Date Your Wife

In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett get down to the nitty-gritty details of the behaviors, patterns, and stories both men and women exhibit and live in when it comes to the topic of money. The White’s speak boldly and honestly about their experiences as a married couple inside the Game of Money – where men are typically driven by sex, and women by security – and share what they did that led them out of the throes of divorce and into a thriving and expanding relationship. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast…. MONEY Point #1: Safety, Security, and Sex Garrett: We’re discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there’s this cross-over game specifically on the topic of money where a woman wants a man to produce, and yet inside of that, one of the challenges that happens is that the woman continues to cut the balls off the man as a Producer. Danielle: Money creates safety and security for a woman, even if you’re a powerful woman. I’m a very independent person and have always been one to want to take care of myself. Inside of that, I also want to be taken care of. So it’s like this double-edged sword. In the end, we want to be taken care of but we can’t expect to be taken care of we keep fighting for the throne. It’s a balancing game and surrender on both ends. QUESTION How does this ring true in your relationship? Point #2: No Money, No Trust Danielle: At one point, Garrett wasn’t producing, so I decided to put on the man hat and figure it out on my own. When everything got stripped from us, I wasn’t feeling connected to Garrett. I didn’t know if I really wanted to be married, especially since we didn’t have any money. It wasn’t like I was trying to cut Garrett’s balls off; from a female perspective, I was just trying to survive. “You were the provider, you stripped that, so fuck you, you’ve lost my trust.” Garrett: We’re sitting in this situation where I’ve built something and then I’ve lost it. I’ve also lost the trust of my wife. As I’m climbing out of the Pit to create financial results again, what I didn’t expect to happen was to be tested by the queen over and over and over. I would speak to the possibility of what I was going to go do and then not do it. She didn’t respond with something like “Oh hon, you’re amazing.” There was no cheerleading, “Hey you got this.” Danielle was scorned and had no trust in me. QUESTION When trust has been lost in your marriage, how do you both regain it? Point #3: Preparing for War Garrett: I struggled with this. I interpreted everything she was saying and doing as “She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t support me.” Add to that, our sex life goes to hell in a hen basket. Not only do I have some blue balls going on, now I have bloody blue balls, and I’m having to protect my balls from being cut off every single day. I didn’t know how to deal with this. What I didn’t know and understand was that she was actually preparing me to go back to war, to go back outside the wall of the destroyed kingdom to rebuild and repair our lives, to pay the bills, to build us out of scarcity and into abundance, and to create. QUESTION Gentlemen, describe how your wife has been preparing you to go back to war. Point #4: Balls of Steel Garrett: When I finally mastered the game of being able to go into collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money, there was a shift that took place. I got to this point where my balls became as steel. “Woman, go ahead and hack at those balls because all you’ll do is break your knife.” At that point, life started to shift and Danielle started to trust. Danielle: I felt like Garrett was taking back the throne. Part of me was resistant, and a part of me was thinking “it’s about fucking time.” When I started to see that happen, I began backing down and decided I was going to stay in my own lane. There were two years where we just stayed in our own lanes; we weren’t at war anymore, and the trust was building on both sides. QUESTION What does collision look like in your marriage? Point #5: Daggers and Triggers Garrett: Gentlemen, stop interpreting your wife’s “criticism” as an attack. Stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and the monster who is attacking you. You have to find a new decision and a new path that says, “Listen, my wife is not attacking me, my wife is triggering me to grow. Danielle: A lot of times, I felt like I was throwing daggers at Garrett. I wasn’t trying to trigger him, I wanted him to the be the man I knew he could be. But I couldn’t say that, so it became a song and a dance for us to figure out how to communicate with each other.  QUESTION What does your song and dance look like? Communication Challenge: Have a candid conversation around the premise that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. How has this affected your individual behavior as well as your overall relationship?   Date Night Topic: Gratitude: As you go on your date this week, share three things about your spouse or partner that you are grateful for. Quote of the Week: “This has nothing to do with your wife not being a producer. My wife is an ultra producer and out-produces most men I know. Inside of that place, we each have clear roles and responsibilities as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of being a couple. My responsibility is the King, and hers is not that role.” —Garrett J White “When women ask me how we did this, it’s like they’re wanting a checklist. I tell them to “put a mirror in front of your face and take a good look.” It’s the hard shit that women don’t want to face, and it’s usually the stuff noton the checklist that’s tucked under the mattress, or under the rug; it’s consistently doing the “little things” in the relationship that make a big difference.” —Danielle K White

This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast is coming to you from the beautiful beaches of Cancun, Mexico, where your co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White are on a romantic weekend get-a-way. In this week’s conversation, the powerful duo opens up about the journey and evolution of their sexual rebirth. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast.... SEX Point #1: The Cancun Connection Garrett: Part of the game of being married is taking trips, but for a decade, we didn’t go on vacations very often. And when we did, it was a shitshow. I was upset, I'd be working, and we’d get in fights all the time about sex. The first time we came to Cancun, though, there was a sexual revolution that took place for us during that trip. Now, going on vacation is this exciting thing for me. Danielle: We come back here for long weekend get-a-ways, where it's all about having fun, reconnecting, unplugging, and hanging out; it's like having Date Night every night. I think that’s why we like coming here because it was one of the first trips we took together after we finally committed to taking the time to create the space and the money to make it happen. QUESTION: What is the place you go back to that reminds you of your reconnection? Point #2: Doorway to Apathy Danielle: We’ll talk with couples who are having a great vacation, yet they're not having sex and they don't care. I feel it’s an interesting space to be in. They can say, "I have respect for my wife, we don't have sex, it’s not a big deal," but where and how does that trickle down into the relationship? Garrett: When this happens, one of the things a guy will do is to completely shut down sexually and become this sedated, constricted, pitiful man. He will completely cut off his sex drive and lock it away. What women don’t understand is that this lack of sexual energy affects everything about a man's life - inside of his family and his business. Men become sedated dogs who just survive...and they’re okay with it. QUESTION: How long have you been in the "I don't care" phase? Point #3: Rejection Garrett: There are guys who are sexually frustrated as fuck, and they’re trying to find a way out. They go beat the shit out of each other at the gym and then come home to this gorgeous Barbie doll princess-wife on ice blocks. I was begging for hand jobs back then and I was sliding down this path that was very confusing and frustrating. I didn’t know how to get out of it; I didn’t know how to snap out of that game. If you’re a dude who’s thinking: I'm not getting fucking laid, I've been married to this woman for five-ten years, we’ve had two babies, we’re not having sex, it’s awkward as shit, I don’t get blow jobs, we don’t connect, my wife doesn’t even want me to touch her...I get it. I was there with Danielle. If I tried to approach her at all, or even tried to touch her or kiss her in any way, shape or form, she would reject me. Even when I was trying to reconnect, she was still rejecting the shit out of me. QUESTION: Gentlemen, how does Garrett's experience resonate with you? Point #4: Feeling Invisible Danielle: I felt like my needs weren't being met. What I was attracted to at a very young age was this guy who had a lot of drive; I knew he was going to be successful at whatever he did in life. When he got to this place where he was working, working, working - which was what I was initially attracted to - my needs weren't being met with TIME. Garrett was working his ass off, and then he would come home wanting to get laid. Slowly, the courting, the dating, and the fun began to go away. I became resentful of his work, I didn’t want to go to his events, I didn’t give a shit if he was speaking, and I didn’t care anymore. We were in this place where I felt like he wanted more, but I had been in this space for three to four years where my needs weren't being met. "Screw you, you’ve tarnished my trust, why would I cross the line?" I was in a painful place where I began questioning why I was even in this relationship. QUESTION: Ladies, how does Danielle's experience relate to yours? Point #5: Sexual Rebirth Garrett: There has to be this moment where you make a decision: I am willing to do whatever is required to get to this place of my desire. What did I want? I wanted a relationship with my wife where we could communicate, talk, have open conversations, we could battle, we could dialogue, we could have sex or not have sex, we could be playful and flirt, we could hang out and connect - and inside of that, there would be no weirdness. It took years, not months or weeks, but years of working this out to get to where we are today. Danielle: I went through a couple of years where I was thinking I don’t know if I want to quit - probably because I was scared - but I don’t know if I want to continue to stay married. That’s when I decided to just focus on me and my business; I started to focus on growth as a person. In that space, I think that Garrett started to work on himself, too, and we were both getting our mojo back. We've gotten into this powerful space together because we’re choosing it; we're choosing to do the work together. QUESTION: What one thing are you committed to doing inside of your relationship to experience a sexual rebirth? Communication Challenge: I invite you as a couple to have a conversation around the possibility of participating in a 30 day KingsKit Challenge for the men: warriorbook.com, and for the ladies, participating in Wake Up Warrior for women: wakeupwarriorwoman.com.   Date Night Topic: 1 - Share the places you would like to go as a couple for your weekend get-a-ways. 2 - Set a date and begin planning your next one. Quote of the Week: "As a man, the first step to launching a sexual revolution within my marriage was to be able to be in a place of launching intensity and connection within myself, and of dealing with my own bullshit, lies, and stories. And inside of that, setting myself up on a trajectory of ultimately being able to create the conditions that would set my marriage sexually free." --Garrett J White "Have fun!" --Danielle K White  

Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, discuss the art of Crucial Conversations in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Their first encounter and first kiss are revealed as they take a trip down memory lane, and Garrett introduces the Triangle, which doubles as a favorite sex move of one of the Warriors as well as a communication strategy – a strategy which has proven to be a total game changer for Garrett and their marriage. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast…. COMMUNICATION Point #1: First Kiss Garrett: Seventeen times we went out for ice cream until you decided you couldn’t handle it anymore. I played the “I don’t give a fuck” game, you came after me, our lips brushed, then you landed one on me. I had a pattern of burning relationships with girls very quickly, like within two weeks. But with you, I really wanted to kiss you, I really wanted to have sex with you, and I still want to have sex with you all the time. Danielle: We were laying in your bed. After a two-hour shoulder massage, I knew I had to be classy and not just go in for the kill. You lined your face up with mine, your lips were nuzzling mine, and I remember thinking, “I don’t know what this is but I better go in.” QUESTION What is the memory of your first kiss with your spouse or partner? Point #2: The Triangle Garrett: The triangle is one of the natural things Danielle does when it comes to putting herself in another person’s shoes. When tensions are high, when there’s a lot on the line, and when shit is spicy, Danielle has the ability to diffuse the situation. She did this for a decade or longer before I was able to. Danielle: When I find myself getting emotionally riled up, I don’t like being in that space, so I place myself in the other person’s shoes. I try to envision it from their perspective, which helps me calm down. I may not agree with them, but it helps me understand why they’re acting the way they are, and why I’m being triggered by them. QUESTION What happens in your conversations when you put yourself in another’s shoes? Point #3: Crucial Conversations Garrett: The first step in having crucial conversations is to get clear about what Iwant from the conversation. The next step is, what do I want for my wife in this situation? And then the third, what do I want for us as a couple in this situation? As I answered these questions, it gave me clear distinctions and actions that would force me to not be right, and force me to let go of things. For ten years, I fought to be right, over getting what I wanted QUESTION Where in your world are you not clear about what you want? How is this affecting the actions you’re taking inside of your relationship?   Point #4: What Does My Partner Want? Garrett: I used to think, “What the fuck is wrong with you, Danielle? Why aren’t we having sex?” I wasn’t holding a safe space for Danielle. The safe space is a place you hold for another person for safe dialogue, where you just let them talk. I couldn’t hold open that space at all, especially with Danielle, particularly when I was feeling triggered sexually. I would become this crazy person. I would get clear about what I wanted but I had no concern for what she wanted Danielle: I think that guys have this belief that because they’re providing, their wives should naturally want to have sex. As women, yes, it’s great that you’re providing for us, but we want you to want to spend time with us. Guys want action and sex, women want guys to want to hang out with them without the pressure of having sex. QUESTION What are you doing to provide and hold space for your spouse? Point #5: Groping vs Seducing Garrett: I got to this place where I wanted Danielle to feel wanted, and part of that included seducing her, not just touching her all the time. It became more and more natural for me to help her get what she wanted, knowing that in helping her get what she wanted, would get me what I wanted as well. Danielle: In that space, it was interesting. You’d want to come spend time with me, but the only way I can describe it is that you were groping me. You had your hand planted on my ass and were literally all over me. I would get triggered and annoyed, which would lead to you shutting down. I just needed a safe space where I could enjoy the time with you while getting warmed up. QUESTION How does this resonate with you? Communication Challenge: Your final challenge inside of this week’s show is this: Sit down and have a conversation and ask yourselves these three questions: What do I want for myself in this situation? What do I want for my partner or my spouse in this situation? What do I want for us as a couple? Note: Keep in mind that it might be a little emotionally triggering for both of you. This is a good time to practice the art of holding space for each other. Date Night Topic: Take a trip down memory lane: How and where did you meet? Quote of the Week: “I think what you’re going to find once you get clear is that there’s a lot of shit you’re doing that will not get you what you want. It makes it easy to shift gears and to say I’m not going to do these things anymore, and instead I’m going to do these things because these are the things that will get me what I want.” —Garrett J White “Garrett’s always a good surprise. If you’re bored or safe, that’s not necessarily a good place to be in a marriage. I feel if you’re in maintenance mode, you’re stagnant and digressing.” —Danielle K White

It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country. Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child. QUESTION What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally? Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.” Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone. QUESTION What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no? Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her. Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen. QUESTION Cell phones and kids – why or why not?   Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth. But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies. QUESTION What are your parenting strategies?   Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it. There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right. QUESTION How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse? Communication Challenge: Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified front? Date Night Topic: To slap or not to slap: Why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it? Quote of the Week: “Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.” —Garrett J White “Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.” —Danielle K White

From the perspective of powerful producers, parents, and business owners, Danielle and Garrett’s insightful conversation sheds light on the important role money plays in marriage relationships. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Details Matter Danielle: In a lot of relationships, men do the jobs and women take care of the details. I’m not factually oriented at all, and if you give me too much information, I shut down and I can’t do it. One of the biggest things that helped our marriage was when Garrett decided to take over the bills. I found Garrett more attractive once he did that. Garrett: Part of this means taking on the bullshit – the stuff that is required when it comes to money. My wife didn’t want to deal with paying the bills and my story was I just wanted to be able to focus on production so didn’t want to take care of them. QUESTION: How do you and your spouse handle the details in your marriage? Point #2: Attraction Factor Garrett: As a man, if you’re not getting it done financially inside of your relationship, you cannot demand attraction. Why? A woman wants to feel safe and secure, and she wants to be taken care of. Even if she’s a Producer at the core, this is what she desires. Danielle: A lot of times in relationships, guys expect their wives to be the woman, yet they demand their wives to do the jobs that are typically dude jobs. If I expect Garrett to show up and be the man, I have to submit in certain areas; if he expects me to be the woman, then he has to take away those manly responsibilities and treat me like the woman. QUESTION: Gentlemen, what comes up for you when you hear that most women want to be taken care of? Point #3: Money Roles in Marriage Garrett: The truth is, I would yell at my wife about not getting on the phone with the insurance company. I began asking myself, “Do I want my wife getting on the phone and having her end up getting exhausted, fatigued and stressed out by dealing with the insurance company, and burning up all of her sexual energy in creative frustration in the process?” The answer was no. For the first ten years of our relationship, I expected my wife to be the man when it came to managing the money. What I saw in my house growing up was my mother managing the money while my dad was making the money. He would give it to my mom and she would make it all work. That was all I knew. So when I got married, guess what I expected? QUESTION: What expectations do you have in your marriage based on your upbringing? Point #4: Hats and Roles Danielle: I have different hats, different roles, and different boxes. When we’re on Date Night, work can’t carry over into the Date Night box. In past years when we weren’t in a good place, we would talk about work and it would always snowball into something crazy. As a wife, mom and business owner, I’ve had to learn to compartmentalize when it comes to a wearing a mom hat and a business hat. I think the best way to go about doing things in a relationship is to own every side of you but know how and when to put on each hat as needed. QUESTION: Ladies, how are you doing with the different hats you wear?   Point #5: Energy and Connection Garrett: Any time that a man and a woman connect inside of marriage, it’s spiritual. It’s an unseen attraction that exists. It’s not something physical or tangible that we can touch, it’s something inside of us that we feel. Energy inside of a relationship when you’re married is connection. And anytime there’s connection, there’s spirituality. Money creates the opportunity for you to experience deeper levels of connection – in the making of it, the maintaining of it, and the creating of a life with it. Money matters. QUESTION: How do you and your wife create deep connection in your relationship? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the role money played in your upbringing and how you want it to play out in your life going forward. Date Night Topic: What does “Being the Man” and “Being the Woman” look like in your relationship? Quote of the Week: “We want you to submit and be a woman but at the same time, we kind of like it when you punch us in the face. It’s a dual turn on. I want to be mentally challenged by you to the point that I’m fucking pissed, but at the same time, I want you to submit as a woman.” —Garrett J White “Everyone who says money doesn’t matter is full of shit. In our experience, not having money or even losing it, definitely put a stress on the relationship. I believe money is a very important tool.” —Danielle K White

The White's take it over the cliff in this week's episode as they dive deep and get personal in their candid conversation around the always spicy topic of sex. Be prepared to receive massive value as they revisit the ever-popular QQP, explore rejection and how it shapes patterns and behaviors in the bedroom, how Garrett's before marriage "sex talk" reveals common challenges in Orthodox-based religions when it comes to beliefs and conversations about sex, and how their relationship has undergone a massive facelift in the past two years. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....SEX Point #1: The Shift Garrett: It’s been a long time since we’ve fought about the sex topic. I don’t know what's been going on the past two months, but you’ve been on it. It’s been fun as fuck. I don’t know what's happened inside of you, but I need that shift to continue. You’ve been playing out QQP like a champion. It’s like your daily Core4. Danielle: I gave myself permission to have fun. As women, we sometimes take on the story that we're not going to be used, that it's beneath us. The Shift is when you realize you can get your heart's desires and dreams by understanding that men are actually pretty simple. Everybody's happier when we own that the V is very powerful. QUESTION: Where in your world would making a shift be a game changer? Point #2: Rejection Garrett: When you’ve been married for a number of years, there are patterns that tend to get created that are fucked up. I felt rejected for ten years, which led me to feel very weak in the bedroom. I didn’t feel wanted, and I lacked confidence and certainty. This led me to interesting patterns of masturbation, porn, and drinking. I was trying to figure out how to survive. No matter how rejected you’ve felt, you have the power to change that story. I was not able to change that story on my own. My wife and I going to marriage and sex therapy allowed us to pull that off. Another very powerful tool we use, known as the Stack, can be found at warriorbook.com inside one of our 30 Day Challenges known as the KingsKit. QUESTION: What patterns and behaviors have you fallen into because of feelings of rejection? Point #3: Wifey Guilt Danielle: Sex is the only topic in the wifey guilt. "Oh no. It’s been a few days. I didn’t do my wifey duties." Women naturally know when things are not aligned, and where we're not putting the time and effort into certain areas of our life. When the kids are screaming - but I know we gotta do this - these are the quickest nights. I enjoy these because the next day it brings more peace into our relationship. There was a time I felt, why should I be guilty? I’m not being fulfilled. For so many years you played the victim - poor me, you owe me this. Because we’re married, I have to put out every night? Fuck you, I don’t owe you anything. Then I got to this point: have a quickie, connect, it’s not that big of a deal, and then we carry on in this happy place in our marriage. For me, that's fulfilling. QUESTION: Ladies, how can you relate to this?   Point #4: Birthday Surprise Garrett: These last couple of years, it's been this really powerful game where I've recognized that what I actually wanted from my wife was not the penis and vagina experience - don’t get me wrong, that's what I want. But what I've wanted is to feel wanted. What was amazing about my birthday is that I felt wanted. Danielle: Garrett was in the middle of an event in Huntington Beach during his birthday. He was on stage and nobody really knew it was his birthday until his lead trainer, Sam, announced it. As 350 guys sang Happy Birthday, I walked onto the stage and surprised him. For Garrett, it was this moment of, "Oh my God. She wants to be here." QUESTION: What would be possible for your relationship if each of you actually felt wanted by your spouse? Point #5: It's Kind of Messy Garrett: For the guys who get exactly what I’m talking about, if you were raised in a pretty orthodox religion and you were not married to a woman who was practiced before marriage, nor were you practiced before marriage - on the one side, there’s a huge advantage to having sex before you get married. I know that’s going to completely burn the ears of those who may be listening, "Oh my God! I’m completely against that!" Danielle: Yes, there's good that comes out of us being raised this way. But where's the line? Is it a blessing or a curse? Garrett: People don’t measure the consequence of not being sexually aware at all. They’re not being trained. When we were raised, we were not trained or taught. I didn’t even know what a clitoris was. My dad’s sex talk to me before I got married was, "Be sure you have a cloth handy. It’s kind of messy.” QUESTION: What do you think: Wait until marriage, or have some experience before getting married? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about how you were raised, and how that has shaped your beliefs, patterns, and behaviors about sex. Date Night Topic: How can you both bring new vitality into your relationship? Quote of the Week: "I would love to invite you as a man to join us in the KingsKit challenge that you can find at warriorbook.com and be part of that experience. And if you’re a lady listening to this show, I would encourage you to send your man over to that." --Garrett J White "Ladies, if you’re in that place where your guy’s not really being the man, you have to reevaluate and ask yourself, “How can I show up and be the woman?" Sometimes, the strongest women need to surrender to what’s going to benefit you, your family, and your relationship. A lot of times you discover, "Wow, that served me more than I thought!" Commitment is the first step. --Danielle K White

Communication is the topic in this week's Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: Activate the Gremlin Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle's system. Garrett: A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention: "You know, Danielle is like a gremlin - cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And then you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train like I have never before seen her. Her gremlin was activated!" QUESTION: What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?   Point #2: Characters and Roles Garrett: I've realized that we as human beings have lots of characters and we play different roles. If you look at this from an acting perspective, you take on different roles and play different characters. Inside of a marriage relationship, there are a lot of roles that we are required to create and master. Danielle: In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As a woman, I have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat. QUESTION: What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage?   Point #3: Growing at Different Speeds Danielle: When we lost everything and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him to just figure it out. He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn't want to, he felt I wasn't growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but rather work on me and stay in my own lane. Garrett: We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate and you’re both in two totally diffident places, it can be very difficult. QUESTION: How do you handle growing at different speeds in your marriage?   Point #4: Choice vs Force Garrett: I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me, choosing the path that I wanted, and inviting Danielle to come along with me. I told her this is where I'm going, I would like you to come with me, but if you don't want to come that’s okay - I’m still going to go. The more I took that stand, the better our relationship became inside of our communication. Danielle: It's because it became about me getting to choose and not feeling like you were forcing me or dragging me. For me, that actually feels better.  If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say "by the way, you’re broken and you should probably come with me and get fixed." That's kind of like how it comes across. QUESTION: Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships?   Point #5: The Control Factor Garrett: I'll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is one where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must be submitted at times. Danielle: In order to ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting we realize we’re both on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation. QUESTION: How do you handle collision in your relationship? Communication Challenge: How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage? Date Night Topic: What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth? Quote of the Week: "When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture." --Garrett J White "Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone." --Danielle K White

In this week's Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies - as well as possible solutions - as they reveal real-life challenges. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING Point #1: Permission to Pursue Your Passion Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I've tried to create a balance between all of the hats I'm wearing. One day the Voice said to me, "You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair]." I've discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children. Garrett: There tends to be a war within women - women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it’s not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children. QUESTION: As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family? Point #2: If-Then Scenario When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Danielle replied: I don’t know. I know I'm a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I’m fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they’re going to say “I want to be like my mom.” Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn’t working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she’s a better mother because she’s a better producer. But this doesn't mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default. QUESTION: Do you believe you're a better mom because you do or  because you do not work outside of the home? Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there’s a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it’s not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground. Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, "Garrett, they’re girls. Don’t yell at them like that!" When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I’m pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid - and I can’t get reel them back in no matter what I say - I know I need to give them space. QUESTION: What are your parenting stratetgies?   Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don’t ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell’s gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns. Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. "Danielle’s picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife’s got war paint on her face, she's wielding a sword and a shield, and I’m yelling, “Woman, we're going to the front line!” I start running and when I look back, she’s squatting and peeing on my parenting plan." QUESTION: How are you relating to Danielle's and Garrett's differences in parenting strategies? Point #5: Walk and Talk Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here’s the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I’d be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she's also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning. We've implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I've also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human. QUESTION: Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them? Communication Challenge: What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother. Quote of the Week: "For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I’ve also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness." --Garrett J White "I’m kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you’re passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me." --Danielle K White

You’re in for a real treat in this week’s episode of Date Your Wife where the conversation is all about the highly anticipated Warrior Week for Women coming in August 2018. This is the first time in seven years that they’re bringing forth the message of the Warrior’s Way directly to women and for women, with Danielle as one of the lead trainers. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Accessing Power In 2012, I launched Wake Up Warrior to men. It was based on an idea that power itself could be ultimately generated and created inside of a man like me. Over the last 6 1/2 years, it has risen from a concept to a movement that is now blanketing the world in twenty-seven countries, with tens of thousands of men partaking inside of a belief system found inside the book, WarriorBook. This is the first time I will be speaking directly to women on the topic of living the Warrior’s Way and accessing the power that we, as men, have been accessing for six years. Over the years, emails from women have been pouring in from around the globe requesting and searching for the same power that they have seen being taught to men, wanting it for themselves. QUESTION: How and when did you first hear about Wake Up Warrior? Point #2: Uncover Your Divine Nature and Power This isn’t going to be about carrying logs or physical beatdowns; you’re not going to be outside on the trails, and you’re not going to fight each other. It’s not some ethereal meditation retreat, nor is it about being led down a path of possibility and vision boards. This is a path of true, practical, pragmatic power, and it will be customized with my wife by my side, as well as the women who have stood at the core of this movement with their husbands, to lead and guide you down the path of uncovering the divine nature and power of who you truly are. QUESTION: What about this speaks to your soul? Point #3: Proven Science and Doctrine This is an invitation for you to step into the first inaugural no-guarantees-that-we-will-ever-do-it-again Warrior Week for Women. We do this because it has been requested from the women who want to be able to understand the power their husband is learning, experiencing, and expressing, and for single women who are simply wanting to find the power inside of themselves to stand. Coming to this experience is not about him, it’s about you. The science we have developed may not have been directed at women in the beginning, but has indirectly blessed the lives of countless thousands. We’ve been testing this doctrine and science in a small way for 1 1/2 years inside my hair salons to see if it would impact the lives of these women the way it had the men – and the answer was, yes! QUESTION: Ladies, where in your life would you like to experience more power and certainty? Point #4: Noxious Weeds and Chaos It’s time to peel it back, it’s time to take a stand for you and with you. It’s time for Wake Up Warrior to put a flag in the ground inside of the marketplace and to take for the very first time, the curriculum, science, art, and the process of the awakening of and becoming a woman – from the science we’ve proven and tested in far harder ground, with more rocks and more noxious weeds and more chaos with the men, so that it would be ready for you. I invite you to step inside the journey of power with me and to experience what is really about starting a movement preparing for 2019 as Wake Up Warrior begins to take this science and belief system, not directly just to men, but directly to women, just like you. QUESTION: What would be possible for you if you accept this invitation? Point #5: Is It Your Time? You have an opportunity to be part of the group of the first women, the women who get to experience this raw and on fire with myself, the trainers and support coaches, who are going to be part of this integrated experience that we have never done before. I don’t need you to do this, but your family and your life will want you to. If you know it’s your time – time to take a step in a direction that is ultimately possibly the first time about serving you, and about giving you purpose, power, and possibility – click warriorwomennow.com, and I’ll see you in Laguna in August 2018 with my elite team of trainers at the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women. QUESTION: Are you ready to step into the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women? Communication Challenge: Gentlemen, at the conclusion of the podcast, have a converation with your Queen about Warrior Week for Women and how you can support her in this journey. Date Night Topic: What would be possible for your family to begin living the Warrior’s Way together? Quote of the Week: “At Warrior Wealth for women, we’re going to train you not just on the concepts of power, but on the art and science of production. You deserve and must demand inside of yourself the capacity to be a high-level producer.” —Garrett J White “We’re excited to see how this is going to affect the balance in your life between being a mom, a business owner, a wife, and being in a relationship; of creating more in your life, creating that space you desire, and more importantly, creating purpose beyond kids and work.” —Danielle K White

Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast where professionals Garrett J and Daniel K White, who happen to make babies together, take on the topic of Money in this week’s episode. One of the more interesting gems discovered in today's conversation is Garrett's confession to having pierced his nipples while attending college, arguably one of the worst decisions he has ever made.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast....MONEY Point #1: Sword and Shield Garrett: Danielle doesn't collide well with people, and since I do, one of the things we rely on inside of our marriage when it comes to money is that I’m the guy out in front with the shield and sword. I'm the guy that goes to war. I’m the guy that collides with everyone inside of the topic of money. I remember the days when I would put Danielle out front to be the shield and would yell at her that it was her job to pay the bills because I was too busy. I would ask her why I felt like I was married to a man and she said it's because I had put her in man shoes. This, of course,  had a huge impact on our sex life. QUESTION: In your marriage, who is out in front going to war? Point #2: Illusion Garrett: Danielle looks like she’s a very orderly person when she’s with me because I’m a hurricane. She's very clean but isn't good at cleaning. Open any drawer in our house and Danielle admits it's a scary shit show. Danielle: We compliment each other very well when it comes to our strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to numbers, I tend to shut down a little bit and get overwhelmed, and only want to be told numbers on a need to know basis QUESTION: How do the two of you compliment one another? Point #3: Let Go and Let Him Lead Danielle: I don’t know what's going on with the bills, and I trust that Garrett has that taken care of. In the past, I wanted control over what I was making only because when shit was going south in our marriage, that was my safety net and escape plan. Garrett: Being able to give your man a position to lead is vital.  A common complaint from powerful women is that their man is not leading. My response? Quit cutting off his balls. If you want him to act like a king with the vaults and the money, then you’re going to have to actually show up in a way that gives him space to do that. QUESTION: Ladies, are you cutting off your husband's balls? Point #4: Growth Yields Abundance Garrett: While I was using you as a shield, you were part of the key game of triggering me to want more. I think I would have settled for way less than what we currently have, but you exposed me to a place of possibility of a life being married to you other than how I was raised. Danielle: At the end of the day, significance only gets people so far. By pushing Garrett to grow, we have become better people. We've tapped into a different network of people and we've been able to impact more people’s lives directly by putting a dollar figure behind it. QUESTION: Where in your relationship have the two of you settled?   Point #5: Push and Lead Garrett: You drove me to care more about money in the sense of getting economically compensated for what I do, and to keep pushing that. I then I took it upon myself to create profitable businesses and a lifestyle that was financially prosperous, and a legacy that would matter economically. That's the gift I got from Danielle. Danielle: Lead by example rather than dragging your spouse with you. If they don’t see that shift and if they don’t want to be the better version of themselves, then you might cross paths. At one point, our circumstances caused me to push myself out there with an attitude of wanting to produce more, and in the process became a better artist and person. QUESTION: How do you push your spouse to become a better version of themselves? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about the man being out in front leading, guiding, and protecting his family. What would it take for you two to pull this off? What changes would have to take place?  Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, share with each other the ways you compliment one another. Quote of the Week: "When I took the shield back and started paying the bills, I started producing and began to double down, focusing on myself and making sure I was on point as a producer. When I did this, this magical thing came back. Danielle became more attracted to me and we began having more sex." --Garrett J White "We see it all the time where couples come inside both of our businesses trying to get each of their spouses on board. It seems there’s always going to be one more driven than the other. I’ve always thought of Garrett as being the one more driven, but once I gave myself permission, I discovered that I'm actually very driven and super passionate." --Danielle K White