Date Your Wife

Garrett and Danielle ring in the New Year with news of baby White who is due to join the family in late July. In this first episode of 2019, the White’s have a conversation that is all about babies and children, and how much they change the game in all areas of a couple’s life. Point #1: New Beginnings Early last year after announcing their pregnancy to a room of three thousand people, Garrett discovered that Danielle had miscarried their baby, a sad and rough experience for them all. After a fun-filled summer of adventure, Danielle realized that if she wanted to have another baby it was “now or never.” Even at the young age of 35, she falls into the ill-named category, “Advanced Maternal Age.” QUESTION What new beginnings are you currently experiencing? Point #2: Change Is In the Air Both Garrett and Danielle agree that no one can really prepare for and comprehend how much a baby and children change your life. Danielle: Having kids pushes you to do things you didn’t think were possible. It fast-tracks you. It brings out this maturity and responsibility and gives you this sense of purpose. QUESTION What changes are you anticipating or experiencing in 2019?  Point #3: The Shift Garrett: I don’t think a human being can fully grasp the intensity of what it is to be a human being without birthing or raising a human being. It creates a shift. There are a lot of people who are anti-children. What makes that so ironic is, if someone would have had the same thought process as they’re having, they wouldn’t fucking exist. QUESTION What is the shift you have experienced as a result of having children?  Point #4: Legacy When Garrett turned 40, he started thinking about his children and his legacy in a way that he had never before considered. “Not being married and not having children, there’s no fucking way I’d work this hard.” Both Garrett and Danielle believe that women are a motivating factor when it comes to men working hard and producing and remember Garrett’s fierce drive for work when they were dating. QUESTION How does having a wife and children affect your drive to produce? Point #5: Mixed Signals Garrett: When you’re pregnant, there’s some kind of endorphin that releases from you that fucks with the sexual mojo for a man. There’s a shield that blocks my balls. I want to be all over you but I just can’t. From a woman’s perspective, Danielle understands and appreciates the sensitivity, yet there are times when she doesn’t want to be treated like she is pregnant; she wants instead to experience that sexual energy between them. QUESTION How do you handle sexual intimacy during pregnancy? Communication Challenge: Begin the conversation of Legacy and what that looks like inside of your relationship.   Date Night Topic: Date Nights and Get-a-ways: Grab your calendar and begin brainstorming & planning what you want to do together in 2019. Go outside the box and get adventurous! Quote of the Week: “It’s almost like your body is sending some sort of signal to me that’s saying, “Thank you, you’re not welcome here.” —Garrett J White “Having kids pushes you to do things you didn’t think were possible. It fast-tracks you. It brings out this maturity and responsibility and gives you this sense of purpose.” —Danielle K White

*This week's episode is a special encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast.* This week Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of money as dual producers. Their marriage was on the verge of divorce when Danielle found motivation to take care of herself as a possible single parent, ultimately leading to the success we see today with her salon, DKW Styling, and in her technique known as Natural Beaded Rows.   Point #1: Inside the Pit of Chaos During the time they were knocking on the door of divorce, Garrett was reeling from the market crash and had stopped producing. There’s an interesting game that plays out inside of money when the man isn’t producing, and together they were trying to figure it all out. During that transition, it really depolarized them as a couple energetically. Danielle realized she could help out financially and began turning her business into something more than a hobby. She wanted to be taken care of and also wanted to have freedom from the guilt of buying nice things for herself, remembering how her mother worked so their family could have nice things beyond their basic needs. QUESTION How have you seen your roles altered inside your marriage when financial challenges have arisen? Point #2: The Fight For the Throne There was this huge shift of power that came about because of money. Garrett went from the king of the castle to the servant of the queen who had her feet on both thrones while simultaneously wearing both the King’s crown and the Queen’s crown. This is the reality of production: it’s not just about the topic of money, it’s about the power play of production. Many times when a man loses the ability to produce and provide, and loses trust inside of that relationship, the woman is forced to go into masculine mode in order to produce, which creates this whole different dynamic and challenge. Garrett was under assault and fighting for the throne that Danielle was sitting on. Gentlemen, you’re not getting the throne until you prove that you’re actually the man. QUESTION Where are you as a couple in this Game of Thrones?  Point #3: From Gucci’s to Steel Toed Dude Shoes Danielle felt like she was the man in the relationship. If Garrett was trying to control her she’d tell him “you don’t have a fucking leg to stand on right now.” She was constantly annoyed by him and always trying to pull the rug out from under him which led to a lot of wars. When Garrett started becoming more consistent, Danielle felt that the safety net was back and she could start letting up a little on her intensity of the hustle and grind. As she let up on the gas, Garrett began getting in her face to prove he was more powerful. They started to go to war in a different direction which killed their ability to communicate. QUESTION How have you experienced this dynamic as a couple?  Point #4: Selective Cheap Bastard Mode Danielle: Garrett’s not big on any holiday. Most people look forward to holidays but he doesn’t. My love language is all about the gifts, but his isn’t. He’ll give a bum $40 and yet forget my birthday or won’t do anything for it. I’ve now figured out a little trick that gets me what I want from Garrett. Garrett: There will be times when Danielle wants to do something financially and I am thinking “this is ridiculous, there’s no fucking way, I don’t get it.” On the flip side, when it comes to rebuilding a salon, I’ll turn the switch on and Danielle goes into cheap bastard mode saying, “No!” My justification with money is: if it’s an investment, I put the money in. QUESTION What are your ‘Cheap Bastard Modes?’ What dynamic does that create in your relationship? Point #5: The Collision Inside the Money Game After eight months of not going to battle, they found themselves in the middle of a war zone recently around the topic of business. This reminded Garrett of a ‘shit show’ they created years back while dining in a quaint little restaurant in Beverly Hills, where they were both losing their minds and Garrett was ready to throw the table across the room. Garrett: It comes down to this: People want to feel validated in their desires with money. I want to feel validated inside my world when it comes to what I want financially, and you want to feel validated that your opinion matters when it comes to what you want financially. QUESTION  Do you battle often as a couple? How much of that is ‘healthy collision’ and how much of it is a down right war zone?   Communication Challenge: Begin the conversation of validation and what it looks like for each of you inside of your relationship.     Date Night Topic: What is going to be the next stretch for you two as a couple financially that will pull you two forward? For us, it was our new home. What will it be for you?   Quote of the Week: The moment I began to see that my family was an investment, I began to see the value in myself even more.” —Garrett J White “If you are trying to go to the next level in any area of your life, just take a look at what is possible. A lot of people focus on their current reality and think, “I can’t possibly go there” instead of asking, “What if?” or “I wonder?” We are both entrepreneurs, and I know that moving forward is always an option, regardless of where we currently are.” —Danielle K White

*This is a special encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast.* The White’s juggle children, sandwiches and grocery lists in the opening of today’s podcast, demonstrating yet again that they are keeping things real and raw. Between the flirting, bantering, sexual innuendos, and Danielle revealing what she really thinks about penises, it’s no wonder their’s is the only explicitly rated podcast in the category of Parenting and Family, as they are willing to take topics where others are not. Sit back and enjoy today’s conversation on the topic of Sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Lazy Sex Danielle: It’s not like I don’t want to put in the effort, but I don’t always want to put in the effort. On my laziest days I don’t just lay there and do nothing, but there are ways to service your man without getting really into it. Garrett: Does this mean that women are sexually lazy? Servicing your man is important, regardless of what the servicing looks like. A lot of women don’t get this. QUESTION When you have sex, even quickie sex, do you experience connection or is it more like vaginal masturbation? Point #2: Tips For Traveling Garrett: When men are traveling, it doesn’t matter for 2 days or 2 weeks, they experience an increased sexual drive. It happens even if it’s just overnight. There is an increased sexual spike of being gone from their wife in which sexual desire increases. When guys are gone for a bunch of days it is very easy for them to end up in the trap of porn. This is a very big issue for guys. Danielle: If your guy is traveling, I think it’s a good idea to have sex the night before they go. Ladies, just get it done. Little things like that will make your relationship better and when he goes out of town he’s going to be more focused. I learned the hard way. It’s not that big a deal and it’s actually a win-win where we both are getting what we want. QUESTION What happens when you follow this formula? What happens when you don’t? Point #3: Pouty Mode Garrett went into pouty mode for 10 years because he felt so out of control inside of their relationship when it came to sex. He felt that Danielle held all of the cards and that she didn’t give a shit. Danielle: I found that pouty mode super unattractive. As Garrett shifted his energy, it gave me room to breathe. He just stopped asking and didn’t bring so much pouty energy to the table.  That’s when I started changing my story about Quickies and QQP was born. QUESTION What energy is present when pouty mode enters the picture in your relationship? Point #4: Women Are Like Crockpots Garrett: You tell me to warm you up first and then worry about myself. What does that look like? You have guys who don’t worry about their wife at all and worry about their own orgasm, then you have guys who are worried about their wife’s orgasm – there’s even a book called, “She Comes First.” Danielle: I don’t agree with that and I’m going to tell you why from a girl’s perspective. Warm her up first and then worry about yourself. I like to be warmed up, but if I go first, I’m less into you. It’s a song and dance, really. We’re both at the finish line: if I go first and you come right after me, it’s like we cross the finish line together. QUESTION What does your dance look like? Point #5: Hobbies Bring Fulfillment Garrett got to the point where he began relying on his masturbation toy and started drinking more. He went into a place of suppression, where he literally didn’t give a shit. At Danielle’s suggestion, he took up surfing, which has been an exceptionally good fit for him. Danielle: I suggested he take up surfing because I felt it would be something that he would enjoy. He comes back happy and full of this great energy, plus it gives me more space. He has a mistress called surfing and I’m fine with that mistress. QUESTION What hobbies do you both enjoy that add positive energy and breathing space inside of your relationship? Communication Challenge:  Talk about the ways you like being serviced by your spouse – and then go experiment. Date Night Topic: Begin the conversation around this idea of “Warm her up, worry about you.” What does that look like inside of your marriage? Quote of the Week: “When you are both on point together and he goes on a trip, apply the simple strategy of having Date Night and sex the night before you go – whether you’re fighting or angry or not – if you do this, life is going to be better. Your man’s going to go hunt more powerfully, which means that when he’s gone he’s going to be more productive in business; he’s not going to go to porn because he’s going to feel connected to you while he’s gone.” —Garrett J White “If it has been awhile since you have seen him and he comes back into town, just get it out of the way. I used to be standoffish and we would end up getting into fights. My advice is just get it off the table and out of the way. It doesn’t have to be a big show, just do it. He will become like putty in your hands.” —Danielle K White

In this week's episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett get down to the nitty-gritty details of the behaviors, patterns, and stories both men and women exhibit and live in when it comes to the topic of money. The White's speak boldly and honestly about their experiences as a married couple inside the Game of Money - where men are typically driven by sex, and women by security - and share what they did that led them out of the throes of divorce and into a thriving and expanding relationship. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week's Podcast.... MONEY Point #1: Safety, Security, and Sex Garrett: We’re discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there’s this cross-over game specifically on the topic of money where a woman wants a man to produce, and yet inside of that, one of the challenges that happens is that the woman continues to cut the balls off the man as a Producer. Danielle: Money creates safety and security for a woman, even if you’re a powerful woman. I’m a very independent person and have always been one to want to take care of myself. Inside of that, I also want to be taken care of. So it’s like this double-edged sword. In the end, we want to be taken care of but we can’t expect to be taken care of we keep fighting for the throne. It’s a balancing game and surrender on both ends. [mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" Ctxt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote] How does this ring true in your relationship? Point #2: No Money, No Trust Danielle: At one point, Garrett wasn’t producing, so I decided to put on the man hat and figure it out on my own. When everything got stripped from us, I wasn't feeling connected to Garrett. I didn't know if I really wanted to be married, especially since we didn't have any money. It wasn’t like I was trying to cut Garrett's balls off; from a female perspective, I was just trying to survive. "You were the provider, you stripped that, so fuck you, you’ve lost my trust." Garrett: We’re sitting in this situation where I've built something and then I've lost it. I've also lost the trust of my wife. As I’m climbing out of the Pit to create financial results again, what I didn’t expect to happen was to be tested by the queen over and over and over. I would speak to the possibility of what I was going to go do and then not do it. She didn't respond with something like "Oh hon, you’re amazing." There was no cheerleading, "Hey you got this." Danielle was scorned and had no trust in me. [mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote] When trust has been lost in your marriage, how do you both regain it? Point #3: Preparing for War Garrett: I struggled with this. I interpreted everything she was saying and doing as "She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t support me." Add to that, our sex life goes to hell in a hen basket. Not only do I have some blue balls going on, now I have bloody blue balls, and I’m having to protect my balls from being cut off every single day. I didn’t know how to deal with this. What I didn’t know and understand was that she was actually preparing me to go back to war, to go back outside the wall of the destroyed kingdom to rebuild and repair our lives, to pay the bills, to build us out of scarcity and into abundance, and to create. [mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote] Gentlemen, describe how your wife has been preparing you to go back to war. Point #4: Balls of Steel Garrett: When I finally mastered the game of being able to go into collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money, there was a shift that took place. I got to this point where my balls became as steel. "Woman, go ahead and hack at those balls because all you’ll do is break your knife." At that point, life started to shift and Danielle started to trust. Danielle: I felt like Garrett was taking back the throne. Part of me was resistant, and a part of me was thinking "it’s about fucking time." When I started to see that happen, I began backing down and decided I was going to stay in my own lane. There were two years where we just stayed in our own lanes; we weren't at war anymore, and the trust was building on both sides. [mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote] What does collision look like in your marriage? Point #5: Daggers and Triggers Garrett: Gentlemen, stop interpreting your wife’s “criticism” as an attack. Stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and the monster who is attacking you. You have to find a new decision and a new path that says, “Listen, my wife is not attacking me, my wife is triggering me to grow. Danielle: A lot of times, I felt like I was throwing daggers at Garrett. I wasn’t trying to trigger him, I wanted him to be the man I knew he could be. But I couldn’t say that, so it became a song and a dance for us to figure out how to communicate with each other.  [mks_pullquote align="left" width="300" size="24" bg_color="#000000" txt_color="#ffffff"]QUESTION[/mks_pullquote] What does your song and dance look like? Communication Challenge: Have a candid conversation around the premise that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. How has this affected your individual behavior as well as your overall relationship?   Date Night Topic: Gratitude: As you go on your date this week, share three things about your spouse or partner that you are grateful for. Quote of the Week: "This has nothing to do with your wife not being a producer. My wife is an ultra producer and out-produces most men I know. Inside of that place, we each have clear roles and responsibilities as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of being a couple. My responsibility is the King, and hers is not that role." --Garrett J White "When women ask me how we did this, it’s like they’re wanting a checklist. I tell them to "put a mirror in front of your face and take a good look." It’s the hard shit that women don’t want to face, and it's usually the stuff not on the checklist that’s tucked under the mattress, or under the rug; it’s consistently doing the "little things" in the relationship that make a big difference." --Danielle K White

In this week’s podcast, Garrett and Danielle are back at it again as they have a conversation about the seduction game and the importance of knowing what your partner needs; otherwise, the sexual victim card gets played. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Seduction and Sex In the conversation of seduction, Danielle shares how seducing Garrett can be as simple as her walking through the room wearing some cute, lace panties or slowly undressing, whereas seeing Garrett confident and in his element is far more seductive and sexy to her than watching him prance around in a thong. Doing your business in private vs doing it with the door wide open proves to be a spicy topic. When playing the game, “Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid,”  the friend zone, tampons, hairy ass cheeks, and the naggy bitch mode top the list. QUESTION What tops your couple’s list of Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid?    Point #2: Tracking and Lacking Back when their marriage was a shit show, Danielle thought the only reason Garrett was helping out was to get laid, which was actually true. He felt he had earned sex because of all of the things he was doing for her. She noticed the difference in his energy and attitude when they had sex vs when she withheld sex from him. Garrett found himself in an isolation and desperation game while tracking how much sex they weren’t having. As a man who had been successful in breaking the codes in his businesses, Garrett was trying to figure out how to break his wife’s code, hoping his gifts to her would result in a blow job for him. Danielle was pissed because he was tracking, Garrett was pissed because his sex life was lacking. QUESTION In what ways is your relationship similar to their “shit show” years?     Point #3: The Leverage Game A man tends to leverage money and power to get sex, whereas a woman will leverage sex to get the power she wants. Garrett felt hurt and angry for being rejected sexually, while Danielle continually had her guard up and felt like she was always walking on eggshells. Garrett’s constant challenge became: When is my wife going to want me? He began strategizing, which backfired and began killing the attraction between them. Danielle was watching from the sidelines and figured he was a ticking time bomb. QUESTION How are you playing the Leverage Game in your marriage?     Point #4: Men: Take the Sexual Victim Card Off the Table Although Danielle and Garrett existed in a space better than war, it wasn’t victory – it was a place where he needed to get laid, and she wanted peace in the house. Sex became awkward. When men become more powerful in business, they also become more sexually charged. Being completely consumed with the frustration, anger, fear and doubt around this topic of sex, and constantly being rejected, Garrett became a sexual victim. As a married man 100% committed to his wife, until he could stop the war between he and Danielle, he began neutralizing the playing field by handling his needs himself via a sex tool. QUESTION What space are you existing in as a couple?     Point #5: Submit and Surrender While Danielle agreed she was being a bitch about withholding sex, Garrett admits he was being a dick and complete asshole by withholding time and energy from her. He would deliberately set up situations for Danielle to fail so he could feel like he had control. Garrett remembers the day he submitted to the reality that Danielle needed him to show up and give a shit as a husband and as a lover, even if he wasn’t getting laid. He was going to direct all of his energy towards her and not hold her hostage anymore. He felt that by giving her space, he would show her that he wanted her as a person, beyond her body, and that he was ALL IN. QUESTION What are the ways you hold your spouse hostage? What behaviors could you let go of that would be a game changer in your relationship?   Communication Challenge: Talk about and demonstrate the ways you love seducing and being seduced.   Date Night Topic: Do you use Garrett’s formula of TTF?  Or a different formula?  Talk about the formulas that work for you in your marriage.   Quote of the Week: “People would look at us as this attractive couple and I was like fuck that! I’ve got a g*ddamn frozen ice block barbie in a box goin’ on. I don’t get to touch it – nothing! It’s like a doll that I get to look at. I’m like a dog on a leash that’s held just past where the hamburger is sitting, and I’m not ever getting it. And if I do take a bite, I get beat with a fuckin’ stick.” —Garrett J White “You promote me, you talk about me, you say I’m your Queen, so show me! Come over to my side and show me that what you’re preaching is true. If you believe in me, if you believe in my business, if you believe in my vision, then jump on board with me!” —Danielle White

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle. Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days. QUESTION How can you spice up your “get it done” sex? Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast  Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. They are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us. QUESTION What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse? Point #3: Lacking Sex? If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection. QUESTION Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time?   Point #4: Date Night You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates. QUESTION What has been your Date Night pattern? Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present. QUESTION What portion of the Trifecta are you missing? Communication Challenge: Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Date Night Topic: What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex? Quote of the Week: “You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.” —Garrett J White “Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.” —Danielle K White

Garrett channels his inner DJ for this week’s Date Your Wife podcast where he and Danielle talk about some problems they’re facing in the parenting department with their once snuggly-cuddly seventh grader, and also share some of the victories they’re experiencing with Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing them to grow up much faster and at the same time, they’re NOT growing up. They’ve gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven’t learned how to commutate face-to-face. Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn’t sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it’s a matter of text, erase, edit, and send. QUESTION How has communication changed since you were a teen? Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone. Unbeknownst to Garrett who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another other room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, “I hate this part!” QUESTION What does your bed time routine look like?   Point #3: Old School Discipline When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving. As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones. QUESTION How do your discipline techniques differ from those of your parents?   Point #4: Jump Through the Windows Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda –  that’s your window in. In order to gain that connection, I’m constantly looking for my windows. Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what’s going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we’re doing. QUESTION What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children?   Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce It was only a couple years ago that Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son wouldn’t talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett’s ex-wife and her family into the picture. A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life transforming as Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible. QUESTION How are navigating the waters of parental divorce? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about the challenges cell phones have brought into your family. Date Night Topic: How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing. Quote of the Week: “The emotional fortitude of children isn’t what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they’re going backward.” —Garrett J White “Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back.” —Danielle K White

As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, she realizes she may have stepped out a little too far. The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it. QUESTION What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019? Point #2: The Money Game During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working; Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted to do, and his father would pay the bills. QUESTION What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play? Point #3: Mommy Guilt Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and better person. QUESTION As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?   Point #4: Different AND Equal Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man andthe woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home. The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone. QUESTION How do you view your roles as producers? Point #5: Power and Stress A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working; it’s very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress. QUESTION As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019? Date Night Topic: What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans. Quote of the Week: “If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.” —Garrett J White “Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.” —Danielle K White

The White’s have a conversation about their nine-day sex drought. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Drought After experiencing a miscarriage earlier this year, Danielle wondered if she and Garrett had lost the fun in their sex life, even though they were both enjoying the ‘let’s-try-for-another-baby’ sex The time change, an increased workload, massive changes within their businesses, and Garrett turning Danielle down for the first time in their 17 year marriage, have all led to their current drought. QUESTION What is contributing to the droughts you’re experiencing? Point #2: One For The Team When it’s been a while, Garrett tends to go into this retreat mode where he doesn’t even try to initiate sex with Danielle. Garrett: When we experienced a drought in the past, I would begin thinking I was in the wrong relationship. Now, I just torch the shit out of people in business. QUESTION Where do you place your energy when you’re in a drought? Point #3: The Slip and Drift Garrett: If we’re three days into having sex twice a day on vacation, I’m that guy who could use a couple of days of rest. When they’re experiencing a drought, Danielle begins to lose that attraction factor, and both she and Garrett begin to feel that loss of attraction. QUESTION What actions do you take to get back that attraction factor?   Point #4: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix Garrett played a video during the show called The Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix. You have your crazy axis and your hot axis. Hot is measured from 0 to 10, and Crazy is measured from 4 to 10. You’ve got your No-Go Zone, your Fun Zone, your Date Zone, your Wife Zone, and your Unicorn Zone. Garrett: Danielle’s a Unicorn: 4 Crazy and 14 Hot. QUESTION Where is your spouse inside this matrix? Point #5: Just F***ing Do It! At about seven days into a drought, most men begin to unplug from their wife. The best thing a couple could do at this point is to just have sex; just fucking do it. During the podcast, Garrett and Danielle venture into a little sex talk foreplay with both committing to ending the drought after the show. QUESTION Where is your favorite place to end the drought? Communication Challenge: What would be possible for your relationship if you were to have a plan in place the next time a drought crops up out of seemingly nowhere? Date Night Topic: Have some fun with this: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix Quote of the Week: “When I turned you down for the first time in seventeen years and said I’m too tired, I think that hurt you, yet I’ve heard the same thing from you four thousand times!” —Garrett J White “When I feel a drift, that’s usually when I bring out the morning sex weapon. Recognize the drift and correct it, otherwise, no relationship will work out.” —Danielle K White

In this week’s Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies – as well as possible solutions – as they reveal real-life challenges. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Permission to Pursue Your Passion Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I’ve tried to create a balance between all of the hats I’m wearing. One day the Voice said to me, “You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair].” I’ve discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children. Garrett: There tends to be a war within women – women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it’s not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children. QUESTION As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family? Point #2: If-Then Scenario When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Daniellereplied: I don’t know. I know I’m a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I’m fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they’re going to say “I want to be like my mom.” Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn’t working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she’s a better mother because she’s a better producer. But this doesn’t mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default. QUESTION Do you believe you’re a better mom because you do or  because you do not work outside of the home? Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there’s a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it’s not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground. Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, “Garrett, they’re girls. Don’t yell at them like that!” When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I’m pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid – and I can’t get reel them back in no matter what I say – I know I need to give them space. QUESTION What are your parenting stratetgies?   Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don’t ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell’s gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns. Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. “Danielle’s picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife’s got war paint on her face, she’s wielding a sword and a shield, and I’m yelling, “Woman, we’re going to the front line!” I start running and when I look back, she’s squatting and peeing on my parenting plan.” QUESTION How are you relating to Danielle’s and Garrett’s differences in parenting strategies? Point #5: Walk and Talk Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here’s the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I’d be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she’s also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning. We’ve implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I’ve also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human. QUESTION Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them? Communication Challenge: What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother. Quote of the Week: “For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I’ve also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness.” —Garrett J White “I’m kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you’re passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me.”