What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Mothers have long been held at fault for anything that might occur in their children's lives, from autism ("refrigerator mothers") to colic, and everything in between. Why is there such a long history of blaming everything on Mom?In this episode, we discuss how mom blame has manifested in both psychology and parenting advice over the years, and how we can start to push back on it in our own lives.Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Joseph E. Davis, PhD for Psychology Today: "For a Moratorium on Parent Blaming" Mitzi M. Waltz, PhD for the AMA Journal of Ethics: "Mothers and Autism: The Evolution of a Discourse of Blame" Rosjke Hasseldine for Medium: "How Mother Blaming Harms the Mother-Daughter Bond" Bonnie Zucker for Scary Mommy: "From a Psychologist: No, It's Not All Mom's Fault" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's developmentally appropriate for a toddler to shout "That's mine!" every five seconds instead of sharing. That's because toddlers and preschoolers are still learning what sharing even means. So what should a parent do when they have two little ones who are fighting over every toy? Our listener Katie sent us a message on Instagram asking:"I have two boys, the older almost two and a half, the younger a one-year-old (they're 18 months apart). My 2 1/2 year-old just says nonstop, "Nooo, this is mine!" and takes everything away from his little brother all day long. I'm constantly having to keep the younger one away from the older one, otherwise he will try to kick or hit him. It's frustrating and exhausting, and I know it's a normal stage, but I also feel like there must be something I can do to help."First, a parent should focus on the kicking or hitting, which is the immediate danger. Give that behavior a firm no, and then separate the children as necessary. Don't feel like you have to enforce playing together among kids who are just too young to share. Sharing is a behavior children can only really learn when they're three or four, as they develop what psychologists call "theory of mind." Sarah MacLaughlin, a social worker and parent educator, recommends that parents "sportscast" what's happening when a child shouts "That's mine!" to give more complete voice to what they're feeling, since they don't have the language to do so yet. For example: "Oh no! Your brother wants to play with the dump truck, but you also want to play with the dump truck. And now you feel so mad!" Here are some other resources for advice and tips on getting through the "that's mine!" and the no-sharing stages. Rest assured, your children will eventually learn what sharing is, even if they're terrible at it right now. -Sarah S. MacLaughlin for Zero to Three: "Helping Young Children with Sharing"-Nurtured First: "3 Tips for the Toddler 'MINE' Stage"-Harvey Karp, Happiest Toddler on the BlockSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-help culture rewards women and mothers who "stay strong." But that can lead to us people-pleasing even as we struggle, making sure no one sees that we're actually drowning. Andrea Owen, host of the Make Some Noise podcast, explains how some conventional self-help advice needs to be kicked to the curb.Andrea Owen is also a professionally-certified life coach and the author of three books, including How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that are Holding You Back from Happiness. In this episode Andrea, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Being a "compassionate witness" Quieting our inner critic Why it's okay to fall apart sometimes Here's where you can find Andrea: -https://andreaowen.com/-@heyandreaowen on IG, FB, and TikTokWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids have a less time for unsupervised, unstructured play than they did 40-50 years ago. Kids are also a lot less happy then they were back then. But has one actually caused the other? A new study says it has.Psychologist Dr. Peter Gray and his associates at Boston College recently published the paper Decline in independent activity as a cause of decline in children's mental well-being, which suggests that the decline in play and the decline in children's well-being are directly correlated:“Our thesis is that a primary cause of the rise in mental disorders (among children and teens) is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam and engage in other activities, independent of direct oversight and control by adults.”In this episode we discuss the fascinating research explored in this study, the difference in our freewheeling neighborhood childhoods and our own kids' more curated daily existences, and how letting our children take independent risks—and even get a few bumps and bruises— is setting them up for a sense of well-being that is all their own.Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast is new to Adalyst Media! 200 episodes of inspiration on how to reclaim the finite moments of childhood through prioritizing outdoor play.our recent Fresh Take with Dr. Camilo OrtizPeter Gray, et. al: "Decline in Independent Activity as a Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Wellbeing," Journal of PediatricsMia Venkat, Kathryn Fox, Juana Summers for NPR: "How lack of independent play is impacting children's mental health"We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we start to get our babies sleeping through the night, and how do we know whether they're old enough to do so? Margaret shares what worked for her when she had little ones.For at least the first eight weeks of a baby's life, ignore the people telling you that your baby needs to be on a schedule. Their schedule is feeding upon demand, and that's going to involve some nighttime wakings.Once the baby is at least eight weeks old, and with your pediatrician's go-ahead, you can start to shape the baby's day versus their night. Day should be bright, exciting, and lively. Night should be dark, calm, and quiet. When the baby wakes up during the night, they should be put back to sleep with minimal activity and sound—feedings and changing of diapers should be quiet and quick.It can help to send in the non-breastfeeding partner for the first waking of the night to get the baby back to sleep without feeding, and to start building longer stretches of time where the baby will sleep.Always consult your pediatrician for the best advice about how/when your baby should sleep!Margaret recommends Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp as a good resource.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can we make kids more anxious by being too protective? If kids are statistically safer than ever, why does it feel so hard to keep our kids safe?Psychologist Dr. Camilo Ortiz explains how such overparenting can be counterproductive for kids, and how to take a step back. Dr. Ortiz is the developer of "Independence Therapy," a new treatment for child anxiety.Margaret and Dr. Ortiz discuss:-why kids today have less freedom-how less freedom contributes to anxiety in kids-how the definition of "good parenting" has changed over the yearsHere's where you can find Dr. Ortiz: -X: @DrCamiloOrtiz-https://drcamiloortiz.squarespace.com/ -Dr. Camilo Ortiz and Lenore Skenazy for the NYT: "This Simple Fix Could Help Anxious Kids"-Listen to our Fresh Take with Lenore SkenazyWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can positive psychology help us create more of what we want for ourselves in this new year? Life coach Ann Imig takes Margaret and Amy through some of her coursework and tells us how to connect our already-existing personality strengths to more joy and well-being.Ann Imig is an award-winning writer, speaker, and performer, currently working as a certified positive psychology life coach. In 2010 she created the nationwide storytelling series and book titled Listen to Your Mother.Ann, Amy, and Margaret discuss:-taking stock of the previous year and using that knowledge to create what's next-how the character strengths quiz can help you create more well-being-how to get more of what we want in 2024Here's where you can find Ann Imig: -ListenLifeCoaching.com-Get a free 30-minute consultation with Ann!-Preview the "Year BEGIN" Workshop-Listen to Ann's podcast "It's Pronounced Memwah" with Wendy Aarons and Mariana Olenko-Take the character strengths quiz: https://viacharacter.org/We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/new year, resolutions, positive psychology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do your kids fight as much as they breathe? It's as normal as it is infuriating. This week Amy answers a question from our Instagram page:Man, am I struggling. My kids are four and two and all they do is fight. It’s constant. (The four year old is a girl and the two year old is a boy.) They hit, scream, fight, all morning and night. I try not to react too much, but... you get the idea.This kind of fighting is definitely in the #itgetsbetter category, but it's an extremely intense season while you're in it. The first thing to let go of is that siblings should get along, love each other, live in perfect harmony. For the next six months or a year, keep them separate! One in the yard, one in the playroom. One coloring in the kitchen, one playing trucks on the windowsill. Lower any expectations you have around what they should be doing together, and the fighting will go down.Blank-facing is the other arrow in your quiver. Fighting is not interesting to you. If someone is actually hurt, tend to the injured party and give as little attention as possible– even negative attention– to the instigator.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working?Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys. Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss:-How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD-Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term-How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kidsFirm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those kids have ADHD or not– is a good first step.Here's where you can find Ryan:-@adhddude on YouTube-@theadhddude on Instagram-@adhddude.ryanwexelblatt on Facebook-www.adhddude.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes all the "treasure every moment, Mama" content can make us feel like it's all downhill from here, that as our kids get older, each year of parenting becomes a little less special.This suspicion is confirmed when we're with our little ones at the grocery store and an older woman takes us in, nods knowingly, then says with a raised eyebrow, "Just you wait."But wait for what? Does only peril and sass-mouth lie ahead?In this episode we discuss how parenting changes, and why that change is not to be feared or resisted. Some things honestly change for the better. Some things for sure you miss. But all change is absolutely, totally okay.For more on this topic, and in particular the answers to "yes but when does it change for the EASIER?", check out our episode Your Life Begins Again When... (The Second Half of Parenting)We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices