In today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz invites his good friend and colleague, Ben Gibson, for a deep and insightful conversation about a different kind of confidence: spiritual confidence, or divine confidence. While we often discuss self-confidence and overcoming personal doubts, this episode dives into something deeper—trusting in life, the universe, or something bigger than ourselves. Together, Dr. Aziz and Ben explore what it means to have faith in the unknown, to trust that there’s a solution to every problem, even when the path is unclear. Whether you come from a religious background, consider yourself spiritual, or identify as an atheist, this episode is for you. It’s about embracing faith and trust, not in a prescribed way, but in a way that feels accessible to everyone. Join them as they share personal stories, practical insights, and real experiences to help you cultivate faith in yourself, others, and life itself. If you’re looking for a way to build both self-confidence and a deeper spiritual connection, this episode offers powerful tools to guide you. Tune in, reflect, and start cultivating your divine confidence today!   --------------------------   Unlocking Spiritual Confidence: Trusting in Life Beyond Self Are you struggling with social anxiety, people-pleasing, or a crippling fear of rejection? Perhaps you’re longing to live more authentically, to speak up boldly, and to not be paralyzed by what others might think. If so, you're not alone—and there’s a powerful shift you can make today that goes beyond simply “working on your confidence.” In a recent episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz Gazipura dives deep into a dimension of confidence that is often overlooked but is crucial for true inner freedom: spiritual confidence. Joined by his colleague Ben Gibson, Dr. Aziz explores how trusting in something bigger than yourself—whether you call it life, the universe, or the divine—can elevate your confidence to new heights. The Limitations of Self-Confidence Self-confidence is important. It’s about believing in your ability to handle whatever life throws at you, to step into the unknown, and to take courageous actions. But, as Dr. Aziz points out, self-confidence alone has its limits. No matter how much you build yourself up, there will always be moments where life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or even terrifying. This is where spiritual confidence comes into play. “There’s always something in the unknown that can make it seem threatening or scary until we develop this other side of things—spiritual confidence.” What Is Spiritual Confidence? Spiritual confidence is the trust in something beyond yourself. It's the faith that, even when things don’t go according to plan or when life throws unexpected challenges your way, there is a larger process at work. This isn’t about subscribing to a particular religion; it’s about finding a deep, personal connection to something bigger. Ben Gibson shares how, in his journey, this trust has become a crucial part of navigating life’s trials. “Faith is the belief in something that I don’t see. It’s not just a hope; it’s a deep inner knowing.” The Role of Faith in Handling Life’s Challenges Faith doesn’t mean you’ll be shielded from all pain or that life will always be smooth. In fact, it’s often through life’s most challenging moments that our faith—and by extension, our spiritual confidence—is forged. Ben and Dr. Aziz discuss how pain, loss, and uncertainty are not just obstacles to be avoided, but essential experiences that help us grow and ultimately, trust more deeply. Embrace the Process, Not Just the Outcome One of the key takeaways from this conversation is the importance of embracing the process. Just like an apple tree must go through the phases of blossoming, growing, and ripening, we too must trust the journey of our own growth—even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain. “There’s something beyond the thing that might have been great and even functional up until this point. When it falls away, it just means there’s a bigger process happening.” Action Step: Examine Your Perspective As you go about your day, pause and ask yourself: How am I perceiving myself, life, and whatever you might consider divine? Just observing your current lens can be the first step toward shifting it. This simple awareness can open up a pathway to greater spiritual confidence, helping you to face life’s challenges with a deeper sense of peace and trust. Remember, every moment of your life is a new one, and with the right perspective, you can move forward with confidence—not just in yourself, but in the life that unfolds before you.

In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz takes you on a deep dive into how to transform your identity to unlock greater confidence. He reveals that confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it's a skill you can develop. By understanding and reshaping your identity, you can break free from old patterns and create a new, empowered version of yourself. Dr. Aziz will guide you through what it really means to earn a new identity and why it's crucial for lasting change. You’ll learn how to push past the discomfort of growth and practice the actions that align with the confident, bold person you want to be. This episode is packed with practical insights and a clear action step to help you start building your new identity today. If you’ve ever felt stuck in who you think you are, this episode will show you how to break free. Tune in and take the first step toward earning a new, more confident version of yourself!   ------------------   What Is Your Identity, and Why Does It Matter? Your identity is how you see yourself—what you believe about yourself, consciously and unconsciously. It’s the mental structure that determines your actions, decisions, and ultimately, your experiences in life. It includes things like, “Am I smart? Am I attractive? Am I capable?” These beliefs shape how you interact with the world and what you think is possible for you. But here’s the good news: Your identity is not fixed. It’s not set in stone. You can change it. And by changing it, you can steer your life in a new direction. If you feel stuck in a “fixed identity,” it’s time to break free and create an identity that aligns with the confident, bold, and authentic person you want to be. "Your identity isn’t fixed—it’s flexible, and you have the power to shape it into something that serves you, not holds you back." The Power of Earning a New Identity Changing your identity isn’t just about thinking differently or repeating affirmations. It’s about earning that new identity through action. You don’t become more confident by wishing for it; you become more confident by doing the things that