Better Sex

Sexual Health within the Christian Faith Starting with a little background on Rachel, she is a psychotherapist who works with clients who have experienced trauma and in sexuality in general. When considering her certification, she has been certified through AASECT and is a part of the American Academy of Psychotherapists. Rachel has long been equal parts fascinated and troubled by the suppression of sexuality from the church, and she looks to bridge the gap between a healthy practice and expression of sexuality and faith. Dr. Beverly Dale is a Reverend and received her Doctor of Ministry from the Chicago Theological Seminary. She is also the founder of the Incarnation Institute for Sex & Faith, which has the mission of bringing a positive perception of sex for all involved. Both Rachel and Beverly wrote a book called Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client which will be released soon! And in this episode, they both discuss the needless negative stigma that surrounds sexuality from a church’s perspective: both in doctrine as well as practice. They provide an analysis as well as solutions. Really impactful stuff that I know you’ll get a lot out of! Listen along. Their New Book! They both wrote to give a resource to those who might be tied up with their Christian faith and yet are facing seemingly insurmountable sexual problems. The book is a major step towards providing solutions for the sort of sexual gridlock that may occur. And the book wasn’t just designed with Christians in mind, but those who may have moved on from Christianity as well and are seeking sexual healing or are looking for answers to pressing questions. This is expanded upon in the talk where the distinction between a client’s belief and their faith is clarified. Listen in for that! Deconstructing Belief They approach their clients through the lens of showing that beliefs are separate from experience. Because the church teaches certain principles and gives commandments, a lot of time clients tend to equate the commandments with the faith experience, and both Beverly and Rachel are working diligently to shift perceptions. Without being able to separate belief from experience, healing in the sexual realm is much more difficult. Reconstructing the Christian Narrative Those with the most power tend to write history. And as Beverly states about the many forms of the Christian narrative and practice during the heyday of the Greco-Romans, Christianity used to be much more sexually oriented and positive. But because bodies were not as central to the Greco-Roman zeitgeist, conformity to a much less inclusive version of Christianity was a result. Beverly and Rachel look to remind people that the Christianity we have today is much different than it used to be. And in fact, one of the reasons that Jesus was so radical at the time was that he didn’t conform to the misogynistic culture of the Romans. A really interesting look into history. Check them out! Impacts of the Church’s Sexual Negativity The most common, which most of us have experienced, is sexual shame or guilt. And a lot of the work that Rachel and Beverly do is provide examples of how shame cycles and negatively impact lives. In addition, they aren’t spiritual advisors, they just add the necessary disruption to the normal narrative, meaning that clients are left with a little bit of cognitive dissonance on the whole subject of sexuality and the church instead of just adhering to the rules without analysis. Problematic sexual behaviors are discussed as well, especially for our youth. What often happens with the church is that young people are not given the information they need, and they spiral into porn addiction or shame and guilt that could have been prevented had they been properly sexually educated. Really listen along to this important information. A 4-Part Process for Sexual Shame and Guilt Rachel and Beverly utilize the theologian John Wesley’s methods of using reason and personal experience, among two other elements that are discussed. This type of analysis revolves around comparing what the church says and what the bible says, almost as a way to check and balance the different dialogues and their divergences. And in one of the best parts of the episode, Beverly reminds you that you have permission to break rules in this domain because Jesus himself was a rule breaker. So rules laid out by the church are not gospel, so to speak, if they don’t align with the bible. Resources and Tools from Rachel and Beverly Rachel says you should determine a touch history for yourself and ask questions that relate to you if you were touch-deprived (not hugged a lot or touched) as a child and how that has possibly affected you on an intimate level. In addition, both provide valuable information and resources in the annotated bibliography of Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client. And also, Rachel shares some book suggestions. And to cap off the episode, Rachel talks about sexual beliefs and shares much more resources! Including details of their new book and its release date. Key Links for Rachel and Beverly: Books referenced by both: Unprotected Texts – https://www.amazon.com/Unprotected-Texts-Bibles-Surprising-Contradictions/dp/0061725390 Sex Texts From the Bible – https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Texts-Bible-Selections-Illuminations/dp/1594732175 More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Web – https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

My guest on today’s show is Stephanie Beuhler. She’s a licensed therapist, AASECT certified sex therapist, a graduate of UCLA and Pepperdine (among others), and a best-selling writer who has authored many enlightening books on sexuality and sex therapy, including intimacy in particular which her book Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and Intimacy Issues, touches on. She has also extended her prolific leanings with more academic-centered projects for textbooks and journals. And most important of all, she is extremely passionate and caring towards her patients regarding topics of sexuality, cancer survivors, and infertility issues. And this episode will dive into how infertility can affect couples and the many approaches towards mitigating the challenges that can arise. Stephanie Beuhler is an amazing guest and an even more amazing provider of insight and illumination on the topic. Enjoy! Some of the Manifestations of Infertility Issues in Sex Lives A lot of couples who are struggling with the issue of infertility usually complain about just how robotic the act feels. You go to a doctor, you track the most opportune times for conception, and you work on it. Stephanie says that sex than can feel like a ‘job’ for many people. Instead of sex being this freeing and liberating thing, it is largely a matter of sticking to a schedule and punching the time card. It can be very discouraging to have difficulties getting pregnant and then having the sexual issues poured on top of that. In short, the pressure to perform on demand can lead to erectile dysfunction in men. The stress that accumulates from peers who are having kids, from parents who want grandkids, all of those factors can have very detrimental effects on the quality of relationships. Fortunately, there are solutions and ways to manage these issues and approach infertility through a healthier lens. Same-Sex Couples and Infertility-Type Issues Stephanie states that it is a different dynamic between same-sex couples because they go into the process knowing that they will either be getting a sperm donation, a surrogate mother or adopting. But this also comes with its fair share of complications and stresses. Many times, it’s hard to know what choice is best for the couple. And the process for adoption can be a very time-consuming and expensive process. While talking on this subject, Stephanie shares a very interesting stat and trend for LGBT couples and birth rates--in fact, on birth rates in general. Listen along to hear her speak on the topic. The Most Common Sexual Problems for Women Stephanie talks of painful vaginal intercourse for women being of the many problems that can arise for women, which leads to a lack of possibility for pregnancy. And this is described and represented under the diagnosis of vaginismus. Vaginismus means that intercourse is not possible for women because of past traumas or often, there is no single distinguishing cause and can happen without any pattern or correlative reason. It can lead to extreme pain during sex, and even the insertion of tampons can become impossible for women with vaginismus. Stephanie goes into much more detail during the episode. And it is important stuff to be aware of. Sexual Problems for Men The problems for men usually range from low desire, premature ejaculation, to erectile dysfunction. And when talking about erectile dysfunction, it can be caused by the pressure of trying to get pregnant and just how crucial the timing can be. And maybe, as Stephanie states, it can even be the result of the ambivalence of the man who may be second-guessing having children in the first place. And even the financial aspects of having a kid can lead to erectile dysfunction. In fact, Stephanie states that it is one of the biggest reasons why many men develop erectile dysfunction, in general, is stress about finances. For this and more interesting facts, including some information on delayed ejaculation, listen along! When All Else Fails, Take a Break! Advice that Stephanie gives for couples often involves telling them to stop trying for pregnancy for a little bit. Sometimes all it takes is that relaxation and the stress-relief of not having to try so hard to reframe the whole obstacle and bring passionate sex back into the mix. That way disappointments and expectations are kept to a minimum as well. And who knows, it can even lead to pregnancy given the relaxed atmosphere. It can also relieve pressure in the dynamic, which can alleviate erectile dysfunction and a variety of other performance issues. For much more on desire during pregnancy and this important topic, listen along! Key Links for Stephanie: Website and Resources for Stephanie: https://thebuehlerinstitute.com/ || https://www.learnsextherapy.com/ Affiliate Links for her books: Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and Intimacy Issues: https://amzn.to/2TCBNo7 What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know About Sex:https://amzn.to/2UDvjBJ Sex, Love, and Mental Illness: A Couple's Guide to Staying Connected (Sex, Love, and Psychology): https://amzn.to/2XXySF7 A Heart-Pounding Guide to Passionate Sex: https://amzn.to/2CkmPse More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

As my guest Ellen Dechesne relates during this episode, sex in your later years, what is defined as the ‘third stage’ of your life, is a very important and relevant topic to consider.A self-proclaimed late bloomer for hitting sexual milestones and other life events, sex has nonetheless been a very central part of Ellen’s life since her birth around the advent of the sexual revolution in the U.S. And very recently, Ellen was a baby boomer who was dating in her 60’s to go on and eventually find the guy of her dreams.And so, through listening to this all-important perspective on the sexual needs of older people, Ellen will teach you of the attention and awareness that needs to be given to this facet of life. And in fact, she offers a very encouraging testament to the longevity of sexual experience we can continue to have well within the later years of our lives.A Different Emphasis in the Early YearsAs Ellen states near the beginning of the interview, she didn’t necessarily reach or experience her sexual potential until she was in her later years. At first, she wanted to emphasize relationships and raising a family far more than being aspirational about sex. And despite acknowledging that she had plenty of opportunities to take more risks with sex and strive for something much more fulfilling, she didn’t actively seek it until later.Younger MenIn her 30’s, Ellen talks about how she discovered the distinct joys of being sexually active with younger men, which she attributes to their enthusiasm to be with an older woman who knows what she wants. And Ellen wants to remind women who approach their 50’s and who are still single, to consider dating a younger man (even quite a bit younger). The older woman/younger man dynamic is fully supported by Ellen!Marriages, Children, and her TransformationShe was married for the first time at the age of 39 and then again a couple of years later that led to her becoming the diplomatic wife of an economist. Her son was born when she was 41, and her daughter at 46. And it was after a sexless marriage that Ellen decided it wasn’t working and the marriage ended.Once she hit her mid-50’s though, part of Ellen’s transformation was spurred by her attendance at an erotica and film festival. And it was through these events and the people she met there that really opened her eyes to how one can still be sexually active despite being in your third-stage of life. She goes into much more detail within the episode. Check it out!Sex as a Self-Rescue OperationWhile all her peers were settling down and had already started raising children, Ellen found herself single and without children. She started pursuing erotic relationships as a form of self-rescue, as she puts it. That way she could stay fresh and invigorated and wouldn’t find herself resigned like some of the other middle-aged women she had encountered. And, this kept her from becoming depressed about how her previous focuses on motherhood and marriage had eluded her. And as experts have echoed, keeping sexual activity consistent makes it easier to keep pursuing erotic activities all your life. Ellen says she has reaped the rewards of that fact.Ellen Didn’t Call it QuitsOne of the most important concepts that Ellen echoes in this episode is that older women have to be resilient. If you find yourself single at an older age, don’t just give up. It may be tempting, but there is so much more sex to be had, as her actions have shown.Instead of quitting when she found herself single at 59, she went to the gym, invested money in a program that made sure she was as sexually vibrant as she could be, and found the man of her dreams shortly after. And she also provides some of the physical therapies and details on her diet and hormone replacement treatment that has helped her maintain her libido and vibrant sex life. Much more within the episode!How to Deal with Third Stage Sex Challenges When They Come UpEllen recounts how her husband dealt with low testosterone and the challenges he experienced with his libido and the new approach they took to keeping active, dancing, and restructuring the dynamic to welcome the incidence as just a new stage in the relationship. She admitted that it was difficult to deal with wanting sex more than her younger husband, but challenges can always be overcome. And plus, Ellen just doesn’t accept that we must accept that sex just kind of dies and grays out within us. We get out what we expect of it, so active participation in the process is required. Really powerful stuff here!Sexually Active Until the EndWhat a beautiful thought it is to be sexually active until the end. And indeed, what is stopping us from achieving this goal or entertaining the idea? Ellen states that older women should be seen more like an authority on the subject and that as a voice they are here to stay! Check out this very inspiring and encouraging talk.Key Links for Ellen: Ellen’s Email if you want to get in touch with her: olderbabe@shaw.caMore info:Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.comWeb - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

62: My guest is Mariah Freya, the founder of Beducated.com, which is a website and repository of online courses, resources, and tantric-infused concepts for more conscious sex. And today, Mariah stops by to share with you and demystify Yoni and Lingam massage, various aspects of how to have more conscious sex, and ultimately achieve what she calls ‘the final frontier of personal development’. This is important stuff to consider for a complete understanding of the potential of human sexuality, and so I invite you to listen along and learn. Please note that I am an affiliate for Beducated, and if you purchase courses using links provided, I will earn a commission. Thanks for your support! Conscious Versus Conventional Sex Simply put by Mariah, conscious sex has more awareness and present-ness. It involves partners who are fully engaged and in tune with every sensation and moment of the act, and not disconnected. It is, in essence, mindful sex. And what Mariah acknowledges the most is that many who have sex are just rushing through things, not so much consciously but out of fear and vulnerability. This makes it hard to actively seek to be present during sex, especially if you’re uncomfortable with your naked body and feel vulnerable. Conscious sex becomes less about quickly ‘achieving’ an orgasm and more so about experiencing the full engagement and sensation of your partner in a mindful, present way. Mariah devotes more time to explain within the episode if you want to know more. Reasons for Fear of Sex Mariah offers some explanations for the reasons why someone may detach themselves and not experience the act in a conscious manner. She states that it’s the act of being naked and shedding that layer of defense that we are so used to having. Because we are clothed more often than not, just the simple state of nakedness can make someone feel very insecure and as if something is not normal. That self-consciousness can detract away from conscious sex. Also, Mariah states that a lot of time because of some ethical benchmarks we have carried with us or translate into the actions we take, we can often feel ashamed of our sexual desires and thus suppress them instead of exploring them in a conscious manner. This is very common. And Mariah offers more examples within the episode. How to Have a More Positive Relationship with your Body Mariah says it’s about redefining what beautiful means. A lot of our own body image is negatively reinforced because of the beauty industry or porn--where anatomical facets are inflated and exaggerated for idealistic effect. In practice, this means faking it until you make it as far as positive body image goes. You can stand in front of the mirror and just notice all of the things about your body that you don’t like. You can then notice and acknowledge those feelings and work on reframing them in a positive manner. Ask yourself, ‘what do I like about my body? What do I really cherish?” Sexuality as ‘The Last Frontier of Personal Development’ Mariah truly urges you to rethink sexuality and how important it is for loving yourself and expressing yourself, especially in the personal development realm. If we never develop sexually, we are not realizing a very crucial aspect of our humanity and a powerful avenue for self-expression. Yoni and Lingam Massage Both terms respectively have Sanskrit meanings: Yoni for Vagina and Lingam for penis. And as Mariah expounds upon, both have deeper, more descriptive meanings: Yoni means ‘the sacred temple’, and Lingam stands for “the wand of light”. And to start, it is through the positive connotations and attribution of the genitals with these descriptions that can help remove some of the negative stigmas some carry regarding their genitalia. But Mariah also states that the Lingam massage is more than just a conscious hand job. It is spiritually healing and goes into a much more profound territory. And it was through these practices and a tantric workshop in India that Mariah was really opened to the beauty, potential, and inner-activation of the discipline that unlocked a real sea change in her own sexual life. She goes into the autobiographical details during the episode and it’s really great! From Numbness and Pain to Pleasure Really, the whole point of these deliberately conscious sexual acts is to address a numbness or a trauma that shows up around the genitals. And once attention and energy have been devoted to that area, an awakening happens. It can come with pain, not so much physical pain but an emotional outpouring that translates into the potential for an overwhelming and profound pleasure. A deeper connection with your body, partner, and your soul is achieved through this conscious activity. Is All of This Obtainable for the Average Person? Very much so! With a wealth of online courses, including Mariah’s course, anyone who is interested can get started. And for those who can travel, India is a hotspot for tantric activity and instruction. Although, Mariah wants to stress that the word ‘tantric’ is highly marketable and buzzworthy right now, so a lot of erotic massages are being packaged as ‘tantric’. And as has been stated, these massages only focus on the pleasure aspect of the spectrum, which is not all that ‘tantra’ really focuses on. There is nothing wrong with erotic massage or pleasure, but to get the full experience, be wary that there’s more to it than that! And she goes through some of the details of what’s involved with both the Yoni and Lingam online courses that she spearheads. Listen in for all of that, and follow the links below to check them out! Support the show using these affiliate links for Mariah (I earn a small commission on your purchases): The Bededucated website: https://beducated.com/mariah-freya/ The Yoni Massage Online Course: https://beducated.com/courses/yoni-massage/?ref=10313_pkgzh832 For the Lingam Massage Online Course: https://beducated.com/courses/lingam-massage/?ref=10313_pkgzh832 More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

My guest for this episode is Dr. Valerie Rein. She is an author, psychologist, and in addition, founded Her Genius, Inc. Through her work, she has coined the term Patriarchal Stress Disorder to capture and reflect upon the historical dynamic of predominantly patriarchal power structures throughout time. And more specifically, how patriarchy has negatively affected women throughout the years, all the way up to the present. This has led to a suppression of femininity, of being expressive and celebratory about womanhood while in an open space and without fear. And because of recent understandings of genetics and inherited aspects of our recent ancestral roots, we can very well inherit traumas from certain groups. And yes, that supposes and is backed by evidence that women inherit patriarchal stress from ancestors who were suppressed and oppressed in previous generations. Both men and women can inherit certain traumas, but in this highly interesting episode, Valerie walks us through patriarchal stress in particular. You’ll really get a lot out of this one. A Missing Link to Better Sex After working as a therapist for many years, Valerie started noticing that there were underlying traumas that could be addressed in her patients which would lead to better sex in their sex lives, depending on the various levels of resolution or therapy work. But Valerie also started noticing that women who didn’t have any particular traumas to work on were still responding as positively to the therapy as those who did. She eventually realized that there was a correlation or causative link between these invisible traumas and the fact that society has been predominantly patriarchal. This coupled with genetic transmission led to the massive breakthrough. More Than Just Better Sex! But better sex wasn’t the only benefit to come out of these type of trauma therapy. Really, it changed everything in her patients in a good way: from money flow, to professional success, to relationship wellbeing, to other various aspects, all rooted in this trauma that had been inherited from previous ancestral oppression according to exactive patriarchal structures. She goes further into detail during the episode to explain the dynamic even more! Valerie was Suffering as Well As Valerie states, a very ironic part of this whole story and discovery was that Valerie believed herself to be untouched by the same trauma that was affecting her clients. And as she puts it, it led to a very acute suffering in her life, until she realized that yes, she was affected by the same Patriarchal Stress Disorder as the others. It took a lot of marriage counseling and the eventual end of a marriage to a very nice guy that she realized just how deeply she had been afraid to expect pleasure in a virtually sex-less marriage. She eloquently describes the situation and ties it to the disorder during the episode. Do check it out. How to Alleviate P.S.D. Through the Jailbreak System In the episode, Valerie talks about her 5-step process for breaking out of the jail that modern society has placed women in. To start, just waking up and seeing the walls that enclose you, is the important first step. And within that first step, recognizing that it’s not personal. You have inherited this world, the traits and reality from your ancestors. There’s just a traumatic setup that you have inherited from your pedigree. The next step is to resolve the feelings of constantly having to self-improve. Until women step out of the revolving door of second-guessing and feelings of inferiority that have been inherited, what Valerie calls the ‘prison security system’ will keep firing. This leads to hormone imbalances and a gamut of other disorders in women. The third step is that women often bribe the prison guards. Instead of overriding the prison defense system, women often feel it necessary to work with them. And for the rest of these steps, listen along to the episode. The imagery is very interesting and useful for understanding the concept. Survival of the Anxious Using an example of Holocaust survivors and their raised cortisol levels, so too their ancestors were passed the tangible genetic traits associated with the type of hyper-vigilance that is common in someone with a heightened fight-or-flight system. And in different ways, we can be passed the same sort of genetic traits and dispositions because of oppression and situations of extreme stress, especially in women. What About the Men? Dr. Valerie doesn’t ignore the fact that men have also been traumatized and suffer from similar symptoms as women. In fact, the patriarchal system doesn’t really work in general. So women are affected the most, but it is still a largely flawed system that does considerable harm for men as well. For much more that wasn’t laid out here in the show notes, the episode is chock-full of more important concepts and details. Key Links for Valerie: Valerie’s Website: http://www.patriarchystressdisorder.com/ More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

My guest is Mark Schoen. He is a prolific sex-education filmmaker--he has made over 50 of them!--and still very productive and skilled at his important work in the industry. As his focus attests, educating the general public about sexual topics is always necessary. We can never have enough sexual education throughout the world, so what Mark does is extremely important for making the world a better, more fulfilling, and more demystified place when we talk about sexuality and the whole spectrum of the subject. And although he originally thought he was going to be a hockey player, luckily for the world he realized his full potential in the sexual education sphere. He is the founder and organizer of SexSmartFilms and has been making sexual health films since 1974. In addition to the numerous awards he has won for his work, he is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator and an award-winning author. And this is just the tip of the iceberg! For an enlightening talk on his fascinating life, you would be hard pressed to find a better exemplar of how sexual education should be done. Great stuff! How Mark got his Start as a Sexual Educator As Mark states, his first encounter with the discipline was as a health educator. Soon it became required for him to teach a group of 12 and13-year-olds the nature of sexually transmitted diseases. But to his chagrin, the curriculum was presenting sexuality through the lens of disease instead of a more positive light. Alarmed by this frame of reference for the subject, Mark decided to appeal for a full class on sexuality that would frame sexuality in a much more positive light. In addition, the class would also be a thorough analysis of the subject and not a quick gloss over the mandatory details. Mark says much more on the topic near the beginning of the interview. Bellybuttons Are Navels As Mark’s career started taking off, in the pre-internet 70’s mind you, he started getting much more involved in the sexual health realm. Eventually, he wrote a very important children's book called Bellybuttons Are Navels, which explored the anatomical differences between a boy and a girl. A pretty radical concept considering that sexual education when Mark had just gotten started was basically anatomy 101 and didn’t explore the nuances and complexity of sexual development, function, and the psychological aspects of sex. Regardless, Bellybuttons Are Navels was published in 1990 and became the first children’s book to use the word clitoris. For more on this part of Mark’s career listen along to the episode! His Recent Films As Mark recounts, he was blown away by the reception and praise for his 2012 film Trans. And during the talk, he shares a completely heartwarming story of a parent of a transgender child and just how much the film changed her perspective on transsexuality. Mark also shares a scary statistic on the suicide rate of the transgender population, so films like Trans serve an extremely important function that can bridge the gap on loneliness in the community and increase understanding for the ready assimilation and integration of the trans-community. With more work like Mark’s, there will be less transgender people on the fringe, and more in the center. Really impactful stuff here! The Challenges of Films Becoming Outdated SexSmartFilms, Mark’s website, and enterprise is a repository of sexual education films and resources that are online and can be accessed like the Netflix of sexual health. But the problem with making movies in-house and really just filmmaking, in general, is that hairstyles go out of style, clothes go out of trend, and of course, even the camera quality and look of the entire film can quickly look obsolete. This becomes distracting for some people and can even detract from the overall trust that one places in the information presented. Who's to say that the information isn’t as outdated as the clothing styles, in other words? Mark talks about this aspect of the industry and promises that the information is still sound and correct, even if some of the hairstyles are egregious. Listen along for more! Cultural Changes are Relative to Technological Change Jumping to today, technology has made sexuality so much more pervasive in society. In short, it’s everywhere! And as Mark states, relevant films and resources can be brought up at the touch of a button. This is a completely different reality than the barren wasteland of accessible resources that teenagers and adults had during the 1970s when Mark started his work as an educator. In other words, now that young people are getting a steady dose of pornography and sexuality from sources that are detached from sexual education, and instead more so sexual entertainment, there is a different educational dynamic at play. Education, Research, and Therapy Mark states that his SexSmartFilm site is divided into these three categories for type of film and their overall purpose. There are films for children, teens, and adults. Really, it’s a great database for a wide range of sexuality topics and purposes that you can access for a subscription price. Consider doing it! Mark gives a detailed breakdown of everything you can find with the subscription. From historical sources to more present presentations of sexuality, and what Mark is currently working on, check out what Mark has to say! Key Links for Mark Schoen The SexSmartFilm website: https://sexsmartfilms.com/home/ To contact Mark: https://sexsmartfilms.com/contact/#contactDirect More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Stan Tatkin is the founder of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®(PACT). He has worked with couples for more than fifteen years in his clinical practice. He teaches, he counsels, he writes, he does it all! Stan has authored a few very important books throughout his career, some of them including: Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Wired for Dating, and his latest and the driving point behind this interview, We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. All in all, I am delighted to have Stan on the show. You are really going to get a lot out of this talk! The Difficulties of Cultivating a Cooperative and Collaborative Relationship Stan lays the groundwork for a secure-functioning relationship between couples. He says both participants in the relationship share power and mutually govern over each other to balance out the dynamic. Because we are perfectly imperfect as human beings, the dynamic is often skewed to one side. Collaboration is hard and positivity is just as difficult to maintain. To you who listen along, Stan will also take you down a fascinating neurological path when he explains our survival mechanisms and how the brain takes shortcuts. These facets of our development make it very hard to maintain secure relationships. Our states of mind, the many different perceptions we experience--of which Stan likens to a funhouse mirror--and our imperfect memories, are of many hurdles to overcome. For much more on this uphill climb, tune in. Threats and Shared Governance Stan reminds us that the small ‘threats’, the eyerolls, the tone laced with animosity, the cold shoulder, passive aggression, all of it, can compound and show up in a very real biological sense. After time, you will view your spouse as a predator. Not in any malicious sense, but because of self-protective tendencies we have learned over our development, our perceptions can certainly be skewed unknowingly. Our capacity or tendency to be threatened in ingrained within us naturally. It can also be a result of upbringing as well. Some of it is triggered merely by standing eye-to-eye with one another; In addition, the principle of ‘shared governance’ can cause threats. Stan describes shared governance as shared principles that both parties believe in that will protect one from each other. He also tells us that this is how society works: we share a similar mythology, an analogous narrative is followed that reflects shared sentiments of governance. Really check out this episode to hear Stan explain it in much more detail. Putting the Relationship First? Stan stands by this practice. He says a lot of breakdown in relationships hinges on differences in focus. If both of you agree to put the kids first over the relationship, Stan believes everyone suffers. He doesn’t condone neglecting the child, but just like well-worn maxim of taking care of yourself before others, so too everyone benefits if there's a strong foundation to work with. The Couple Bubble This interesting concept is described as two people protecting their relationship ‘ecosystem’. This system is built on accountability, that is, the push-and-pull of a symbiotic partnership where one action affects the other tangibly. Stan tells you to think of it this way: the couple bubble can either guarantee mutually assured destruction or mutually assured survival! Keeping the bubble in focus is extremely important. Much more is said. Do yourself a favor and listen along! What About Mutually Exclusive Needs? During the episode, the very crucial question of differing needs arise. What if there are instances, major or minor, where accommodating each other is very difficult. A job interview that necessitates a move, or simply a softball game that cuts into bowling night. Whatever the event, Stan stresses the need for win-win situations to be created. This compromise works well to keep couples engaged and actively working for each other. When asked if anyone can learn these skills of creating win-wins and of being attuned to the needs of the delicate relationship ecosystem, Stan says it’s not a matter of capacity but of will. If you are chained to someone, you will work together to move successfully. If you are stranded on an island, you will work with your partner to survive. If you are locked in a room with the only stipulation being that you need to come to an agreement, you will think of something. It is will and not capacity. Stan’s Take on Sex To keep this brief, being transparent, communicating, cutting back on self-serving sexual practices, understanding the reasons for performance anxiety, and quickly addressing disagreements before your negative biases compound the problem are all aspects that are discussed in this episode. Check it out! We Versus Me Stan closes out the episode by accentuating the importance of focusing on ‘we-ism’ over ‘me-ism’. If you can be mindful of instances in your life where self-serving behavior is harming the overall ‘we’ dynamic of the relationship, then shifting your priorities is essential. For much more on these powerful concepts, tune into this episode. Very impressive stuff. Key Links for Stan Tatkin For Training and Therapy: The PACT Institute - https://thepactinstitute.com/ Stan’s Personal Website: https://stantatkin.com/ Affiliate links for Stan’s books (meaning I earn a small commission on your purchase): We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love: https://amzn.to/2EcDOhN Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship https://amzn.to/2QL669Z Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate: https://amzn.to/2EdHsbu Relationship Rx: https://amzn.to/2SGQH83 Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships: https://amzn.to/2Epptj8 More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

My guest Amanda Testa is an expert in sex and love. She is the founder of Find Your Feminine Fire, which is a program that combines concepts from neuroscience and tantra. Utilizing her coaching experience and knowledge in the field, she aims to empower women to be more confident and sexually expressive. As Amanda states during the episode, before she was a Sex, Love, and Embodiment coach, she worked in corporate sales. But after her daughter was born, Amanda decided it was best to stay home and take care of her. Despite the neverending busyness of motherhood, Amanda was given more time to pursue her passions in health and wellness. Eventually, she became a personal trainer and spearheaded Stroller Strides classes to help new mothers stay active and confident in their skin. This was the crucial beginning that would soon unlock the potential she saw in herself, and which she knew other women deserved to unlock as well. This whole process is beautifully outlined in this episode, and it is absolutely worth your time and attention. Sexuality As a Magical Key to Unlock Yourself After having been a mother eighteen months or so, Amanda started to resent herself and her own sexuality. A common occurrence for mother’s, she was depressed, and was struggling with low self-esteem and that vicious cycle of negative perception. It was through sexuality that she found the empowering answers she was looking for: the magical key which unlocked that celebratory fire of femininity within her. Listen to hear her describe it in her own words! Defining Feminine Fire Amanda calls it a vibrancy, a radiance, energy that all women are born with. Sadly though, modern life always finds a way to distract women from tapping into that wellspring of femininity. Women are stifled, so busy with their everyday business, professional life, and intellectual growth, that for the most part, the fire is not stoked; it barely flickers. But Amanda wants to stress that this fire is not restricted to certain genders. This energy is within all human beings, but because she works mainly with women, her focus is largely on the feminine side of the fire. Interestingly though, Amanda discusses the sentiment of the Yin and Yang, and compares that to the feminine fire, stating that just like males have a percentage of the female Yang, so too do they have the feminine aspects of the “fire” within themselves. Much more is said about this during the episode. Really fascinating stuff! You won’t want to miss it. Signs of Energy Imbalance || How to Fix Them Being burned out, overwhelmed, rage, aggression, not talking to your spouse, or a mixture of emotions that tend to dominate the disposition on a consistent basis are all signs that your fire is out of whack. There are ways to fix this imbalance though, as Amanda lays out in the episode. Reconnecting to your desires is one of the biggest steps towards rekindling your fire. Amanda suggests just sitting down and writing your desires out. It does not matter if your only desire in the entire world is to have a cup of coffee, as long as you are writing it down and conditioning your mind to start reconnecting with your desires, that is all that matters. She suggests that you force yourself to spend 10 minutes with this exercise on a consistent basis. You will be surprised at how tangibly your desires are fleshed out before you. Another step is to reconnect with your senses again. Amanda suggests being mindful and purposefully spending the time to pay attention and to be present. By engaging the senses, you can deepen the connection between you and your fire. She says to try it for yourself: the next time you are eating, pay attention to the taste, the sensations, and derive as much enjoyment as possible from the act. This can, of course, be applied to the bedroom as well. She goes into more detail in the episode. It is really great stuff that you won’t want to miss! Fear Can Sit in the Backseat, But it Can't Drive the Car Amanda very importantly highlights the importance of acknowledging fears. It is so crucial to analyze a fear, let it have its say, but to not let it drive the car, so to speak. Being mindful of fear, just like reconnecting with senses through mindfulness, is a very powerful exercise. If we stifle fears, they drive our actions unconsciously. We want to be aware of them, but not let them win out. Giving Yourself Permission to Feel This is the fifth and final step in Amanda’s process for finding your inner fire. Through it, Amanda wants to reinforce the concept that no feeling is off limits. Be open to any feeling, any reaction, any thought. You can’t connect with your inner energy if you don’t allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of sensations and emotions that arise. She reminds us that our culture often only tells us that we are able to feel good emotions. And that is a terribly lopsided approach to experience life and develop as a person. We need both the good and the bad, so don’t be afraid to feel them. Most Important Takeaway of the Episode Amanda reassures listeners that it is no wonder we struggle with unlocking our inner fire; we have never been taught. So that fact relieves a lot of our burden. We shouldn’t feel guilty or behind in development. The good news is that these skills are learnable skills, and with enough practice are extremely doable. You just need to start small and transform your life from the inside out. As always, there is much more said during the episode, especially about how these concepts relate to sexuality on a deeper level. Please check it out to absorb all of Amanda’s message. Key Links for Amanda Testa Website: https://www.amandatesta.com/ Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/find-your-feminine-fire/id1358454112?mt=2 More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Today, Lisa Diamond tells us about her past and present research on sexual fluidity. Lisa M. Diamond is Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. Her research focuses on the development and dynamic expression of sexual identity and orientation over the life course, the influences of early life experiences on psychosocial and psychosexual development, and the biological mechanisms through which intimate relationships shape mental and physical health. Where it all began When Lisa Diamond first started graduate school, she was interested in studying lesbian and gay youth - a new field in the early 90s. Early on in her readings, she found a paucity of studies focused on young women. As a feminist and a new researcher trying to find a unique way to enter the field, Lisa posed the following questions: ‘where are the women and what are their experiences? Why have they been underrepresented?’ Sexual orientation: not so categorical after all Lisa describes her first study, an interview project, where she recruited young women that were non-heterosexual (in some way) to answer her questions. She continues to reveal how their patterns of attractions and behavior led her to conclude that sexual orientation is not as categorical as previously thought and that, although her study focused on the experiences of women, this is not a female phenomenon but rather “a human thing”. She is still following the women from this study (which began in 1995) and listeners can hear more about stories she has collected over the years that have surprised her. What is fluidity? According to Lisa, fluidity is “a capacity to respond erotically to a broader range of stimuli and people than are necessarily a part of your sexual orientation.” The distinction between sexual orientation and fluidity is still being figured out, but Lisa notes an important distinction is the difference in patterns between bisexual women and fluid lesbians or fluid heterosexuals. That is, bisexual women have a more consistent behavioral pattern whereas fluid individuals are much more sporadic in their attractions which are context dependent. Tune in to catch the entire discussion about fluidity and some interesting examples from her research. Why do we feel the need to categorize everyone? The conversation shifts slightly to talking about the human need to categorize and give everyone an (sexual) identity rather than being fluid. Lisa explains that the reason we stereotype or categorize in general is because our brain simply cannot process all of the information coming in from our surroundings. We need to categorize, and as long as we realize that our stereotypes are human creations and not natural types, it’s okay. Fluidity may be a generational thing Lisa returns to her 1995 (ongoing) study to explain that in the 80s and 90s it was important to find a community and to be able to connect with folks who had a shared experience. Identity labels were a way to do that and were necessary in a way that youth today do not experience. Lisa believes the younger generation of queer folk is more comfortable not having a label and thus not identifying as anything. What are the takeaways? To conclude, Lisa beautifully articulates several points. First, she contends that while there is a lot of talk about the stigma that (queer) people face, much of the stigmatizing and is done by ourselves: we project our own abnormal-ness onto ourselves. Furthermore, sexual fluidity teaches us about the incredible diversity of the human condition. Given that the hallmark of humans as a species is the ability to adapt, it should come as no surprise that humans are also flexible when it comes to sexuality, spirituality, gender, etc. Final words Lisa leaves us with the following statement: “If we can adopt an approach of being more forgiving of ourselves and one another when we don’t fit what we think is expected, it would make a lot of people a lot happier.” Affiliate link to her book: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire: https://amzn.to/2Pm3WK5 More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

My guest Daniela Wittmann is an expert on prostate health and urology. In fact, she is a very prominent member of the Prostate Cancer Survivorship Program; in addition, she is an associate professor of Urology and Social Work in the University of Michigan Health System. In this interview, she informs listeners on prostate health and penile rehabilitation--particularly after surgery, radiation, or hormone treatment for males who have had prostate cancer. It is a very informative and important talk, and even if you aren’t currently going through the complications of prostate cancer, getting a jumpstart on learning about the subject is very important. Screening for Prostate Cancer As Daniela states, prostate cancer is asymptomatic, which means that symptoms don’t show up until well after it has already metastasized or shown up in the prostate. It is screened, if there are abnormalities caught in the screen then a biopsy is usually done and then a number of treatment options are available as a next step. Daniela goes into more detail during the episode. Treatment Options That Affect Sexual Functioning If non-aggressive and very localized, men can always go under ‘active surveillance.’ At this point, physicians simply monitor and watch to see if the cancer gets more aggressive. This treatment method has no sexual side effects. Another treatment is when the cancer is localized, so treatment typically centers around radiation or surgery. Side effects do occur with this type of treatment. For most men, after they do the surgery, they will experience erectile dysfunction because the nerves responsible for making the penis erect are damaged during surgery. In addition, urinary incontinence can occur as well. For more information on treatment options, as well as the side effects of radiation, Daniella provides a succinct breakdown of the treatment options. Men Resisting or Putting Off Treatment? Because there are considerable side effects like loss of libido, lower testosterone, and impaired erectile function, to name a few, some men choose to resist treatment. Daniela states that there are a number of studies which show that men choose not to get treatment because of how daunting the choice can be. Of course, one would want to treat cancer, but to lose sexual function is not attractive to anyone. Some men choose to only monitor their cancer and wait until it gets much worse. Things to Be Aware Of Among many other facets, Daniela stresses the importance of communicating concerns about loss of sexual function to your physician. But as she says, when it comes to cancer, many physicians downplay the importance of communicating sexual side effects because cancer is the far more serious factor at play. As a result, Daniela says that many men are often surprised by the side effects after treatment. Communication is key between patient and physician. Also requesting to the surgeon that as many nerves be spared as possible during surgery, is a very important thing to consider. What Does Penile Rehabilitation Look Like? Penile rehabilitation in this context means to protect the penile tissue from atrophying. Daniela highlights a number of strategies that are used to accomplish this: low doses of Viagra or Cialis to breathe oxygen and blood into the penis; another is penile injections which do the same thing, and stimulation of the nerves in the penis to maintain penile tissue. For erections, a vacuum pump can be used to maintain a hard erection as well. And all of this is used to maintain the ability for sexual function once the penis has been rehabilitated enough. For much more, tune in. Recommended Time Rehabilitating and The Frequency Although Daniela says that there is no conclusive time period that one should most effectively rehabilitate, the minimum amount of time should be about three-six months or so. “And the frequency,” you might ask? Although there isn’t an exact, prescribed standard that physicians recommend, for Daniela, she states that 3x a week is what she asks of her patients. As well as have orgasms through masturbation or with the help of a partner 3-4 times a week. She goes into more detail during the interview. Advice for Couples Daniela preaches the importance of patience. For those who are still wanting to be sexually active in their relationships, the erections take time to come back. Patience is key. She encourages understanding between couples and support with orgasms and erections. Don’t over-focus on penetration; look to oral sex and other methods as well. It is a challenge but being flexible and shifting sexual priority is very important. Final Thoughts Daniela stresses the importance of communicating with one another during the sexual difficulties that often occur after surgery. Because it can be easy to not talk about it while things are healthy and working smoothly, learning how to communicate is one of the most important facets of the whole process. And for her final closing thought, really listen in and take in all that she has to say on this very important topic. Check the links below to learn more about Daniela. Key Links for Daniela Wittmann Daniela's Bio and University of Michigan Information: https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/urology/daniela-wittmann-phd-lmsw Prostate Survivorship Program: https://www.rogelcancercenter.org/prostate-cancer/survivorship More info: Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass