When Our Kids Have Different Relationships with Our Parenting Partners

Do you feel like the odd parent out in your house? Or do your kids want only you to do everything with them all the time? A listener in our Facebook group asked:

"Is there an episode about one parent having a very different relationship with a child than the other parent? My 12yo and I seem to have a pretty functional (not perfect) relationship, but he and my hubs seem to end up arguing constantly. Thought at first it was a phase, but if it is, it’s a LOOOOONG one. Would love some perspective on this!"

Margaret and Amy discuss:

• How preferential treatment plays out in younger vs. older kids
• Why kids save their worst behavior for their primary caregiver
• Which one of them is conflict-averse and who's conflict-attracted (one guess which is which)

Preferring one parent over the other can be developmentally appropriate, but there are times when ganging up on one parent can become too much and needs some course correction.

Links!

• Our episode "When Kids Prefer the Other Parent Over You (Or You Over Them)"
• Ryan C. Martin for McSweeney's: "GOOD PARENTS CAPITALIZE ON THEIR INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS. MY WIFE’S IS SEEING TO OUR KIDS’ EVERY NEED, AND MINE IS ROUGHHOUSING"
• Marni Feuerman for VeryWell Family: "How to Cope With Parenting Differences"
• Mariah Maddox for Motherly: "If your kids act differently with you than dad, you’re not imagining it"

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.

Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. 

Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply.

You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial.

Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today.

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices