Teach Me How To Adult

Are you exhausted from constantly trying to make everyone else happy, and losing yourself in the process? Today, we’re talking about breaking free from the burnout of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional outsourcing, and how to regulate your nervous system, trust yourself, and stop abandoning your own needs for the comfort of others.We’re joined by Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP, a Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing and Breathwork Practitioner, and Master Certified Somatic Life Coach. Bea unpacks the hidden cost of emotional outsourcing™, AKA the survival habit of looking to others for validation, self-worth, and emotional regulation, instead of tuning into yourself.We dive into polyvagal theory, recognizing when you’re in functional freeze, and using somatic tools and nervous system mapping to heal the patterns of codependency, self-abandonment, and avoidance that keep you stuck.If you’ve ever Googled “how to stop people-pleasing,” “why do I care so much what people think,” “how to heal my nervous system,” or “how to set boundaries without guilt,” this episode is for you.Tune in to learn about:What Emotional Outsourcing really means — and why it’s a nervous system response, not a personality flawHow people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependence develop from early survival patternsPolyvagal theory 101: how understanding your vagus nerve can help you stop self-abandoningAre you in a state of functional freeze? How to recognize and heal from itUnderstanding social hypervigilence (and the empath paradox)How to set boundaries and make decisions without guilt or second-guessingNervous system mapping and somatic tools to interrupt your automatic responsesHow to find balance between flexibility and authenticityHow to stop “performing” to earn love and acceptancePractical tools for reclaiming your identity, rebuilding self-trust, and honouring your own needs without fear of conflictFollow Bea's Instagram and podcast. Buy Bea's book End Emotional Outsourcing! For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Have you ever stayed in a job, relationship, or situation that’s making you unhappy just because you’ve already invested so much time, money or effort into it? GIRL, SAME. And that’s on sunk cost fallacy, one of the most common (and costly) psychological biases that can keep us trapped following paths that no longer serve us.Being able to change your mind and make better decisions is a major key to adulting, so in this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of sunk cost fallacy and how to finally stop letting past investments dictate your future decisions. I dive into how this bias impacts your career, relationships, and mindset, and the powerful mental shifts you can make to start choosing based on alignment — not avoidance.Just because you’ve spent a long time making a mistake doesn’t mean you need to keep making it….  sometimes, cutting your losses can be an investment in your future self.Tune in for:🧠 The psychology behind why we stay stuck (loss aversion, identity, fear of failure, and more)💔 How sunk cost bias shows up in relationships, career, and big life decisions💸 How to know when to walk away vs when to stay committed💡 3 steps to challenging these thinking patterns and attuning to what you really want✏️ 4 powerful reflection questions to break free from sunk cost thinking✨ Why walking away isn’t quitting — it’s evolving and growingWhatever big decisions or questions you’re navigating, this episode will help you make smarter, more self-aware decisions so you can let go of what’s no longer working.For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. The economy is hella unstable right now, and with a recession still looming it can feel like no matter what we do, the cards are stacked against us. So we called financial expert Jessica Moorhouse back in for actionable advice for building wealth if you’re in debt or low income, recession-proofing your financial plan, and managing debt vs. savings vs. investments.Whether you're  struggling with debt or making $250K, this conversation will help you stop self-sabotage and make an actionable plan toward financial security.Jessica is a millennial money expert, speaker, Accredited Financial Counsellor Canada®, bestselling author of Everything but Money, host of the More Money Podcast, and a leading voice on personal finance and emotional literacy in financial wellness.Listen to our full episode with Jessica here.Check out Jessica's book, Everything but Money. Follow Jessica on Instagram, YouTube, and her website.Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

The older I get, the more I realize that so much of our stress, burnout, disconnectedness and anxiety can be a result of living out of alignment with our nature and temperament, and a key part of that nature is our tendency towards introversion or extroversion. In this episode, we’re breaking down what it really means to be an introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or omnivert, and how your personality type shapes your energy, relationships, career, and overall mental health.Whether you feel drained after social events, thrive in big groups, or swing between both worlds, this deep dive will help you understand your natural temperament, and how to honour it while still growing outside your comfort zone.Tune in to hear about: ✅ The science behind introversion vs extroversion (dopamine, arousal theory)✅ How to know if you’re an introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or omnivert... and why it's a scale✅ Myths about introverts (no, they’re not socially anxious or antisocial!) and extroverts (yes, they need downtime too!)✅ How introverts and extroverts can thrive in the workplace without burning out✅ Picking the right job and work environment for your temperament ✅ Dating & relationship tips for introverts vs extroverts — and how to make different energy needs work together✅ Self-care strategies: how introverts can recharge and how extroverts can avoid burnout✅ Creating a "restorative niche" for introverts to return to their true self ✅ Why extroverts crave novelty and shared experience✅ Why you don’t need to box yourself into one label, and how to expand your window of tolerance / “social stamina”If you’ve ever Googled things like “am I an introvert or extrovert,” “how to recharge as an introvert,” or “introvert vs extrovert relationships,” this one’s for you.For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed. Is your sex life thriving in your relationship? If you find that it's dwindling, fear not — we're back to myth-bust common ideas about desire, because most of the conflict couples have around sex can actually be explained by having different desire responses. Tune in as we throw it back to a deep dive on how to navigate different sex drives and desire types, and questions to ask if you're not having the sex you want in your relationship. Whether you’re dating, in a relationship, married, or ready to dabble, this is essential in helping you build a stronger sex life.Listen to the full episode here!Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Loneliness isn’t just in your head… it impacts your body, mood, longevity and emotional health. There’s real science behind why we crave connection, so in today’s episode, we dive into the concept of the “social biome” (your personal ecosystem of relationships and daily interactions) and how it can transform your wellbeing. Founded by researchers Dr. Jeffrey Hall and Dr. Andy Merolla, the social biome is a framework for strengthening relationships and cultivating a real sense of community in a culture that’s starved of real life connection.Whether you’re introverted, socially anxious, super busy, or just craving more genuine relationships, invest in your social fitness with these doable strategies to help you build your social biome and connections.Tune in to learn:Why connection is “social nutrition” and how to feed your social health every day.The Ladder of Connection framework to move from restorative solitude to strong, meaningful friendships.How small, low-stakes interactions (“weak ties”) boost your mood and help you feel less isolated.Using social media and technology as a way to connect rather than compare and consume.Practical tips to actually make friends as an adult, nurture existing bonds, and create a supportive community.For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. People don't quit jobs, they quit people — and if you've ever had a bad boss, you know how toxic a workplace can get. So we're throwing it back to this killer advice and helpful scripts from Emily The Recruiter on how to navigate the common kinds of bad bosses, from the controlling micro-manager to the perpetually angry power trips.  Emily Durham—aka Emily the Recruiter—is a career coach, content creator, and host of The Straight Shooter Recruiter Podcast. With millions of views across TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, Emily is known for her no-BS advice on how to land your dream job and deal with workplace dynamics like a boss.Listen to the full episode with Emily The Recruiter here.Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.Check out our first episode with Emily here.Listen to The Straight Shooter Recruiter podcast Follow Emily on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.  Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

“We’re taught how to fall in love, but not how to stay there.” So in today’s must-listen episode, I chat with renowned relationship repair expert Baya Voce, MSW, to learn the art of repair, and how to maintain love and connection through conflict.Arguments happen (they’re an important part of relationships and individuation!) — but they don’t have to break your bond. In this powerful episode, we dive into proven tools for transforming conflict into deeper connection, and Baya’s strategies for building better communication, boundaries, and emotional safety.If you’re in love, want love, or care about love, this is your roadmap for working towards interdependence, rebuilding trust, and creating love that lasts.With an MSW from Columbia University, Baya specializes in couples counselling and MDMA-assisted couples therapy research, and is supervised by the incredible Esther Perel!  Her work has been featured in a TED Talk, on Vice, Forbes, MTV, and ABC, and her videos on everything from boundaries, to using AI for therapy, to navigating jealousy, have been viewed by millions.Tune in as we explore:💞 The three stages of lasting relationships and why many couples get stuck in Stage 2🤝 Navigating the disillusionment phase 🗣️ Is there such thing as healthy vs. harmful conflict?🔄 Baya’s 4-step relationship repair framework to reconnect after a conflict🧠 What dysregulation looks like during conflict (and how to calm your nervous system)❤️ Rebuilding trust and emotional safety after a rupture✋ Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship🕵️ Curiosity as the antidote to blame and defensivenessResources & Links:Follow Baya on Instagram: @bayavoceBaya’s website: https://bayavoce.com/ Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. “If you’re going to manage anything, manage your time. Because that’s all you have.” — We’re throwing it back to this potent conversation with the master of goal-setting and planning, the force behind Passion Planner, Angel Trinidad.Because when September hits, I’m always confronted with a mini-New Year reset that makes me revisit my goals and how I’m spending my time. Our time is our greatest currency, and we can learn how to manage it with intention and clarity, so we can budget plenty of it for the good stuff. Angel also weighs in on how to overcome procrastination, and how to prioritize tasks that will actually move the needle in your life.Angel is the CEO and founder of Passion Planner, an all-in-one paper life coach, which has helped millions of people plan their goals and their lives. They have built a devoted global community of people who swear by their planners and journals.Listen to our full episode with Angel here.Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.Resources mentioned:Get started on Passion PlannerThe 4-Hour Work Week Follow Angel on InstagramFollow Passion Planner on Instagram Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Hi friends, welcome back to a new season of Teach Me How To Adult! I’m so excited to be back here with you, and for everything that’s in store for season 5. PS: If you like to watch your podcasts, make sure you're subscribed on Spotify and YouTube!September always brings those back-to-school, fresh-start vibes, so we’re kicking things off with a helpful research-backed goal-setting hack that can completely transform the way you follow through with your habits, routines, and goals.Implementation intentions — aka “if-then planning” — is a super effective (but seriously underrated) productivity and accountability strategy for building consistency, breaking all-or-nothing thinking, and making your goals actually stick.If you’ve been struggling to follow through with your goals and get back into a consistent post-summer routine, this episode is for you.Tune in to hear:- How to use “if-then” planning to stop procrastination and automate decisions- Why Harvard research proves implementation intentions improve goal success by up to 300%- Avoiding self-sabotage by planning for obstacles in advance- Why the ‘Fresh Start Effect’ makes September the right time to reset your habits + routines- The formula for “if-then” planning you can apply to your health/wellness, work, and creative goals For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube