What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Why is it that we can find ourselves in a marriage with someone we thought we knew but with whom we can't effectively communicate? Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of I Didn’t Sign Up For This, talks us through breaking negative cycles in our relationships.Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and voice behind @drtracyd.Dr. Dalgleish and Margaret discuss: Why dating doesn't prepare us for marriage The most common problems couples have, and what's really underneath those issues The best way to approach difficult conversations with our partners Here's where you can find Dr. Dalgleish: https://www.drtracyd.com/ @drtracyd on IG / FB @pesipublishing on IG Buy I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683736622 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here.This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode on meeting our kids where they are.It's hard not to be a little nervous when your kid is the only one still crying at preschool drop-off. Or the only one still spelling everything wrong in third grade. Sometimes it turns out to be a late bloomer situation, nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's an early indicator of something your kid might struggle with for a long time.How do we move beyond our own stress about what our kids are and aren't doing like the rest of the bunch? How do we adjust our demands to meet what our kids are actually capable of? How do we set our parental expectations so that our kids will be motivated to try harder without feeling bad about themselves?It's a tricky balance, best summed up by parent coach Sarah Wayland:"If we never had expectations that were beyond our children’s current abilities, we wouldn’t teach them anything.... But I’m at my absolute worst as a parent when my expectations are far beyond my kids’ abilities."Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Joanna Faber: Manage Your Expectations, Not Your Child Terri Mauro for Very Well Family: Backward Chaining for Special-Needs Children Dr. Sarah C. Wayland for Guiding Exceptional Parents: Meet Your Kids Where They Are Elaine Taylor-Klaus for Impact ADHD: Shift Your Expectations to Manage Complex Kids Listen to "When Typical Parenting Advice Just Doesn't Fit"We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you grow up thinking everyone's family has a tooth fairy that leaves tin foil behind instead of coins? Said "padiddle" whenever a car with a single headlight drove past? We asked our listeners what they grew up thinking everyone else's families did too... only to find out that nope, it was just them.Here's the link for "Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World"See the original Facebook thread hereWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we handle a life-changing diagnosis for our child without falling apart? A concerned mother asked for support in our Facebook group:"My sweet seven-year-old son just got two very life-altering diagnoses. I hate that he's going to have pain and struggle in his life. That some options for his life are off the table because of his diagnoses. He's just starting his life and already has so much stacked against him. My brain won't stop thinking; my fingers won't stop reaching for more information. How do you cope with this as a mother?"Amy tells this parent that she's right: this is a lot to handle, and she's not wrong to think so.Parents dealing with chronically ill children need to give themselves permission to feel all their feelings. Taking time for themselves is an important part of staying mentally healthy for the long haul.Real-life support is also crucial—and that can also include emails, phone calls, and online chats with parents you may never have met, but who are dealing with similar struggles. You don't have to pretend things are better or easier than they are when you are talking to fellow travelers who know just what you're going through.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we empower kids to recognize and manage difficult feelings, especially when those skills may be new to us too? Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, shows us how to foster emotional intelligence in our kids.Alyssa is the CEO of Seed & Sew, which supports teachers and families with tools for regulation, connection, and emotional intelligence. Alyssa is also the host of the podcast “Voices of Your Village.”Alyssa, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The main difference between parenting today and how most of us were parented The five components of emotional intelligence Collaborative Emotional Processing, Alyssa's framework for building long-term emotional intelligence in kids Here's where you can find Alyssa:  https://www.seedandsew.org @seed.and.sew on IG Buy TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063306264 Listen to the "Voices of Your Village" podcast - a new addition to the Adalyst Media network! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Information overload” is defined as the tipping point when the input of information exceeds an individual’s capacity to process it all. When we begin to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the amount of information that is available, we can end up feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than knowledgeable.For parents, the urge to find certainty through online research—only to end up feeling even less certain—is particularly common. How can we make the constant availability of information, useful and otherwise, work for us rather than against?Amy and Margaret discuss: How "information overload" can reduce decision-making abilities Whether obsessive internet searching is the result, or cause, of low self-confidence in parents How to know your limits, and then set them Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Terese Glatz and Melissa A. Lippold. “Is more information always better? Associations among parents’ online information searching, information overload, and self-efficacy.” International Journal of Behavioral Development. Jessica Runberg for The Washington Post: Is crowdsourced parenting eroding confidence? Cara Goodwin for Psychology Today: New Study: Information Overload for Parents We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when we disagree with our parenting partners about bedtime routines for our little ones?Here's how to get on the same side of the net against this issue.A listener writes:"My husband and I disagree about how to handle bedtime for our 5-year-old. It’s been a struggle to get her to sleep before 11 pm. My husband wants to tell her "you need to be in bed now" when it’s 9 pm or 9:30. This kicks off a huge temper tantrum and sets bedtime back even further. I say, just let her play until she’s tired. Any advice on how to handle different approaches to bedtime routines?"Kids of preschool age need about 10-13 hours of sleep (including naps), so if a 5-year-old is going to bed at 11 p.m., they may not be getting enough rest.On the other hand, changing up a young child's bedtime routine can result in an "extinction burst," or a pushback against this new and unexpected boundary. Know ahead of time that it may take about two weeks of hard work to successfully establish a new bedtime with your child that works for everyone.As far as discussing it with your parenting partner, remember to get on the same side of the net against the problem. The issue is a bedtime routine that has become stressful for everyone, including your 5-year-old.Here's the link to the article Margaret mentions in the episode:Mayo Clinic: "Child sleep: Put preschool bedtime problems to rest"Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

These days, early is normal for puberty onset—and early is REALLY early. That means kids whose brains might not match the way they look, and parents who are freaking out about how to bring these delicate matters up in conversation.Help is here! Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, co-hosts of The Puberty Podcast and co-authors of the new book This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, offer clear explanations (for parents and kids both!) and ways to start talking.Margaret, Amy, Vanessa, and Cara discuss: How puberty has changed in the past few decades Why we should treat kids as the age they are, not the age they appear Why "the talk" isn't a one-and-done conversation Here's where you can find Vanessa and Cara: https://orderofmagnitude.co/ IG and TikTok: @spillingthepubertea Buy This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593580950 Listen to The Puberty Podcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether it's the dreaded email sent to the wrong person or greetings gone wrong, we've all got moments we can't stop playing in our heads over and over. Here are some of our cringiest moments.Amy and Margaret discuss: Grammar school cringe High school cringe Dating cringe We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we support our kids' self-esteem when they take their frustrations out on themselves? Amy offers some tips for helping kids express frustration without getting down on themselves in the process.Keara asks:"My 4-year-old daughter is in preschool and just moved into a new classroom. Since then she’s been saying some unsettling things when she’s upset or thinks she’s in trouble. She’ll curl into a ball on the floor and say things like “I’m not good enough,” or “I ruined everything,” or “I’m not beautiful enough." I’m so afraid that’s the beginning of her inner monologue. How can I help her unlearn that kind of thinking at home?"Asking your child's teacher if there is in fact negative messaging happening at school is a good place to start. And you'll also want to ascertain if your kid is showing low frustration tolerance at school as well as at home, because the issue may lie more with increased frustration than with decreased self-esteem.If your child is saying these things only when they're upset or scared, that's another good sign that this is a way to express frustration that she's trying on, but which might not be the source of the frustration. It's an indication that her self-esteem isn't the issue so much as her ability to express these feelings of overwhelm.The most effective times to support your child's self-esteem are when she's not already dysregulated and upset. At those times, reassure her with your calming presence, but don't feel like you have to get her to unsay it all in the moment. She probably won't be able to respond in the way you want when she's upset.Take advantage of quiet moments to lean into positive self-talk. Pause those Disney movies (all of them have this moment) when the protagonist doubts themselves, and show your kid that even though people may doubt themselves, they can still get there in the end.Here's the link to the book that Amy mentions:A SMART GIRL'S GUIDE: LIKING HERSELF from American GirlSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices