behavior is common in kids of this age, and the kid getting picked on one day might be the kid dishing it out a week later. But a child who's coming home crying needs some additional support. In this episode, Amy suggests how to ask the camp counselors for help, how and when to approach a bully's parent, and how to arm a bullied kid with survival strategies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're talking with Bobbi Rebell, author of the new book Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart.  Bobbi is also the host of the "Money Tips for Financial Grownups" podcast.Money can be a difficult subject to broach with kids for a number of reasons. So how do we break the ice? And what is different about our children's relationship with money in the digital age than ours was when we were kids? There are actually ways to make conversations about money more fun and engaging than rigid and boring. (And no, you don't have to look up influencers or NFTs to be able to talk to your kid about financial topics that will interest them!)In this episode, Bobbi shows us how to: Engage our kids about money without talking down to them Tailor different financial conversations to different ages Use allowances to encourage financial freedom rather than maintain financial control Follow Bobbi on Social Media:https://www.bobbirebell.com/Instagram @bobbirebell1Twitter @bobbirebellSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“God never gives you more than you can handle.” “Look on the bright side.” “It could be worse.” These are platitudes we’ve all heard and we all know are (to say the least) less than helpful.So why do so many of us feel a need to put a good spin on things when disaster strikes, and how do we break out of that habit? We talk about our own experiences with toxic positivity, what we’ve learned from them, and what we’re still working on.In this episode, we discuss:·      How overvaluing positives functions as a survival mechanism·      Why toxic positivity actually makes us less happy·      How to counter toxic positivity and how to stay graceful towards people who offer us outlooks we may not want or needHere are links to some of the articles we discuss in this episode:Brock Bastian and Ashley Humphrey for The Conversation: “How to avoid ‘toxic positivity’ and take the less direct route to happiness”Allyson Chiu for The Washington Post : Time to ditch ‘toxic positivity,’ experts say: ‘It’s okay not to be okay’Elizabeth Bernstein for The Wall Street Journal : Toxic Positivity Is Very Real, and Very AnnoyingLinks to other episodes that mention toxic positivity: Fresh Take: Kate Bowler on the Truths We Need To HearFresh Take: Taylor Harris on Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the UnknownSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Water + soap + wriggly bodies = a giant puddle on the bathroom floor! And that's when the kids LIKE taking baths. What if they absolutely dread it?This this week's question comes from Lauren on our Facebook page:Tips for a 4 year old who legit PANICS about getting his hair washed. How can we make this better? At this point we are washing his hair like once a month because it’s so bad. It seems like he will randomly be somewhat ok with it, but 99% of the time he panic-screams and it’s really sad. I have a dry wash cloth so that he can keep the water out of his face, and I try to have him too his head back so the water won’t get in his face, but he still flips out. My husband thinks that we need to wash his hair MORE frequently - like every other day - so that it doesn’t seem like such an unusual event and will become part of his routine. Thoughts?When you've got a kid who hates bath time it's time to put on your detective hat. What is it about the bath that your kid is reacting to? The smell of the shampoo? Getting water dumped on their head? Being tipped backward?Have conversations with your kid in and out of the tub about what is making bath time hard and then make adjustments (for example, a strong grip on your child's shoulder may ease their fear of tipping backwards) and soon you'll be able to say - bath time? Solved it!Margaret cites this article by Alisha Grogan for yourkidstable.com Here's a Method to Help Kids That Hate Hair Washing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Abby Medcalf is the author of the #1 Amazon best-seller, “Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing,” and the host of the “Relationships Made Easy” Podcast. She talks in this Fresh Take about how competition mindsets damage relationships and what couples can do instead to be successful partners and co-parents.In this episode , Abby explains: What it really means for your partner to 'take something off your plate' Why grading your spouse on a pass/fail basis may not be the best approach How treating your partnership like a business can help marital communication Here are some of the resources from Abby's website that she mentions in this episode:One big reason why keeping score sets you both up to lose in the relationship 4 ways keeping score in your relationship is setting you up to loseHow competition stops you from listening and forming connection Follow Abby on social media: https://abbymedcalf.com/IG: @abbymedcalfthrivingFB: @abbymedcalfTwitter: @AbbyThriving#relationshipsmadeeasySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"My kid says she's dating someone, and she's 9!" Before you send in the cavalry, take a second to learn about all of the different ways kids express affection for one another and how to talk to them about it. We may want to learn the income, prospects, and favorite color of the crush in question, but sometimes it really is okay for kids to have secrets and feel independent in that regard.In this episode, we discuss: How to talk to your kid respectfully about their crushes How to spot signs that your kid has a crush/is dating What "dating" means at different ages Here are some links to the resources we discuss in this episode: Adrienne Wichard-Edds for the Washington Post: Why You Should Permit and Encourage Your Teen to DateDian Cheney for Good Housekeeping: So Your Teen is Dating--Now What?Bonnie J. Rough for the New York Times: The Value of Childhood CrushesSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here at What Fresh Hell we say there's no reason for anyone to comment on another person's size in a conversational setting. Ever. Including women who are (or who might appear) pregnant, and also including babies and kids who might appear either small or big for their chronological age.The latter is a course correction a lot of us might need to consider. What's the harm in saying a sweet little girl is teensy-tiny? Well, read the question of the week:My daughter is five, but the size of a three-year-old. She's teeny-tiny. How do you deal with other adults' comments about your child’s size? It’s infuriating to me that adults cannot stop making comments, from taxi drivers to her classmates' parents. It’s never other kids, at least not yet. I usually just acknowledge how old she is and try to shut down the conversation, but I’d love a really good comeback to make them realize that commenting on children’s bodies is never a good idea! Something else to note: I actually am concerned about her size, and we are going to the endocrinologist next month. All these comments just add to my anxiety. But there’s a good chance this is just who my daughter is!In this episode, Amy gives this listener ideas of what to say both when her daughter is present for these comments, and when she isn't; plus how best to react when it's a stranger saying these things, versus a grandparent or teacher or other adult your child might see more frequently.These comments might not have hurtful intent behind them; we'd argue they usually don't. But they're still insensitive, and if the parent in this situation can react with honesty and a bit of grace, it might just result in a teachable moment that will have that person behave differently next time.Amy references @feedinglittles on Instagram as a great resource for what to say in these moments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sara Dean is the host of The Shameless Mom Academy podcast, which inspires women and moms to live bigger, bolder, and braver #everydamnday.In this episode, we discuss how to turn our struggles into strengths why self-care is a basic human need how to "play bigger" and be a leader in your life, even when you are home with kids Connect with Sara at www.shamelessmom.comin her Facebook Group: www.shamelessmom.com/facebookand on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shamelessmomacademySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it rational to still be mad about that time in second grade when the kid right in front of you took the last sprinkles at the ice cream social?Is it reasonable to think just a little less of your childhood friend for serving Chex Mix at his wedding?Ours is not to reason why. This episode isn't here to tell you whether you all should be maintaining these grudges so carefully. It's here to hold space for them all. Stay angry, Hellions!Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices