Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

When Margot Alexis found out that she was in a "Neurodiverse Love" marriage she began to focus on the only person she could change..."herself". In this episode, Margot shares that when a friend of hers suggested that her husband might be autistic,  that took her on a journey to learn everything she could about neurodiverse relationships and autism spectrum disorder.  After more then 20 years of marriage, she made her own healing journey a priority and didn't discuss neurodiversity with her husband, until she had done a lot of her own work.  When she finally brought up the subject with her husband he was open and ready to hear what she had learned.  Through counseling with a therapist that has expertise in ASD, and a lot of grace and compassion, Margot and her husband now understand each other in ways they hadn't for many, many years.  Margot shares openly about the challenges she experienced with her husband regarding communication, emotional reciprocity, different processing styles and co-parenting.  She also shares the wonderful strengths that make her and husband a good team.  Margot also shares why she started the "Healing Cassandra" podcast and how she has created a community for women to heal and find their voice. You can contact Margot Alexis through her website at: www.healingcassandra.com You may also want to check out the "Healing Cassandra" podcast through Apple or Spotify.  ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information about "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to attend one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" Peer Support Groups for the neurotypical partner, you can send us a DM on IG or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please send us a DM or e-mail. Please rate and review this podcast and let us know what you like.  In addition, please share this episode with others who might be interested in this topic.  Thanks! Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community.

During this episode Grace Myhill, MSW shares her extensive experience on ways in which neurodiverse couples can gain better understanding of each others perspectives, learn how to check for understanding to reduce communication challenges and learn how to share and support each others expectations.  In addition, she also discusses important strategies for working together effectively as a couple and how important it is to understand the concept of a "sensory budget". Grace is the Director of the Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute and the Partners and Couples Services at AANE.  She also has a private practice where she provides support groups and private coaching for neurodiverse couples, the neurotypical partner and the autistic partner. You can contact Grace at AANE by e-mail at: grace.myhill@aane.org  For coaching services or support groups you can also reach out to her through her website at: gracemyhill.com AANE is a nationally recognized non-profit organization that works with individuals, families, and professionals to help people with Asperger’s and similar autism spectrum and neurodiverse profiles build meaningful, connected lives. AANE provides information, education, community, support, and advocacy, all in an atmosphere of validation and respect. To learn more, visit www.aane.org.

Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. is an internationally recognized autism relationship and neurodiversity expert and coach.  During this episode she shared her own lived experience and how she is helping neurodiverse couples around the world find better ways to understand each others strengths and differences.  She shares how important it is to value and respect each other's perspective and has created the "Crack the Communication Code" course to help neurodiverse couples work through the communication challenges that may keep recurring.  You may also want to check out her website to link to the free resource to get your Neurodiversity/Autism Score. Whether you are the autistic partner or the neurotypical partner in your neurodiverse relationship, there is SO much valuable information in this episode that you don't want to miss! You can contact Jodi Carlton through in the following ways: Website: spectrumrelationships.org Instagram: @neurodiversecouplescoach Facebook: Autism Relationships-Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. (private FB group) YouTube-Neurodiverse Couples Coach ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free Neurodiverse Love peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. If you like the podcast, please follow us or subscribe and rate the podcast.   Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Harry Motro spent the earlier part of his career in technology and then chose a second career in counseling.  HIs passion to take the best tools and strategies and combine them to help neurodiverse couples move from "barely surviving" to "thriving" is so enlightening and inspirational.  During this episode, you will learn the value of the "red, yellow and green cards" to proactively and compassionately deal with issues that previously might have become arguments, meltdowns, or shutdowns.  You will also learn how to create a "love list" with your partner that can help you both learn how to value and appreciate each other.  In addition, you will gain a better understanding of the importance of reflective listening and how the W.I.N. tool can reduce misunderstanding and increase validation in honest conversations.  This is another "don't miss" episode that you will want to listen to more then once, so that you and your partner can begin practicing these strategies today. If you would like to contact Dr. Harry Motro to learn more about the counseling and coaching services he and his colleagues offer for neurodiverse couples, please check out his website at: neurodiversecouplescounseling.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more resources on Neurodiverse Love relationships check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to attend one of our free Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups please send us a DM on Instagram or an email to  neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. please feel free to send us a DM on Instagram or an email. If you enjoyed this episode please subscribe to the podcast and share this link with others who may be interested in learning more about Neurodiverse Love relationships. Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.

Happy New Year to all our listeners!  This episode provides a lot of food for thought and great information that can help you make improvements in yourself and in turn, in your neurodiverse relationship During this episode, we talk about how  important it is for us to communicate and maintain our boundaries for our mental, emotional and spiritual health.  We also discuss how understanding and implementing the "Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz can help improve life in a neurodiverse relationship.   The Four Agreements are: 1) Be Impeccable With Your Word 2) Don't Take Anything  Personally 3) Don't Make Assumptions 4) Do Your Best We also talk briefly about the Fifth Agreement, which is: Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You may also want to follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you are interested in joining one of our "Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups", please DM us on Instagram or send us an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community.  Please subscribe to the podcast.  If you liked this episode, please leave us a rating and write a review. Thanks!

In this episode, Manecia interviews Mona as she shares about some of the experiences she had when she did not know she was in a neurodiverse marriage. She and her ex loved each other very much, but that was not enough to get them to a place of understanding, which was what was greatly needed in their marriage.  Not knowing you are in a neurodiverse relationship can lead to SO much confusion and loneliness, which can then turn into repeated anger and fights, that never seem to get resolved.  Mona talks about what led her to move forward on a separation and the last straw that led her to move forward on divorcing a man she still loved, but no longer trusted.  Throughout the Neurodiverse Love podcast, Mona has shared so much about her 32 year journey. In this episode, she shares some of the most significant positive experiences that kept her marriage going as long as it did.  She also shares some of the most challenging experiences that led to the end of her marriage.  Mona also talks about the path she has taken to get from the lowest point in her life, to a place of healing, exponential growth and thriving in a life that is filled with joy, peace, balance and fun.   ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like more information on Neurodiverse Relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups, please send us a DM on Instagram or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.  Please follow and rate this podcast and share the podcast with others who may be interested in hearing more about neurodiverse love relationships.  Thanks!

Psychotherapist and Professor Alina Kislenko is redesigning therapeutic models for neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples.  She is committed to training other therapists so that ableism and oppressive views of neurodiversity became a thing of the past.  Alina shared how her "PI" model of "Parts Inclusion" can create new words and ways of communicating emotions in neurodiverse relationships.  In addition, her and her neurodivergent husband (who is also a therapist) are both ADHD and autistic and they work together regularly to reassess their strengths and challenges. Alina talks about the importance of having regular "State of the Union" meetings (a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman) with your partner to prevent divisive fights that can create ongoing challenges.  She also talks about how her husband and her talk about "planning their divorce" so that they are aware of what norms and traits they may need to address as individuals and as a couple to ensure that they continue to thrive individually and in their relationship. Alina also offers very important advice on the determining factor to whether a neurodiverse relationship can thrive...specifically, whether "both partners are willing to do the work the other needs within the timeframe the other partner needs it done".  Each partner has an opportunity to determine which of their partners traits are not going away or changing and if they can (and will) accept that trait.   Alina also talks about how many neurodiverse relationships that include two neurodivergent partners may be very similar to LGBTQ+ relationships, because both partners may be more flexible and understanding of the norms that are critical to each partner. This is another "don't miss" episode where we talk about things we have never talked about on this podcast.  Alina offered so many nuggets of gold and we will be having her back on the podcast with her husband in early 2022. If you would like to reach Alina or the other therapists at the Centre, you can check out their website at: www.ADHDInterrupted.com. You can also join Alina's Facebook group at ADHD Interrupted. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out the resources available on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com If you would like to join one of the Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups you can send us a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or send us an e-mail at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.  Please subscribe or follow our podcast and share this episode (or others) with friends or family that might be interested in this issue.

We learned SO much during this episode with Carole Jean Whittington who is "The Social Autie' on social media.  Carole Jean received an ADHD diagnosis in early adulthood, but wasn't diagnosed as autistic until she was 39. Her "neurodistinct" journey has led her to help so many other late diagnosed autistic adults go from burnout to balance.  Carole Jean's honesty and vulnerability provided us with so many lessons on how to be better romantic partners in a neurodiverse relationship, as well as how to create space for understanding and grace when we really don't understand ourselves or our partners, but want to.  Carole Jean is a gift to the neurodiverse/neurodistinct community and it was such a pleasure learning from her and learning a little bit about the challenges she has experienced and grown and healed from, and the many strengths she has in her current relationship with her partner Josh:-) For more information on Carole Jean and the amazing work she is doing to help other late diagnosed adults thrive, please check her out on Instagram @socialautie and check out her podcast "Mind Your Autistic Brain". ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about neurodiverse relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join our Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups please send us a DM on Instagram or an e-mail at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.  Please follow or subscribe to our podcast, and share the podcast with others you know who may need to hear our message.  

Joe is a therapist and Mike is an engineer and in many ways they might be considered opposites.  However, during this episode they share how during their almost 30 years together, they have learned how to navigate their differences and focus on each others strengths.  When they started getting serious in their relationship Joe moved into Mike's house and Joe shares some of the challenges that presented during the first few years of living together. They now have a great arrangement where they each have living space on different floors of their home and they spend time together watching tv and sharing meals.   After watching the movie Adam, where the main character has Asperger's, Joe recognized his husband in almost everything Adam did.  He then approached Mike with this new found information and the rest is history.  Joe and Mike also share how learning that they were a neurodiverse couple literally cut their arguments and disagreements by 50%.  They began to understand each other and see things through the "neurodiverse lens".  As we have often said on previous podcasts "Once you know better, you can choose to do better".  Joe and Mike share how their lived experience shows what it looks like to turn that saying into action. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information on neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you are interested in attending our free "Neurodiverse Love" Peer Support Groups send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com or a DM on Instagram. If you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" journey on the podcast please feel free to reach out. Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community.   Please share this podcast with others who might benefit from hearing it.

Mona and Manecia had such a wonderful time talking to Michelle and Andrew learning about their "Neurodiverse Love" journey.  After they met on a dating app, they were friends for a year before they started dating.  Michelle shared that she almost broke up with Andrew twice and she shares why.  Fortunately, while reading a book chapter about "Autistic Echos" Michelle recognized many of the things she didn't understand about Andrew and approached him with compassion and kindness to discuss what she had read.   During this episode Michelle and Andrew share some of the strategies they have been using to learn and grow together as a neurodiverse couple. Life isn't always a bed of roses, however they share with such honesty how they work together to find new ways to understand each other and ways in which they can support each others strengths and value their individual differences.  If you want to learn more about Michelle and Andrew's  neurodiverse journey you can follow them on TIkTok  @michelleandandrew In addition, you can also check out their website at: www.bellamimalifestyles.com ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to join any of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups, please email us at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com, or send us a DM on Instagram. If you are interested in getting additional resources about neurodiverse relationships you can check out our website at: neurodiverslove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love Please subscribe to the "Neurodiverse Love" podcast wherever you listened to this episode and share this episode with others that might find it helpful. Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community! .