Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

Vern Tompke
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Sep 22, 2025 • 31min

Ep. 179 - Marriage Hacks Pt. 3

In this third and final episode of Marriage Hacks - Vern explores some of the ways to explore why you hit a wall on certain topics with you partner as well as the idea of recognizing when you have a filter on that you need to communicate with your spouse.  Your marriage is not your recovery but working towards a better marriage can help in reducing the stress and friction in your daily life that often leads you to want to act our or use escape behaviors.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Sep 15, 2025 • 14min

Ep. 178 - Are You a Deep Fake

It seems that deep fakes are everywhere these days. My question for you is this - are you a deep fake?  Are you a person with a deep disconnect between the public and private you.  In this Episode I talk about how that happens and how to experience the benefits of living a life of integrity.Todays episode is summarized in a diagram that you can find on the Circle learning platform. So...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Sep 8, 2025 • 21min

Ep. 177 - The 5 W's - Examining a porn relapse

In a recent television episode of The Paper the new boss teaches his employers what it takes to be a local report.  Toward that end he talks about the classic rules for reporting called the 5 W's.  In this episode Vern talks about this in helping us learn to be better reporters of our relapse events.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Sep 1, 2025 • 27min

Ep. 176 - Sexless Marriages - A Marriage Plea

Women Please Note:  This episode is not mean to shame you if you are struggling with the after effects of the disclosure of your husbands porn use.  It is meant to encourage you not remain stuck in your pain, anger and grief and get the help to see your marriage restored to the dream you had when you walked down the aisle.  If you are a woman looking for a great organization to help you process the reality of being married to a recovering porn user - check out https://apsats.org/Men Please Note:  This podcast is not mean to be used to used as a lever to get your "wife in line".  It is meant to encourage to do the hard work necessary to woo or "tempt" her to trust you once again enough to restore intimacy to your relationship!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Aug 28, 2025 • 27min

Ep. 175 - More Marriage Hacks Pt. 2

We had so much fun last time I thought we would do it again.  Actually I realized there was a number of marriage tips and hacks that didn't make the last episode so I thought we would do a part 2!  Heres to having a great marriage relationship!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Aug 25, 2025 • 17min

Ep. 174 - 5 Marriage Hacks Pt. 1

Relationships can be hard work - especially maintaining a marriage over the long haul.  In this episode Vern shares 5 marriage hacks that can make that challenge be a little bit easier!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Aug 18, 2025 • 30min

Ep. 173 - Dating Honesty - Why When and How

What should I tell my girlfriend about my porn history (or other sexual history).  Should I hide it?  What if honesty will end the relationship?  In this episode I talk about why it is important to be honest but also nuance when and how this could be done.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIn the episode I reference a Pure Desire article on how to talk with your boyfriend about porn.  The following is the link to this article:https://puredesire.org/blog/how-to-ask-about-porn-use-while-dating/I also make reference to a great organization that offers counsellors to give women the support they may need to navigate their feelings and decisions around their partners porn use.Here is the link to that organizationhttps://apsats.org/Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Aug 12, 2025 • 28min

Ep. 172 - Welcome Back

So how did your summer go?  Vern has been away for the last month and shares somes up and downs from his summer holidays including a recovery lesson that he is working at integrating into his life.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Jul 9, 2025 • 1h 1min

Ep. 171 - Porn and Men's Health - A Conversation

It's fun to talk to people outside your circles who dont' necessarily share your experience or assumptions.  The following is a conversation I did with Jeremy Longpre from the North Star Podcast around men's health and problematic porn use.The following is a link to the North Star Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/north-star-podcast/id1660393769If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.
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Jun 25, 2025 • 26min

Ep. 170 - Breaking the Acting Out Cycle

Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch.  In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over.  To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comAre you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

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