boy meets therapy The Psychology of Wanting: From Conditioning to Choice
Why do so many of us struggle to know what we actually want? Why do we think we're doing something we like but it doesn't feel right?
In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation model, this episode unpacks the psychology behind why our motivations can feel confusing and how to move from conditioned wanting to authentic choice.
Dustin breaks down the difference between external validation and inner alignment, explores how childhood attachment patterns influence adult desire, and reflects on the lifelong process of learning to trust what feels real.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your goals, relationships, or ambitions reflect who you are or who you were taught to be, this episode will help you start listening inward with curiosity, compassion, and autonomy.
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Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver