Charting Toward Intimacy

Did you know there are two main types of desire? Spontaneous and Responsive.If you feel like your desire is always lacking or you "never" feel like having sex, you might have responsive desire. Guess what: You're not broken at all. In fact, you're completely normal.When it comes to desire, sometimes just the knowledge of what kind of desire you have can help so much!___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Sex is a window to something greater. It is an icon, or image, of God's love for us. Even within good, faithful Catholic marriages, sex can be a point of contention because we aren't seeing God through sex and our sexual relationship. We're looking at sex not through sex. When you switch your mindset and start to look through sex toward God, it becomes easier to love your spouse. (not EASY, it becomes EASIER!)___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Want to get started with NFP but don't know where to go? Heard of NFP but you don't really know what it is? Have some questions about Natural Family Planning that you haven't been able to get a clear answer on? Look no further than this episode.Kathleen and Ellen answer the basic question of "What the heck is NFP?" We go over the cycle, methods of fertility awareness, the difference between birth control and using NFP, and a bunch of frequently asked questions about NFP like "why does is cost money?" and "do I need to have an instructor?"Looking for the method match course or coaching we talked about in the episode? Click here!___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Got questions about your first time? We have answers!Kathleen and Ellen share a little bit about their own first times to make you feel like you're not alone if your first time is.....not so great.We touch on questions like "what lube should we use?" "How do we figure out positions?" "What if we're tired on the wedding night?" "My friend told me about bleeding, what's the deal with that?"Our Lube recommendations: Almond oil or Jojoba OilSex BlanketMentionables (get 10% off with code Ellen10)___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Sister M. Karolyn Nunes is joining us this week to talk about sexual wounds and healing. As the vocation director of her community, Sr. Karolyn helps to direct many women discerning religious life to start their own healing journeys when they have sexual wounds. One of the things lacking in marriage prep is ensuring that the healing process has begun for sexual issues, baggage, addictions, etc. Sr. Karolyn is chatting with us about how we can integrate this healing into our own lives whether we are preparing for marriage or we've been married for 25 years.Interested in the book Sr. Karolyn mentioned? Into Your Hands Father by Wilfred Stinissen___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Let's talk about selfishness and NFP!This episode is stemming from a lot of talk about "contraceptive mentality." We're not really talking about contraceptive mentality in this episode, we're talking about the underlying question behind the conversations about contraceptive mentality:Can NFP be used selfishly? what about if you change the semantics and ask this question: can fertility awareness be used selfishly? The answer is actually different and we dive into what those answers are and why they're different.Here's a hint at the answers: NFP is not self correcting system where if your reason to avoid pregnancy is not "good enough" or "serious enough" you and your spouse won't be able to abstain for the fertile window. That's just not true for many couples.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Ever heard the phrase "It's just not supposed to be this hard!" Maybe you've said it yourself.Well when it comes to your sanctification, it actually probably is supposed to be that hard. Holiness is hard, really hard.We're talking about how holiness is hard in relation to married life.A lot of the time engaged and married couples have a lack of understanding that marriage is for the other person and for sanctification, it's not for you and your happiness. The goal of marriage is to get you to human flourishing, but it's not through easy, it's through hard. When things start getting hard in your marriage, that's when you know you're actually on the right track.Here's some things that are hard in marriage, that actually aren't supposed to be easy:-NFP-Sex-Abstinence-Kids-Pregnancy-FinancesIn this episode we're going to be discussing that while life is hard, and holiness is through hardship, we're not just called to sit back and let the hard make us miserable. We should be actively engaging in the hardness and asking ourselves: how can I grow in holiness in this time? Work like it all depends on you, but pray like it depends on God.Interested in checking out the episode we mentioned about marriage being a battleground? A Letter from St. Valentine to Married Couples | Episode 104Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click HereUse the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off.Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

In this episode we are talking about scheduling sex--pros and cons, when it works and when it doesn't.Scheduling sex is a tool in the arsenal of ways to improve your sexual relationship. But here's the thing, scheduling does not work for every couple. Maybe it works for both of you, neither of you, or maybe it works for one spouse and not the other.For example,Here's a pro for scheduling sex: We give priority to things that are on the schedule. Are you prioritizing sex? If scheduling sex allows you to anticipate it, then scheduling might work great for you!But here's an example on the other side: sometimes life is unpredictable. Flexibility is so important; you need to have that flexibility. When scheduling sex becomes a pressure to have sex even if you have a really hard day, it could set you up for disappointment and duty sex (which is never a good thing).When it comes to scheduling sex, it's not going to work for everybody. There are a lot of different ways to go about scheduling sex and that's what we're talking about in this week's episode. Give it a listen, and maybe give it a try!Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off.Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Ellen and Kathleen are back with another Charting Toward Intimacy episode. This week, we are talking about foreplay. What is foreplay?We have two basic categories for you Anticipatory Foreplay and Escalatory ForeplayAnticipatory Foreplay is simply things that make you anticipate sex at some point in the future. Anticipatory is more emotional in nature, but can still be physical.Escalatory Foreplay is things that lead to arousal and then sex. Escalatory is more physical in nature, but can still be emotional.Anticipatory Foreplay can last a day or two or a week. Escalatory is more immediately leading to sex within the next few minutes or hour (ish), it's different for every couple.Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off.Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Have you ever felt like it's impossible to actually desire sex or to get turned on? Like the pot that doesn't boil until you walk away from it, you might be like us and not get turned on if you're thinking too much about it. It's not until you walk away, or focus on something else that your desire pokes its head out and looks around.We'll talk strategy and tips for getting your own pot to boil!Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off.Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comReady to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses