What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites? If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents? And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them.In this episode we discuss: The definition of "adaptive divergence" The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments" At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open! LINKS! Our episode "Why Are Our Kids Such Total Opposites?" Lynn Berger for Mother Mag: "How (Not To) Compare Your Children" Dr. Frank Sulloway: "Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family" Jensen, Alexander C et al. in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence: “Parents' Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model.” Sheryl Ziegler for The Tot: "Why raising your kids differently is actually a good thing" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!Go to onepeloton.com to get $500 off Peloton Tread packages and choose the bundle you like best. All-access membership separate. Offer ends January 8, 2023. Excludes Tread basics. See additional terms at onepeloton.com.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever felt disappointed that you have only sons or only daughters? You're not alone, and you don't have to feel guilty about your feelings, either.A listener says:"I had my third boy in December (a surprise pregnancy and, frankly, one that my husband did not want). I'm finding it very difficult to get over the fact that I will never have a daughter. My mom and I were insanely close growing up and I always thought I'd continue that strong bond with my own daughter. All my friends and community around me have girls - we were literally the only of our network to have a boy and now I have three. I can't help feeling sad that I am missing out on a part of life that I grew up looking forward to. I feel so ashamed about it, I haven't been able to speak the words to anyone (least of all my husband who would fear I want a fourth - I don't, by the way). Many people keep asking if we're going to "try again for a girl," which we were never doing in the first place and just makes me feel more upset. My boys are 4, 21 months and now 5 months old. And I wouldn't trade them in for the world. How can I get over this?"In this "Best of" episode, Amy describes the anxiety she felt when she learned her third child would be a girl after getting used to parenting two boys. She explains that "gender disappointment" is extremely common– and helps our listener tease out and actively reframe the different emotions that might be at work.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you feel like you're in a constant state of verbal contact with your kids - either arguing, praising, or commanding, all day long? So did Michaeleen Doucleff, until she went on assignment to the Yucatan to learn about Mayan methods of parenting.Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff is a science reporter for NPR and the author of the New York Times best-seller Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. In this "Best Of" interview Amy, Margaret, and Michaeleen discuss: The power of NOT negotiating with your child Tenets of WEIRD parenting (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic) How Michaeleen's relationship with her daughter has improved with these techniques Taking note of how much you insert yourself into your child's activities during the day - and making a conscious effort to do so less - is a very important part of improving both your child's behavior and your relationship with them.Here's where you can find Michaeleen: Twitter: @foodiescience michaeleendoucleff.com Buy Michaeleen's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982149673 Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurveySpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is often difficult and painful to break parenting patterns that were harmful to us as children. But pattern-breaking is entirely possible and may not be as difficult as we fear.In this "Best Of" episode, Amy and Margaret discuss the definition of a pattern, how to notice our own, and why changing is indeed an option. Noticing your physical reactions to triggering situations - and noting that those are reactions to past situations, not the present one - can help you on your way to breaking old patterns.Links! Karen Young for Hey Sigmund: Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Parenting – How to Silence Old Toxic Messages for Good "This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin Robert Taibbi for Psychology Today: Breaking Old Patterns? Expect Psychological Withdrawal Rough Draft by Katie Tur Join our Facebook group!  Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting through grief can be isolating, overwhelming, and debilitating all at the same time. Margaret shares some helpful tactics, both from research and from her own experience, for processing a parent's terminal diagnosis while simultaneously helping your children understand the situation.A listener wrote in to say:"Good morning! I found your podcast in 2020 and love listening to you both. I am a 39-year-old mom of 2 girls (6 and 4). My mother was recently given a terminal diagnosis (specifically ALS). Margaret, you have spoken about the loss of your mother on the podcast. I was wondering if you have any tips or advice on how to handle the loss of your mother while also parenting young children (including how to keep her memory alive, since they are so young)."Margaret explains that it's important to process your feelings alone or with another adult before taking on your children's questions and feelings. But at the same time, it's important to speak openly and frankly with your children about what's happening and what will happen once their grandparent passes away.In the meantime, be intentional about memory making with your parent and include your children in that process. Margaret and Amy have both used Storyworth, a keepsake-making service that gives relatives a way to share meaningful memories and advice with younger generations. Storyworth is also a sponsor of our podcast, so if you go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell, you can get $10 off.Links!Deborah Serani for Psychology Today: "The Do's and Don'ts of Talking With a Child About Death"Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey.KC Davis is the creator of the mental health platform Struggle Care, where she shares a revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. She is a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and advocate for mental health and recovery. She's the host of the podcast Struggle Care– a member of our Adalyst Media podcast network!– and the author of How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing, which NPR just named one of their favorite books of 2022.We all get overwhelmed when we see our chaotic houses as endless "to-clean" lists that we never complete. In this "best of" episode, KC Davis offers simple and easy-to-implement strategies for making cleaning up functional--and giving you small wins along the way that really count.In this episode, KC, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why dirty dishes are morally neutral The five different categories of things to pick up in a messy room How working in a restaurant gave KC a new perspective on "closing duties"  Here's where you can find KC:https://www.strugglecare.com/aboutPurchase KC's book, How to Keep House While Drowning, here.Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What Fresh Hell is a finalist for a Signal Award! Please vote for our show to win a People's Choice Award at bit.ly/votesignalaward. Voting closes December 22!Here's the Spotify playlist of our favorite episodes from 2022!In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: Their past lives Why Polly Pockets are banned in Margaret's house How to know when to walk away - and when to run 2022 has been a great year for What Fresh Hell and for our new podcast network, Adalyst Media. We're excited to bring you more #oldilocks moments, interesting guests, and parenting solutions in 2023. Happy holidays!Special thanks to our Adalyst Media and What Fresh Hell team! Christy Haussler of Team Podcast, Editor Erica Furgiuele, Production Manager Sarah Levithan, Head of Sales at Adalyst Media Gabbi Lindgren, Assistant Director of Operations at Adalyst Media Keila Hill-Trawick of Little Fish, our accountant Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your child gets gifts they don't like from well-meaning family members, it can be difficult to navigate. The last thing we want to do is hurt our loved one's feelings, but we also need to teach our kids how best to handle this situation.Listener Gabbi wrote in to say:"Last year my 5-year-old daughter got a Christmas gift from my in-laws – a monogrammed chair for her room. They were excited about it and she was obviously not, and I had to smooth over hurt feelings later. Is there any way to help a handle the disappointment of receiving an unwanted present without making it too obvious?"Amy explains that when someone gives your child a present, it is important for them to recognize that this gift was given out of love and kindness. Even if they don't love the gift itself, they can still appreciate the kind gesture behind it. And you can always suggest or even purchase a gift yourself for your family member to give your child!Links!Sheila Hanson for Popsugar: "These 5 Words Changed the Way My Kids Receive Gifts"Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for Care.com, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services.Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of Mother Honestly, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace.Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research study between Care.com and Mother Honestly that assesses how remote work truly impacts working families at work and at home. The findings of that study have just been published as The Modern Workplace Report. Natalie and Blessing explain: How remote work makes employees more productive and parents more involved How remote work has changed gender roles in the home How employers can implement effective remote work policies Here's where you can find Natalie and Blessing: www.care.com www.motherhonestly.com @caredotcom on IG/FB/TW @mhworklife on IG/TW Read The Modern Workplace Report Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurveySpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year.Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone!The only thing on our wish list this year is for you to take our listener survey: bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurveyLinks! Here's the Spotify playlist of our holiday episodesAnne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays"Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree"Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?"Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply.Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH.For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Offer ends Dec. 31, 2022.Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH.Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood.Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices