back from the borderline

Are you stuck in a cycle of self-reflection that seems to circle back rather than propel you forward? When does introspection stop being helpful? It's not uncommon to reach a point where you understand the contours of your past traumas and the gaps in your childhood, yet find yourself at a loss for how to step beyond this knowledge and truly transform your life. This episode is for those who are ready to break free from the endless loop of introspection and start crafting a new narrative—one that moves beyond past pains to a future filled with new possibilities. In this episode, we’ll explore the fine line between helpful self-examination and the kind that leads to isolation and inaction. We'll dissect how today's self-care-centric culture can inadvertently dampen our ability to engage fully with life and meaningfully connect with others. We'll also discuss how excessive introspection, whether pursued in therapy or through self-directed healing, can hinder our personal growth.Gear up to learn how to recognize when you're over-indulging in introspection, discover strategies to harmonize internal reflection with active engagement in the world, and find practical ways to ensure your self-improvement efforts genuinely enhance your life and spur real, impactful change. This episode is essential listening for anyone on a quest for self-awareness, offering fresh insights that promise to transform your approach to personal development and recovery.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How often should you and your partner be having sex? Is there a magic number that signifies a healthy relationship? It’s easy to obsess over these questions, and sometimes, this fixation can even harm stable, loving partnerships. These concerns are amplified not only by idealized media portrayals but also by the underlying fear that we might not be living up to some invisible standard of a successful relationship. In this episode, I’m moving away from the perfect, passion-filled narratives that often dominate our screens and digital spaces. Instead, I'll delve into the true essence of intimacy—how it’s expressed, experienced, and nurtured in diverse relationships. I'll challenge the myths about how often couples 'should' be having sex and broaden the discussion to include a deeper, more nuanced understanding of desire, one that’s often glossed over by social media influencers and alarmist magazine articles warning that you’re not keeping things spicy enough in the bedroom. This conversation is about breaking down the pressures and expectations that cloud our perceptions of intimacy and can sabotage perfectly healthy relationships. I'm here to empower you to communicate openly with your partner and redefine intimacy in ways that resonate with both your needs and desires, free from societal myths that falsely equate constant physical intimacy with relationship quality. By exploring different types of desire, you'll learn how to foster a connection that’s based not on frequency but on mutual satisfaction and deeper emotional bonds. Let’s throw those random stats and the so-called 'rules' about relationships in the trash where they belong. Settle in and get ready to redefine intimacy on your own terms.✧ Click here to follow Shan Boodram on Instagram (@shanboodram) [source for the reel at the beginning of this episode]TIME STAMPS:00:00 – 40:37.45: Part 1 (Exploring societal pressures, media influences, empirical studies, medicalization of desire, and generational differences affecting perceptions of intimacy and sexual health.)40:37.45 – 01:14:07.42: Part 2 (Delving into types of sexual desire, the reality of long-term intimacy, and the importance of aligning values and libido levels in relationships.) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Explore how your thinking shapes your reality and relationships. Discover Ken Wilber's AQAL Integral Theory, a framework for understanding levels of consciousness that can transform your interactions. Delve into the instinctive, magical, and egocentric levels of psychological development, and learn the importance of empathy in navigating relationships. Highlighting the balance between rationality and emotional insight, this discussion advocates for personal growth, self-awareness, and an integrative vision for a compassionate society.

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the curtain on the infamous Salem Witch Trials, diving deep into the murky waters of human fear and legal injustice that define one of America's most haunting historical moments. Forget the dry recounting of events—you're in for a psychological deep dive that challenges everything you thought you knew about witch hunts. I start with a gritty look at Puritan New England, where strict religious codes met the harsh realities of colonial life. Picture a community perched on the edge of the unknown, wrestling with internal terror and the daily pressures of survival in a stark, unforgiving landscape. I explore how these conditions fermented a potent brew of suspicion and scapegoating, where women, especially those who dared to defy norms, were marked as society's malevolent outcasts. From there, we get personal with Bridget Bishop, the flamboyant tavern owner whose boldness made her a target, and Cotton Mather, the minister whose fear of devilry drove him to fanaticism. Their stories are chilling reflections of how societal pressures can twist faith and fear into a deadly weapon. The stakes rise in the second half of the episode, where I dissect the mechanics of the witch trials—how spectral evidence and touch tests weren't just quirks of pseudo-science, but death sentences waiting to happen. We'll walk through the chaos of the trials, feeling the palpable fear that gripped Salem, leading to a breakdown of community ties and a long shadow of mistrust. But the resonance of Salem doesn't stop in the past. I draw bold lines connecting the paranoia of the witch trials to modern-day frenzies like the Red Scare and today's cancel culture wars. How does a tweet from a decade ago become the spectral evidence of our time? We're diving deep into the psychology of social media mobs and the dangers of moral purity tests that leave no room for mercy or growth. By the end of this journey, you'll see the Salem Witch Trials not just as a chapter in a history book, but as a mirror reflecting our ongoing struggles with fear, control, and the othering of those who dare to be different. Are we repeating history by engaging in new witch hunts under the guise of justice? Join me in this latest edition of 'Anatomy of Evil' as we delve into the shadows of human nature, transcending labels to uncover the deep currents that push us to the brink.TIME STAMPS:✧ 00:00 – 47:56.08 – Part 1: Foundations of Fear (Exploring the origins and setting of the Salem Witch Trials, from historical context to key figures like Bridget Bishop and Cotton Mather.)✧ 47:56.08 – End – Part 2: Hysteria and Legacy (Diving into the mechanisms of mass hysteria, the trials' impact on the community, and their enduring lessons on social justice and human rights.)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s episode, you’ll discover how the environment and culture an individual is immersed in can actively shape—and even create—illnesses and behaviors. We’ll explore the little-known “mouse utopia” experiment, which highlights how, even when a species lives relatively free from predators and has abundant resources, individuals in that environment can still exhibit bizarre, self-destructive behaviors due to overcrowding and severe social stress. This experiment on mice might tell us a lot about our current collective Western mental health crisis, especially when considering the concept of the behavioral sink. As we navigate modern society, we often face subtle, pervasive pressures that profoundly shape our mental health. Just as the mice in the experiment struggled with their environment despite having all their needs met, we, too, can find ourselves overwhelmed by social media, societal expectations, and the constant chase for perfection. These pressures can lead to modern culture-bound syndromes, where unique cultural and social factors create and exacerbate mental health issues.Understanding these patterns can help us recognize and resist harmful cultural trends that seem shiny and appealing but can lead to negative mental health outcomes. By shining a light on these hidden forces, we can empower ourselves to heal from trauma, improve our mental well-being, and live lives full of meaning. Tune in to learn how our culture might be unknowingly fostering behaviors and mental health issues—and, more importantly, how you can break free from these cycles yourself. Whether it’s understanding why people are having less sex or how social media algorithms trap us in negative spirals, we’ll uncover the hidden forces at play and learn how to better resist them by bringing conscious awareness to the dark, shadowy corners of our modern lives.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever thought that a cosmetic procedure might transform your life, only to worry it could lead to crushing debt and lasting regret? In this hard-hitting episode, we dive deep into the world of cosmetic surgery regrets, exposing the hidden truths and societal pressures that drive people to alter their appearance. Join me as I unpack a revealing 2023 study on decision regret in plastic surgery. We'll uncover why so many people feel disillusioned after their procedures, exploring key factors like unmet expectations, the lack of thorough preoperative education, and the impact of postoperative complications. Discover how the promise of 'Kylie Jenner’s lips' or 'Kim Kardashian’s nose' often leads to unforeseen outcomes and the predatory practices of some medispas that prioritize profit over patient well-being. After hours of sifting through Reddit, I've gathered the most raw and authentic voices sharing their experiences with fillers, CoolSculpting, laser treatments, microblading, rhinoplasty, and breast augmentation. Hear firsthand accounts of botched results, financial burdens, and the emotional and psychological toll of cosmetic enhancements gone wrong. These real-world insights provide a stark look at the risks involved and the pervasive dissatisfaction felt by many. Finally, I'll share my personal journey with cosmetic procedures, reflecting on the psychological impacts and the realization that true happiness doesn’t come from external changes. We’ll also delve into the broader societal and psychological implications, examining how social media and advertising shape our beauty standards and contribute to mental health issues like body dysmorphia and anxiety.TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 30:19.57: Part 1 (Introduction to decision regret in elective healthcare, overview of a 2023 study, key findings on preoperative education and shared decision-making, and discussion of societal pressures and predatory practices in the cosmetic industry.) 30:19.57 – end: Part 2 (Examination of real-world experiences from Reddit on cosmetic procedure regrets, detailed accounts of issues with fillers, CoolSculpting, laser treatments, microblading, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, and personal reflections on the psychological impacts and societal implications.)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Discover the complexities of emotional intensity and sensory sensitivity. Delve into Dabrowski's theory, celebrating personal growth through emotional experiences. Learn about the five types of overexcitabilities and how they shape lives and relationships. Explore effective communication strategies for families, especially when parenting gifted children. Transform overwhelming traits into unique strengths that empower both individuals and connections with others. Embrace your intensity as a valuable asset on your journey.

Have you ever felt like your attempts to maintain picture perfect image might be doing more harm than good? Or maybe you’ve struggled with balancing respect for authority without being totally overshadowed? In this final episode of our special mini-series on Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power, we delve into three crucial laws that can help you protect yourself and navigate power dynamics with grace and strategy. For those of us who are highly sensitive, recovering from trauma, or frequently finding ourselves in complex relationships, the insights from this episode are invaluable. We’ll explore how to balance humility with confidence, uncover the importance of understanding others’ weaknesses ethically, and discuss why avoiding the appearance of perfection can shield you from unnecessary envy and hostility. By the end of this episode, you'll understand how to maintain a strong, authentic presence without inciting jealousy, how to navigate authority figures respectfully while asserting your own value, and how to use your knowledge of others’ vulnerabilities to build support rather than manipulate. Tune in to discover how these final laws can become tools for self-protection, personal growth, and lasting empowerment. This is your final step in reclaiming your power and breaking free from the repetitive cycles of drama in your personal and professional life.TIME STAMPS:06:40.53 – 40:24.76: Law #1 (“never outshine the master”)40:30.30 – 59:38.85: Law #33 (“discover each man’s thumbscrew”)59:38.85 – 01:25:16:24: Law #46 (“never appear too perfect”)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt a deep sense of isolation from your family, an intense awareness of death, or a constant craving for emotional nurturing from partners who just can't meet your needs? These feelings might be linked to a concept known as "Mother Hunger."In this episode, I delve into the profound and often hidden impact of being under-mothered—a condition where the essential maternal nurturing, protection, and guidance were lacking during your formative years, leading to what is often referred to as the "mother wound." Drawing from the insights of experts like Kelly McDaniel and Dr. Oscar Serrallach, you'll explore how inadequate maternal care can shape your emotional landscape and influence your relationships throughout life.You'll learn about the symptoms of Mother Hunger, including emotional immaturity, delayed grief, and transferred needs. I'll discuss the generational transmission of this emotional wound and the societal pressures that perpetuate it, emphasizing the need for understanding and compassion. You'll also discover practical steps towards healing, from seeking trauma-informed care and building safe relationships to engaging in specific therapeutic approaches like Attachment-Focused EMDR and Somatic Experiencing.By the end of this episode, you'll gain a deeper understanding of how to address and heal from these deep-seated emotional wounds.References:✧ the mother wound: sacred scars as a portal to healing [back from the borderline episode]✧ manipulative love: narcissistic mothers, enmeshed parentified children, and emotional incest [back from the borderline episode exploring Jeannette McCurdy’s book “I’m Glad My Mom Died]✧ Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover TawwabCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Explore how reputation shapes both personal and professional life. Discover the importance of guarding your public image and learn effective strategies for managing conflicts. The episode dives into transformative insights for those navigating manipulation and trauma, emphasizing the power of strategic planning. Understand how to counter harmful behaviors and reclaim your agency with confidence and integrity. These laws aren't about ruthlessness, but rather about empowering yourself to navigate life’s complexities with awareness.