Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Dr. Emily Nagoski comes on the show to talk all things sexuality and pleasure with Dr. Alexandra. They answer two listener questions together and discuss Dr. Emily's work and research around female pleasure as well as burnout and the stress cycle.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Come as You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.https://bookshop.org/books/come-as-you-are-revised-and-updated-the-surprising-new-science-that-will-transform-your-sex-life-9781982165314/9781982165314Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. & Amelia Nagoski, DMAhttps://bookshop.org/books/burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-stress-cycle/9781984818324Dr. Emily Nagoski's Worksheets:Sexual Temperament QuestionnaireSexual Cues Assessment WorksheetTurning Off the Offs WorksheetSexy Contexts WorksheetStress WorksheetThe Nap Ministry @thenapministryhttps://www.instagram.com/thenapministry/?hl=en

Dr. Dan Siegel joins Dr. Alexandra to talk about attachment theory, parenting, and healing intergenerational trauma. Dr. Siegel's work looms large in the worlds of psychology, psychotherapy, and interpersonal neurobiology, and he has published many bestselling books, linked below.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Links to a selection of Dr. Dan Siegel's books:The Whole-Brain ChildThe Mindful TherapistAwareMentioned in this episode:Caste by Isabel WilkersonHow to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Dr. Alexandra is joined by tech entrepreneur Cindy Gallop, who has made waves in the business world. She's the founder of Make Love Not Porn, the world’s first user-generated, human-curated social sex video-sharing platform, socializing and normalizing sex in order to make it easier to talk about sex, and to promote consent, communication, good sexual values and good sexual behavior. Cindy tells the story of MLNP and discusses a listener question with Dr. Alexandra.Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit:https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitMakeLoveNotPorn:https://makelovenotporn.tv/

Deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship in the aftermath of infidelity is not easy, and in this episode, Dr. Alexandra walks through the factors to consider when reeling from this crisis. She poses reflection questions for both partners and situates the crisis of infidelity in research and our cultural context. Dr. Alexandra also announces the launch of her new e-course, Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit, which can be found below.Get the companion worksheet for this episode:www.dralexandrasolomon.com/trustDr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceithttps://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitCU Boulder Infidelity Studyhttps://www.colorado.edu/asmagazine/2018/04/04/extramarital-sex-partners-likely-be-close-friends-and-men-are-more-apt-cheatInfidelity Around the World (The Economist)https://www.economist.com/1843/2018/01/16/infidelity-around-the-worldExtramarital Affairs (Pew Research Center)https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2014/01/14/extramarital-affairs-topline/Post-Traumatic Stress & Infidelity Study (Stress & Health)https://www.researchgate.net/publication/333787481_Posttraumatic_stress_and_psychological_health_following_infidelity_in_unmarried_young_adults

On this Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes on a couple with a stunning story of rebuilding their marriage in the aftermath of infidelity: Kristi Born & Rainier Wylde. Together, they explore the story of their relationship, starting from the day they first met, to the early years of their marriage, to the moment of rupture, and the incredible journey of repair that they continue today. Their story gives us the opportunity to empathize with the pain of infidelity, as well as providing insights about what rebuilding trust can look when both partners are committed to walking forward together.Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceithttps://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitSubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Books on infidelity and related topics:What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal (John Gottman)New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity (Tammy Nelson)The State of Affairs (Esther Perel)The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World (Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu)The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (Bessel Van Der Kolk)Kristi's website:https://www.kristiborn.com/Rainier's website:https://www.rainierwylde.com/

Dating is hard enough, and with so many voices offering advice, opinions, and hot takes, it can be challenging to tune in with yourself and how you really feel about a new prospect. Dr. Alexandra invites Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh on the show to answer a question from a listener who is having this exact challenge, and they discuss ways to regulate the nervous system and tune in with the body before, during, and after a date.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk:https://bookshop.org/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma/9780143127741Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski:https://bookshop.org/books/burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-stress-cycle/9781984818324Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh’s website:https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.saranasserzadeh/

Dr. Holly Richmond joins Dr. Alexandra for a rich discussion about her book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. They also answer a listener question about communicating sexual boundaries in dating situations. (CW: sexual trauma) Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Dr. Holly Richmond’s book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life:https://bookshop.org/books/reclaiming-pleasure-a-sex-positive-guide-for-moving-past-sexual-trauma-and-living-a-passionate-life/9781684038428Dr. Holly Richmond’s free mini-course, “Grounding Exercises for Survivors Reclaiming Pleasure after Sexual Trauma”https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com/freeminicourseDr. Holly Richmond’s Instagram, @drhollyrichmond https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)www.rainn.orgAdditional resources and help lines:https://ncadv.org/resources Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra gets into the nitty gritty of a common relational challenge: jealousy. Addressing both the jealous individual and their partner, Dr. Alexandra illustrates how jealousy can manifest, what it says about a relationship and how couples can move through the emotion as a team.Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceithttps://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitGet the companion worksheet for this episode:www.dralexandrasolomon.com/jealousySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Resources and help lines for relationship abuse and domestic abuse:https://ncadv.org/resourcesThe Widespread Suspicion of Opposite-Sex Friendships (The Atlantic)https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/08/mistrust-opposite-sex-friendships/596437/Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Romantic Jealousy (Psychology Today)https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201909/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-romantic-jealousyStudy: The Price of Distrust: Trust, Anxious Attachment, Jealousy, and Partner Abusehttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5380380/Study: Romantic Attachment and Subtypes/Dimensions of Jealousyhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2936010/

For this special Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes identical twins Dr. Lindsay Kite and Dr. Lexie Kite to Reimagining Love. Lindsay and Lexie received PhDs in the study of women’s body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Dr. Alexandra dives deep with the Kites to hear about their childhood growing up as identical twins, tracing how the challenges and joys of their sisterhood led them to the important work they do today and how their relationship has evolved through every stage of life.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/More Than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Drs. Lindsay and Lexie Kitehttps://bookshop.org/books/more-than-a-body-your-body-is-an-instrument-not-an-ornament-9780358645573/9780358229247The Kites’ website:https://www.morethanabody.org/about-us/

How do we know when we are too accommodating in relationships, or not accommodating enough? Dr. Alexandra invites therapist and friend Vienna Pharaon on the show to talk about major life transitions and how they can impact our intimate partnerships. Together, they answer a question from a listener who is struggling to adjust to a new city and lifestyle, after having moved where her partner is doing his med school residency.Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Vienna Pharaon’s e-course, “The Origins of You”:http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/Vienna Pharaon’s Instagram, @mindfulmfthttps://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/