The Connection with Marty Moss-Coane

Authoritarianism is on the rise around the globe, the appeal spreading to even American voters. We’ll talk with Georgetown University professor Fathali Mogahddam, who grew up under a dictatorship, about why people are drawn to authoritarian leaders and how to break the spell. Also in the hour, the concept of authoritative parenting. We’ll talk about different parenting philosophies and how they influence children with Oberlin College professor of psychology Nancy Darling.

Physician Jeremy Nobel says loneliness is “the most human of feelings and a call to creative self-expression and connection.” His organization, The Foundation for Art and Healing, uses the arts to reconnect us with ourselves and other people. We’ll talk to Nobel about the power of creativity and about his new book, Project Unlonely. We’ll also look at music therapy as medicine. Whether playing an instrument, singing a song or listening to a favorite piece, music therapist Joke Bradt has found music can reduce pain among cancer patients and rebuild connections. She is the director of the Music, Creativity and Wellness Lab at Drexel University.

Ross Gay gave himself an assignment: notice something that gave him delight, write about it quickly and in longhand, every day for a year. His new book, The Book of (More) Delights is about paying attention to the world around him and being attuned to joy and gratitude. It’s a sequel to his bestselling The Book of Delights. Ross Gay joins us to talk about the connection between joy and sorrow, which he compares to the underground fungal networks of the forest. Gay teaches writing at Indiana University and grew up in Bucks County, a diehard fan of the 76ers. So we’ll also talk about his book length poem, Be Holding, an ode to Dr. J’s gravity-defying layup. [originally aired September 22]

We’re often told to learn from our mistakes. But Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson says not all failures are created equal. Edmondson argues in her new book, The Right Kind of Wrong, that there’s too much emphasis on the fear of failure or “fail fast, fail often” thinking, but what people should focus on is intelligent failures, the missteps that comes from smart, calculated risk-taking. We talk about how failing well can be the best way forward.

Anxiety feels terrible…the heart palpitations, nausea, sweaty palms, problems sleeping and concentrating, the overwhelming sense of danger or impending doom. No wonder we try to ignore it, control it or over-medicate to make it go away. The problem is that approach only makes matters worse. Harvard University psychologist David Rosmarin says we’re better off befriending anxiety then smothering it. Rosmarin is the founder of the Center for Anxiety and he joins us this Friday to discuss his new book, Thriving with Anxiety. He says we should think of anxiety as a smoke alarm which signals there’s a problem that needs fixing. Rather than banishing anxiety, we can use it to learn to live with uncertainty, connect with others and be more compassionate to ourselves.

We are exploring loss, grief, and death from two different perspectives in this week’s episode. We start with a mother who lost her daughter Adelaide to epilepsy just shy of her 4th birthday. Kelly Cervantes has written a guide to navigating loss, Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for When it’s Time to Heal But You’re Not Sure You Want to. Then, a palliative care physician on the lessons she’s learned supporting patients and their families through illness and at the end of life. Dr. Sunita Puri talks about reckoning with the impermanence of life and how to honor it.

Adam Grant says that perfectionists get three things wrong: they obsess about silly and insignificant details, they avoid taking risks that could lead to growth and they don’t learn from their mistakes because they’re too busy beating themselves up. Grant should know. He writes about his perfectionist tendencies in his new book, Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things. He says rather than striving for flawlessness, real achievement comes from making mistakes, putting yourself in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations, standing up for your values, asking for advice, connecting with others and tapping into something he calls “harmonious passion.” Adam Grant joins us to talk about being a recovering perfectionist and how to unlock the hidden talents we all have.

Parenting doesn’t stop once children reach adulthood, but it certainly changes. One of the big questions parents wrestle with is — how much should I be involved in my adult child’s life….when they are in college, starting their careers, finding romantic partners, and needing financial support? We talk with Temple University psychology professor Laurence Steinberg, who has written a guide to parenting twenty and thirty-somethings called, You and Your Adult Child.

When Maia Szalavitz was in the throes of her drug addiction she was injecting speed balls, a mixture of heroin and cocaine, as much as 40 times a day. She is one of the lucky ones who survived her addiction, got good quality treatment and is now a journalist who covers addiction and drug policies. She joins us to talk about how trauma, temperament, despair and mental illness drive our drug epidemic and why the war on drugs has has been a colossal failure by criminalizing users and promoting myths and misconceptions about drug use. Her book, Undoing Drugs, is about the promise of a harm reduction approach to addiction which removes stigma and humanizes the users. It grew out of the activism of the AIDS crisis of the 1980’s. She writes that drug overdoses kill more Americans every year than guns and that it’s time to completely rethink our approach to policy and treatment.

Why do so many of us like to gossip? Are we just heartless, taking pleasure in other peoples’ misery by spreading malicious secrets or unsubstantiated rumors? Or is it more complicated than that? This episode, we explore the roots and reasons for gossip. One popular theory argues it’s part of our social evolution, helping our ancestors survive by sharing vital information about others and by creating connections between members of the group. But, there are downsides to gossip, especially when it’s done to gain status, get revenge or when it’s a lie. Our guests are linguist Deborah Tannen and social psychologist Frank McAndrew.