Date Your Wife

Communication is the topic in this week's Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: Activate the Gremlin Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle's system. Garrett: A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention: "You know, Danielle is like a gremlin - cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And then you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train like I have never before seen her. Her gremlin was activated!" QUESTION: What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?   Point #2: Characters and Roles Garrett: I've realized that we as human beings have lots of characters and we play different roles. If you look at this from an acting perspective, you take on different roles and play different characters. Inside of a marriage relationship, there are a lot of roles that we are required to create and master. Danielle: In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As a woman, I have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat. QUESTION: What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage?   Point #3: Growing at Different Speeds Danielle: When we lost everything and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him to just figure it out. He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn't want to, he felt I wasn't growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but rather work on me and stay in my own lane. Garrett: We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate and you’re both in two totally diffident places, it can be very difficult. QUESTION: How do you handle growing at different speeds in your marriage?   Point #4: Choice vs Force Garrett: I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me, choosing the path that I wanted, and inviting Danielle to come along with me. I told her this is where I'm going, I would like you to come with me, but if you don't want to come that’s okay - I’m still going to go. The more I took that stand, the better our relationship became inside of our communication. Danielle: It's because it became about me getting to choose and not feeling like you were forcing me or dragging me. For me, that actually feels better.  If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say "by the way, you’re broken and you should probably come with me and get fixed." That's kind of like how it comes across. QUESTION: Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships?   Point #5: The Control Factor Garrett: I'll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is one where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must be submitted at times. Danielle: In order to ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting we realize we’re both on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation. QUESTION: How do you handle collision in your relationship? Communication Challenge: How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage? Date Night Topic: What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth? Quote of the Week: "When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture." --Garrett J White "Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone." --Danielle K White

In this week's Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies - as well as possible solutions - as they reveal real-life challenges. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING Point #1: Permission to Pursue Your Passion Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I've tried to create a balance between all of the hats I'm wearing. One day the Voice said to me, "You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair]." I've discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children. Garrett: There tends to be a war within women - women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it’s not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children. QUESTION: As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family? Point #2: If-Then Scenario When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Danielle replied: I don’t know. I know I'm a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I’m fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they’re going to say “I want to be like my mom.” Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn’t working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she’s a better mother because she’s a better producer. But this doesn't mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default. QUESTION: Do you believe you're a better mom because you do or  because you do not work outside of the home? Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there’s a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it’s not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground. Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, "Garrett, they’re girls. Don’t yell at them like that!" When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I’m pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid - and I can’t get reel them back in no matter what I say - I know I need to give them space. QUESTION: What are your parenting stratetgies?   Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don’t ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell’s gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns. Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. "Danielle’s picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife’s got war paint on her face, she's wielding a sword and a shield, and I’m yelling, “Woman, we're going to the front line!” I start running and when I look back, she’s squatting and peeing on my parenting plan." QUESTION: How are you relating to Danielle's and Garrett's differences in parenting strategies? Point #5: Walk and Talk Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here’s the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I’d be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she's also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning. We've implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I've also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human. QUESTION: Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them? Communication Challenge: What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother. Quote of the Week: "For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I’ve also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness." --Garrett J White "I’m kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you’re passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me." --Danielle K White

You’re in for a real treat in this week’s episode of Date Your Wife where the conversation is all about the highly anticipated Warrior Week for Women coming in August 2018. This is the first time in seven years that they’re bringing forth the message of the Warrior’s Way directly to women and for women, with Danielle as one of the lead trainers. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Accessing Power In 2012, I launched Wake Up Warrior to men. It was based on an idea that power itself could be ultimately generated and created inside of a man like me. Over the last 6 1/2 years, it has risen from a concept to a movement that is now blanketing the world in twenty-seven countries, with tens of thousands of men partaking inside of a belief system found inside the book, WarriorBook. This is the first time I will be speaking directly to women on the topic of living the Warrior’s Way and accessing the power that we, as men, have been accessing for six years. Over the years, emails from women have been pouring in from around the globe requesting and searching for the same power that they have seen being taught to men, wanting it for themselves. QUESTION: How and when did you first hear about Wake Up Warrior? Point #2: Uncover Your Divine Nature and Power This isn’t going to be about carrying logs or physical beatdowns; you’re not going to be outside on the trails, and you’re not going to fight each other. It’s not some ethereal meditation retreat, nor is it about being led down a path of possibility and vision boards. This is a path of true, practical, pragmatic power, and it will be customized with my wife by my side, as well as the women who have stood at the core of this movement with their husbands, to lead and guide you down the path of uncovering the divine nature and power of who you truly are. QUESTION: What about this speaks to your soul? Point #3: Proven Science and Doctrine This is an invitation for you to step into the first inaugural no-guarantees-that-we-will-ever-do-it-again Warrior Week for Women. We do this because it has been requested from the women who want to be able to understand the power their husband is learning, experiencing, and expressing, and for single women who are simply wanting to find the power inside of themselves to stand. Coming to this experience is not about him, it’s about you. The science we have developed may not have been directed at women in the beginning, but has indirectly blessed the lives of countless thousands. We’ve been testing this doctrine and science in a small way for 1 1/2 years inside my hair salons to see if it would impact the lives of these women the way it had the men – and the answer was, yes! QUESTION: Ladies, where in your life would you like to experience more power and certainty? Point #4: Noxious Weeds and Chaos It’s time to peel it back, it’s time to take a stand for you and with you. It’s time for Wake Up Warrior to put a flag in the ground inside of the marketplace and to take for the very first time, the curriculum, science, art, and the process of the awakening of and becoming a woman – from the science we’ve proven and tested in far harder ground, with more rocks and more noxious weeds and more chaos with the men, so that it would be ready for you. I invite you to step inside the journey of power with me and to experience what is really about starting a movement preparing for 2019 as Wake Up Warrior begins to take this science and belief system, not directly just to men, but directly to women, just like you. QUESTION: What would be possible for you if you accept this invitation? Point #5: Is It Your Time? You have an opportunity to be part of the group of the first women, the women who get to experience this raw and on fire with myself, the trainers and support coaches, who are going to be part of this integrated experience that we have never done before. I don’t need you to do this, but your family and your life will want you to. If you know it’s your time – time to take a step in a direction that is ultimately possibly the first time about serving you, and about giving you purpose, power, and possibility – click warriorwomennow.com, and I’ll see you in Laguna in August 2018 with my elite team of trainers at the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women. QUESTION: Are you ready to step into the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women? Communication Challenge: Gentlemen, at the conclusion of the podcast, have a converation with your Queen about Warrior Week for Women and how you can support her in this journey. Date Night Topic: What would be possible for your family to begin living the Warrior’s Way together? Quote of the Week: “At Warrior Wealth for women, we’re going to train you not just on the concepts of power, but on the art and science of production. You deserve and must demand inside of yourself the capacity to be a high-level producer.” —Garrett J White “We’re excited to see how this is going to affect the balance in your life between being a mom, a business owner, a wife, and being in a relationship; of creating more in your life, creating that space you desire, and more importantly, creating purpose beyond kids and work.” —Danielle K White

Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast where professionals Garrett J and Daniel K White, who happen to make babies together, take on the topic of Money in this week’s episode. One of the more interesting gems discovered in today's conversation is Garrett's confession to having pierced his nipples while attending college, arguably one of the worst decisions he has ever made.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....MONEY Point #1: Sword and Shield Garrett: Danielle doesn't collide well with people, and since I do, one of the things we rely on inside of our marriage when it comes to money is that I’m the guy out in front with the shield and sword. I'm the guy that goes to war. I’m the guy that collides with everyone inside of the topic of money. I remember the days when I would put Danielle out front to be the shield and would yell at her that it was her job to pay the bills because I was too busy. I would ask her why I felt like I was married to a man and she said it's because I had put her in man shoes. This, of course,  had a huge impact on our sex life. QUESTION: In your marriage, who is out in front going to war? Point #2: Illusion Garrett: Danielle looks like she’s a very orderly person when she’s with me because I’m a hurricane. She's very clean but isn't good at cleaning. Open any drawer in our house and Danielle admits it's a scary shit show. Danielle: We compliment each other very well when it comes to our strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to numbers, I tend to shut down a little bit and get overwhelmed, and only want to be told numbers on a need to know basis QUESTION: How do the two of you compliment one another? Point #3: Let Go and Let Him Lead Danielle: I don’t know what's going on with the bills, and I trust that Garrett has that taken care of. In the past, I wanted control over what I was making only because when shit was going south in our marriage, that was my safety net and escape plan. Garrett: Being able to give your man a position to lead is vital.  A common complaint from powerful women is that their man is not leading. My response? Quit cutting off his balls. If you want him to act like a king with the vaults and the money, then you’re going to have to actually show up in a way that gives him space to do that. QUESTION: Ladies, are you cutting off your husband's balls? Point #4: Growth Yields Abundance Garrett: While I was using you as a shield, you were part of the key game of triggering me to want more. I think I would have settled for way less than what we currently have, but you exposed me to a place of possibility of a life being married to you other than how I was raised. Danielle: At the end of the day, significance only gets people so far. By pushing Garrett to grow, we have become better people. We've tapped into a different network of people and we've been able to impact more people’s lives directly by putting a dollar figure behind it. QUESTION: Where in your relationship have the two of you settled?   Point #5: Push and Lead Garrett: You drove me to care more about money in the sense of getting economically compensated for what I do, and to keep pushing that. I then I took it upon myself to create profitable businesses and a lifestyle that was financially prosperous, and a legacy that would matter economically. That's the gift I got from Danielle. Danielle: Lead by example rather than dragging your spouse with you. If they don’t see that shift and if they don’t want to be the better version of themselves, then you might cross paths. At one point, our circumstances caused me to push myself out there with an attitude of wanting to produce more, and in the process became a better artist and person. QUESTION: How do you push your spouse to become a better version of themselves? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about the man being out in front leading, guiding, and protecting his family. What would it take for you two to pull this off? What changes would have to take place?  Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, share with each other the ways you compliment one another. Quote of the Week: "When I took the shield back and started paying the bills, I started producing and began to double down, focusing on myself and making sure I was on point as a producer. When I did this, this magical thing came back. Danielle became more attracted to me and we began having more sex." --Garrett J White "We see it all the time where couples come inside both of our businesses trying to get each of their spouses on board. It seems there’s always going to be one more driven than the other. I’ve always thought of Garrett as being the one more driven, but once I gave myself permission, I discovered that I'm actually very driven and super passionate." --Danielle K White

Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life - Danielle K and Garrett J White - who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the White's break down all barriers and bare all in this week's enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....SEX Point #1: Ass Cheeks 'n Thongs Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she's wearing a thong and has a tiny bum - even I noticed. It's when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass. Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife. QUESTION: How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner?   Point #2: Sexual Triggers Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it's all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, 'oh he’s cute,' but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you're so horny. Garrett: As guys, we have a very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered. QUESTION: What triggers you sexually?   Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn't about that. She eventually had a boudoir photo shoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being. "When I'm learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit." QUESTION: What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship?   Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he's not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason - if physical intimacy is not happening - his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem. Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home - the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out. QUESTION: Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband?   Point #5: Road to Nowhere With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy. Garrett: "Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle." QUESTION: Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship? Communication Challenge: Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship? Date Night Topic: Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix. Quote of the Week: "Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle." --Garrett J White "Take the time to connect. Even if you're working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you're willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress." --Danielle K White

Being married is hard. In fact, it can be a complete fuckin shit show and amazing all at the same time. While most marriages end up in complete sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have a commitment to create something a little bit better than that, a little more fun. Join them in this week's podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all important topic of communication. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATON Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together...and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date, like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom tailored design jackets. QUESTION: When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel? Point #2: Sugar 'n Spice Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I'm talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations - it's everything. Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage and we collide a lot with our personalities - both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice for me is "I fucking hate you" which turns into "I fucking love you." QUESTION: How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy? Point #3: Love Notes Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s way, part of something called the Core 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he's having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language. QUESTION: What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes? Point #4: Give and Take Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that. QUESTION: Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them? Point #5: Dance With Me Garrett: As you can tell, we're still working on this, which is the ability to actually communicate with and understand the language of our partner. Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: appreciate the language they receive in, and learn that we give the language that the people we're married to want to receive. QUESTION: What does your daily dance of communication look like? Communication Challenge: Danielle: Garrett needs to be told "I love you" but my communication is different. Is your communication verbal or silent? Is one wrong and one right? Date Night Topic: For women, what is your husband’s love language and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife? Quote of the Week: "I'm essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning." --Garrett J White "We’ll argue about a topic and one of us has to eventually reach over to the other side and reciprocate. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home." --Danielle K White

Today we’re going to share with you an intense, potent and powerful interview with Danielle from the Warrior Empire event in December 2016. It was the first time Danielle took to the stage where she talked about what it's like to be a woman married to a man living the Warrior’s Way. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: When a Wife Fights the Change Her Husband Wants to Make In the beginning, Danielle was completely against how Garrett was showing up. He was going to self help seminars and making her feel guilty for not going with him. He continued challenging her, which caused her to reevaluate who she was and who she wanted to become. Danielle: Put yourself in your wife's shoes. If she started implementing change, how would you react? People in general don’t like change because it’s scary. From a wife’s perspective, you can’t overwhelm her, but rather lead by example in the same way you would lead children. QUESTION: Gentlemen, what is the way you initiate growth and change in your partner? Point #2: Choosing In There was a point in time when Danielle had to choose to be all in for herself and for their marriage. Garrett was moving in the direction he was going and he was committed over time to a certain path, while at the same time they were both trying to recover from chaos as a couple. Danielle: I felt that both of us were fighting and neither of us was ready to give up. We were both not necessarily choosing in, but we weren’t out and were still very much connected. All it takes is that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild. QUESTION: How can you "choose in" to your marriage everyday to keep the flame burning or to rekindle a fading flame? Point #3: Sex and Marriage Danielle: It’s give and take. You have to play the role a little bit and let go of your ego. In order to build that sexual chemistry that seems to leave after you get married, think about the feeling you had when you were dating and do what you did back then: You got your car washed, you got a new pair of shoes, you planned the date, you were flirty. How did sex therapy help us? I felt like I could say what I was thinking without worrying about upsetting Garrett. Having a therapist is like having a sounding board where it’s immediately less triggering for both sides, although Garrett got triggered to the point where during a session he jumped up and did pushups because he was so pissed. QUESTION: What do you do to keep the sexual chemistry strong in your relationship? Point #4: Collision Danielle: Whether the wife works or not, when couples grow, the wife goes into this “I can do everything” mode where it seems kind of masculine. It's actually more cold and calculated where we don't come across as very feminine, but instead we're in focus mode trying to get shit done. Garrett: Gentlemen, the more you encourage your wife  to change, the more she will rise in power, and the more collisions are going to take place. As Danielle has risen in power as a creator and a producer, her masculinity has also risen, so there’s this collision that exists inside of her. Sometimes the collision we experience is not as lovers or as a couple, but instead as two masculine energies colliding. QUESTION: What happens when you collide with your spouse? Point #5: Living the Warrior's Way Danielle: I’m addicted to the high of growing where it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. Progressing as a person is now a high for me. How can I stay where I am when the sky’s the limit? Where things were once scary and chaotic in our life and relationship, we’re now in a much healthier space.  I look at where we are now and the only thing I feel is gratitude, humility and excitement. If this has happened in the last five years, what’s going to happen in the next five years? I get glimpses of the future sometimes and I'm like, "Oh shit, that's so cool!" QUESTION: How have you and your spouse changed as a direct result of living the Warrior's Way? Communication Challenge: Take some time to have a conversation around this idea of collision. How can you use this tool to better serve your relationship? Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, take a trip down memory lane and talk about what you both used to do in the early days of your dating and start implementing those things to rekindle and ignite the flame of sexual chemistry between you. Quote of the Week: "Once men experience Warrior, they become more invested in their children, which produces a new kind of chaos while they figure out how to balance this with their role as a husband, and as a hunter and provider." --Garrett J White "No matter who you’re with, you’re going to have problems. With Garrett and I, it made more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground." --Danielle K White  

In this week's episode about Parenting, Garrett and Danielle engage in a lively conversation about the work that is required as a man to actually stay connected to his children, why sometimes as a man the only reason why you’re actually spending time with your children is because you think you’re getting points with your wife that will ultimately lead to sex, and how creating space and loving yourself are two of the ultimate gifts you can give to your children. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING Point #1: Ulterior Motives There are some twisted reasons why guys want to spend time with their children. I used to spend time with my kids because I thought I was earning points with Danielle which would ultimately end up with me getting laid. What I wanted to do was to spend time with my children but had gotten stuck in the very interesting place where I was trying to find an entry point into connection. The vast majority of my married life was in pursuit of getting laid. QUESTION: Where in your relationship do have ulterior motives for the things you do? Point #2: Creating Space Garrett: As a businessman, it's crucial to give myself permission to create space for me beyond my business, beyond my beautiful wife and beyond my amazing children. If you don’t give yourself this space, you’re going to find yourself getting exhausted and fatigued. Surfing has given me the time that I get to be with myself, and in that place I become a better father and a better husband. Danielle: You have to be careful with your hobbies and interests because when they become too much of an obsession, it can actually take away time from your kids and family. It's easy to get obsessed over something and then you have to try to figure out how to find a balance with it and not let it overly consume you. QUESTION: What do you do to create space for yourself? Point #3: Parker I have a son who is 19 years old and has been living with us for the past six weeks. It’s the first time since he was six months old that he has chosen to live with his father, and the first time since forever that he has decided to call me dad. It was ultimately Wake Up Warrior that brought my son back into my life. Danielle:What you thought was lost because you didn't raise him is coming full circle. The timing plays a big roll in how things work out and it's happening how it should. Garrett: The timing with Parker being here inside of my world at this time is perfect. There’s a lot of things that had to happen for this to play out and I’m very happy and excited about it. QUESTION: Where in your life is perfect timing showing up in a way you never expected? Point #4: Boobs and Tattoos When Danielle was 18, she had breast augmentation and always felt they were too big for her tiny frame.  After her recent miscarriage, she decided to have them replaced despite the huge mommy guilt and fear she was experiencing , and despite the fact that Garrett was a little worried about her breasts getting smaller. When it was all said and done, she felt so happy and she wondered why she had waited so long do to it. Garrett: You wanted to do the boob job and it was something that you felt like you needed to do. I wanted this tattoo on my arm but you were against it. Inside of both of these moves it has given us something as individuals and parents that we can actually give back to our children. QUESTION: What have each of you done in your relationship that the other hasn't been too thrilled about at the time, but in the end you have accepted as part of what makes the other happy? Point #5: Love Yourself What does God ultimately want? Love thy neighbor as thyself: love your wife as you love yourself, love your children as you love yourself. If you hate yourself, it is actually impossible to love your wife or to love your children. If you hate yourself, what you will offer up is a manipulative bullshit motivational game of love to your children. I have learned to appreciate the fact that I am a complete fuck up and at the same time, I’m completely fantastic. When I come to accept all the vastness of who I am, inside of that I’m given this permission slip to experience it with my children and my wife.. QUESTION: What's stopping you from fully loving and accepting yourself? Communication Challenge: Bring up the conversation with your family the importance of loving yourself in order to more fully love others. Date Night Topic: What are you going to do this week in creating space for yourself beyond your partner and your children so that you have the ability to actually be a very present parent and partner? Quote of the Week: "Most of what has changed within our relationship is a deep appreciation and understanding for who I am, and inside of understanding that truth, being willing to do things for me because I want to do them for me - not because I need Danielle’s permission, not because I want Danielle to like it, but because I know that inside of doing it, it's going to be something I feel I need to do." --Garrett J White "Respect yourself and you’ll respect others. Respect your children and they will respect you. Respect people you are around and work with, they will respect you. Just be fuckin nice. There’s a lot to be learned in being nice and liking yourself, taking time for yourself, taking time for others and creating balance in your life." --Danielle K White  

Welcome to Date Night with the White’s here on the Date Your Wife podcast. Today's conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce  When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, theres a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. Generally, women want to be taken care of. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he's the one producing. QUESTION: Does this ring true for you as a couple? Point #2: Be Comfortable Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. It allows you to do so much shit as a couple or it constrains you to do so much shit as a couple. We have friends who celebrate their success and use it as tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they're broke. Danielle:There was a period of about five years where we were experiencing rapid growth and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I've come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone  - it's just a matter of me being comfortable with me. QUESTION: Are you living in a scarcity mindset while being surrounded by your wealth? Point #3: You Must Leap In 2009 after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance and something in my soul said "you must fucking leap." Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett  for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew what he was capable of doing and becoming so much more. QUES5ION: Where in your life have you settled? Point #4: Don't Settle Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. My wife helped me see that being driven by the money is not about being driven by the money. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man. Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there’s consequences; but if I just stay in the safe zone then I can just ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it. QUESTION: Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith? Point #5: Team Work Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way. QUESTION: What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other's growth? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation as a couple and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off? Date Night Topic: Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life. Quote of the Week: "The reason why money matters and the reason why business matters - the reason why continuing to grow and expand matters -  is because as you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man. I’m not the same human being I was a year ago. My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that we use money production as a way to accelerate that. --Garrett J White   "Be you at every level." --Danielle K White  

The White’s juggle children, sandwiches and grocery lists in the opening of today’s podcast, demonstrating yet again that they are keeping things real and raw. Between the flirting, bantering, sexual innuendos and Danielle revealing what she really thinks about penises, it’s no wonder their’s is the only explicitly rated podcast in the category of Parenting and Family, as they are willing to take things where others are not. Sit back and enjoy today’s conversation on the topic of Sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....SEX Point #1: Lazy Sex Danielle: It’s not like I don’t want to put in the effort, but I don’t  always want to put in the effort. On my laziest days I don't just lay there and do nothing, but there are ways to service your man without getting really into it. Garrett: Does this mean that women are sexually lazy? Servicing your man is important, regardless of what the servicing looks like. A lot of women don't get this. QUESTION: When you have sex, even quickie sex, do you experience connection or is it more like vaginal masturbation? Point #2: Tips For Traveling Garrett: When men are traveling, it doesn’t matter for 2 days or 2 weeks, they experience an increased drive sexually. It happens even if it’s just overnight. There is an increased spike of being gone from their wife in which sexual desire increases. When guys are gone for a bunch of days it is very easy for them to end up in the trap of porn. This is a very big issue for guys. Danielle: If your guy is traveling, I think it’s a good idea to have sex the night before they go. Ladies, just get it done. Little things like that will make your relationship better and when he goes out of town he’s going to be more focused. I learned the hard way. It’s not that big a deal and it’s actually a win win where we both are getting what we want. QUESTION: What are the results when you follow this formula? What are the results when you don't? Point #3: Pouty Mode Garrett went into pouty mode for 10 years because he felt so out of control inside of their relationship when it came to sex. He felt that Danielle held all of the cards and that she didn't give a shit. Danielle: I found that pouty mode super unattractive. As Garrett shifted his energy, it gave me room to breathe. He just stopped asking and didn’t bring so much pouty energy to the table.  That's when I started changing my story about Quickies and QQP was born.. QUESTION: What energy is present when pouty mode enters the picture in your relationship? Point #4: Women Are Like Crockpots Garrett: You tell me to warm you up first and then worry about myself. What does that look like? You have guys who don’t worry about their wife at all and worry about their own orgasm, then you have guys who are worried about their wife’s orgasm - there’s even a book called, "She Comes First." Danielle: I don’t agree with that and I’m going to tell you why from a girl’s perspective. Warm her up first and then worry about yourself. I like to be warmed up, but if I go first, I’m less into you. It's a song and dance, really. We're both at the finish line: if I go first and you come right after me, it's like we cross the finish line together. QUESTION: What does your dance look like? Point #5: Hobbies Bring Fulfillment Garrett got to the point where he began relying on his masturbation toy and started drinking more. He went into a place of suppression where he literally didn’t give a shit. At Danielle's suggestion, he took up surfing, which has been an exceptionally good fit for him Danielle: I suggested he take up surfing because I felt it would be something that he would enjoy. He comes back happy and full of this great energy, plus it gives me more space. He has a mistress called surfing and I'm fine with that mistress. QUESTION: What hobbies do you both enjoy that add positive energy and breathing space inside of your relationship? Communication Challenge:  Talk about the ways you like being serviced by your spouse - and then go experiment. Date Night Topic: Begin the conversation around this idea of "Warm her up, worry about you." What does that look like inside of your marriage? Quote of the Week: "When you are both on point together and he goes on a trip, this simple strategy of having Date Night and sex the night before you go - whether you’re fighting or angry or not - if you do this, life is going to be better. Your man’s going to go hunt more powerfully, which means that when he’s gone he’s going to be more productive in business; he’s not going to go to porn because he’s going to feel connected to you while he’s gone." --Garrett J White "If it has been awhile since you have seen him and he comes back into town, just get it out of the way. I used to be standoffish and we would end up getting into fights. My advice is just get it off the table and out of the way. It doesn’t have to be a big show, just do it. He will become like putty in your hands." --Danielle K White