Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Natalie Roberts, a seasoned relationship coach from the UK with 25 years in a neurodiverse relationship, and Heather Parks, who specializes in families with neurodivergent children, share insightful experiences. They discuss recognizing unique differences in love, the vital role of emotional boundaries to prevent resentment, and the importance of fulfilling personal needs to combat loneliness. The duo highlights how humor can lighten the complexities of communication in neurodiverse relationships, ultimately inspiring listeners to embrace growth and understanding.

During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW shares so many important strategies for creating a strength based, successful "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.  Leslie talks about how important it is to ground your relationship in neurodiversity and understand that having different brains means each partner will have an opportunity to learn and grow in ways that will help them succeed individually and in their relationship.  She talks about the importance of communicating what you need from your partner in conversations.  For example: Do you need support or problem solving?;  and what happens when you are clear with your partner about what you need to help to reduce conflict and misunderstanding.  We also discuss  the value of planning.  Why planning can also create challenges and how to address this conundrum to reduce anxiety and other challenges.  We also discuss how partners can have different "social quotas" and the ways in which each partner can get their quota met without feeling overextended.  Leslie also shares the importance of understanding "spoon theory" and how this can help reduce autistic burnout, meltdown and shutdown. Whether you are the autistic or non-autistic partner in the relationship, Leslie provides valuable strategies for creating a relationship that is filled with respect, trust and validation.  To contact Leslie about the services she offers for neurodiverse couples please check out her website at: http://www.lesliesickelslcsw.com/ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.  Please also take a minute to rate the podcast. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check our our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG, or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thanks for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Valerie Gaus, a clinical psychologist and author known for her work with autistic adults, shares insights on navigating love in neurodiverse relationships. She emphasizes the importance of communication, suggesting couples create a 'third language' for better understanding. Valerie discusses how mutual changes and addressing shame can enhance connection. She highlights findings from a study that identifies key predictors of successful romantic relationships, urging partners to embrace discomfort for growth and thriving together.

During this episode, two of the most well-known experts in autism and neurodiverse relationships, Professor Tony Attwood and Dr. Michelle Garnett, share key tips and tools that will help both partners thrive in a Neurodiverse Love relationship   There are so many nuggets of gold in this conversation, that we hope neurodiverse couples will listen to this episode together.  Whether you are trying to understand each other's communication differences; wondering whether using texts, emails or sharing songs, will work better to express your thoughts and feelings; or you are working to understand the value of your partners special interests or emotional needs, you will learn more about all these topics during this episode. In addition, we discuss the value of scheduling time to talk, how to provide feedback to each other effectively, and how to better understand the things that may trigger shutdowns or meltdowns.  We also talk about the importance of understanding both "Theory of the Autistic Mind" and "Theory of the Neurotypical Mind" and the value of knowing what you can each change, but also need to accept, in yourself and your partner, to live your best life together. Whether you and your partner are working to understand your individual needs, or the needs you have in your love relationship, this episode will provide both of you with tools and information that you can both use to move from "misunderstanding to clarity" in your neurodiverse relationship.  To learn more about strategies for successful Neurodiverse Love relationships, check out this Live Webcast being offered by Tony and Michelle titled Autism in Couple Relationships being held on 2/25/22 from 9:30am-4:00pm (Australia Eastern Time-in Brisbane) .  (For those of you who live in the U.S. this is 6:30pm EST on 2/24/22).  You can register for the webcast at: https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/live-webcast-autism-in-couple-relationships-25-february-2022/ You can also learn more about Professor Attwood on his website at: www.tonyattwood.com.au Recommended Books: The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood and Spectrum Women-Walking to the Beat of Autism-Edited by Barb Cook & Dr. Michelle Garnett:-) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this podcast, please follow us or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode.   Please also take the time to rate the podcast and write a review. For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships, please check out our website at: neurodiverselove.com or follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free online Neurodiverse Love peer support groups, please DM us on IG or send an email to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your Neurodiverse Love story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an email.                                                      Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Thomas Lucking, Ph.D., LMFT, started his career in technology and then chose to pivot and become a therapist.  Having these two areas of expertise gives Dr. Thomas a unique and important perspective on neurodiverse relationships.  During this episode, Dr. Thomas provides a wealth of important information and concrete strategies to help neurodiverse couples understand each other better, while working on the issues that create the most challenges in their relationships. Dr. Thomas shares how couples can understand each others priorities and values and create a "Values Based Family Plan" together.  This plan can then held lead to increased understanding and better communication.  He also talks about the strategies he has created to help couples begin "relationship renewal" and reconcile with each other when there have been lots of misunderstandings and challenges in the relationship. Dr. Thomas provides so much insightful information on a variety of topics that will provide guidance and inspiration to neurodiverse couples, including: the communication challenges for the "turtle-vs-the hailstorm" and "death by 1000 cuts". Don't miss this important episode that may help you and your partner turn the corner and move from struggling to thriving. To reach Dr. Thomas and learn more about his counseling and coaching services, check out his websites at: www.siliconvalleytherapy.com or www.thomaslucking.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss and episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us and email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or and e-mail. Thank you very much for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)

Michael John Carley has spent many years as an advocate, educator and collaborator.  He is the author of several books and he joined us on the podcast to talk about his book titled "The Book of Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum and Beyond" that was published in 2020 by Neurodiversity Press. From 2003-2013 Michael was the founder and Executive Director of GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger's Syndrome Partnership) where he learned about the many gaps that exist for autistic adults who are looking to thrive.  He has written for the Washington Post, Huffington Post, New York Times and many others.  His compassion, authenticity, and great sense of humor made our conversation with him both enlightening and inspirational. During this episode, Michael talks about the path he traveled to write his most recent book and how important it is for all of us to have access to the sex positive information that we need to thrive in that aspect of our life.  Whether you are in a neurodiverse relationship and are trying to create a mutually satisfying sex life with your partner, or you are single and want to engage in sexual experiences that are satisfying for you, this episode will provide helpful information and insight. We talk about ways to expand your sexual options, some of the challenges both partners may experience and why it is so important that we do more as a society to help "everyone" have access to the information they need to make well-educated decisions about their sexual interests and preferences. No matter where you are in your adult life, or what neurotype you are, this episode and Michael's book will provide you with information that may help you choose the path to create a "Happy, Positive and Confident Sex Life". To learn more about Michael John Carley and his work around the world, please check out his website at: www.michaeljohncarley.com  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you liked this podcast episode, please rate it and follow us, or subscribe, so you don't miss an episode. For more information on "Neurodiverse Love" relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or if you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. Thank you for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community:-)

When Margot Alexis found out that she was in a "Neurodiverse Love" marriage she began to focus on the only person she could change..."herself". In this episode, Margot shares that when a friend of hers suggested that her husband might be autistic,  that took her on a journey to learn everything she could about neurodiverse relationships and autism spectrum disorder.  After more then 20 years of marriage, she made her own healing journey a priority and didn't discuss neurodiversity with her husband, until she had done a lot of her own work.  When she finally brought up the subject with her husband he was open and ready to hear what she had learned.  Through counseling with a therapist that has expertise in ASD, and a lot of grace and compassion, Margot and her husband now understand each other in ways they hadn't for many, many years.  Margot shares openly about the challenges she experienced with her husband regarding communication, emotional reciprocity, different processing styles and co-parenting.  She also shares the wonderful strengths that make her and husband a good team.  Margot also shares why she started the "Healing Cassandra" podcast and how she has created a community for women to heal and find their voice. You can contact Margot Alexis through her website at: www.healingcassandra.com You may also want to check out the "Healing Cassandra" podcast through Apple or Spotify.  ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information about "Neurodiverse Love" relationships, check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to attend one of our free "Neurodiverse Love" Peer Support Groups for the neurotypical partner, you can send us a DM on IG or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please send us a DM or e-mail. Please rate and review this podcast and let us know what you like.  In addition, please share this episode with others who might be interested in this topic.  Thanks! Thanks for being a part of the "Neurodiverse Love" community.

During this episode Grace Myhill, MSW shares her extensive experience on ways in which neurodiverse couples can gain better understanding of each others perspectives, learn how to check for understanding to reduce communication challenges and learn how to share and support each others expectations.  In addition, she also discusses important strategies for working together effectively as a couple and how important it is to understand the concept of a "sensory budget". Grace is the Director of the Peter M. Friedman Neurodiverse Couples Institute and the Partners and Couples Services at AANE.  She also has a private practice where she provides support groups and private coaching for neurodiverse couples, the neurotypical partner and the autistic partner. You can contact Grace at AANE by e-mail at: grace.myhill@aane.org  For coaching services or support groups you can also reach out to her through her website at: gracemyhill.com AANE is a nationally recognized non-profit organization that works with individuals, families, and professionals to help people with Asperger’s and similar autism spectrum and neurodiverse profiles build meaningful, connected lives. AANE provides information, education, community, support, and advocacy, all in an atmosphere of validation and respect. To learn more, visit www.aane.org.

Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. is an internationally recognized autism relationship and neurodiversity expert and coach.  During this episode she shared her own lived experience and how she is helping neurodiverse couples around the world find better ways to understand each others strengths and differences.  She shares how important it is to value and respect each other's perspective and has created the "Crack the Communication Code" course to help neurodiverse couples work through the communication challenges that may keep recurring.  You may also want to check out her website to link to the free resource to get your Neurodiversity/Autism Score. Whether you are the autistic partner or the neurotypical partner in your neurodiverse relationship, there is SO much valuable information in this episode that you don't want to miss! You can contact Jodi Carlton through in the following ways: Website: spectrumrelationships.org Instagram: @neurodiversecouplescoach Facebook: Autism Relationships-Jodi Carlton, M.Ed. (private FB group) YouTube-Neurodiverse Couples Coach ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more information on Neurodiverse Love relationships please check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to join one of our free Neurodiverse Love peer support groups for the neurotypical partner, please DM us on IG or send us an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Also, if you would like to share your "Neurodiverse Love" story, or you work with neurodiverse couples and would like to be a guest on the podcast, please send us a DM or an e-mail. If you like the podcast, please follow us or subscribe and rate the podcast.   Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Harry Motro spent the earlier part of his career in technology and then chose a second career in counseling.  HIs passion to take the best tools and strategies and combine them to help neurodiverse couples move from "barely surviving" to "thriving" is so enlightening and inspirational.  During this episode, you will learn the value of the "red, yellow and green cards" to proactively and compassionately deal with issues that previously might have become arguments, meltdowns, or shutdowns.  You will also learn how to create a "love list" with your partner that can help you both learn how to value and appreciate each other.  In addition, you will gain a better understanding of the importance of reflective listening and how the W.I.N. tool can reduce misunderstanding and increase validation in honest conversations.  This is another "don't miss" episode that you will want to listen to more then once, so that you and your partner can begin practicing these strategies today. If you would like to contact Dr. Harry Motro to learn more about the counseling and coaching services he and his colleagues offer for neurodiverse couples, please check out his website at: neurodiversecouplescounseling.com ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ For more resources on Neurodiverse Love relationships check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can also follow us on Instagram @neurodiverse_love If you would like to attend one of our free Neurodiverse Love Peer Support Groups please send us a DM on Instagram or an email to  neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com If you would like to be a guest on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. please feel free to send us a DM on Instagram or an email. If you enjoyed this episode please subscribe to the podcast and share this link with others who may be interested in learning more about Neurodiverse Love relationships. Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community.