Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Sira Busch received her formal autistic diagnosis a year ago and during this podcast episode she and her partner Marcel share their lived experience before and after the diagnosis.  They were both interested in math and that was one of the things that attracted them to each other.  Sira talks about the relationship she has had with herself for the last 28 years and how she fully accepted all the differences she saw, even though others may not have understood them.  Sira shares how she was often observing her feelings and herself through her own beautiful lens.  Sira wants to go on adventures alone and enjoys observing life in her own way.  Marcel and Sira both do power building and love sharing that common interest.  They talk about the way in which they make their meal time together work, the importance of Sira's routines and how they each treasure their own individual rooms and space, but have also created ways in which they can both have quality time together.  Sira addresses the accomodations she needed at work, but didn't get, and how that created some challenges with employment. This is another wonderful episode that you may want to listen to with your partner.  Sira and Marcel have found such a beautiful flow that works for both of them to get their needs met, understand each other's routines and view their neurodiversity as a gift that gives them opportunities to grow as individuals and as a couple. Sira just published a book on norms and stereotypes .  The book is in German, but if you want to check it our here are 2 links to her book: https://www.lektora.de/buecher/weltbilder/ https://www.amazon.co.uk/Weltbilder-Normen-Stereotype-Gleichberechtigung-verhindern/dp/3954612267 You can also follow Sira  on Instagram @omnomnomknusper _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode.  Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Do you wonder why your partner doesn't understand your needs?  Do you have challenges communicating your boundaries effectively in your Neurodiverse Love relationship? Do you know what emotional intelligence is and how it can help you communicate more effectively with your partner?  These are some of the important topics that Paul Micallef addresses in this fantastic podcast episode!  Paul has had a successful career as an engineer and from a young age he had an interest in emotional intelligence (EI) and has spent his life becoming an expert in this area.  Diagnosed at 30, Paul started sharing his autistic journey on social media through his channel Asperger's from the Inside.  Through his numerous YouTube videos, coaching sessions and courses, he has provided guidance to SO many people who are also on a neurodiverse journey.  Through his on-line work, Paul serves as a translator and helps autistic and non-autistic people better understand the strategies and tools they can both use to understand how to let go of unconscious expectations! Paul provides his EI courses on-line to help those who have a logical, rational brain understand the skills they need to increase their emotional intelligence. Paul also shares the strategies he uses to thrive in life and his neurodiverse relationship.  Being open about his lived experience and sharing his expertise, Paul is helping neurodivesre couples around the world learn how to understand themselves and each other better  This is another insightful, valuable episode that you may want to listen to with you partner.   Enjoy! If you want to learn more about the fantastic work Paul is doing, please check out his website at: www.paulmicallef.com.au You can also check out his YouTube channel at: Aspergers from the Inside __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode.  Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

When Stephanie Bethany married her husband at 19 she didn't know she was autistic, however when she was diagnosed at 23, things began to make more sense.  Working together she and her husband have grown and learned so much.  During this episode, Stephanie shares how understanding neurodiversity has helped her and her husband let go of so many misunderstandings they had in the earlier years of their relationship and marriage.  They both have a better understanding of each other's intentions and know that they are there to help and "de-code" things for each other.  Stephanie shares openly the ways in which she has reduced her feelings of being overwhelmed at family functions and social events because she knows her limits and when she needs time to decompress.  She is able to advocate for herself in most situations and is comfortable asking for accommodations when she needs them.  She also talks about how she is working on creating a schedule that not only includes her work and school commitments, but quality time with her husband.  In addition, she shares how she is learning how to deal better with emotional shutdowns and periods of feeling overwhelmed. During this episode Stephanie and Mona share lots of laughs and discuss how important grace, compassion and love are when your partner is having trouble speaking during emotional times and also may have challenges with processing emotions.  This is another important episode that neurodiverse couples may want to listen to together. You can find Stephanie on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/stephaniebethany or check out her website at: www.stephaniebethany.com ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe so you don't miss an episode.  Please, also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

It was a pleasure to talk with Dan Jones, the creator of The Aspie World about how he is thriving in life and in his Neurodiverse Love relationship. When Dan was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 26, he didn't know what that meant and began searching for information that would help him better understand his diagnosis.  After finding limited content about neurodiversity and adult autism, he decided that he wanted to share his story and the lessons he was learning on his journey and he created The Aspie World. Dan's positive attitude and energy is contagious!  During this episode, he shared that he is always finding new things to learn and discover and doing this helps him reduce depression.  What a great strategy! Dan and his partner have a young son together and they have created a family life that provides opportunities for them to share quality time as a couple and a family.  Dan makes parenting and his romantic relationship a top priority and shares some of the lessons he has learned to show he cares.  This episode is filled with SO many awesome lessons learned and opportunities for neurodiverse couples to better understand each other. Listen to this episode with your partner and find new ways to connect and focus on the strengths you both have and bring to the relationship.  Follow Dan on social media on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter @theaspieworld, or check out his website: www.theaspieworld.com to learn about all the resources and products he has available. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.  Please, also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Natalie Roberts, a seasoned relationship coach from the UK with 25 years in a neurodiverse relationship, and Heather Parks, who specializes in families with neurodivergent children, share insightful experiences. They discuss recognizing unique differences in love, the vital role of emotional boundaries to prevent resentment, and the importance of fulfilling personal needs to combat loneliness. The duo highlights how humor can lighten the complexities of communication in neurodiverse relationships, ultimately inspiring listeners to embrace growth and understanding.

During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW shares so many important strategies for creating a strength based, successful "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.  Leslie talks about how important it is to ground your relationship in neurodiversity and understand that having different brains means each partner will have an opportunity to learn and grow in ways that will help them succeed individually and in their relationship.  She talks about the importance of communicating what you need from your partner in conversations.  For example: Do you need support or problem solving?;  and what happens when you are clear with your partner about what you need to help to reduce conflict and misunderstanding.  We also discuss  the value of planning.  Why planning can also create challenges and how to address this conundrum to reduce anxiety and other challenges.  We also discuss how partners can have different "social quotas" and the ways in which each partner can get their quota met without feeling overextended.  Leslie also shares the importance of understanding "spoon theory" and how this can help reduce autistic burnout, meltdown and shutdown. Whether you are the autistic or non-autistic partner in the relationship, Leslie provides valuable strategies for creating a relationship that is filled with respect, trust and validation.  To contact Leslie about the services she offers for neurodiverse couples please check out her website at: http://www.lesliesickelslcsw.com/ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.  Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Valerie Gaus, a clinical psychologist and author known for her work with autistic adults, shares insights on navigating love in neurodiverse relationships. She emphasizes the importance of communication, suggesting couples create a 'third language' for better understanding. Valerie discusses how mutual changes and addressing shame can enhance connection. She highlights findings from a study that identifies key predictors of successful romantic relationships, urging partners to embrace discomfort for growth and thriving together.

During this episode, two of the most well-known experts in autism and neurodiverse relationships, Professor Tony Attwood and Dr. Michelle Garnett, share key tips and tools that will help both partners thrive in a Neurodiverse Love relationship   There are so many nuggets of gold in this conversation, that we hope neurodiverse couples will listen to this episode together.  Whether you are trying to understand each other's communication differences; wondering whether using texts, emails or sharing songs, will work better to express your thoughts and feelings; or you are working to understand the value of your partners special interests or emotional needs, you will learn more about all these topics during this episode. In addition, we discuss the value of scheduling time to talk, how to provide feedback to each other effectively, and how to better understand the things that may trigger shutdowns or meltdowns.  We also talk about the importance of understanding both "Theory of the Autistic Mind" and "Theory of the Neurotypical Mind" and the value of knowing what you can each change, but also need to accept, in yourself and your partner, to live your best life together. Whether you and your partner are working to understand your individual needs, or the needs you have in your love relationship, this episode will provide both of you with tools and information that you can both use to move from "misunderstanding to clarity" in your neurodiverse relationship.  To learn more about strategies for successful Neurodiverse Love relationships, check out this Live Webcast being offered by Tony and Michelle titled Autism in Couple Relationships being held on 2/25/22 from 9:30am-4:00pm (Australia Eastern Time-in Brisbane) .  (For those of you who live in the U.S. this is 6:30pm EST on 2/24/22).  You can register for the webcast at: https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/live-webcast-autism-in-couple-relationships-25-february-2022/ You can also learn more about Professor Attwood on his website at: www.tonyattwood.com.au Recommended Books: The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood and Spectrum Women-Walking to the Beat of Autism-Edited by Barb Cook & Dr. Michelle Garnett:-) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.   Please also take the time to rate the podcast and write a review. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG or send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an email.                                                      Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Thomas Lucking, Ph.D., LMFT, started his career in technology and then chose to pivot and become a therapist.  Having these two areas of expertise gives Dr. Thomas a unique and important perspective on neurodiverse relationships.  During this episode, Dr. Thomas provides a wealth of important information and concrete strategies to help neurodiverse couples understand each other better, while working on the issues that create the most challenges in their relationships. Dr. Thomas shares how couples can understand each others priorities and values and create a "Values Based Family Plan" together.  This plan can then held lead to increased understanding and better communication.  He also talks about the strategies he has created to help couples begin "relationship renewal" and reconcile with each other when there have been lots of misunderstandings and challenges in the relationship. Dr. Thomas provides so much insightful information on a variety of topics that will provide guidance and inspiration to neurodiverse couples, including: the communication challenges for the "turtle-vs-the hailstorm" and "death by 1000 cuts". Don't miss this important episode that may help you and your partner turn the corner and move from struggling to thriving. To reach Dr. Thomas and learn more about his counseling and coaching services, check out his websites at: www.siliconvalleytherapy.com or www.thomaslucking.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss and episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us and email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or and e-mail. Thank you very much for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)

Michael John Carley has spent many years as an advocate, educator and collaborator.  He is the author of several books and he joined us on the podcast to talk about his book titled "The Book of Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum and Beyond" that was published in 2020 by Neurodiversity Press. From 2003-2013 Michael was the founder and Executive Director of GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger's Syndrome Partnership) where he learned about the many gaps that exist for autistic adults who are looking to thrive.  He has written for the Washington Post, Huffington Post, New York Times and many others.  His compassion, authenticity, and great sense of humor made our conversation with him both enlightening and inspirational. During this episode, Michael talks about the path he traveled to write his most recent book and how important it is for all of us to have access to the sex positive information that we need to thrive in that aspect of our life.  Whether you are in a neurodiverse relationship and are trying to create a mutually satisfying sex life with your partner, or you are single and want to engage in sexual experiences that are satisfying for you, this episode will provide helpful information and insight. We talk about ways to expand your sexual options, some of the challenges both partners may experience and why it is so important that we do more as a society to help "everyone" have access to the information they need to make well-educated decisions about their sexual interests and preferences. No matter where you are in your adult life, or what neurotype you are, this episode and Michael's book will provide you with information that may help you choose the path to create a "Happy, Positive and Confident Sex Life". To learn more about Michael John Carley and his work around the world, please check out his website at: www.michaeljohncarley.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)