Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Episodes

Mentioned books

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Aug 12, 2020 • 22min

EP 50: The Father Wound, Childhood Trauma; Attachment Theory Informed Healing

Three words to describe my childhood:  Chaos, Unpredictable, and Loss   In this podcast episode, I get VERY VULNERABLE about my healing journey; you don’t want to miss it   I talk about how I went to therapy…   I had thought I had “dealt with it”   But the same painful patterns kept showing up in my life no matter how hard I tried…   It was not until I hit rock bottom and decided to take OWNERSHIP that I could change   I got to a point where I knew I couldn’t live the rest of my life repeating these patterns.   I knew I wouldn’t survive through it.    I knew deep down I didn’t deserve the pain either.   So I went back to therapy, I cried, I fell apart, I journaled every night, I got coaching, I read every book I could…   I even got a doctorate in Clinical Psychology   I did all the things; I did “the work”   It consisted of ownership and falling apart over and over    And slowly I built myself back up, I’ve healed many broken parts and I am grateful to say I am a completely different woman today than I was 5, 10 years ago   No longer repeating the same patterns   I am grateful. AND I am motivated to help other women heal; and for it to be a quicker road for them than it was for me   That is where the E.S.L 8 Week program came from   I wanted to give women the short-cut; I wanted to empower women in their healing so they could stop wasting time living in pain and suffering   This is not just a “business” to me; this is a mission   And if you know you need to “do the work”; I invite you to join me   A professional, but also someone who has been there.   No judgement, just healing    Ready? Go apply to the 8 Week E.S.L program using the link in my bio-you have nothing to lose, and all of the healing and peace to gain
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Aug 10, 2020 • 15min

EP 49: How to Suck at Dating: Expectations, Anxious Thinking, Poor Energy Management

Heartbreak is using the same dating approach over and over, expecting different results.    BUT what if you could do it differently, and ENJOY dating?!    Online dating, app dating, tinder, bumble, hinge, etc…   Maybe you feel overwhelmed, and “over it?”    But it doesn’t have to be that way!   In this episode, I give you the tools to put the joy back into your dating life.   I give you all you need to “get your groove back” by discussing:  -Trading Expectations for Curiosity -How to nip Anxious Thinking in the bud -Managing your energy like a pro  Aaaand more!    Make sure you go listen to this episode and let me know your takeaways by shooting me a DM or screenshotting the episode and tagging me in your story!    P.S. If you have not already taken the FREE quiz I have on understanding your attachment style, ummmmmm what are you waiting for?! Click here for the quiz!
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Aug 5, 2020 • 11min

EP 48: Why You Need to Treat Your Relationship like a Business

Why would you schedule a business meeting, but not time to check in with your partner?   You have to KNOW where your relationship is at currently, in order to grow together   It’s like saying “hey I really want to get to Chicago” but you don’t know whether you’re starting from Portland or LA…   Why would you try to go somewhere without knowing your starting point?!    Every couple needs to know: -What is working–each other’s STRENGTHS  -What isn’t working–areas for improvement -What are the ways you can better support one another -What do you need from one another...ETC   Most couples don’t make the time to check-in and have these conversations…   In my experience as a couples' therapist–the couples who do these conversations, and do them well–SCHEDULE THEM   You SCHEDULE what you prioritize   When something is scheduled; that makes it real.    Inside the episode you will learn: -Why you NEED to approach your relationship like a business -How to have “relationship business meetings” -Why investing in your relationship matters -Aaaaand so much more!   Make sure you go listen to this episode and let me know your takeaways by shooting me a DM or screenshotting the episode and tagging me in your story!    P.S. If you have not already taken the FREE quiz I have on understanding your attachment style, ummmmmm what are you waiting for?! Click here to take it now!
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Aug 3, 2020 • 14min

EP 47: Vulnerability in Your Relationships: How & When to Use It and Why It’s Important

Would you rather be “safe” and alone, or vulnerable and connected?    “Safe” ends up leading to “isolated”, which leads to pain, and can lead to depression (among other things)…   When we are connected; we are ALIVE and VULNERABLE   Today’s podcast delves deep into one of my FAVORITE topics ever: VULNERABILITY  I realized my podcast was named “Let’s Get Vulnerable” and I hadn’t even recorded an episode on vulnerability yet  (GASP)   As a relationship coach and psychologist, I often get asked: “But how do I know when it’s okay to be vulnerable?!”    In today’s episode, I introduce you to one of my most used metaphors: THE INTIMACY ONION–it will help you understand how to do this whole vulnerability thing    Inside the episode will learn: -Why you NEED vulnerability in a healthy relationship -How to PACE vulnerability for a healthy relationship -Why you struggle with vulnerability, and what is going on when you “dive in too quick”   Make sure you go listen to this episode and let me know your takeaways by shooting me a DM or screenshotting the episode and tagging me in your story!    P.S. The 8 Week E.S.L relationship coaching program is OFFICIALLY  open for application! Ready to get off the relationship rollercoaster and learn how to show up secure and confident in love? Click here to apply!  .
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Jul 29, 2020 • 11min

EP 46: #1 Way to Sabotage Healthy Relationships and Stay Single Forever

Would you like to know the #1 way to sabotage your relationships?   It’s likely not what you think it is.    The #1 way you are sabotaging your relationships:  Not examining the Unhealthy Beliefs you have about relationships   In this episode, I do a deep dive on the beliefs that have sabotaged your dating life     One of the beliefs I discuss is: “Relationships are Hard Work”    And some of you have been in relationships that took more effort than your full-time job.    Some of you have had beliefs that in order for your relationship to work you will have to sacrifice so much, and totally deplete yourself.    But hold up.   THERE IS A DIFFERENT WAY   In this episode, I break down this belief and I tell you:  -Where it comes from -Why it happens  -Aaaaand exactly what to do when it is happening to you  (so you don’t keep sabotaging your healthy relationships!)    MAKE SURE YOU GO GIVE IT A LISTEN and if you want to stop experiencing patterns like these-go apply to my 8 week ESL relationship course.    It is time to stop wasting your time in situationships like the above. Go apply now - link is in my Instagram bio @drmorgancoaching or on my website at drmorgancoaching.com/workwithme
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Jul 28, 2020 • 22min

EP 45: Attachment Theory Applied: The Shift from Anxious to Avoidant & Vice Versa

Has this trainwreck ever happened to you?!   You play it super cool in the beginning of the relationship (you know catch flights, not feelings am I right)    THEN gradually the person “wears down” your walls and   You.Let.Them.In.   And this absolutely terrifies you, but you did it anyways, because well they earned your trust and deep down you really don’t want to die alone    But hold up.   It seems like the SECOND they know you like them- they do a total 180   All of a sudden you are PURSUING THEM   And you go, what in the actual hell   How dare you take entrance into the heart for granted.   That’s extremely VIP access boo, and now here you are pulling away from ME?! The nerve!    Well if you can relate to the above-THEN YOU NEED THIS PODCAST EPISODE    In this episode I break down the Anxious to Avoidant Pendulum Swing; I tell you:  -What it is -Why it happens  -Aaaaand exactly what to do when it is happening to you  (so you don’t go through this maddening push-pull anymore)    MAKE SURE YOU GO GIVE IT A LISTEN and if you want to stop experiencing patterns like these-go apply to my 8 week ESL relationship course.    It is time to stop wasting your time in situationships like the above. Click here to apply now! Link is also in my Instagram bio– @drmorgancoaching 
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Jul 22, 2020 • 13min

EP 44: Your New Favorite Coping Skill: Reality Testing

“I’m bad at relationships...there must be something wrong with me”    LIES. You’re not bad at relationships; you’re holding onto old ways of coping   And you CAN become “good at love” -(yes even you girl-I hear you doubting yourself)    One of the most important tools I give to my client’s for rewiring their brains is:    REALITY TESTING   I mentioned it in one of my last posts, and a bunch of you Dm’d me “What the heck is reality testing, Dr. Morgan?!”    (Sometimes I forget I live in a psychology bubble and not everyone knows these terms whoooops...LOL)    ANYWAYS- I made this podcast episode for you and it’s everything you need to do Reality Testing like a pro!   In this value-packed episode you will get:  -An easy to understand definition of Reality Testing  -Strategies to implement it in your life TODAY -WHY you absolutely need this coping skill    Seriously this is one of the most VALUABLE episodes I’ve ever done.    Don’t miss it!    P.S. IF you’re ready for ALL of the tools to get to EMPOWERED, SECURE, AND LOVED–you may have heard I’ve opened a few pre-launch spots in my 8-Week program–go apply and schedule your totally free breakthrough session using the link in my IG @drmorgancoaching bio   P.P.S. The first 10 women who join get access to some amazing bonuses...that will likely never be offered again. eeekk! Don’t miss out, and don’t stay on the dating roller coaster any longer...aren’t you a getting a lil nauseous?!
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Jul 15, 2020 • 10min

EP 43: How to Navigate the Early Stages of Dating: Attachment Theory Informed Relationship Pacing

One of the MOST IMPORTANT topics for the early stages of dating…   RELATIONSHIP PACING    Do you know what I am talking about?   A lot of you are in the deep end of the pool, while your partner is hanging out in the 3ft section–dipping a toe in...    Uh-Oh; been there done that, got that t-shirt and I’m telling you: it.doesn’t.end.well   In this episode: I explain relationship pacing using an Attachment Theory lens   This episode is a MUST LISTEN for anyone on the dating scene who is serious about having a healthy relationship   I openly discuss:  Understanding “Investment” and why some of you are way too quick to commit  The Keys to Relationship Pacing The importance of “Balance” and what it means when it comes to Pacing   LGV listeners–I would LOVE to know your takeaways from this episode–so make sure you tag me in your IG stories with what you learned!    P.S. Send me a DM if you would like to be invited to the exclusive LIVE training I will be doing on “ Successfully Having the Define the Relationship Talk” aka not peeing your pants during the “what are we conversation” LOL. You don’t want to miss this!
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Jul 14, 2020 • 9min

EP 42: Understanding Attachment Theory: How to Put Secure Attachment into Practice

You Need to Have an “Open Palm”   Listen to this short value-packed episode and you will learn what the heck I am talking about when I say “open palm”   This little metaphor might just be the most powerful dating advice you’ve ever received...   In this episode you will find: -The perfect metaphor for understanding the securely attached approach to a relationship  -Learn if you are “squeezing the bird” -How to operate with TRUST and PATIENCE in dating   Make sure you DM me with your takeaways from this episode-I would LOVE to hear from you!   Dating, Self-worth, Communication...if we want GREAT RELATIONSHIPS- we must commit to GROWTH. And that’s why I love this community-you all are committed to growing!    So many of you who reach out to me are committed to taking ownership and improving your dating lives-it’s inspiring!    If you are someone who is ready to level up in love by stopping toxic dating patterns, building awareness of what you’re doing wrong and why, and learning all you need to attract a totally different kind of partner-then shoot me a DM on IG.    The E.S.L Relationship Program will be re-opening soon BUT before I open it officially, I want to make sure that you–my loyal followers–get first dibs on a spot. There are limited spots available, so if you know you are interested, DM me on IG to reserve a totally free breakthrough call to learn more about the program.    P.S. There may even be special bonuses for those of you who act now–the early bird gets the worm right?! (omg continuing with the bird metaphors-YAS!)
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Jul 6, 2020 • 48min

EP 41: Discussing Personal Growth, Conscious Uncoupling and Honoring your truth with special Guest Kristine Kolzing

“Conscious Uncoupling”   Have you ever heard of it?   Break-ups, Divorce, Separations….   In our culture, the knee-jerk reaction is “oooo that’s messy and painful…I wonder who did what to who?”    What if there was a different way?   For anyone who has ever gone through the end of a relationship-this podcast episode is for you.   @KristineKolzing, my dear friend and colleague sheds light on her experience of conscious uncoupling in today’s podcast episode   We talk:  The Power of Attachment Theory  Her journey through honoring her gut  Why there’s never a “right time” to end a relationship    Kristine is a transformational mindset expert and master success coach who guides women entrepreneurs to step into their most powerful selves and attract more money so that they can thrive in business and in life!    Aaaaaand if you’re not following her-go do so right now! @kristinekolzing   @KristineKolzing and I would love to know your takeaways from this episode-so make sure you tag us both in your IG stories!

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