Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

I am so excited to invite all of you to join me and more than 30 amazing presenters, of many different neurotypes, to the2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference on March 6-8, 2025. All the presentations are recorded,so everyone who registers will get lifetime accessto all the sessions.If you use the the discount code Mona50 you will get $50 off the registration and your cost is ONLY $47. Click here to register today!In addition, you will get 3 awesome BONUSES FOR FREE:Digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and the digital workbook ($23.97 value)27 video sessions from the 1st Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)To see the list of presenters click here.____________________________________________________________During this episode, you will hear from AuDHD Therapist, Lindsay Averbook. Lindsay shares about her journey to get herAutism diagnosis and describes the challenges she had with medical providers who weren’t listening to her.She chose to get a neuropsychological evaluation and was diagnosed as Autistic. She also had received an ADHD diagnsosis while in college.Lindsay also shares how she went through an identity crisis after the Autism diagnosis and how she didn’t know what to do after the diagnosis.  She also began questioning whether she could still be a therapist. We also talk about the need for more education about adult neurodivergence for mental health and medical providers and the stigma associated with diagnosis.We discuss the fear of disclosure with friends, family, your romantic partner or colleagues and how everything  in life can make more sense after a diagnosis and how validating it can be as you begin to understand so many things from your past.Lastly, we talk about how media is portraying adult neurodivergence differently and how many newly diagnosed individuals may go through a grieving process as they begin to unmask and discover their most authentic self.You can contact Lindsay at:L.averbooklmhc@gmail.com

During this episode with Benjamin Meyer, LCSW we talk about how important it is to be open to understanding each person's differences throughout the dating process. We also address: Different kinds of connections and chemistry Asexuality Gender Identity Difference between romantic and sexual feelings Different kinds of romantic feelings Being upfront about your needs Meeting people who have similar special interests Getting to know people over time Understanding different perspectives and double empathy Managing rejection You can contact Benjamin at: www.benjaminmeyerlcsw.com If you would like more information about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, author Eleanor Vincent shares some of the ups and downs she and her ex-husband experienced in their neurodiverse relationship. More specifically she addresses: The 1st break-up, years of friendship, reuniting and then marriage; How things changed when they moved in together;  Masking and unmasking; Challenges with emotional reciprocity; Using love scripts; Communication challenges;  Short-term improvements, but not long term and consistent; Meltdowns and shutdowns; The impact of COVID;  Health challenges; Change in physical and sexual Intimacy;  Patterns in an neurodiverse relationship;  Unmet needs; Deciding to end the relationship and having no contact;  Being part of “The Lost Generation” You can learn more about Eleanor's story in her new book: "Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage" In addition, you can contact Eleanor at: www.eleanorvincent.com or contact Mona at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, Dr. Roianne Ahn shares some of the things she has learned through her lived experiences and in her 30 years as a therapist, coach, and researcher. She addresses ways in which we can better understand our wounded neural pathways (and those of our partner) and give each other grace. She shares the importance of finding your North Star as a couple and how neurotoxins may be impacting you as you and your partner react to stress through a flight or fight response. Dr. Ahn also talks about the importace of accessing your joy individually and as a couple and the value of managing a separation or divorce with grace. You can learn about Roiann's therpay and coaching practice at www.ahnpsychology.com or you can email her at ahn@ahnpsychology.com

During this episode, Misty Schmidt, LMFT shares how she navigates the communication and culture differences in her neurodivergent family and with her neurodivergent clients. She addresses the importance of having a therapist/coach who can translate the different types of communication and understanding that one partner may be very literal/concrete and the other may be more abstract. Misty also talks about the research she is conducting for her disseration. She is focusing on the dyamics between romantic partners who are both neurodivergent. She is also writing a book about navigating neurodiversity, which will include a variety of worksheets and tools including the "meltdown scale". Misty also addresses the impact of living with an incorrect diagnosis and how important it is for therapists/counselors to have training regarding neurodivergent adults, as some challenges may be identified as part of a personality disorder or trauma, however they may actually be related to neurodivergence. Unfortunately, some therapists may not understand or recognize neurovariance, sensory sensitivities and executive function differences and may think they are a trauma response and not consider neurodivergence. Explaining your internal world to a neuroaffirming therapist can help them determine what issues may be due to trauma and which may be due to neurodivergence. Misty also talks about Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and how this may look for a neurodivergent individual and the importance of understanding it and recognizing what can be done to help reduce the impact. You can contact Misty at: www.schmidtfamilycounseling.com If you are looking for a neurodivergent therapist you can check out this site: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ndi-directory In addition, if you would like to work with a coach or therapist who has expertise working with neurodiverse couples you can check out Mona's website

