Better Sex

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jess Zimmerman speaks with Lilith Foxx and Remi Newman about their new anthology, 'Hands-On.' The book is a collection of stories from sex workers that highlight the compassion, connection, and healing found in their work. The guests elaborate on the misconceptions surrounding sex work, the role of social justice, and their personal journeys within the profession. Lilith shares her empowering experience as a former sex worker and educator, while Remi details her path as a surrogate partner. The episode emphasizes the emotional and physical healing that sex work can provide and advocates for a broader understanding and acceptance of this profession.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:52 Sound Issues and Guest Introduction01:53 The Origin of 'Hands-On' Anthology04:17 Lilith Foxx's Journey and Passion06:07 Social Justice and Sex Work07:08 Misconceptions About Sex Work08:40 Personal Stories of Entering Sex Work14:15 Support from Loved Ones16:58 Ethics and Sex Work19:11 Healing Through Sex Work22:34 Reflecting on Personal Growth and Experience23:05 Exploring the Reasons Behind Seeking Surrogate Partners and Pro Dom Services23:39 The Role of Companionship and Loneliness in Seeking Services24:33 Shame and Vulnerability in Kink and Fetish Work25:21 Drivers for Seeking Surrogate Partner Therapy29:05 The Importance of Boundaries and Therapist Involvement30:41 Reading an Excerpt: Holding Hands37:54 Book Information and Closing RemarksBios:Lilith Foxx (she/her) is a BIPOC, queer, neurodivergent, kinky and polyamorous marketing professional turned Board-certified sexologist, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, professional speaker, coach, and inclusivity consultant. She is a graduate of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University’s Human Sexuality Intensive program, and is certified by Johns Hopkins University in psychological first aid. She is currently pursuing a master's degree in Public Health.Her work focuses on the intersectionality of marginalized identities, alternative sexuality, and social justice. Informed by her personal and professional experiences, she provides BDSM and nonmonogamy cultural competency consulting for clinical, academic, and research settings, and facilitates workshops on sexuality justice and inclusion. Her expertise has been featured in several publications including Cosmopolitan, Glamour, HuffPost, Kinkly, GQ, Playboy, Men's Health, and in LiveJasmin's 'Life in Red' docu-series.Remi Newman is a sexuality educator, writer and surrogate partner. She is the editor of the new anthology Hands On: Stories of Sexuality Work, Intimacy, and Healing. Remi has over 25 years working in the field of sexuality empowering people of diverse backgrounds to live healthy and fulfilling sex lives. She received her Master's in sexuality education from NYU. She is the proud mama of a teenage son, three naughty kitties and two adventurous crayfish. Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of Better Sex, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman dives into the concept of anger as a secondary emotion. She discusses how anger often masks more vulnerable feelings like fear, sadness, hurt, and shame. Zimmerman explains the importance of identifying and expressing these underlying emotions for better intimate relationships and effective communication. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their true feelings to foster empathy and connection with their partners.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:50 Understanding Anger as a Secondary Emotion02:00 Exploring the Emotions Underneath Anger03:26 Practical Steps to Address Anger05:11 Conclusion and Listener EngagementWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of Better Sex, host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Dr. Nicole Thompson about her journey from purity culture to sexual liberation, focusing on how psychedelics can aid in this transition. They discuss the impact of purity culture, the importance of community, and the principles of set and setting in psychedelic-assisted therapy. Nicole shares her experiences and insights on how to use psychedelics to enhance sexual pleasure and dismantle shame. They also touch on the significance of communication, consent, and the importance of feeling safe in sexual experiences.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex01:01 Guest Introduction: Nicole Thompson on Sexual Liberation01:56 Nicole's Journey from Purity Culture to Sexual Freedom03:05 Challenges and Transformations in Sexual Liberation06:01 Therapeutic Approaches and Sexual Healing14:41 Exploring Psychedelic Integration in Therapy17:14 Creating a Safe and Intentional Space for Psychedelic Therapy18:36 The Importance of Graduated Dosages in Psychedelic and Sexual Experiences20:18 Applying Set and Setting to Sexual Liberation22:04 The Role of Community and Safe Practices in Psychedelic and Sexual Experiences25:08 Recognizing Boundaries and Red Flags in Sexual Relationships27:33 The Power of Communication and Integration in Sexual Experiences29:52 Hopes for the Future: Ending Rape Culture and Closing the Orgasm Gap32:19 Resources and Final ThoughtsVisit https://www.intimacywithease.com if you'd like to explore how to work with me.Guest bio:Nicole is a queer Sex and Relationships psychotherapist and the host of the Modern Anarchy podcast. She’s the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships and conducted the first published academic study on Relationship Anarchy.Nicole is widely recognized as a leading theorist on non-monogamy and sexuality. Through her private client work with The Pleasure Practice, she helps people liberate pleasure, navigate desire, and create deeply connected relationships rooted in authenticity and expansion.www.modernanarchypodcast.comWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the concept of proactive versus reactive desire in intimate relationships. She delves into how these different types of desires function and the importance of recognizing them. Zimmerman emphasizes not measuring desire at the beginning but rather in the middle, once the 'engine' has warmed up. This shift in perspective can help partners feel more desired and reduce stress around sexual relationships. The episode provides valuable insights for partners dealing with different levels of desire, aiming to improve their intimate connection.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex01:01 Understanding Proactive and Reactive Desire02:09 The Importance of Feeling Wanted02:50 Measuring Desire in the Middle04:23 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Join Zach Brittle, a Seattle-based couples therapist and host of Marriage Therapy Radio, as he unpacks the complexities of relationships. He dives into negative sentiment override, a phenomenon distorting couples' perceptions and communication. Discover how emotional intelligence can be a game-changer, offering strategies for resolving conflicts and enhancing intimacy. Zach shares his journey into couples therapy, revealing the differences between individual and couple-focused practices, making this discussion a treasure trove for anyone navigating relationship dynamics.

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Bonnie Comfort, a psychologist and couples counselor, discusses her journey through 30 years of marriage and the influence of loss on her writing. She highlights the struggles of sexual incompatibility and societal expectations, emphasizing the importance of honesty, empathy, and self-advocacy in relationships. Bonnie shares personal experiences that reveal the complexities of intimacy and communication. Her insights serve as a guide for couples navigating their own challenges, encouraging both vulnerability and support amidst life's ups and downs.

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman, discusses the concept of reactive desire, where individuals may not initially feel in the mood for sex but can become aroused through the process. She emphasizes the importance of entering intimate situations with an open, flexible mindset without predefined expectations, allowing for the possibility of reactive desire to manifest. Jessa advises against making upfront decisions about the sexual outcome and advocates for focusing on pleasure and connection. She also highlights the significance of mutual flexibility between partners to enhance intimate experiences. Listeners are encouraged to keep an open-ended 'maybe' attitude in intimate moments to foster spontaneity and deeper connection.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:51 Understanding Reactive Desire02:19 The Importance of Flexibility in Desire02:57 Avoiding Preconceived Notions04:36 Final Thoughts and OutroWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of Better Sex, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Dr. Jenn Kennedy to discuss the specific challenges women face around sexual desire. Dr. Kennedy shares her passion for women's health and the importance of inclusive research. Key topics include body image concerns, the impact of cultural messages, attachment theory, the role of EMDR in overcoming sexual trauma, and strategies for women to advocate for their own pleasure. The discussion also highlights the significance of relationship dynamics, the influence of upbringing, and how societal expectations shape women's experiences with sexuality. Dr. Kennedy also introduces her group work with The Pleasure Circle as a means to support women in their sexual journey.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:46 Welcoming Dr. Jenn Kennedy00:55 Challenges in Women's Sexual Desire02:47 Body Image and Its Impact06:48 The Journey to Self-Acceptance10:13 Understanding EMDR Therapy14:12 Overcoming Negative Beliefs19:04 People Pleasing in the Bedroom21:02 Understanding Women's Disconnect from Sexual Desire21:29 Generational Differences in Sexual Attitudes22:48 The Impact of Pain and Communication in Sexual Relationships24:26 Strategies for Women to Advocate for Their Sexual Needs27:49 Factors Influencing Women's Sexual Desire29:42 Attachment Theory and Sexual Strategies33:05 The Role of Pleasure and Self-Care in Sexual Satisfaction38:19 Exploring Female Sexuality in Group Settings39:39 Resources and Final ThoughtsWant to work with me? Visit https://www.intimacywithease.comBio:Dr. Jenn Kennedy is a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist based in Santa Barbara. She specializes in the areas of relationships, sex, addiction and LGBT. In 2023, Dr. Jenn launched The Pleasure Project, which is dedicated to helping us all have a better sex life. Through this venture, she hosts a podcast called Pleasure Project: Sex & Relationships and offers small group intensives for women and couples. She recently launched a self-guided course and is coming out with a Pleasure Circle workbook in 2025. Dr. Jenn has been quoted in Redbook, Reader’s Digest, Forbes Health, DailyOm, Shondaland, Parade, Allure, Yahoo!life and others. She is often tapped to discuss intimacy and sexuality for therapists and physicians.Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jenn-kennedyYou Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@drjennkennedyLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennkennedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/RivieraTherapyWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman discusses the importance of addressing and repairing intimacy and connection in a relationship before focusing on improving one's sex life. She talks about the common issues couples face when there are differences in libido and how these can lead to emotional disconnection. Jessa emphasizes the need for open, heartfelt communication, positive focus, gratitude, and fun in restoring emotional closeness. She also covers how to understand desire discrepancy, the sexual avoidance cycle, and the common mistakes higher desire partners make. The episode concludes with strategies for preparing and engaging in constructive conversations about sex, aiming to turn the topic into a positive aspect of the relationship.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:54 The Importance of Addressing the Relationship First03:21 Resetting Intimacy and Connection07:00 Understanding Desire Discrepancy08:51 Preparing for the Conversation About Sex09:59 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass