ask a sub

It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm doing for Patreon members called DEEP DIVE. Deep Dive is a monthy series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions about their work. Not only are these interviews fun and informational, but with your support we're creating an oral history of kink at this moment in time. Exciting stuff! Pain is a sensation that is heavily stigmatized in our culture. It can be hard to understand why masochists do what they (we) do when you're working from that cultural understanding alone. Which is why I brought in Leigh Cowart, science reporter and self-proclaimed masochist, to explain to us not only why humans pursue pain on purpose, but how it all works in your brain and body. And they have all the answers, having written one of my favorite books on a kink-related topic, Hurts So Good: The Science And Culture Of Pain On Purpose. As as we put it in the interview, we're all just goopy primates trying to have some fun in our meat sacks. So cue up this interview and let the goop between your ears understand a little bit more about itself :) Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/deep-dive-all-of-69147471 Socials / Links: http://www.instagram.com/voraciousbrain http://www.twitter.com/voraciousbrain

It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm doing for Patreon members called DEEP DIVE. Deep Dive is a monthy series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions about their work. Not only are these interviews fun and informational, but with your support we're creating an oral history of kink at this moment in time. Exciting stuff! What does it take to scandalize Lina Dune you ask? Cory Bush and Adam Rei Siegel's sex life. These two people have the most remarkable scene planning energy and I can't wait for you to hear about all their exploits in great detail. Do not listen in public unless you're ready to BLUSH. HARD. Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/creative-scene-68384204 Socials / Links: Cory: http://www.instagram.com/thecorybush Adam: http://www.instagram.com/adamreisiegel The Library: http://www.instagram.com/thelibrarynyc

It's official! Once we receive 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm doing for Patreon members called DEEP DIVE. Deep Dive is a monthy series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions about their work. Not only are these interviews fun and informational, but with your support we're creating an oral history of kink at this moment in time. Exciting stuff! May's Deep Dive was with Shamanatrix Dia Dynasty, and William the founder of kink space Temple NYC. We talked about co-topping, their favorite scenes, why responsible tops love newbies, and how kink allows us to resist the influence of capitalism. They also invited us into the magical world of FemDom Farm, a kink-influenced commune-style space that is resurrecting the Matriarchy. Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/66799037 Socials / Links: Dia: Instagram / Twitter / Website William: Instagram / Twitter Temple NYC: Instagram / Website FemDom Farm: Instagram / Twitter Media Recs: Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and The Teachings Of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer Your Relationship Is A Garden: Codependence & D/s Dynamics by Lina Dune

While I work on bringing you a second season of Ask A Sub, in the meantime I want to share a teaser of a patreon-exclusive series I'm doing called DEEP DIVE. Deep Dive is a monthy series wherein I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink community, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions about their work. In April I had the honor of kicking off this series with the legendary nightlife curator Venus Cuffs. We covered play parties from every possible angle, from the organizing side to the attendee side, and gave listeners tips and tricks for attending kink events. Then Venus told us all about female-led D/s relationships and the beauty therein. Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub To access the full length recording go here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/venus-cuffs-on-65023115 Our next patrons-only Q&A will be on May 19th at 5pm PST with will be with with dominatrix Dia Dynasty and William of @tiemetightly / the founder of Temple NYC. They will talk Dominance, rope, and FemDom Farm. See you there!

In our season finale, we wade into the waters of respect, romance, and all things mushy gushy. First, hear Lina's thoughts on training collars and creating contracts – how to set up expectations, needs, and all the rice-kneeling moments in between, including a little peek into Lina's accidental protocol misinterpretation at the start of her own dynamic! Next, Lina talks about something we don't hear covered often – the romantic side of D/s dynamics and what happens if you fall in love with your Dom(me). Finally, Lina offers advice on how to kinkify a wedding and marriage as a whole. And make sure to stay tuned to the end for the big, juicy reveal y'all have been waiting for! Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon to show your support for the show and to join the kinky party as we wait for season 2! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub Check out Voodoo's Flower Power vibe at voodoo.toys and use promo code "ASKASUB30" for 30% off your entire online order! Get 20% off Lina's Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week, we cover all the basics of dating and finding kinky people to play with. First, Lina covers the FAQs of dating app profiles – what to do if you're looking for your ideal Dom(me), how to signal to people that you're kinky without screaming "I'M A SUB" (but also totally cool to do this too), and how to connect from there. Next, Lina offers tools and criteria to navigate how to safely transition from apps to IRL to explore your kinks. And finally, Lina serves up some radical advice while covering the dilemma of getting you someone who can do both – aka, be your Dom(me) but also be a compatible partner outside of a scene. This episode is brought to you by Pure App, the shameless, sex-positive place to date! Visit https://puredating.app.link/jklrkuzrFlb for your dating needs! Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you'd like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic! Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner

CW for the Episode: Assault–please skip to 16:14 to go straight to question 2. Lina starts this week's episode by talking about how trauma informs Kink and BDSM, and the healing aspect that can come along with it. But big spoiler alert, there is no magical cure for trauma. And that's okay! In fact, your trauma doesn't need to even be involved with your Kinkiness at all if you so choose. Next up, Lina covers what loneliness can look like in BDSM and the self-shaming tendencies we have towards figuring out our roles and desires–and provides validation in having likes and dislikes and how to address those needs as submissives. And finally, hear Lina wax on the poetics of Cucking and what it can bring to the Kinky table, especially as a potential bridge between monogamy and non. And what to do about that lil thing called jealousy and how best to address it in moving towards threesomes, cucking, and/or ENM together. Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity: https://bookshop.org/a/14567/9780060753641 Ethical Slut: https://bookshop.org/a/14567/9780399579660 Dan Savage: https://www.thestranger.com/savage-love/2020/01/14/42559563/savage-love Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you'd like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic! Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub Get 20% off Lina's Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner

CW for the Episode: CNC–please skip to 13:50 to go straight to question 2. This week, Lina breaks down Consensual Non-Consent – what it is, where the fantasy comes from, and how to safely proceed in play while still feeling seen and taken care of. Her secret?Starting slow. Lina then pivots to BDSM collaring, how it has changed over time, what it means now, and what it signifies to you and your dynamic. Over at Ask a Sub HQ, we personally love collars so strap in for your options and permission to do whatever kind of collaring works for and empowers you. And finally, Lina addresses the dilemma of a 24/7 sub in an ethically non-monogamous relationship who wants to maintain their protocols and stay true to their Dom's wishes, but also meet the needs of their other partners. Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you'd like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic! Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub Get 20% off Lina's Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week on the table of sub wisdom is something a lot of subs historically have a past with – people pleasing. There is no magic solution, but Lina does her best to unpack it like the classic algebra problems that we definitely don't miss from highschool (but can we all agree that sexy problem-solving would have made the class a whole lot more fun?) Like what if "X" was monogamy and "Y" was kink–how do we get to "Z"?? And how about if "X" is people pleasing, and "Z" is being a Good sub, what is the value of "Y?" Okay, maybe too far but Lina still gets to the bottom of why people pleasing isn't healthy and how to try to shut it down, stay authentic to yourself, and go on to live your happy submissive life. And finally, Lina discusses what to do if you experience shaming from your friends and/or family about your kinky ways (no algebra here, we promise, just straight facts and support). Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you'd like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic! Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub Get 20% off Lina's Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week, Lina takes on Society at Large! Hear her thoughts on how to navigate the social stigma around BDSM culture – especially turning those "oh, that's not normal" comments into something more expansive and inclusive. Lina then digs into those shamey sub drop feels that society and culture have reinforced in our spongy brains and how to retrain your thoughts and be gentle with yourself in those moments. She's also serving up a hot take on countering toxic positivity, especially in the sex-positive sodia media landscape. And finally, Lina reveals her secret of How to D/s Quietly! (Just kidding, there is no secret). Really though–cohabitating with adults and having a dynamic may seem tricky, but Lina gives her advice on how best go about this because spoiler alert, most people have sex and no matter what, you're probably going to hear it–dynamic or not! Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you'd like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic! Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub Get 10% off your first order at Momotaro Apotheca with code "SUBPODCAST" - www.momotaroapotheca.com Get 20% off Lina's Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter! Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show! Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Art by Kayleigh Denner