During this episode, Toni Borneo, a late discovered Autistic who is also the host of the "Autistic at 40" podcast shares what she has learned about Persistent Drive for Autonomy (aka Pathological Demand Avoidance). More specifically we address the following: Learn how this is a heightened stress reaction to anything that is out of the person's control There is a strong desire for autonomy over "what, when and how" and being addicted to finding ways to maintain control Why your partner may say "no" often Fight, flight, freeze response from threats or "perceived" threats The impact of "internalized" PDA Masked PDA and issues around trust Shame around PDA and secretive or sneaky behavior Creating a no-judgment zone The impact on executive function skills Your body may be in hyperarousal all the time How to get your autonomy back through equalizing with acts that are safe, boundaried and not damaging to your relationship Reframing requests and sharing declarative statements, rather than asking questions You can follow Toni on IG @autistic_at_40_podcast You can also listen to her podcast "Autistic at 40" or learn more about her on-line free space at Autisthood. If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website . If you would like to buy the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or the Workbook click here.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ Sex has a language all its own, and it is both spoken and unspoken. Sex with our partner and with ourselves can be fun, invigorating, a great way to unwind, how we connect to our body and to our partner. When one or both partners are experiencing ND Burnout, sex can be overwhelming or require more energy than we have along with a few other hidden elements. When we don't know to look for some of these hidden elements in our relationship and sex life, the story we tell ourselves about why sex isn't happening like it used to, or how we aren't enjoying it the way we once did, can create a cassum between partners, along with feelings of rejection, guilt, shame and unwant. Those reasons just aren't the case when ND Burnout is a factor and during this episode Carole Jean Whittington shares: What ND Burnout is. How it can look from the outside. What it feels like on the inside. The hidden elements of ND Burnout that impact our sex and relationship. First step in Burnout Restoration to restart your sex life. You can learn more about Carol Jean Whittington's book, YouTube channel, podcast and the many other resources she has available at: www.whittingtonwellbeing.com

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. ______________________________________________________________ Dr. Bronwyn Wilson provides information on some of the significant discoveries that she made during her research. She reveals how different needs for interaction between two groups of people in neurodiverse relationships creates an unconventional relationship which introduces unique challenges for the people involved. She describes how these different needs and resulting challenges are linked to the development of an ongoing dynamic system of communication that often becomes a specific feature in these relationships. She also give details on the particular strategies that she uncovered for the potential positive outcomes in neurodiverse relationships. To learn more about Dr. Bron's research or her books you can click here.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.____________________________________________ Neurodiverse relationships can sometimes be difficult to navigate, but if we have clear ways to both communicate and understand each other, it can be easier and more gratifying. During this episode, Lawrence Siegel, MA, CSE explores some of the things we can do to communicate more effectively about our sexual and intimate needs. Things like understanding nonverbal expression and creating shared experiences of physical pleasure, using code words to communicate in the moment, and learning how to accept our partner's lack of desire without feeling personally rejected. Hopefully, the information shared will help partners relate to how they see some of the important foundations of creating a succesful, sexually rewarding relationship. You can contact Lawrence Siegel at the Sage Institute for Family Development or at the Modern Institutes for Sex Therapy Training

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ In working with Neurodiverse individuals and couples it's apparent that teaching about diverse perspectives and providing a structure for solving conflict is not enough to overcome the common neurological differences. Co-creating strategies for each person to identify, regulate and communicate about their own emotional state is essential to the success of the dynamic. In a relationship, staying calm involves self-regulation, as well as co-regulation. In this episode, Robin Tate will define each of these terms. She will also talk about the potential barriers to self-regulation and strategies that help each person, as well as the team, stay calm as they work through conflict to achieve greater connection, understanding and agreement. You can contact Robin Tate, MA, MS at: www.robintatellc.com or at robintatellc@gmail.com