Reimagining Love

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra gets into the nitty gritty of a common relational challenge: jealousy. Addressing both the jealous individual and their partner, Dr. Alexandra illustrates how jealousy can manifest, what it says about a relationship and how couples can move through the emotion as a team.Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceithttps://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitGet the companion worksheet for this episode:www.dralexandrasolomon.com/jealousySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Resources and help lines for relationship abuse and domestic abuse:https://ncadv.org/resourcesThe Widespread Suspicion of Opposite-Sex Friendships (The Atlantic)https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/08/mistrust-opposite-sex-friendships/596437/Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Romantic Jealousy (Psychology Today)https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201909/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-romantic-jealousyStudy: The Price of Distrust: Trust, Anxious Attachment, Jealousy, and Partner Abusehttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5380380/Study: Romantic Attachment and Subtypes/Dimensions of Jealousyhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2936010/

For this special Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes identical twins Dr. Lindsay Kite and Dr. Lexie Kite to Reimagining Love. Lindsay and Lexie received PhDs in the study of women’s body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Dr. Alexandra dives deep with the Kites to hear about their childhood growing up as identical twins, tracing how the challenges and joys of their sisterhood led them to the important work they do today and how their relationship has evolved through every stage of life.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/More Than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Drs. Lindsay and Lexie Kitehttps://bookshop.org/books/more-than-a-body-your-body-is-an-instrument-not-an-ornament-9780358645573/9780358229247The Kites’ website:https://www.morethanabody.org/about-us/

How do we know when we are too accommodating in relationships, or not accommodating enough? Dr. Alexandra invites therapist and friend Vienna Pharaon on the show to talk about major life transitions and how they can impact our intimate partnerships. Together, they answer a question from a listener who is struggling to adjust to a new city and lifestyle, after having moved where her partner is doing his med school residency.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Vienna Pharaon’s e-course, “The Origins of You”:http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/Vienna Pharaon’s Instagram, @mindfulmfthttps://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/

A listener question about dating after divorce spurs a fascinating discussion between Dr. Alexandra and guest expert Liz Earnshaw, a marriage and family therapist and author of the new book I Want This To Work. Liz and Dr. Alexandra offer encouragement and possibilities to this listener as he considers looking for love in this new chapter.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Referenced in this episode:Liz Earnshaw's book: I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Agehttps://bookshop.org/books/i-want-this-to-work-an-inclusive-guide-to-navigating-the-most-difficult-relationship-issues-we-face-in-the-modern-age/9781683647959Gottman’s “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

The holidays are upon us. How do we want to do things differently this year? Dr. Alexandra discusses how to make the most of gatherings with loved ones, from having compassionate conversations, to taking breaks, to connecting over shared memories.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Games to spark connection and conversation:Table Topics:https://www.tabletopics.com/Heads Up:https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wb.headsup&hl=en_US&gl=USWhere Should We Begin? A Game of Stories (Esther Perel)https://www.estherperel.com/where-should-we-begin-the-gameCatch Phrase:https://www.target.com/p/ultimate-catch-phrase-game/-/A-79749959Love Lingual:https://www.amazon.com/Love-Language-Conversation-Icebreakers-Relationship/dp/B0857JK41W/ref=sr_1_54?keywords=conversation+games&qid=1637347490&sr=8-54Referenced in this episode:Priya Parker in conversation with Krista Tippett:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/priya-parker-remaking-gathering-entering-the-mess/id150892556?i=1000537146183

In this first “Love Stories” episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down in the studio with Moe Ari and his mother, Sandra Brown. Originally assigned female at birth, Moe has used his own gender transition story to help many others discover their authentic voice and navigate the difficult journey of alignment, as a therapist and mindset coach. Moe and Sandra discuss their respective experiences of Moe’s transition, sharing the moments of realization, layers of grief, and unconditional love that allowed them to deepen their relationship through this major transformation.Subscribe to the newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Moe’s website:https://theemoeari.com/moeariMoe’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/loveoutproud/?hl=en Additional resources:Moe Ari on the Mark Groves PodcastThe Gift of Gender Authenticity | Jean Malpas TEDx TalkAckerman Institute's Gender & Family Project

Therapist Shadeen Francis joins Dr. Alexandra to respond to a listener who is interested in opening up her marriage, but is facing resistance from her partner. They use this question as a springboard to explore the topic of disclosed non-monogamy, unmet needs, mental health and communication in a long-term partnership.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Shadeen’s Website:https://shadeenfrancis.com/Shadeen’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/shadeenfrancis/Terry Real's book, "I Don't Want to Talk About It":https://terryreal.com/product/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/ Learn more about the topics covered in this episode:The Flexibility of Female Sexuality with Wednesday Martin (The Psychology Podcast)Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy (Jessica Fern)Relationship Bill of Rights (Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux)

Nick Viall starred on the 21st season of ABC’s The Bachelor and hosts the popular podcast The Viall Files, where he discusses all things Bachelor Nation. On this episode, Dr. Alexandra chats with Nick about the national conversations that The Bachelor franchise spurs about relationships, gender, and dating, and how these conversations can be both productive and divisive. Nick shares experiences and tools from his own relationship and helps Dr. Alexandra answer a listener question about defensiveness. (CW: brief mention of sexual harassment & abuse)Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Dr. Alexandra Solomon: A Clinical Look at the Break-Up of Katie & Greg (The Viall Files):https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-alexandra-solomon-a-clinical-look-at-the-break/id1448210981?i=1000531152178Breaking Down Marriage 101 with Dr. Alexandra Solomon (The Viall Files):https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breaking-down-marriage-101-with-dr-alexandra-solomon/id1448210981?i=1000505891430Nick's Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/nickviall/

Dr. Alexandra is joined by guest expert Dr. Adia Gooden for an in-depth discussion about loving across a cultural difference. Together they answer a listener question and then broaden out to discuss racial, ethnic, religious, and political differences in intimate partnerships. Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Gooden validate the challenges these couples will likely face while also highlighting the beautiful possibilities for growth, richness, and respect between two individuals with different origin stories. This episode also explores the ways that cross-cultural relationships have the potential to send positive reverberations through families, communities, and beyond.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Dr. Adia Gooden’s website:https://dradiagooden.com/Pew: Intermarriage in the U.S. 50 Years After Loving v. Virginia:https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/intermarriage-in-the-u-s-50-years-after-loving-v-virginia/Pew: Interfaith marriage is common in U.S., particularly among the recently wed:https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/06/02/interfaith-marriage/Pew: Shared religious beliefs in marriage important to some, but not all, married Americans:https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/27/shared-religious-beliefs-in-marriage-important-to-some-but-not-all-married-americans/

When one partner is ready and committed to doing the deep emotional work of improving a relationship, and the other partner is not quite there yet, it can feel like a difference that is impossible to bridge. In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explores “Relational Self-Awareness Discrepancies,” sharing tools and ideas that couples can use to generate empathy and move to a place of understanding and growth when faced with this common issue.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Mentioned in this episode:Dr. Gabor Mate: https://drgabormate.com/Dr. Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/