back from the borderline

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a cycle, repeating the same mistakes, attracting the same toxic relationships, and feeling trapped in your own patterns? In this episode, we’re tackling a topic that affects us all, often without us even realizing it: the invisible chains of our own suffering. Abuse and neglect might feel comfortable because they’re all you’ve ever known. But what if I told you that the chains binding you are looser than you think?We’ll dive deep into the hidden forces that keep us comfortable in our suffering. We’ll explore trauma bonds and repetition compulsion – the unconscious habits and behaviors that draw us back into familiar but painful cycles. You’ll learn how these patterns are formed and, more importantly, how you can break free from them.This episode isn’t just about identifying the problem; it’s about empowering you with the knowledge and tools to transform your life. I’ll share personal insights and experiences, like how the imagery of the Tarot helped me uncover and understand my own chains. But more importantly, I’ll guide you through practical steps to recognize and lift these invisible constraints.You’ll hear about the profound realization that many of us are pacing in circles in an imagined cage, unaware of the freedom that lies just beyond our self-imposed limits. We’ll dissect the concept of trauma bonding and why we often find comfort in our pain, preferring the known suffering over the fear of the unknown.By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with a new perspective on your patterns and the inspiration to break free from them. Are you ready to unlock your chains and embrace the freedom that awaits? Tune in and take the first step towards a life unbound by the past.✧ Click here to read the original article from my Substack.✧ Click here to watch the video of Ina the bear, stuck in her imaginary cage.✧ Click here to view an image of the tarot card The DevilUnlock Exclusive Content: Join the Premium Submarines on Patreon for ad-free episodes and bonus content. Visit backfromtheborderline.com to subscribe to my newsletter, follow me on Instagram, and check out book recommendations.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Motherhood cracked me wide open. It’s not the polished journey you see on Instagram or the step-by-step guides in books—it’s raw, unrelenting, and transformative in ways I never expected. That’s why I’ve launched Back from the Borderline Baby—a brand-new podcast with its own dedicated feed, ready for you to follow now. In this episode, I share why this project had to exist. After becoming a mother, I found myself sifting through content that either glossed over the deeper truths or drowned in judgment and extremes. This new podcast is my answer to that—a space to ask harder questions, to wrestle with the emotional and psychological depths of this experience, and to honor the humanity of it all. If you’re looking for something real, something that cuts through the noise and speaks to the messy, beautiful complexity of this life stage, this is for you. The first episodes are live now, waiting to meet you wherever you are on your journey. TO LISTEN TODAY: Search Back from the Borderline Baby on your favorite podcast player to start listening now, or visit https://pod.link/1788205221 to select your favorite platform. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you ready to dive deeper into the untapped realms of self-mastery and understand the powerful cycles that govern our lives? In this final part of our two-part series, we’ll expand on the insights from our first episode, where we uncovered the delicate balance between mastering our fate and aligning with the universe's natural rhythms. In this episode, I take you further into the fascinating world of life cycles, exploring the seven-year phases that map out human growth and development. Ever wondered why certain ages seem pivotal in your life? We'll dissect each cycle, helping you identify which phase you're currently navigating and how to leverage this knowledge for transformative personal growth.Then, we shift our focus to the timeless wisdom of various esoteric and spiritual traditions, contemplating the profound concept of reincarnation—not to convert you to any spiritual belief, but to offer a broader perspective on life's challenges. Viewing life as a 'school' with lessons to learn can change how we approach our experiences, providing a framework for enduring growth and self-mastery. Tune in to explore how these ancient insights can be applied to modern life challenges, offering you a holistic view that connects your personal journey to the larger cosmic tapestry. This isn't just about spiritual beliefs—it's about using age-old wisdom to cultivate a deeper, more interconnected understanding of life, empowering you to navigate your path with greater awareness and purpose. Don't miss this chance to transform how you perceive and interact with the world around you.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever questioned why "chemical imbalance" and "mental illness" are the go-to explanations for our emotional struggles? What if these ideas have been deliberately planted in our minds by powerful forces? In this episode, we confront the unsettling reality that millennials and Gen-Z might be the victims of a covert grooming process designed to profit from their pain.We'll start by exposing the media's role in shaping our perceptions. The 1980s and 1990s saw a surge in pharmaceutical advertising directly targeting consumers, a move that changed the landscape of mental health forever. These ads, laden with emotional hooks and authoritative voices, didn't just promote pills—they promoted a narrative. We'll dissect how these messages have ingrained the idea that our distress is a medical problem, necessitating pharmaceutical intervention. Next, we delve into the deeper philosophical and systemic issues. Psychological suffering is often a natural reaction to a world that feels increasingly dysfunctional. By pathologizing these responses, systems of power divert our attention from the real issues, maintaining control and stifling change. Through philosophical lenses like existentialism and humanism, and backed by compelling case studies, we reveal how our environment profoundly shapes our emotional health.Finally, we'll challenge the foundation of modern psychiatric diagnosis: the DSM. How did this manual become the cornerstone of mental health, and what are its scientific and ethical shortcomings? We’ll uncover the economic motives driving its use and show how diagnoses can act as a form of psychosocial programming, altering our self-identity and reinforcing the biomedical model. By the end of this episode, you might find yourself questioning the very fabric of how we understand and treat emotional suffering. Prepare to uncover the unseen forces that have shaped your perceptions, perhaps for your entire life, likely without your conscious awareness. TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 38:22.18: PART 1 (Introduction and disclaimer; defining grooming in a socio-psychological context; historical context and evolution of pharmaceutical advertising; psychological impact of media messaging; philosophical critique of marketing strategies; philosophical perspectives on psychological suffering) 38:27.47 – 01:25:16.78: PART 2 (Psychological suffering as a response to existential challenges and societal dysfunction; systemic benefits and power structures; evidence from sociological and psychological studies; case studies illustrating environmental and systemic factors; historical and scientific critique of the DSM; pharmaceutical and insurance influence on medicalization; psychosocial programming through diagnosing and labeling) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you ever feel like you’re just reacting to life's script rather than writing your own? Are you tired of the same old self-help advice that doesn't quite resonate with your deeper instincts about the universe? This episode delves into the concept of self-mastery, a potent blend of ancient wisdom and personal empowerment that mainstream mental health discussions often overlook. In our journey today, we'll explore the intricate balance between creating your reality and understanding the seemingly predestined forces of fate. We're going deep into how syncing with the universe’s natural cycles can profoundly influence personal growth and well-being. You'll gain insights into how aligning with these rhythms can help you navigate life's challenges with greater ease and insight. Tune in to discover practical strategies for harnessing these timeless principles to not just cope, but thrive. By the end of this episode, you'll have a clearer understanding of how embracing both the cosmic forces and your personal choices can lead you towards true self-mastery. Join me as we unlock the deeper rhythms of life and learn how to dance to them effectively.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lily Phillips is a UK-based OnlyFans creator known for an audacious stunt where she slept with 100 men in a single day, while Josh Pieters is a YouTube creator who documented her story. They explore the intricate relationship between sex, self-harm, and empowerment, questioning societal narratives surrounding intimacy. Lily candidly discusses the emotional aftermath of her challenges and the pressures of a hypersexualized culture. The conversation dives deep into identity, choice, and the commodification of relationships, revealing the complexities beneath sensational headlines.

In this episode, we’re exploring why more of us are forging our own spiritual paths, stepping away from organized religion and venturing into uncharted territories. We'll examine how this shift empowers us, yet also opens the door to self-deception and the allure of superficial, commercialized experiences disguised as spiritual enlightenment. With the rise of digital platforms, spirituality has never been more accessible or more customizable. From WitchTok rituals at midnight to quick-fix meditation apps, and Instagram influencers who mix timeless wisdom with modern hustle—it’s all just a click away. But in this vast digital landscape, how do we discern what’s genuinely transformative from what’s merely trendy? It's crucial to navigate this space with a critical eye. The freedom to choose our spiritual beliefs also exposes us to the risk of self-deception. How do we keep our spiritual compass steady, avoiding the pitfalls of commercialized enlightenment and superficial experiences? We're cutting through the noise to see what spirituality really looks like in the internet age. We’ll explore how this shift toward personal spiritual journeys can empower us, yet also leave us vulnerable to the shallow allure of the spiritual marketplace. If you've ever questioned the authenticity of your spiritual journey or wondered if you're evolving or just ensnared in attractive narratives, this episode is for you. Let’s dig deep and get real about what it means to seek enlightenment in our digital world. TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 29:05.45: PART 1 (Exploration of modern spirituality's resurgence, balancing individual spirituality with discernment, understanding disenchantment and re-enchantment, rise of personalized spiritual practices via platforms like WitchTok, and historical shifts away from institutional religion towards more personal spiritual experiences.)29:05.45 – 01:01:42.02: PART 2 (Discussion on digital spirituality's risks including echo chambers, misinformation, and commercialization; exploring self-deception and the dangers of trivial spiritual practices in online spaces; strategies for balancing digital exploration with credible guidance; tips for discernment and critical thinking in spiritual content; envisioning a balanced digital spiritual framework that supports genuine growth.) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The early internet was chaos—a digital Wild West with no rules, no boundaries, and no protection. It was a breeding ground for predators, a place where manipulation could flourish unseen. Millennials were the first generation to grow up online, left to navigate this unregulated landscape with no roadmap. We were told to look out for the creepy man in the van, but no one warned us about what happens when the man doesn’t need a van—when he’s behind a screen, building trust in ways no one knew to look for. In this episode of Back From the Borderline, I share my personal story of walking the edge of the music industry’s darkest realities—an experience that mirrors the cultural reckoning sparked by recent allegations against Sean “Diddy” Combs and Jay-Z. These stories aren’t isolated. They reflect how systemic power, celebrity worship, and the internet combined to create a perfect storm, leaving young people vulnerable in ways we’re only now beginning to understand. We’ll unravel how a culture that glamorized power and silence enabled these dynamics to thrive. It wasn’t just the internet or the industry—wider society had no problem with the way young women were sexualized and exploited, shrugging it off as the price of ambition or desire. Our parents may not have seen the full scope of what was happening, but the culture around them did—and stayed quiet. Now, decades later, the same generation that told us to stay silent is feigning outrage over the very scripts they helped normalize. This is a story about more than individual predators. It’s about systems designed to protect the powerful and the cultural blind spots that let exploitation flourish in plain sight. It’s also about how those systems are starting to crack. The same internet that once made us easy prey is now a tool for exposing the rot, amplifying survivors’ voices, and shining light on the shadows that have lingered too long. There’s no neat resolution here. But if anything, this conversation is a reminder: We were set up to believe nothing was wrong, and waking up to that is the first step toward reclaiming what was taken from us.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the velvet curtain of the Victorian era to reveal the disturbing world of H.H. Holmes, America’s first documented serial killer. His story isn't just a tale of murder and deception—it's a harrowing journey into the complexities of the human psyche. As we traverse the cobblestone streets of 19th century Chicago, I delve into Holmes's early life, exploring how a combination of societal pressures, inherent cunning, and emotional detachment molded a charming young boy into a master manipulator. From his upbringing during the paradoxical Victorian era—a time obsessed with both scientific progress and the macabre—to the pivotal moments that sparked his descent into infamy, we uncover the layers of influence that shaped his dual life. The heart of our exploration beats within the walls of the infamous "Murder Castle," a labyrinthine structure of Holmes's own design. Here, his darkest impulses were unleashed, turning adaptive survival strategies into lethal traps for his unsuspecting victims. As we dissect Holmes's methods and the chilling ease with which he lured his prey, a critical question emerges: How did society’s fascination with the grotesque and the unknown feed into Holmes’s narrative, and what does this macabre curiosity reveal about our own? This episode is more than a historical recount; it's a deep dive into the psyche of a man who was a product of his time yet disturbingly ahead of it. By understanding Holmes's life and crimes, we confront uncomfortable truths about the potential for evil within all societal frameworks. Join me as we journey through the dark corridors of history, examining how the shadows of the Victorian era mirror today's societal challenges. It's an exploration that promises not only to captivate but also to enlighten, urging us to remain vigilant against the darkness that can so easily grow in the unwatched corners of society. TIME STAMPS: 05:23.84 – 42:57.70: PART 1 (Explore H.H. Holmes's Victorian upbringing, his charismatic yet manipulative nature from an early age, and the development of his sinister survival strategies amidst a backdrop of rigid societal norms and emerging sciences.) 42:57.70 – 01:21:08.88: PART 2 (Delve into Holmes's infamous crimes from the construction of the Murder Castle to his psychological profile as a serial killer, and examine the media's role in sensationalizing his actions, reflecting on Victorian society and its influence on modern true crime fascination.) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.” This incisive observation, often attributed to Andrew Lewis, lays bare the unsettling reality of our digital age. In this episode, we dissect Jaron Lanier’s book, "Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now", uncovering how these platforms exploit our behaviors and data for profit.Lanier, a pioneer in virtual reality and a vocal critic of Silicon Valley, exposes the manipulative architectures of social media that commodify our attention and influence our perceptions. We explore how these digital landscapes are meticulously engineered to foster dependency, distort self-worth, and erode authentic human connections.This conversation challenges us to confront the pervasive influence of social media on our consciousness and societal norms. By examining Lanier’s compelling arguments, we consider the profound implications of our online engagements and the potential liberation found in reclaiming our digital autonomy. Prepare to question the true cost of “free” services and to envision a more intentional relationship with technology—one that honors personal sovereignty and fosters genuine connection.Resources:✧ Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier✧ The Social Dilemma (Netflix Documentary released in 2020)✧ Ground News (news platform that flags media bias)Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.