boy meets therapy

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires. Listeners will learn how therapists can create affirming spaces for clients exploring kink, why shame and secrecy often intertwine with sexual identity, and how healing begins when we integrate these parts of ourselves. Connect with John Gillespie: Website: ⁠Link Here⁠ John's Book (Amazon): ⁠Link Here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠ Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose. Whether you are curious about existential philosophy, reflecting on your love life, or searching for more authenticity, this episode offers both practical takeaways and profound reflection. I would ask yourself, "What do I want things to mean?" Connect with Tyler Mafi: Tyler's Website: ⁠Link Here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠ Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception. Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image. Whether you’ve struggled with body dissatisfaction, questioned how rejection impacts your self-worth, or want to better understand the unique challenges queer men face, this episode offers research-based insights and practical discussion. Connect with Sam Fogarty, LMHC Therapy Practice: ⁠Link Here⁠ PsychologyToday: ⁠Link Here⁠ Sam's Research: ⁠Link Here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Guide & Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Connection 04:01 Body Image in the Gay Community 06:07 Research on Body Ideals 07:52 Understanding Eating Disorders 11:09 Muscularity-Oriented Disordered Eating 15:03 Emotional Needs and Eating Disorders 17:55 Personal Experiences with Body Image 21:17 Fat Phobia and Its Impact 23:48 Reactions to Weight Loss and Acceptance 27:55 Internalized Fat Phobia 31:03 Challenging Body Image Norms 33:23 Exploring Values and Self-Perception 36:32 The Impact of Rejection on Queer Identity 39:29 Intuitive Eating and Movement 40:34 Attraction and Body Image in Queer Relationships 48:26 Healthy Relationships with Body and Self 48:55 Final Thoughts and Memorable Quotes Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today. Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy, why diagnoses like ADHD and autism are both social constructs and powerful tools, and how cultural competence helps clinicians provide truly inclusive treatment. Dr. Wright also shares his perspective on training the next generation of therapists, making assessments more inclusive for queer clients, and using privilege to advocate for marginalized communities. This conversation offers both practical takeaways and big-picture insight into what it means to “queer” mental health and build therapy that sees the whole person. The Wright-Constantine Structured Cultural Interview: ⁠Link⁠ (full copy and paste link at bottom) Tell me on Instagram or in the comments what you thought of the assessment Dr. Wright's Faculty Profile (and publications): ⁠Link here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver *Full copy and past like for the WCSCI: https://steinhardt.nyu.edu/sites/default/files/2023-08/WCSCI%20FINAL-2023.pdf

This episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community. I explore the complex and often misunderstood relationship between gay men and substance use. Too often framed with stigma or silence, this topic deserves a conversation rooted in history, culture, and compassion. I’ll take you through the role bars played as safe havens, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the emergence of chemsex and methamphetamine in gay culture. We’ll also look at how pleasure, coping, stigma, and intergenerational differences shape substance use today. This episode isn’t about prescribing one solution, whether sobriety, harm reduction, or responsible recreational use. Instead, it’s about opening up dialogue, reducing shame, and imagining new ways to support dignity, choice, and connection in our community. Resources: SAMHSA Hotline (24/7, US): 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Crisis Line (US): Call or text 988 boymeetstherapy resources: ⁠click here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships. Connect with Danny Instagram: ⁠@thecoachdannym⁠ TikTok: ⁠@coachdannymorales⁠ Website: ⁠www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ Podcast: ⁠THE DEEP PENETRATION Podcast⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Guide & Chapters 0:00 - 2:00 Introduction 2:01 - 5:30 Meet Danny: The Dating Coach 5:31 - 15:00 Understanding Self-Sabotage 15:01 - 25:00 Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy 25:01 - 35:00 Generational Impact on Dating 35:01 - 45:00 Building Confidence and Authenticity 45:01 - 50:00 Rapid Fire Questions with Danny 50:01 - End Closing Thoughts and Takeaways Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Why is it so hard for gay men to open up emotionally, especially with each other? In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence of masculinity and shame, and how curated social connection can mask deep disconnection. You'll hear about the common ways gay men protect themselves from being seen, why these patterns make sense in a world shaped by rejection, and how we can start to build relationships rooted in emotional honesty. Whether you have struggled to express your needs, avoided conflict, or felt unseen in your closest relationships, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and a path forward. Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Guide & Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:06 Shifting Focus to Queer Men's Issues 05:58 Exploring Vulnerability in Gay Men 09:07 Understanding Vulnerability and Safety 10:59 The Impact of Minority Stress on Emotional Expression 11:24 Understanding Emotional Armor in Gay Men 17:17 The Cost of Avoiding Vulnerability 23:30 Toxic Masculinity and Its Impact 29:26 Micro Vulnerability: A Path to Connection 35:33 The Importance of Being Seen and Vulnerable Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Discover why many gay men struggle to form close friendships and the impact of loneliness on their well-being. Learn about the importance of emotional safety and how vulnerability fosters genuine connections. Dismissing common misconceptions about attraction, the discussion highlights tools to overcome defensiveness and initiate social interactions. Explore creative ways to build community through consistent low-pressure rituals and queer-led activities, emphasizing authentic relationships that go beyond dating and hookup culture.

In this episode of boy meets therapy, Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conversation explores the dangers of conversion practices, the intersection of faith and sexuality, and the resilience it takes to reclaim your truth. Whether you are a survivor, an ally, or seeking to understand, this episode offers insight, compassion, and hope. Dr. Wilson's book of conversion therapy survivors' stories Shame-Sex Attraction is available for pre-order now. Connect with Luke Wilson, PhD: Instagram: ⁠@lukeslamdunkwilson⁠ Academic Papers: ⁠utschools.academia.edu/LucasWilson⁠ Pre-order Shame-Sex Attraction (USA): ⁠link here⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Academic Credentials 03:06 Exploring Identity and Sexuality 06:00 Liberty University: A Conservative Christian Institution 08:47 The Journey into Evangelicalism 12:07 Conversion Therapy: Understanding the Context 14:52 Personal Experiences with Conversion Therapy 17:41 Navigating Queerness in a Conservative Environment 26:06 The Journey into Conversion Therapy 32:26 The Impact of Conversion Therapy on Identity 43:48 Shame and Its Role in Conversion Therapy 48:37 Reflections on Personal Growth and Projection Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy. Whether you're deconstructing your faith, supporting a loved one, or working through your own trauma, this conversation is a must-listen. Connect with Liz Rhea: Instagram: ⁠@lizrheatherapy⁠ Website: ⁠www.lizrheatherapy.com⁠ Connect with boy meets therapy: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠ Episode Guide & Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:09 Understanding Religious Trauma 06:13 The Impact of Environment on Trauma 09:07 Experiences of Religious Trauma 12:08 Personal Stories and Reflections 15:10 Navigating Identity and Faith 17:46 Exploring Queer Identity and Community 19:12 The Process of Deconstruction 23:07 Reclaiming Identity and Rituals 24:47 The Impact of Religious Trauma 28:04 Understanding Sin and Identity 31:39 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy 36:02 Inner Child Work for Queer Individuals 37:12 The Framework of Grief in Healing Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver