The Suzanne Venker Show

Dr. Scott Haltzman, also known as “Dr. Scott,” is internationally recognized for his work on infidelity and in support of marriage. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Nightline, Good Morning America, The Rachel Ray Show, as well as a whole host of print media. It will surprise no one who listens to this podcast why I invited Scott on the program. His most recent book is The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity, and his other books include The Secrets of Happily Married Men, and The Secrets of Happily Married Women, and The Secrets of Happy Families. Need I say more? IN THIS EPISODE: 4:20  Men need to treat their relationship like their job. 8:50  Know your wife. This is critical to win your her heart 10:49  How to balance work and marriage 14:00  The thought process women go through when they get married vs. what the men feel like 15:50  Expect conflict and deal with it 18:45  Learn to listen. 22:00  Aim to please. 25:36  Understand the truth about sex. Typically, the biggest complaint for men is that their wives don’t want to have enough sex.  Therapists have done men a disservice by telling them that if men do more at home they'll get more sex. 27:55   Sex has become conditional, when it should just be a part of a marriage. 28:20  Your wife must feel like she's your priority 34:35  The secrets of happily married women: Men need to feel cared for, men need acknowledgement for their efforts, men have trouble verbalizing love and regret, men need to protect their families, men need to be right and in control, men need action, and men have undeniably strong attraction to females 37:00  The culture has made such a big deal about women caring for men. (Example: cooking for them, etc.) 39:00  Why men need acknowledgement for their efforts and how that affects them 41:00  Men have trouble verbalizing love and regret. 42:00  Trying to protect your family sometimes get perceived as “bullying” 43:20  Men need to be right and in control—it is instinctual 45:40  Men are instinctively attracted to women 49:10 How to “fight better” and the differences between men and women when it comes to fighting 50:30  Learn to talk less/the power of being quiet 53:40  Dr. Haltzman talks how to take charge of your own happiness and the myths surrounding what is a “happy” marriage 55:10  The 4 attributes of happy women: being surrounded by friends being physically active, being involved in life, and being open to spirituality 58:10  Don’t “do,” just breathe Sign up for marriage coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/   Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow    Subscribe to The Suzanne Venker Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-suzanne-venker-show/id1471433977    

Lauren Southern is an independent Canadian journalist, author and documentary filmmaker. She's currently completing the production of her third documentary film Crossfire which investigates the political power struggle between Black Lives Matter and police forces in America. In addition, Lauren has written a new children's book, Henry the Sheepdog, to help parents combat the propaganda their children are besieged with on a daily basis. Lauren's most important project to date, however, is being a mother and a wife to her wonderful family in Australia where she's situated now. IN THIS EPISODE: 5:00  Lauren tells the audience about her history and work spanning from social activism to her documentary making 9:00  Lauren discusses her upbringing and what made her brave enough to start publicly confronting liberal talking points 13:30 Lauren's viral video, “Why I’m Not Married” 18:00  Why millennials have trouble navigating relationships 22:00  Lauren's experience navigating motherhood, marriage, and career 25:00  Lauren and Suzanne discuss getting married young 29:30  Lauren's children’s book, “Henry the Sheepdog” 32:10   Suzanne and Lauren discuss raising countercultural parenting and how to teach kids to think critically 43:00  Why we need more conservatives in the arts 46:10   Lauren talks about her new documentary “Crossfire" Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow

Andre Paradis is back to talk with Suzanne about all things male and female!   IN THIS EPISODE:   8:50  What is gender intelligence?   11:30  If you want a healthy relationship with a man, you have to find out why he's compelled to say and do what he does  15:50  There has to be a balance between masculinity and femininity   17:40  Too many women confuse stepping into their femininity with “dumbing themselves down”   18:50  To be “feminine” is to be creative, experience life, be vulnerability, being magnetic, etc.   20:00 – A woman’s childhood has a lot to do with her rejection or acceptance of her femininity   22:22 – How a woman stepping into her femininity affects relationships   25:30 – Men are motivated and energized by the pressure to work and provide. It is the opposite for women   29:45 - For men, relaxing is recovering. When women take everything on they tend to go all day until they crash   32:20 – If women DO everything, men will let them do it   34:40 – Men and women are not equal as in the same. If you do not understand this, you will fail.   39:00 – It comes down to priorities between work and family. No one can do both. You have to make a choice   45:20 - Suzanne and Andres talk about resentment in marriage towards their husbands when it comes to women with their careers   48:30 - Women have to calibrate when to “produce” and when to “let go”   51:45 - Fighting nature is why many women are single or in unhappy relationships   54:00 - What makes a man show-up and stick around   Sign up for marriage coaching with Suzanne: https://www.suzannevenker.com/relationship-coaching/    Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow

Discover the four key stressors in marriage: money, parenting, in-laws, and religion. Learn how childhood financial backgrounds shape money mindsets and influence couple dynamics. Explore fresh perspectives on financial discussions that can unify partnerships. The importance of aligning parenting styles and work-family balance is emphasized. Gain insights into fostering harmony through shared values and clear boundaries, ensuring a stronger marital foundation amidst external pressures.

Need some support and validation for raising your kids counterculturally? If so, this is the podcast episode for you! My husband Bill and I are almost empty nesters, and every step of the way we took some sort of heat for parenting differently than the way other people did, beginning w our babies’ sleep schedules, to my staying home w them, to the television programs we'd let them watch, to limits on screen time, to not allowing underage drinking, to talking very openly about money and sex. It isn't easy to raise kids in a way that's different from the norm, nor is it always easy to set a good example for your kids. But it is absolutely, 100%, worth it. None of us can ensure our children will make good decisions once they leave the nest, but we can (and should) set them up well while we have them. IN THIS EPISODE: 6:50  Suzanne talks about her book “The Two-Income Trap,” why the early years of raising kids matter, and why “quality time” is a bogus idea 12:20  Building a bond with your children happens in the early years, which is why it is important to be home with them 15:25  Why a strict sleep schedule helps with disciplining children 18:15  Never treat your children as your “friend” and why that theme in modern parenting does NOT work 20:00  Kids crave to be safe and for the parents to be in control 21:15  Media is powerful. Watch what your kids take in. Raise your kids with entertainment that has substance, such as "old-school" TV with its timeless values, etc. 26:45  Use every opportunity to counteract social messaging in the media, movies, news and in school 31:25  Your kids do not have to travel all over the country to play sports **32:52 Why money and sex need to be discussed, including, teaching the differences between boys and girls. Of all the countercultural parenting strategies, this is most important.** **35:10  The trend is to raise boys and girls as though the are the same. There is no recognition for the fact that girls will eventually be the ones to have babies and boys will not—which means a woman's life trajectory will look very different from a man's** 40:20  Why talking to your kids about money, debt and finances is important and how this affects marriages/relationships in the long-term 42:25  You can go to college relatively debt-free by choosing a college you can afford. This message is not encouraged in the mainstream culture 45:40  It makes no sense to raise your daughters the same as boys 47:40  The more you raise your kids counter-culturally, the more successful they will be

According to the Natural Bureau of Economic Research, when wives earn more than their husbands the couple are 15% less likely to have a “very happy” marriage, 32% more likely to report marital troubles, and 46% more likely to report separating. Those are some big numbers. And there's a perfectly good reason for them, but you'd be hard pressed to find people who are willing to talk about those reasons since they fly in the face of cultural narratives. But that's what we're going to do today. IN THIS EPISODE: 2:00  Suzanne highlights studies from various publications about wives who earn more than their husbands 4:25  The media's response to the studies 5:45   The real reason why women earning more typically doesn't work 10:15  Women do not become emboldened by becoming breadwinners. They become resentful 13:30  Gender role reversal sets up a competitive relationship between husband and wife 13:40  There's a vast middle ground bw mothers working f/t and year-round and moving in and out of the workforce, working part-time, etc. 15:10  What happens when the roles are reversed 15:30  When the average father is the primary earner, he doesn’t typically use money as a means of control. When women earn more than men, they view their income as “theirs” 17:40  Suzanne reads from an article from a man who had struggles with his own wife regarding her high earning status and how their sex life was affected 20:25  Most women do not consciously choose the role of breadwinner 21:20  What is hypergamy? 22:50  The less traditional the marriage, the more problems Suzanne sees in her coaching 25:10  When a husband earns more than his wife, there's more natural sexual energy bw them. The sex and respect fall away when it's reversed Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow  **Get a personalized, signed copy of The Alpha Females Guide to Men and Marriage at the $20 Patreon Level!** (U.S. ONLY)

The birth control pill has facilitated a massive change in human sexual behavior. But the subsequent development of casual sexual relations in the form of “hookup culture” has enhanced, not equalized, biological sex differences. This is especially true when it comes to sexual strategy and levels of preference for emotional investment from partners. The significant influence of biology on everyday desires and emotions proves biology still holds important gravity when it comes to sex. Join Suzanne and the daughter of a friend of hers, Lily, who's a senior in college and an Anthropology major. Not one to shy away from difficult topics in the pursuit of truth, Lily has written a controversial senior thesis entitled The Pill: Implications for How a Medical Technology Changed the Meaning of Sex. The message? That women have, ironically, given up their sexual power by becoming sexually “liberated” and by believing that any differences we see between the sexes have no basis in biology. IN THIS EPISODE: 3:15  Suzanne reads from Lily’s senior thesis on birth control and sex differences 4:20  Lily talks about her experience in college with her research in anthropology, science, and biology 6:30  Why the birth control pill has disempowered women 9:10  When casual sex became normalized, and the pill gave women the ability to control their reproductive system, it in turn gave the illusion that men and women are “the same” sexually, which they are not 10:30  How dating has changed in light of the legalization of the pill 12:00  How the pill was the boiling point that changed sex and dating 12:42  Men have a different motivation  and strategy for sex than women 15:11  The risk of pregnancy kept people in line sexually. 15:50  3 likely explanations for the inequity in men and women despite the existence of the pill: Physical differences & sexual arousal Variation in sexual motivation Emotional differences between men and women after casual sex 16:55  Men are three times more likely to masturbate more than once a week and are more likely to reach orgasm during casual hookups 19:25  If women were the same as men, they would be at a disadvantage evolutionarily, men wouldn’t be as good of fathers. This is why the dating process exists. 24:07  Women and men both initiate casual hookups, but women have more negative reactions after the hookup. Most women are surprised to find they develop feelings 26:06  The variation in sexual motivators between men and women 35:20  The pill and sexual promiscuity has led to confusion 35:48  A change in culture does not mean that biology itself has changed 40:25  Suzanne and Lily discuss the “dating rules” and why they work 42:50 Why “making him wait” is the right dating strategy 53:20  Lily talks about dating in her generation 57:35  Why women tend to date older men 1:00:00  Have standards, and men will rise to meet them 1:05:00  Lily and Suzanne answer the Email of the Day Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow

Depression and anxiety take root in childhood, writes veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar. Parents who are concerned about their children’s mental health and emotional well-being need to know that early intervention and guidance is the way to prevent early symptoms in children from developing into long-term mental disorders. The way to avoid this? Be there. Not just physically but emotionally. Erica is a parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for 25 years. She’s the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, which is based on more than two decades of clinical work and breakthrough neurobiological research and challenges the pervasive myths of infant resiliency and the concept of women being able to ‘have it all.’ Erica's new book, which will be published in 2021, is about the equally significant value of being there for one's children in the teenage years. Erica's work teaches parents how to raise emotionally healthy children by being as present emotionally and physically as possible from infancy through adolescence. In this podcast episode, she and I discuss why this is vital to children's development and how those whose mothers were not emotionally available can break the cycle. IN THIS EPISODE: 5:00  What devaluing mothering does to children in the short- and long-term, especially when it comes to children learning how to regulate their emotions 7:30  Erica talks about how skin to skin contact regulates a baby’s emotions and regulates their stress. She discusses how we expose them to too much stress now because of our lifestyle. ex. going to work , daycare, etc. 8:55  Suzanne talks about the vast priority shift that happens when you become a mother vs. when you are in the working world without children 14:20 Erica and Suzanne talk about how important it is to be on the same page with your spouse about family, motherhood and if you (the woman) will stay home 15:20 Suzanne and Erica talk about “guilt” and how it impacts women and why it's different for men 18:40 Erica explains the “boredom” of early motherhood, what that means, how for many it's related to postpartum depression 21:30  Quality time vs. quantity time and moment to moment nurturing 24:00  Erica talks about how fragile emotionally and neurologically babies are and how different our lives and our family’s lives would be if we as a culture understood that 24:50  Erica talks about her new book, coming out next year, and about being an emotionally available parent in adolescence 28:40  What IS an emotionally unavailable mother? 32:10  Erica explains attachment disorders and how babies create “strategies” to emotionally unavailable mother 33:40  Suzanne and Erica discuss how parents today are distracted, preoccupied with themselves and not present 35:25  The alcoholic mother and how alcoholism is a symptom of depression 37:00  Suzanne talks about different forms of depression, including post-divorce depression 40:00  Abandonment issues from childhood stays with you and carries over into your other relationships 43:15  The “absentee mother” 45:15  Erica talks about her counseling practice and what she has seen during COVID-19 49:40 What makes a “good” mother? Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow

Dr. Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist, and author of seven books on men’s and women’s issues. He was chosen by The Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders, and his books have been published in more than 50 countries, and in 19 languages. Warren’s most recent book, The Boy Crisis, was published with John Gray (who we had on a few weeks ago!) and was a finalist for the Indie book publishing award. His other books include The New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, plus the international best seller, The Myth of Male Power. Some of Warren’s other books include Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say and Why Men Earn More. When he’s not touring the country discussing the problems facing our boys and men, Warren runs couples’ workshops, where he specializes in helping people receive criticism from their partner without becoming defensive.  IN THIS EPISODE:  4:00  Warren talks about his background with the National Organization of Women 11:34  Female victim power destroyed the women's movement  13:45  Warren talks about HR departments and their bias and why male CEOs are reticent to mentor women because of the risk of losing their jobs  16:20  Male privilege and the myth of male power  21:45  Real power is being "happy"  25:00  Warren explains that his father told him that being a man is not doing what you want to do but what you have to do and what is best to do  27:00  Warren talks about how his change in viewpoint and The Myth of Male Power caused him to lose speaking engagements  32:45  The real liberation of women came from technology and the birth control pill not from “feminism”  37:24  The reality of gender pay gap  38:55  The feminist movement is so toxic it no longer thanks men for anything or acknowledges that men and women are different  40:28  Warren talks how he could no longer teach at any major University because of his public views, and how liberals are no longer the party of free speech  43:00  Warren talks about his couples communication courses and how “The Boy Crisis” came from his experience with divorced couples  49:40  Warren talks about his views on Black Lives Matter and the African American community, mass shootings and how fathers are integral in boys lives  52:25  Warren describes the “Boy Crisis”  58:45  How dads being away from the family too much to earn money is detrimental to the children  1:00:00  Your attitude at work is not the same attitude that makes you successful in love  1:04:50  Women have a harder time “turning off” work mode  1:05:45  Love's biggest depleters: complaining, criticizing, controlling, and complacency  Sign up for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching  Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow

What do women find attractive in a man? Why are millennial men at such a disadvantage when it comes to marriages and relationships today? How can men rebuild themselves after a divorce? These are just some of the questions author Michael J. Durkin will answer today. Durkin is an author, speaker and self-described maniac committed to the strengthening of men, women, families and the planet. He is the author of 8 business books and has spoken in front of audiences as few as 6 and as large as 26,000! He is the creator of the Men of Honor Podcast, which strives to help men become better fathers, husbands, sons, boyfriends, and community leaders. Michael weaves his own wisdom and personal experiences into his teachings on marriage, business success, parenting, fitness and masculinity. He is passionate about keeping families together, making marriages joyful, and giving children a place to grow and learn. He is also fan of putting the hot, seductive, alluring SEX back into marriages where it belongs. Michael has survived and re-built his life after a devastating divorce. He is married to a woman he dubs The Beautiful Bonnie, and they live happily tucked away in the woods of Northwestern CT. IN THIS EPISODE: 6:40  What women find attractive in men 8:45  Nagging 10:00  How men have listened to a narrative that tells them they need to be soft and are not supposed to be “doers” and men became confused 10:55  Why men “showing up” in their marriages causes their relationships to change 12:26  Every problem a man has with communication, arguments and sex has to do with them 13:43   Suzanne and Michael discuss millennial men 16:14  Michael explains what he thinks he did to cause his own marriage to end 17: 45  How men “jump through hoops” to please their wives 19:20  Since the sexual revolution, men have been taught through every movie and song that they need to be sensitive and emotional and how this has destroyed men and relationships 24:00  Men need to be with other men and women need to be with other women 26:30  A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect ** 27:55  Millennial women think they need to be able to tell their husbands everything and that their husbands should be their best girlfriend 32:35  Suzanne and Michael discuss why women “test” men 37:10** The “trifecta of chaos” and why men in today’s society need to become solid 39:40  The 3 ways men can rebuild themselves after divorce 48:38  Why sex often dies with marriage 54:25  Why “hard attracts soft” and how opposites complement each other 57:55  Suzanne discusses her coaching practice and how women have a hard time learning to “receive" *FALL COACHING SPECIAL* Use code "fall2020" for 15% off Premarital/Newly Married 4-Session Coaching Package with Suzanne. Go to: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching Support Suzanne on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thesuzannevenkershow