Three Percent

This week, Blake and Jamie invite listeners into a real-time Top Plate coaching call with 3% community member Dustin Duvall. In this session, Dustin brings his honest history about stress, being a good husband, overwhelm, and the pressure to carry everything at once.Together they unpack what a Top Plate actually is—the one thing in your life that requires the most attention—and how naming it can radically shift the way you show up for your family, your work, and yourself.This is a practical and deeply human episode about burnout, boundaries, internal narratives, and the courage it takes to ask for help. If you’re feeling stretched thin or unsure how to keep all the plates spinning, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and next steps.TakeawaysYour “Top Plate” is the area of life demanding the most attention—and naming it brings relief.Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s your body telling the truth.You can’t lead others well if you’re constantly abandoning yourself.Most overwhelm comes from unspoken expectations and silent pressure.Compassion and honesty are more effective motivators than shame.You don’t need to fix everything at once; you need to take the next right step.Chapters(00:00) Welcome & What a Top Plate Coaching Call Is(03:40) Dustin’s Story & Current Stress Points(07:15) Identifying the Real Top Plate(11:50) Why Overwhelm Feels Like Failure(15:00) The Emotional Cost of Carrying Everything(18:30) When Performance Becomes Your Identity(22:00) Listening to Your Body’s “Alarm System”(26:40) Blake’s Coaching: Finding the Pressure Valve(30:10) What Happens When You Name the Real Issue(34:20) Dustin’s Breakthrough: Permission to Slow Down(38:00) Boundaries, Leadership, and Family Health(42:00) Choosing What Matters Most Right Now(46:00) The First Next Step(49:30) Final Coaching ReflectionsKeywordsTop Plate, coaching, emotional health, burnout, overwhelm, stress, leadership, boundaries, self-awareness, nervous system, family, identity, masculinity, spiritual formation, Three Percent

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with bestselling author and therapist Aundi Kolber for a powerful conversation about trauma, compassion, the inner critic, and learning to “try softer.”Aundi shares openly about growing up in an abusive home, how her fierce inner critic helped her survive, and why healing doesn’t come through trying harder—but through a compassionate, regulated relationship with ourselves and others. They unpack attachment, window of tolerance, neurobiology, and why men especially struggle to let go of performance and self-hatred.This is an episode about shifting from survival mode to connection. About befriending the parts of us we’ve pushed away. And about discovering that compassion is not weakness—it’s strength that doesn’t fold.TakeawaysYour inner critic was born for a reason—it helped you survive.Healing happens when we can be with our pain, not in our pain.Compassion is both tender and fierce: soft toward wounds, strong toward safety.Our window of tolerance expands in the presence of regulated, safe relationships.You don’t have to tell everyone everything—honesty requires discernment and safety.Trying Softer is not giving up; it’s choosing connection over self-punishment.We can reassign our inner critic’s job—from attacking us to discerning what’s good for us.Chapters(00:00) Aundi’s Story & Meeting the Inner Critic(04:00) Growing Up in Abuse: The Origin of Hyper-Vigilance(08:00) Trauma, Sensitivity & Why Our Parts Form(12:00) Reframing the Inner Critic: A Protector, Not an Enemy(15:00) Attachment, Performance & Getting Needs Met(18:00) How the Body Shrinks its Window of Tolerance(21:00) What Regulation Really Means(24:00) Why Safe Relationships Expand Our Capacity(27:00) Vulnerability, Men’s Groups & Discernment(30:00) Numbing, Shutdown & Forced Dorsal States(33:00) Befriending the Pain We Learned to Fear(37:00) What It Means to “Try Softer”(40:00) Compassion That Doesn’t Fold(45:00) Letting Fierce Compassion Set Boundaries(48:00) Shame, “Still,” and Resentment Toward Our Parts(52:00) Trying Softer as a Lifelong Posture(55:00) The Surprises of Aundi’s Work(58:00) What Gives Aundi Hope(01:00:00) Loaves & Fishes: Being a Steward of Pain(01:02:00) What’s Next for AundiResourcesTry Softer — Aundi Kolber Strong Like Water — Aundi KolberTake What You Need — Aundi KolberKeywordsAundi Kolber, Try Softer, Strong Like Water, trauma recovery, inner critic, self-compassion, window of tolerance, attachment, CPTSD, abuse recovery, neurobiology, IFS, shame, masculinity, emotional health, compassion, boundaries, healing, spiritual formation, Three Percent podcast

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Ben Zobrist, former MLB player and two-time World Series champion, for a vulnerable and deeply human conversation about identity, faith, and what happens when the cheering stops.Ben shares openly about the transition out of professional baseball, the loss of structure and purpose that followed, and how faith became a place of wrestling rather than performance. Together, they explore the tension between success and surrender, what it means to be truly known, and the slow, humble work of healing when your identity is stripped away.This isn’t a story about baseball—it’s a story about becoming whole.TakeawaysSuccess can hide the deeper questions about who we are and where we belong.Leaving a career built on performance can expose old wounds around identity and worth.Faith doesn’t eliminate pain—it gives us a way to be honest in it.Real healing happens through community, rest, and humility.You can lose what you do and still discover who you are.Check out more from Ben Zobrist: Instagram – @benzobrist18 Learn more about Champion ForwardLearn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercent.coChapters(00:00) Welcome & Introducing Ben Zobrist(04:10) Life After Baseball: The Unknown Season(09:20) When Identity Is Built on Performance(13:50) The Hidden Cost of Success(18:30) Wrestling with Faith in the Middle of Loss(22:00) Learning to Rest After Years of Drive(27:10) What Healing Has Looked Like for Ben(31:30) Community, Therapy, and Honest Friendship(36:00) Lessons from Baseball That Still Apply(41:20) Redefining Winning in Life and Faith(45:00) Final Reflections and GratitudeResources🎧 Related episodes:Healing the Heart After Trauma with Dr. Thomas CabellThe Strength Men Need to Reclaim with Marc TypoA Practical Guide to Engaging Your EmotionsKeywordsBen Zobrist, MLB, baseball, faith, identity, mental health, healing, masculinity, success, performance, transition, purpose, humility, emotional health, spiritual formation, life after sports, Three Percent podcast

Justin Whitmel Earley, an author and lawyer dedicated to spiritual formation and family life, shares profound insights on building a peaceful household. He reflects on his journey from missionary life to the corporate world, revealing how small, intentional habits can shape love and attention. They dive into the disconnection caused by hustle culture and the importance of embodied practices like prayer and family meals. Justin advocates for starting with simple habits to cultivate a healthy, holy life, underscoring that our daily routines influence who we become.

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Dr. Thomas Cabell, a physician and teacher whose decades of experience in medicine and spiritual formation have shaped his holistic view of health and healing. In a world that treats brokenness as something to hide or fix, Dr. Cabell offers a countercultural perspective: that healing is not the absence of pain—it’s the restoration of connection.Together they explore how the body and soul are deeply intertwined, how medicine and faith can work hand-in-hand, and why true health includes emotional honesty, rest, and relationship. With stories from his medical career, spiritual reflections, and grounded wisdom, Dr. Cabell reminds us that becoming whole is less about control and more about courage.TakeawaysHealing is a return to connection—within ourselves, with others, and with God.The body is always telling the truth; symptoms are invitations, not failures.Busyness and disconnection are often modern forms of sickness.Listening deeply—to our bodies, our emotions, and each other—is a healing act.Integrating medicine, psychology, and faith offers a fuller picture of human flourishing.Check out more of Dr. Thomas Cabell:  Ascension Health ProfileLearn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercentcoChapters(00:00) Introduction & Why We Avoid Stillness(04:30) Dr. Cabell’s Journey into Medicine and Ministry(10:20) What Patients Teach Us About Healing(14:50) How the Body and Spirit Speak the Same Language(20:00) Disconnection as the Root of Disease(26:30) The Power of Presence in Medicine(31:00) When Helping Becomes Hiding(37:00) Integrating Faith, Medicine, and Mental Health(43:20) How Rest and Play Restore Wholeness(48:10) What True Healing Looks Like(53:00) Final Reflections & EncouragementKeywordsDr. Thomas Cabell, healthcare, holistic health, spiritual formation, medicine and faith, emotional healing, embodiment, presence, rest, connection, trauma healing, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, wholeness, soul care, Three Percent podcast

In this conversation, Lexy Florentina, a somatic experiencing practitioner, offers transformative insights on healing trauma through body awareness. She emphasizes that the body is an ally, not an enemy, highlighting how its reactions are adaptive survival strategies. Lexy discusses the cultural conditioning that disconnects men from their emotions, advocating for curiosity over control to foster healing. The episode includes a guided somatic exercise, encouraging listeners to notice and honor their bodily sensations, ultimately reconnecting with their innate agency.

In this heartfelt and practical conversation, Blake and Jamie dive deep into attachment science — exploring how our earliest relationships shape the way we connect, protect, and seek safety today. Drawing from both research and their own friendship, they unpack the four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized — and describe them through vivid metaphors: the pasture, jungle, desert, and war zone.They share personal stories of conflict and repair, offering a hopeful look at how awareness and compassion can help us move toward emotional safety. This episode is a guide to understanding your relational patterns and choosing connection over protection.TakeawaysYour attachment style isn’t a flaw — it’s an adaptive strategy that once kept you safe.Awareness is the first step, but healing happens in relationship.Secure attachment (“the pasture”) is built through safety, consistency, and repair.Avoidance, anxiety, and chaos are often just unhealed attempts to find connection.The goal isn’t perfection; it’s movement toward honesty, empathy, and safety.ResourcesEmbodied Faith by Jeff & Cyd Holsclaw – https://www.embodiedfaith.life/Dr. Curt Thompson – Author and speaker on attachment & spiritual formation https://curtthompsonmd.com/attachment-theory-i/Related Episodes:A Practical Guide to Engaging Your EmotionsSuicide Prevention MonthEmotions for Dummies (Like Us)Learn more about Three Percent:www.threepercentco.comInstagram – @threepercent.coChapters(00:00) Welcome & Why We’re Talking About Attachment (04:15) What Is Attachment Science? (09:40) How Our Childhood Shapes Our Style of Connection(14:30) The War Zone – Disorganized/Ambivalent Attachment(18:50) The Jungle – Anxious Attachment (23:10 )The Desert – Avoidant Attachment (28:00) The Pasture – Secure Attachment (31:45) Blake’s Story: Growing Up Without Emotional Safety(36:20) Jamie’s Story: Learning to Stay Present in Conflict (40:30) How Attachment Shows Up in Our Friendship (44:10) The Role of Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation (48:00) Moving Toward the Pasture: Repair and Connection(53:00) How Faith and Attachment Intersect (57:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement for the WeekKeywordsattachment, attachment theory, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, disorganized attachment, emotional safety, friendship, faith, therapy, trauma healing, co-regulation, nervous system, parenting, relationships, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, Three Percent, mental health, emotional literacy, self-awareness, connection, neuroscience, grace, growth

In this week’s episode, we sit down with New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host Annie F. Downs—known by many as the “Queen of Fun.” Annie shares with us her journey of embracing both joy and pain, and how cultivating delight in everyday life can reconnect us to God, ourselves, and others. Together we explore the tension between being hopeful and bypassing pain, how to discern what parts of our story are private vs. public, and why fun is more than just entertainment—it’s a taste of eternity. Annie invites us to rediscover what our five-year-old selves loved, and how those simple joys can bring healing and hope today.LinksAnnie F. Downs: anniefdowns.comThat Sounds Fun Podcast: Listen hereBook: That Sounds Fun https://amzn.to/42s5ObFUpcoming Tour Dates with CAIN: caintheband.comReforesting Faith: What Trees Teach Us About the Nature of God and His Love for Us by Matthew Sleeth https://amzn.to/42seuPoTakeawaysFun is not frivolous—it’s a spiritual practice that points us to eternity.Vulnerability requires discernment: knowing what belongs to your private life and what can be shared publicly.Hope can be both a practice and a feeling—sometimes we “put it on like a jacket” before we fully believe it.Settling into our humanness allows us to extend grace to ourselves and to others.Men especially need to reclaim fun and kindness toward themselves, not just others.Chapters(00:00) – Putting on Hope Like a Jacket(02:00) – Meet Annie F. Downs: Author, Speaker, Podcaster(05:00) – Onsite, Vulnerability, and Healing(10:00) – Public, Personal, and Private Lives(18:00) – The Tension Between Hope and Spiritual Bypassing(25:00) – Settling Into Humanness and Grace(29:00) – Why Fun Matters for Men(35:00) – Listening to Your Five-Year-Old Self(41:00) – Fun as a Taste of Eternity(44:00) – Be Kind to Yourself(46:00) – Annie’s Upcoming Tour and Projects(48:00) – Pizza, Shirley Temples, and Madeleine L’EngleKeywordsAnnie F. Downs, That Sounds Fun, hope, fun, faith, vulnerability, Onsite, private vs. public life, therapy, humanness, grace, joy, eternity, childhood delight, masculinity, emotional health, three percent podcast

Join Dr. John Deloney, a best-selling author and mental health expert, as he explores what true strength means in today's world. Delve into his journey from punk rock roots to discovering the importance of vulnerability and connection. He shares how unprocessed trauma impacts families and emphasizes that men must first believe they are worthy of love. Learn about his transformative therapy experiences and how they helped reconnect with his daughter. John highlights the power of grieving, challenging traditional views of masculinity, and finding peace over performance.

What does it mean to live with a faith that feels real in the middle of life’s messiness? This week we sit down with pastor, father of five, and director of discipleship at Pillar Media, Chad Mondragon. Chad shares about his family story, his journey through church ministry into media, and the launch of The Jesus Table—a platform designed to meet people where they are with honest discipleship.Together we talk about:Why the bravest thing men can do is take the risk of vulnerabilityHow the epidemic of loneliness is shaping faith and masculinity todayWhat real connection looks like at home, at church, and with friendsThe role of questions, doubts, and honesty in a faith that feels realWhy family dinners, small groups, and even workouts can be places of healingChad reminds us that courage in manhood isn’t just scaling mountains—it’s opening up to safe people, risking vulnerability, and discovering that we’re more deeply loved than we fear.Links & Resources Mentioned:Chad’s work: thejesustable.comFollow The Jesus Table on InstagramFathered by God by John EldredgeChapters (00:00) – Introducing Chad Mondragon (04:00) – Family, youth ministry, and the value of dinner table conversations (13:00) – From planting churches to discipleship in media (20:00) – The loneliness epidemic & men’s need for connection(27:00) – Faith that feels real: questions, doubts, and vulnerability (39:00) – Risking love through honesty (54:00) – The Jesus Table projectKeywords:Chad Mondragon, The Jesus Table, loneliness epidemic, faith that feels real, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, discipleship, family, John Eldredge, Fathered by God, men’s ministry, F3, connection, Pillar Media