What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

How do we get rid of the giant dollhouse or racecar track that our kid insists they ALWAYS play with? (Even though they don't.) Here's how to clean house while remaining on your kid's team.A listener on Facebook asks:"How have you been able to get your younger children to part with toys? I’m trying to get rid of the giant four-foot dollhouse we were gifted several years ago. My daughter is 4 and I think she only ever played with it 3 or 4 times (years ago), yet she is so attached to it! Did I mention it’s huge?! Oh and I hate it! I typically get rid of things they don’t play with when the they aren’t around, but this is like a piece of furniture and she’ll definitely notice its absence."There are two paths to getting this dollhouse out once and for all, Margaret explains. Playing the role of teammate and the role of benevolent dictator.Playing teammate means asking for your kid's help on how to get the dollhouse to someone who would appreciate it more. Playing benevolent dictator means acknowledging your child's love of the toy while holding firm on your stance of getting rid of it.Margaret prefers the teammate approach - your kid should feel heard, but they should also know you're in charge and have final say in the toy department.It's a good idea to rotate your child's toys out of site for a bit so that once they come out again, they feel new and exciting. And check in with your child regularly about which toys they're actually playing with to help them understand what's most important to them.Here's the link to the resource Margaret mentions in the episode:Birute Efe for Kidsactivities.com: "10 Ways to Get Rid of Toys without Drama"Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we teach our children that it's not okay to say mean things about family members, especially in front of them?Diana emailed us to say:"My 5-year-old daughter has a clear and strong preference for my in-laws versus my own parents, I think because she saw more of them when she was little, so is more comfortable with them. It hurts my feelings and also hurts theirs. She is very honest about her feelings and will say that she doesn’t want them to come over, doesn’t want them to sit next to her, doesn’t want them to stay when they do come over. I hoped by seeing them more she would warm up and she usually does have a good time with them once she settles in, but she’s still saying hurtful things. I would greatly appreciate any advice on making the situation more manageable."When children are expressing repeated resistance to spending time with certain grownups, it's always important to rule out whether there's another, more serious and unexpressed reason for that resistance. Once that's been ruled out, consider what secondary gain your child might be receiving from saying these things.Most 5-year-olds are old enough to have empathy, and understand when they've hurt others' feelings. It's also an age by which kids can usually learn to control their impulses. A child who is saying rude things to their friends and teachers, and not just at home, might need a little scaffolding around impulse control, and learning more appropriate ways to express her frustration. In that case, these hurtful comments can become teachable moments for fostering emotional intelligence.On the other hand, if only one person or setting is the location for these rude comments, then you know that it is in your child's control to express their frustrations differently. Model what you expect, hold the line, and you should see improvement.For more resources and ideas, check out this article:Amy Morin for VeryWell Family: 10 Ways to Handle Disrespectful BehaviorSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we reconcile the desire to give our kids independence with the desire to protect them from the world? Dr. Emily Edlynn, author of the new book Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, explains how we can let go of the anxiety-driven controlling impulses inherent in modern parenting.In this interview, Dr. Edlynn and Margaret discuss: The intersection of autonomy-supportive parenting and neurodiverse kids What an autonomy-supportive environment looks like (and what gets in the way) Tools we can use to prevent overparenting Here's where you can find Dr. Edlynn: www.emilyedlynnphd.com @DrEmilyEdlynn on IG, Twitter, LinkedIn The Art and Science of Mom, Emily Edlynn, PhD on FB Buy AUTONOMY-SUPPORTIVE PARENTING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781641709767 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zWe've got a mom for that! We asked our listeners what specialties you're the go-to people for. In this episode we discuss those unique and useful talents, from being the one who can pack an entire sectional into an SUV, to being the one who can make dinner for six out of a basically empty pantry.To that end, if you'd like to be the mom for that, Amy recommends Sam Sifton's book No-Recipe Recipes in this episode.We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I am part of a WhatsApp chat with other parents in my child's nursery. It's not set up by the nursery, nor does it seem to have all of the parents in it. The problem is it's very unpleasant and dominated by a small minority of very vocal complainers. It's causing me some anxiety and some distrust of the nursery which objectively seems unwarranted. What can I do?"Group chats are a double-edged sword. Some are amazing, like the What Fresh Hell Facebook group, and some are anxiety-causing and more trouble than they're worth.It's not your job to convince the other parents that they're being too negative - it IS your job to opt out for your own sanity and mental health, though. And it's perfectly fine to do so.You can quit completely or just mute notifications and go in to ask a genuine question every once in a awhile. It can occasionally be useful to know when certain events are happening or if there is an early dismissal, for example.Ultimately, engage with the conversations that are useful, and excuse yourself from the unhelpful negativity and complaining - you'll thank yourself later!Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“It's becoming increasingly clear that different ways of being are more 'normal' than most people realize, and that is truer with each passing year," says Debbie Reber, author of Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In this "Best of" Fresh Take, Debbie offers concrete, actionable ideas that will allow us to become exceptional parents to our exceptional kids.Debbie Reber is a parenting activist,  bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of TiLT Parenting, a top podcast, community, and educational resource for parents raising differently wired children.Debbie, Amy, and Margaret discuss: why typical suggestions for parenting neurodivergent kids can be inadequate finding opportunities to "tilt" our parenting, rather than struggling to straighten our child why small changes can have big impacts for differently wired kids Here's where you can find Debbie: https://www.debbiereber.com/ @debbiereber on Twitter @DeborahReberAuthor on Facebook Buy Debbie's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523506316 TiLT Parenting is now part of the Adalyst Media network! Check out all of our amazing podcasts at adalystmedia.com.We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes we need to stop trying so hard for things to get easier. We asked our listeners: where’s an area of your parenting where you got better results by doing less? In this episode we discuss our listeners' best advice on how to parent more lightly by caring less about our children’s: homework potty training outfits palates basic hygiene birthday parties We also talk “bare minimum parenting” in its many forms with guest James Breakwell, author of Bare Minimum Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Not Quite Ruining Your Child.James says bare minimum parenting isn’t about the number of kids you have: “Two children aren’t twice as much work as one. If you’re already yelling at the first kid, just add the name of the second kid at the end.” For James, bare minimum parenting is about playing the long game. Can you look around at a group of adults and pick out which ones had baby massage or language-immersion preschool? Okay, sometimes they’re dead ringers. But most of the time you can’t, and we think James’s new book is slyly revolutionary in the way it enables all of us to do less, worry less, and get our kids to pretty much the same place in the end.In other words, Bare Minimum Parenting doesn’t have to mean no rules. It can mean basic rules that work for your family. But those rules aren’t set by the family next door, or that clickbait-y guilt-inducing article you just read.And when the rules don’t work? Put them aside for a bit. No regrets.ICYMI: in this episode Margaret mentions this slackline as her key to bare minimum backyard fun— her kids play on it for hours.Here's where you can find James: Buy James's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982599294 @XplodingUnicorn on Twitter @ExplodingUnicorn on Facebook We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At what age are our children ready for the sometimes shark-infested waters of social media? What limits can we set and tactics can we use to keep them safe while allowing them to communicate with their friends and stay connected?Megan sent an email to questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com to ask:"I’m getting so worried about social media as my kids grow older. As a mom of three (ages 9, 12, and 14), I find myself at a loss when it comes to navigating this digital landscape. My oldest, who is in 8th grade, is starting to express a desire to get social media. She keeps talking about how all of her friends have it. However, I can’t help but worry about the unrealistic standards it sets, and how that could affect her development and self-esteem. Am I crazy for not wanting her to get Instagram and Tiktok? I want her to grow up like an average kid and not miss out on things her friends are doing. I just wish social media wasn’t so toxic, especially for girls."Your kid is likely telling the truth when she says that most of her peers are on social media. That doesn't mean your concerns as a parent for her safety and privacy aren't incredibly valid.Social media doesn't have to be an either absolutely-none or no-holds-barred decision. Privacy settings, and controlling what your child is posting, give you some control. It's possible to start with tighter reins and more oversight and then slowly let out the slack line.Take the particulars of your own kid into consideration. You know what's right for your kid. Set the rules you want with an open dialogue, rather than have it become something that your daughter can't talk about with you at all.Approaching social media with your child, rather than forbidding until she figures out how to do it behind your back, is probably the better option.Links to resources Amy mentions in the episode: Wait Until 8th: https://www.waituntil8th.org/ Devorah Heitner's book Growing Up In Public: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593420966 Bark.us (use this code for a free trial: https://www.bark.us/?ref=2R4XYRK) Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two recent national studies underlined that there's a surprising group of children at risk for worse mental health outcomes: kids who go to high-achieving schools. How do we protect our kids from the pressures all around them to succeed at any cost? Jennifer Wallace, author of the new book Never Enough, shows us how to teach our kids that they matter intrinsically.Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and a frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post. She lives in New York City with her husband and their three teenagers.Amy, Margaret, and Jennifer discuss: Why achievement pressure is at an all-time high How parents contribute to, but are not solely responsible for, this pressure How to teach our kids that they matter independently of their achievements Here's where you can find Jennifer: jenniferbwallace.com @jenniferbwallace on IG @jennifer.b.wallace on FB Buy Jennifer's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593191866 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when the usual parenting advice feels zero-percent applicable to our own situation? The first step is to let go of any "second arrow" self-blame that that is the case. The second step is to chart our own paths.Amy and Margaret discuss: What types of kids may not benefit from the one-size-fits-all parenting advice Why the concept of default parenting advice is harmful Why kids "irritating behaviors" are signs that they are growing and learning appropriately Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sarah Lyons for Western NY Family Magazine: "One Size Doesn't Fit All" Our episode "When Your Kid Doesn't Fit the Mold" Jeanie Lerche Davis for WebMD: 10 Commandments of Good Parenting Dana Bosu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different Andrew Solomon: Far From the Tree Ross Greene: The Explosive Child Rita Eichenstein: Not What I Expected Deborah Reber: Differently Wired Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices