Better Sex

Kim joins me on this episode to discuss blocks to orgasm.  Her aim is to work with the subconscious mind to transform women.   What Blocks Orgasm? She delves into the root of the problem being control over women even at an intimate level and shares what these blocks actually look like.  She touches on society’s reaction to kids unknowingly exploring their bodies and being shamed for their behavior as opposed to them being guided to understand when it’s appropriate. Other blocks include sexual trauma and religion which frowns upon individuals seeking physical pleasure.   Our Minds Can Create Blocks Kim talks about the role our minds play when reacting to sex or orgasm. She mentions how our subconscious feeds our responses by recalling its very first sexual experience and the feelings it brought with it. This of course manifests in our daily lives and sexual encounters. Being aware of our personal stories around sex is key to understanding our blocks and how to fix them. This helps to distinguish between those who have blocks and those who just haven’t discovered how to reach orgasm yet. Rapid Transformational Therapy Kim tells us about a method called Rapid Transformational Therapy. The technique uses hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy and NLP, and it uncovers memories from the subconscious to help her clients. Dealing with the mind is crucial to helping clients as Kim emphasizes. What to do on your own Kim suggests once you are open to reaching and enjoying intimacy, that you spend time on your own figuring out what you like and what works for you sexually. If you are unsure of what an orgasm feels like, Kim suggests going with whatever makes you feel good. If you want to work on your obstacles on your own, Kim suggests that you confront your thoughts around sex and tuning into your mind in order to figure out what is attached to your obstacle. She shares affirmations we can use and techniques that work. She reveals that repetition is the key to unlocking your pleasure. Background Kim Akrigg is the host of Kim Akrigg The Podcast and an RTT practitioner who studied under Marissa Peer. Her work focuses around using your subconscious mind to unlock your orgasm! Resources and Links Website: http://kimakrigg.com IG : @kim.akrigg More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/151-blocks-to-orgasm-kim-akriggWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn With children being exposed to porn as early as 10 today, Braxton, teaches us how to deal with pornography and kids. He defines porn as content that is intentionally created for a sexual purpose like arousal.   For many parents, the task may seem daunting and confusing to broach. In this episode, Braxton takes us by the hand and explains exactly what we need to do to raise healthy, aware and responsible children. His advice is to start by knowing your own parameters and values. The journey starts as early as the infant stage where we are encouraged to use the correct terms for body parts. With many kids having access to electronic devices, Braxton expresses how important it is to create a system for your child to respond correctly to unexpected, inappropriate material. He suggests explaining to your kids as young as 6, that if they do come across any naked people on their screens, to call you instead of getting curious and clicking on it. The C’s Talking to your child openly and ensuring that your child knows that they will not get into trouble, helps them approach you therefore Braxton encourages communication. Curiosity comes up as a common thread with children, and we are encouraged to teach them how to respond to that. Braxton explains the three C’s about why your child may look at pornography: – Clicking (accidental) – Curiosity – Coping As parents, he suggests we respond with these three C’s and explains these in more detail: – Stay Curious   – Stay Connected – Stay Calm Teens Dealing with teens requires a specific approach, as many parents may already have discovered. We learn that approaching teens openly and explaining your rationale to them in line with your values as opposed to dictating to them, works best. While teens are in an exploratory phase, parents may encounter teens using porn for masturbation. Braxton gives us a helpful way to gently correct this while ensuring your teen can still explore their sexual impulses. Being responsible and not shaming your kids when they enter this phase of their lives is key to keeping an open line of communication and being there to help them into adulthood. Background Braxton Duston , LCSW, CST is the Clinical Director at The Healing Group in Salt Lake City Utah. He is also host of the Birds and Bees Podcast. In addition to this Braxton is an adjunct professor of human sexuality at the University of Utah.   With a broad spectrum of experience, Braxton helps couples, dads and parents in unique ways. Links and Resources Find him on IG :Birds and bees   Find him on FB: Braxton Dutson http://birdsandbeespodcast.com Birdsandbeespodcast@gmail.com More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/150-talking-to-your-kids-about-porn-braxton-dutsonWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

State of Our Union Program Bringing personal life experience to the fore, Corey explains how the idea of ‘The State Of Our Union’ came about. On a weekly basis Corey and his wife used a text message reminder with 5 questions. This helped them escape work and family distractions and sit down with each other religiously to talk about their personal lives, sex and their emotions. They now have a program you can join that allows you to practice the same commitment with your partner in order to share meaningful conversations. Once a week you will get a text message with 5 questions to discuss with your partner. Once every quarter you receive a different set of questions in addition to the 5 weekly questions, which are broader and more long term. Corey encourages using a journal to write your answers down so that you can track your progress and keep in touch with each other on a more personal level. Approaching what you are both grateful for is an example of what the quarterly questions include. Corey emphasizes that it is not sex-focused and can be about anything we are grateful for. The program is built to bring people together and keep people in tune with each other. In the case of couples not having the time to fit these candid heart to hearts with each other, Corey expresses that it is absolutely possible to find a few minutes to connect and not making the time is already a reflection of where your relationship is and what you need to work on. Background Corey Allan (if you want to be formal it’s Dr. Corey Allan, but he’s usually pretty casual) is a husband, father, author, speaker, as well as a Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy. He and his wife Pam host a weekly podcast, Sexy Marriage Radio, where they help frame the conversation for couples to experience the best sex possible in their marriage. Corey has a private practice in McKinney, TX and is the founder of sexymarriage.net, an online resource aimed at helping marriages not just survive, but thrive. Pam is a CPA at a small firm in Frisco TX as well as a co-pilot with Corey’s work. To sum it up … Love is a process, not just a feeling. It produces action. Added to this, life is a choice (so is marriage). Therefore, we work to help people: Grow deeper Spiritually Keep it simple Be passionate Live in community with others Enjoy the ride Marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. So when you keep things simple, you are in a better position to experience more in marriage and life. “I don’t want people surviving their relationships, I want them thriving.” ~ Dr. Corey Allan Links and Resources: http://sexymarriage.net http://sexymarriageradio.com http://smrnation.com More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/149-the-state-of-our-union-dr-corey-allanWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Alba  Soto is my guest on this episode. She shares her ‘triggered life’ experience, which still haunts her today. Her trauma began at the age of 3 at the hand of family members. Alba shares her addiction to masturbation as a coping mechanism which fueled her sense of guilt. She shares how she managed to escape this life and the twist of events that led her abusers back to her. People pleasing was Alba’s symptom of  her trauma, always aiming to be a ‘good girl.’ In an eye opening observation, Alba explains that trauma is the gateway drug to addiction and that any form of addiction is a coping tool. Her journey progresses into adolescence and adulthood, where she found herself in similar situations even in her personal relationships, being raped and involved with toxic partners. Not knowing who she really was, was a huge obstacle in finding her confidence and with the help of her now husband, Alba reveals how he played a role in helping her find herself and express her emotions and thoughts openly in a safe place. When she experiences a ‘ triggering’ moment, Alba is now comfortable enough to talk about it and this, she shares is a liberating tool. Alba currently still experiences trauma triggers and reveals how powerful having a voice is when she experiences these triggers. Background Alba Soto is the founder of Alba Soto TLC. She is a positive and resilient trauma survivor, dedicated to helping single mothers who have suffered from sexual trauma. As a certified trauma life coach, Alba helps single mothers get unstuck by applying her unique principles of active healing. Through personal experience she has learned that ” Without tools, Trauma Rules.” This is what led her to share the tools that turned her from accepting people who took advantage of her to now only accepting healthy and reciprocal relationships. These tools facilitate active healing and help women find their voice and reclaim their power.   Albas vision is to create a community of resilient women through my sisters circle community,    ” Better TogetHER,” a sacred space to connect with other like spirited resilient women who are ready to move towards a life that is free of shame, guilt and anger.   Links and Resources https://www.facebook.com/Albasototlc/ https://www.instagram.com/albasototlc/ Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/148-personal-story-a-triggered-life-albaWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Heather Shannon joins us on this episode to delve deeper into what being sex positive or sex negative actually means. In explaining what it actually means, Shannon relates it to a sense of freedom that you would find between two consenting parties to express whoever they are with each other. We discover how sex negativity is integrated into our society and how liberating it can be to know other variations and options regarding sexuality. What Does it Mean to Be Sex Negative Shannon shares examples of this which include discomfort around sexual orientation, performance anxiety and unusual fetishes. Being unable or uncomfortable to say NO also hinges on sex negativity as Shannon explains in more detail. Interestingly, she notes that people with sexual trauma can be sex positive. With many cultural and social factors working against sex positivity, Shannon highlights the sex education at schools as a key area that can be improved to move children toward a healthier perception of sex. What Does it Mean to Be Sex Positive A broad definition of this is being able to express your sexual self and feeling comfortable with it. Shannon points out that providing a space for this kind of expression fuels sex positivity. She suggests being selective about the social media you subscribe to and to intentionally surround yourself with sex positive content. Another tip she shares is having a sex therapist that can provide you with a safe space to be yourself to improve your sex positivity. Background Heather Shannon, LCPC is a Sex & Relationship Therapist who works with individuals and relationship partners through online video sessions. She is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Meditation Guide and completed a Certificate in Sexual Health from University of Michigan with a focus on both Sex Therapy and Sexuality Education. Heather’s focus is on working with the Alt Sex community, helping people heal attachment wounds and integrating sexuality and spirituality. Links and Resources https://heathershannon.co https://heathershannon.co/bettersex Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/147-becoming-sex-positive-with-heather-shannonWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Sex After Spinal Cord Injury On this episode, Mitchell joins us to discuss the impact of a spinal injury on sexual function. Having experienced this type of injury personally, he shares his journey to teaching people about sexual health being one of the first people to have a sexual health domain registered in 1996. The website was intended to help people with disabilities with their sexual health but soon became a central source of sexual health information for all kinds of people. The Importance of Trust Setting myths aside, Mitchell explains that people with disabilities can experience sexual pleasure, erections, etc but some have difficulty expressing themselves. After research into this, he found that people need a partner they can trust to reach the point of sexual pleasure and comfort.   A critical part of this is relearning the truth about sex, departing from the limiting physical definition to experiencing trust, safety, and connectedness. Mitchell is a testament to breaking physical boundaries with this combination. He has found that even those with disabilities below their injury region have experienced an orgasm with the proper context and approach. Sexual Self Esteem In other areas of his research, Mitchell tells us about the effect of how much time has passed post-injury and sexual self-esteem on sexual health. His findings also point to people having higher sexual self-esteem if they were born with their disability as opposed to people who acquired their injury. This is based on the latter group constantly comparing their past sexual performance with their current ability. These Ideas Apply to Everyone In his process of helping people, Mitchell explains that he helps his clients understand how their new bodies work, as this is usually overlooked or taken for granted. In addition to this, he encourages people to make use of touch, sound, and sensation to help people reach sexual pleasure. For people that aren’t struggling with a disability but want to explore a deeper and meaningful sexual experience, Mitchell advocates sensate focus. He further explains that this builds sexual communication and advocates touching for your own sexual satisfaction, allowing your partner to provide feedback. Mitchell also finds that Tantra a meaningful technique to deeper sexual experiences. The technique has three main factors: Stop, focus, and connect, which he digs deeper into. Achieving Orgasm Mitchell’s techniques are beneficial to able-bodied and disabled people, revealing that penetration is not at all the only means to orgasm. With dozens of examples of non-penetrative orgasms amongst his findings, he shares real cases with us that shed light on this experience. Undoing learned habits is just as huge a part of the difficult journey to experiencing sexual liberation. Incorporating play into sex is also a great way to make it less serious. Background Dr. Mitchell Tepper, author of Regain That Feeling: Secrets to Sexual Self-Discovery, brings a lifetime of first-hand experience with chronic conditions and disability to his work as a Sexuality Researcher, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator and Counselor, Coach, and self-proclaimed Prophet of Pleasure.  He has a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality Education from the University of Pennsylvania and a Master’s in Public Health from Yale. Dr. Tepper worked on ground-breaking research on orgasm in women with spinal cord injuries with world-renowned orgasm researchers Drs. Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk. Over the last 14 years, Dr. Tepper has turned his attention to helping wounded veterans and their partners navigate intimate relationships. His forthcoming documentary, Love After War, tells the stories of intimate partners who have won the battle for love.   Links and Resources Website: http://drmitchelltepper.com Documentary: http://Loveafterwar.org Book: https://www.amazon.com/Regain-That-Feeling-Self-Discovery-Relationships/dp/1505444993/ Social Media: https://www.facebook.com/doctortepper https://www.facebook.com/LoveAfterWar https://twitter.com/DoctorT https://www.instagram.com/drmtepper/ More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/146-what-we-can-learn-from-people-with-spinal-cord-injury-dr-mitchell-tepperWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Sensate Focus Exercises Sensate focus is a touching technique for couples or individuals that stimulates the primal part of the brain to enjoy a fully immersive experience with your partner. The technique starts with focusing on temperature, texture and pressure and uses a tactile sensation to move away from distraction. Linda uses the technique for almost everything ranging from low/ no desire, sexual dysfunction, trauma, body image issues to rekindling connection between couples. One Size Doesn’t Fit All With each individual experiencing sensation differently, Linda highlights building up sexual tension with touch. From Linda’s experience, there is often a need to manage each level as it is approached. She removes conflict and pressure from couples relationships, by taking on the instruction/ control role. Her sessions help couples identify the difference between vulnerability and rejection. How Do You Start With Sensate Focus? With no hard and fast rule, couples can choose certain factors in their environment to ensure that they are at ease eg clothing (or no clothing). Linda’s rules include no kissing and no talking. She points out that talking uses the front of the brain and therefore brings individuals back to logic. Linda mentions that the toucher is supposed to touch for their pleasure while the person being touched, needs to experience the touch and provide feedback if something is not comfortable. Obstacles Linda shares that avoidance is one of the main issues that couples encounter. She reveals how she handles this delay tactic fairly. For clients that don’t like the technique, she reminds them about the basic three areas of focus temperature, texture and pressure. Partner pressure is an obvious obstacle that Linda notices with her clients. She uses a great analogy to help us accept our differences and move couples through the basic steps at their own pace. Background Linda Weiner, MSW, LCSW, Owner of Sex Therapist St Louis, LLC is a Certified Diplomate in Sex Therapy, a Supervisor for Certification in Sex Therapy & Sexuality Counseling and a CE provider for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). She earned a B.A. in Psychology from American University and an MSW from the University of Missouri. Linda trained at Masters & Johnson Institute and was employed there for five years as the director of Training & Workshops and as a Research and Clinical Associate. Evolving into private clinical practice as a therapist specializing in sexual and relationship concerns, Linda later began publishing on Sensate Focus mindful and somatic touch techniques with co-author, Dr. Constance Avery-Clark. Following the publication of a number of journal articles and a book chapter, Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual was published in 2017. For 15 years, Linda served as an adjunct professor at the Brown School, Washington University. Linda has presented nationally and internationally and has been interviewed by a number of media outlets including CNN. Her current interest is in transmitting information about the use of Sensate Focus techniques to physicians and Allied health professionals who represent the first contact with sexually distressed individuals. Links and Resources Phone: 314-588-8924 Email: sextherapiststlouis@gmail.com Website: http://www.sextherapiststlouis.com Twitter: @couplesguru Instagram: @lindajweiner More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/145-sensate-focus-linda-weinerWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Paula shares that mindfulness plays a key role in sex therapy which ties in mind and body by focusing on sensate focus and behavior. The therapy is purely verbal and while it implies a physical element, that only happens in a clients home away from their therapy so that progress can be made. Paula emphasizes that a major part of her clients have underlying anxiety struggles. She points out that sex therapy is used to treat this before ever focusing on sex. Who needs sex therapy? With a degree in Family therapy, Paula thinks about the ‘who’ differently. Her approach includes her client’s partner/s to get better insight into her patients’ struggle. Paula also helps single clients. She points out erectile dysfunction as an example of a problem she tackles with her single clients. Her work with these clients includes understanding their bodies and giving them tools to help themselves. Working with Paula Paula’s first sessions are honest consultations used to get to know each other as taking the first step into therapy can be daunting for clients. She moves on to providing the way forward and answering any questions around this. Obviously this varies with each clients unique situation since her clients experience a range of difficulties from sexual trauma to pelvic floor issues. Paula’s direct communication and transparency is a different approach to this kind of therapy but welcomed by her clients as they find her more relatable. Fears In this type of therapy, clients are exposed to an extent and Paula reveals that fear is part of the process. One of the most common fears she finds with her clients is the fear of being judged. Another one is fear of loss of a relationship if a struggle is not overcome during the therapy. Frequency of sex often comes up with Paula finding that couples need permission to not engage in sex. Her candid and simple reaction to this is based on whether the parties are happy. Paula shares an interesting angle to look at things from when experiencing sexual struggles, highlighting that being too involved in your partners problem takes away from you focusing on you and helping from that point of view. Finding a Sex Therapist Legitimate sex therapists have an AASECT certification. Therapists do around 160 hours of courses and 300 hours with patients before being certified. Training ensures that therapists themselves are aware of their biases and comfort zones to better aid their patients. Background Paula received her bachelor’s degree in Family and Human Development at Arizona State University and then went on to receive her master’s Degree in Family Therapy at the University of Massachusetts, in Boston. Post family therapy licensure, Paula became AASECT (American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and therapists) certified as a Sex Therapist and worked with individuals, relationships, and families in private practice in Boston, Massachusetts for ten years. In that time, she received AASECT certification as a Supervisor of Sex Therapy and co-founded a sex therapy agency and training institute where we saw clients in addition to training therapists to become competent, confident sex therapists themselves. Paula continues to regularly present at various training institutes as well as Universities and therapy agencies across New England. Links and Resources: https://www.paulaleech.com/ email: pleechtherapy@gmail.com More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Webinar: How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/training Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/144-what-is-sex-therapy-like-paula-leechWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

What is Surrogate Partner Therapy Surrogate Partner Therapy offers a unique, tailored space in which to safely explore trust, communication, emotional intimacy, sensuality, and sexuality. Each of these pieces is important in their own right and essential in how they interconnect to influence healthy relationships. It facilitates the therapeutic process and focuses on physical limitations, personal history, poor self-image, communication and other broad areas in relationships. Unlike a therapist, a surrogate partner is in the relationship with you and shows you what something would feel like, lending itself to people not currently in relationships. Surrogate Partner Therapy is a Process Just like any type of work required on a relationship, the process may take some time. Early on in the process, Brian ensures that his clients are aware of what can be expected during the sessions. The session involves the client, the therapist and the surrogate partner working parallel with each other. Initially, Brian assesses his clients to see if they are a good fit for the sessions. He discusses mental disorders and active abuse as an example of clients that would not be a good fit for the therapy. Consent is Crucial Brian opens up the consent conversation and how critical it is to measure if his clients understand consent. He takes us through the exercise he uses throughout his sessions, to ensure that his clients understand consent and know how to identify it. Specialized Training is Important While this type of therapy is not offered by therapists, Brian discusses the process of involving his clients’ therapists and ensuring that they too are not overstepping personal or professional comfort boundaries. To ensure you are getting a certified surrogate partner, Brian suggests getting recommendations and getting a feel for how your therapist works. The typical way a surrogate partner works is within a triad. Communication is usually a main area of discussion while sexual focus comes in as a client requires it. Brian mentions the certifying organizations available that you can use to check if your surrogate partner is certified. Background Over the course of his adult life, Brian has worn many hats: research scientist (BA, Molecular biology; Masters, Microbiology), teacher, professional artist, performer, and parent. The common thread that has run through all of those vocations has been the joy of learning, discovery, and improvement.In parallel with his professional life, he has also been keenly interested in interpersonal interactions, intimacy, and authenticity. These two facets have merged in his practice as a Surrogate Partner. Brian received his training in Surrogate Partner Therapy from IPSA (the International Professional Surrogates Association) in 2016. In addition to being a member of IPSA, he is also a surrogate partner member of IMBT (Institute for Mind-Body Therapy), AIHG (Ananda Integrative Health Group), and AASECT(American Association of Sex Educators Counsellors and Therapists). Brian is a founding member of the surrogate Partner Collective and Chair of AASECT’s Somatic Sexuality Professionals Special InterestGroup.In his practice, Brian seeks to help clients create foundational self-knowledge that enables them to effectively navigate healthy and fulfilling intimate relationships. Motivating this is the core belief that sharing intimacy with others is an essential part of the human experience. While it is important for everyone to have the option to feel connected with others, many find it difficult (or impossible) to make this connection. In helping clients achieve their goals, Brian strives to maintain high professional and ethical standards and promote accessibility of Surrogate Partner Therapy to ensure those in need may receive the most successful treatment. In addition to his work with clients, Brian has been advocating for his profession by education therapeutic professionals and the broader public. Drawing from his experience as an educator, he has presented at a range of professional conferences, workshops, therapeutic practices, and professional groups. In discussing his work, he hopes to encourage dialogue about a variety of topics–intimacy, sensual awareness and embodiment, and communication–that is so desperately needed in our society. Resources and Links https://www.bgsurrogatetherapy.com/ https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/ More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/143-surrogate-partner-therapy-brian-gibneyWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

On this episode, we hear from birth control expert, Emily Aytes. She uncovers some of the most common questions she receives. Interestingly, Emily shares that both young and older people ask her about birth control as it isn’t widely discussed from her experience. Her personal opinion is that having a birth control conversation with your partner early on allows you to enjoy sex and delve into other parts of your relationship. Long acting reversible contraception If you have ever wondered what a LARC is, Emily explains the acronym to us : LONG ACTING REVERSIBLE CONTRACEPTIVE. This includes IUDs which can last between 3-12 years. Emily shares the side effects of the IUD and unpacks NEXPLANON, the copper and plastic iud. Benefits of this include not having to remember anything as these methods provide protection without any further human intervention once they are implanted. If you change your mind and decide to remove the device, rest assured that it’s relatively easy to continue where you left off. The shot is another commonly taken contraceptive in this category and contains Progesterone. Again, Emily discusses the side effects and notes that this method too is pretty effective. Other Birth Control Methods The pill has proven to be a highly effective method from Emily’s findings, however she notes the side effects and the fact that human intervention is required everyday, opening up a window for error and loss of effectiveness. Touching on condom use, Emily explains how human error can result in a lack of effectiveness while doubling up on methods eg IUD plus a condom, can increase effectiveness. On the positive side, condoms are accessible without prescription and offer a wide range to suit your personal preference. Planned Parenthood website is recommended if you are interested in a more natural method that does not require any external intervention. Common Questions One of the most common questions Emily gets asked is around how pregnancy occurs. For this reason, she explains the biological process for us in an easy to understand way. We learn more about emergency contraceptive including the morning after pill : Plan B ( no script required) and Ella ( which requires a script) and the Copper T which is extremely effective. Another common question Emily gets is whether you can get pregnant during your period. While it is possible, she explains it is not likely. For a more behavioural method of contraceptive, Emily discusses withdrawal which is only 78% effective. Background Emily Aytes (she/they pronouns) is a community outreach educator with Planned Parenthood in Indiana state. As an educator, her role includes offering comprehensive, inclusive, and medically accurate sexual health information to her local community and beyond. The majority of her work in the community is with young people in middle and high school classrooms teaching about relationships, consent, birth control methods, STIs, gender, and communication skills. Emily is passionate about all folks having access to sexual health information so that they can make their own informed decisions. She also enjoys teaching about racial and social justice, LGBTQ+ identities, and sexual pleasure Resources and Links https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control https://www.bedsider.org/methods More info: Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/ Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/ Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/142-birth-control-emily-aytesWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass