
How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Yes, you can get a great girlfriend! And dating coach Connell Barrett will show you how to confidently connect with women by being authentic—no creepy pickup moves needed. On the How to Get a Girlfriend Podcast, Connell offers the kinds of tested dating tips he shared in his bestselling book, Dating Sucks but You Don’t, and in his TV appearances (GMA, “Today.”) In his 12 years as a coach, Connell has helped thousands of men in 17 countries find love. No wonder Psychology Today named him “America’s top dating coach for men.” Connell personally faced—and fixed—every common dating problem, from not knowing how to flirt to dating-app struggles to low self-confidence. After meeting his dream girlfriend Jess, Connell now helps nice guys and gentlemen find love by dating with “Radical Authenticity.” Ready to meet your soulmate? Join Connell and his expert guests every week for game-changing advice. Carpe date ’em. Seize the date!
Latest episodes

Jul 17, 2025 • 30min
The Content Trap: Use My ‘80/20 Rule’ to Go from Overthinking to Effortless Flirting
Social media is ruining your love life. You watch tons of dating advice, but you still struggle with women, right? You’ve fallen into the Content Trap—trying to remember so many tips that you overthink every move. In this episode, dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett reveals why consuming too much TikTok or YouTube content kills your confidence. And his ‘80/20 Rule’ will help unlock your most fun, flirty, authentic self—without trying hard. Because women like you for YOU, not your “game.” Period.You’re About to Learn:01:07: Why Brett’s Try-Hard First Dates Lead to Rejection07:11: Why Treating Women Like “Results” Kills Connection10:14: The Cringe Date that Taught Connell a Priceless Lesson18:31: How the ‘80/20’ Rule Gets You Out of Your Head and Into Her Heart26:29: The Three P’s to Unlock Great First Dates27:50: Stop Consuming Content—Do THIS InsteadFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:www.datingtransformation.comWANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jul 15, 2025 • 1h 6min
The Neuroscience of Attraction: How to Rewire Your Brain for Dating Success (with Harvard’s Dr. Ali Binazir)
Ever wonder, “Am I enough to find love?” Harvard-educated physician Ali Binazir has a hopeful answer! The man behind the “Trillion Sided Dice” theory of existence (seriously, it’ll break your brain) shares his own dating journey—still a virgin at 23—and the breakthroughs that changed everything. Plus, Binazir, co-author of the bestselling book “The 5 Hidden Love Questions,” explains why approach anxiety is hardwired into your brain, how to flip limiting beliefs, and reveals his charisma formula to help you become more magnetic.You’re About to Learn:01:14: The Trillion-Sided Dice Theory: Why Your Existence Is Literally a Miracle06:22: How Gratitude Can Destroy Your Fear of Dating Rejection13:23: The 5 Hidden Love Questions that Sabotage Your Romantic Life20:31: The Science Behind Your Fear of Approaching—and How to Start Meeting Women27:59: How Dr. Ali Went from a Virgin at Age 23 to Dating Success41:58: The Neuroscience of Happiness: Why Being Happy Attracts Love56:07: The 30-Second Charisma Formula to Create AttractionLEARN MORE ABOUT DR. ALI BINAZIR: http://TaoOfDating.com and http://HappinessEngineering.comGET ‘THE 5 HIDDEN LOVE QUESTIONS’ ON AMAZONFREE TRAINING:Get Dr. Ali’s “Super Charisma: How to Be a Transformative Speaker” course free at http://TaoOfDating.comTO TAKE DR. ALI’s ‘TUNE UP YOUR LIFE’ COURSE: Email him at DrAliB@TaoOfDating.com or DrAli@HappinessEngineering.comFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND: Datingtransformation.com

Jul 10, 2025 • 1h 11min
From Invisible to Irresistible: The 7 Dating Superpowers that Ignite Attraction—Even if You’re Shy or Introverted
Why do some men effortlessly attract women while guys like you get overlooked? It comes down to mastering the 7 Dating Superpowers. Dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett reveals the 7 super attractors that make women think, “Wow, he’s different from other guys!” Whether you want to confidently approach, take your texting skills to new levels, or have great first dates, this encore episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend” will help you transform your love life.Here are the 7 Dating Superpowers You’re About to Learn:9:43: Fearless Approaching so You Can Start Conversations with Women Anywhere15:07: Effortless Flirting so You Can Be Charming and Attractive21:15: Magnetic Charisma so Women Feel Drawn to Your Authentic Self34:14: Unshakable Confidence so “Rejection” Can’t Hurt You40:03: Top-Tier Texting so You’ll Go from “Unread” to Setting Up Dates51:33: Vibe Mastery so Your Dates Are Flirty and Sexy59:48: Decisive Leadership so Women Trust You and See You as Boyfriend MaterialDiscover your dating superpower and become irresistible—as your most authentic self (no creepy pickup moves needed!)FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:http://www.datingtransformation.comWANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL'S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, "DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON'T"? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE "FREE BOOK" IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU'LL GET IT INSTANTLY:Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jul 8, 2025 • 45min
The Professional Man’s Paradox: Why You Succeed at Work but Struggle with Women (with Matchmaker Lisa Goodman)
Isn’t it frustrating to achieve career success yet struggle with women? Dating coach Connell Barrett calls this the “Professional Man’s Dating Paradox.” Simply put, the communication skills that help you excel at work can actually hurt your love life. Renowned matchmaker Lisa Goodman, of Selective Search, is here to help. Goodman reveals why your career strengths can be dating weaknesses—and shares proven strategies to turn boardroom skills into romantic confidence. Get ready to succeed not just at work, but in dating too!You’re About to Learn:07:33: Why You Should Pick Up the Phone Instead of Texting10:31: The Right Way to Talk to Women on First Dates21:31: How to Tell if Your Date is Going Well (It’s All in Her Eyes)34:00: The Truth About First Kisses (When and How to Go for It)40:10: Why Women Want You to Approach Them (Straight from a Female Expert)LEARN MORE ABOUT LISA GOODMAN AND SELECTIVE SEARCH MATCHMAKING:http://www.selectivesearch.comFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:http://www.datingtransformation.comGET A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, ‘DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T’:Email Connell: Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jul 3, 2025 • 39min
7 Make-or-Break Dating Moments to Either Get the Girl… or Get Friend-Zoned
The difference between finding love or staying stuck can come down to small but pivotal moments of truth. Like when a conversation with a woman is going well, but you play it safe and don’t go for her number. Or when fear stops you from going for the first kiss on a date. In this episode, dating coach Connell Barrett reveals 7 make-or-break dating moments that determine whether you get the girl… or stay frustrated. Handle these turning points right, and you’ll be closer to the dream relationship you want.You’re About to Learn:05:35: The Secret Weapon to Approach Any Woman You Want10:28: How to Walk Away with Her Phone Number, Not Regrets14:15: The First Kiss Secret You MUST Know21:48: The “Three Times” Texting Rule that Gets Women Messaging You Back27:54: How to Handle Last-Minute Cancellations without Looking Desperate30:48: The Right Way to Pass “Tests” Without Losing Sight of Your Authentic Self35:22: How to Ask Her to Be Your Girlfriend—Without Making It WeirdFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:http://www.datingtransformation.comWANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON'T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU'LL GET IT INSTANTLY:Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jul 1, 2025 • 1h 5min
Sex Tips for Shy Guys: How to Touch Her, Talk Dirty and Rock Her World (with Sex Coach Kirsten Trammell)
Are you unsure what to do in bed—and worried you won’t please her the first time you’re intimate? Sex coach Kirsten Trammell, host of “The Naked Connection” podcast, shares insider secrets on how to rock a woman’s world. If you’re inexperienced sexually—or even a virgin—don’t worry. Kirsten’s tested, practical sex tips will help make you confident in the bedroom, so you can give that special woman an unforgettable, connected sexual experience.What You’ll Learn:07:00: The Mindset That Makes Sex Connected and Unforgettable10:30: Should You Tell Her You’re a Virgin? The Surprising Truth!22:12: How to Make Her Feel Sexy and Safe27:52: The ‘Bullseye Method’ that Instantly Improves Foreplay33:53: Consent Is Sexy: How to Ask the Right Way39:25: What to Say During Sex to Turn Her On55:52: She Asked You To ‘Choke’ Her in Bed? Here’s What It Really MeansListen now and discover how emotional nakedness leads to incredible physical connection!TO WORK WITH KIRSTEN TRAMMELL:http://www.thenakedconnection.comFOLLOW KIRSTEN ON INSTAGRAM:@nakedconnectionFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING IS RIGHT FOR YOU:http://www.datingtransformation.com

Jun 26, 2025 • 52min
From Frozen to Fearless! True Stories of Shy Guys Who Beat Approach Anxiety and Found Love IRL
Want to approach women IRL—but you freeze up or overthink it? Connell Barrett, bestselling author and top dating coach, helps shy men meet wonderful women without pickup lines or weird tricks. In this episode, hear how guys like you overcame anxiety, walked up to women in bars, bookstores and gyms, and sparked real-life romance.You’re About to Learn:02:42: How Short, Shy Ken Scored His First Kiss Ever—with a Tall, Stylish Blonde16:03: What Ash Said to the Cutest Girl at the Bar to Make Her Swoon24:30: The Bold Coaching Move that Shattered Edward’s Social Anxiety and Led to a Date35:12: Raj’s Charming Bookstore Chat that Made Emily say, “You Made My Day!”43:17: Jared the Navy Captain’s Breakthrough that Crushed His Approach Fear for GoodApproaching isn’t something to fear—it’s your fastest path to romance and love!DO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND? BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, "DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON'T":Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jun 24, 2025 • 50min
20 Dating Lessons That Took Me 20 Years to Master—You’ll Learn Them by Lunch (Special Series!)
Struggling in your love life? Low on dates and confidence? Twenty years ago, Connell Barrett was in your shoes. So he began a journey to fix his dating problems. To mark his 20th year in the dating trenches, Connell kicks off a new series. In this premiere episode, he reveals 20 powerful, practical tips straight from his #1 Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t.” Here’s the good news: You don’t have to spend years swiping, approaching and dating. You can start to transform your love life today—and meet your dream girlfriend in 20 weeks instead of 20 years!What You’ll Learn:5:20: Why Being Radically Authentic is Your Secret Weapon9:00: Myth-buster: Your Looks Don’t Matter to Women—This Does10:58: The Bulletproof Dating App Opener that Gets Replies16:09: The Secret to Flirting that Changes Everything20:15: How to Smoothly Go for the First Kiss30:43: The 15-Minute Morning Routine that Builds True Confidence35:52: How to Make Her See You as Her Dream Boyfriend37:32: Getting Consent Can Turn Her On (Yes, Really!)44:10: The NEW Way to Text Women: A Simple FrameworkListen now and start your own dating transformation—without waiting two decades!DO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND? BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, "DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON'T":Connell@datingtransformation.com

Jun 19, 2025 • 47min
The Speed Dating Move that Drives Women Wild: Why Vulnerability Wins Every Time (Featuring Kavita Ajwani)
You struggle to connect with women, right? What if you could confidently walk into a crowded room and get numbers from women who find you utterly charming? You actually can—when you get great at speed dating! In this episode, dating coach Connell Barrett welcomes speed dating expert Kavita Ajwani. As a woman, Kavita—founder of Dashing Date—knows what women really want from men. You’re about to learn why vulnerability, not pickup tactics, is your secret weapon for attracting women.Episode Highlights Include:02:21: Why Vulnerability is Your Most Underrated Dating Superpower06:45: The Question that Takes Dates from Small Talk to Deep Connection12:52: The One Topic that Instantly Helps Women Feel Safe17:25: How Being a “Nerd” Actually Attracts Women24:34: Your Speed Dating Masterclass: 3 Moves that Get You Matches and Dates42:37: How Kavita’s Coaching Transforms Men’s Love LivesLEARN MORE ABOUT KAVITA AJWANI AND HER COACHING:Follow @DashingDate on InstagramGET KAVITA’S “TO BE DESIRED” MASTERCLASS FOR FREE:DM “Connell” to @DashingDate on Instagram

Jun 17, 2025 • 1h 1min
Textual Healing! Connell’s 4-Part Texting Formula to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
Do you get ghosted on the apps and don’t know why? Do you freeze up on dates because you’re not sure what to talk about? Would you love to meet women at the gym, but you’re worried you’ll seem creepy? In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett gives you step-by-step solutions to all of these issues. Plus, you’ll discover his simple texting formula that will make it easy to spark attraction with wonderful women.You’re About to Learn:03:34: Why You Get Ghosted & How to Finally Fix It04:45: The Fatal Texting Mistake that Kills Attraction07:20: Connell’s 4-Part Texting Formula: Play, Play, Play… Then Pull the Trigger!18:39: Should You Use ChatGPT when Texting? The Answer Will Surprise You26:00: How “Interview Mode” Can Be… A Good Thing?!31:31: 8 Flirty Questions to Make First Dates Fun39:57: How to Go for the First Kiss without Making it Weird44:48: The Charming Way to Meet Women at the Gym—and NEVER Be Creepy56:08: The Exact Number of Texts to Send Before Asking Her OutFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:http://www.datingtransformation.comWANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:Connell@datingtransformation.com