challenge you, that push you beyond your comfort zone. For example, if your current identity says, “I’m shy” or “I’m not good at talking to people,” you’ll need to start practicing interactions that defy those beliefs. Gradual exposure—taking small, manageable steps toward social confidence—is how you earn that new identity. Whether it’s saying hello to strangers, engaging more in conversations at work, or pushing yourself to be more assertive, every action you take builds your confidence muscle. Key Point: You Must Earn Your New Identity You create a new identity by consistently doing things that your old identity says you can’t. This isn’t about overnight transformation; it’s about building the muscle of confidence over time. From Fixed to Flexible: The Journey of Growth The biggest mistake people make is believing that who they are now is who they have to be forever. They think their identity is fixed and unchangeable. But that’s not true. Just like learning a new skill—whether it’s playing an instrument or getting better at a sport—you can learn to be more confident. It’s all about practice and persistence. You’ve likely learned new things before, even if it was something as simple as mastering a game on your phone. So why not apply that same mindset to your social skills and confidence? The discomfort you feel when learning something new is natural. The key is to push through that discomfort and keep going. "Your identity is as flexible as you allow it to be. Every time you challenge your old beliefs, you’re creating space for a new, more confident you to emerge." Action Step: Design Your New Identity Now, let’s put this into action. I want you to take a moment to think about who you want to be 12 months from now. What does that new, confident version of you look like? What have you accomplished? How do you feel about yourself? Write it all down. This is your new identity. Then, work backward. What actions will help you become that person? Maybe it’s starting conversations more often, taking risks in social settings, or practicing assertiveness. Whatever it is, commit to those actions and start earning your new identity today. "Your new identity is within reach. Take consistent action, face your fears, and watch yourself transform into the confident, bold person you were always meant to be." For more tools and guidance on building your confidence, check out my programs at DrAziz.com. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you’re awesome.

In today's episode, Dr. Aziz delves into a topic that many of us struggle with: feelings of inferiority. Have you ever felt less than others, whether in terms of intelligence, appearance, confidence, or any other area? These feelings are more than just thoughts; they come with a heavy emotional weight that can make you feel unworthy, unlovable, and disconnected. Dr. Aziz explores the roots of these feelings and, more importantly, provides actionable strategies to overcome them. Through a deep dive into the sources of these beliefs, you'll learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and start embracing your unique strengths. He offers practical advice on how to shift your mindset and build your self-esteem, helping you break free from the paralyzing grip of inferiority and step into your life with confidence. Tune in to discover how you can start believing in your own worth today. And if you find this episode valuable, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, helping others discover the show and support their journey to confidence.   ------------------------------------------------ How to Overcome Feelings of Inferiority and Reclaim Your Confidence Have you ever felt less than others? Maybe it’s not something you say out loud, but deep down, there’s a sense of inadequacy, shame, or unworthiness that just won’t go away. These feelings of inferiority can be incredibly painful, leaving you feeling stuck, isolated, and unsure of yourself. But what if I told you that overcoming these feelings is not only possible but within your reach? In this blog post, we’ll explore where these feelings come from, how they persist, and most importantly, what you can do to break free and start feeling more confident today. Understanding the Roots of Inferiority You might have spent years trying to understand why you feel inferior. Maybe you’ve done therapy, reflecting on your childhood experiences—whether it was a critical parent, bullying, or feeling like an outcast. These insights can be valuable, but they often leave you with a lingering question: Now what? You have a narrative, but knowing where these feelings come from doesn’t always make them go away. Stand-Out Quote "It's not about where your feelings of inferiority come from; it's about what you're doing to yourself right now that keeps them alive." The Internal Critic and Comparison At the heart of inferiority is a critical voice that compares you to others or an idealized version of yourself. This comparison might be about intelligence, confidence, appearance, or wealth. The list is endless, but the impact is the same: it triggers feelings of shame, unworthiness, and unlovability. But here’s the thing—this comparison isn’t something happening to you; it’s something you’re doing to yourself. Key Point: Identify Your Triggers Take a moment to identify the top three areas where you feel most inferior. Is it your intelligence? Your appearance? Your social skills? Understanding what triggers these feelings is the first step toward dismantling them. Breaking the Cycle: Stop Believing the Lies One of the most powerful steps you can take is to challenge the beliefs that fuel your inferiority. Why do you believe that you need to be smarter, more confident, or more attractive to be loved and accepted? Who told you that? Often, these beliefs are inherited from others—parents, peers, society—but they no longer serve you.  "Your feelings of inferiority are not truths; they're protective shields keeping you from stepping fully into your life." The Path to Freedom: Taking Bold Action To truly overcome feelings of inferiority, you must act in defiance of the stories that hold you back. Make a list of the things you would do if you knew you were awesome—if you were confident, attractive, intelligent, and worthy. This list is your roadmap to freedom. Action Step: Create Your List Ask yourself: If I knew I was awesome, what would I do? Write down five to ten things. These might be goals you’ve been avoiding, risks you haven’t taken, or opportunities you’ve let pass by. Start small if you need to, but start taking steps toward those goals. Embrace Your Awesomeness Remember, the feelings of inferiority you’re struggling with are not permanent. They are learned behaviors that can be unlearned through action, awareness, and self-compassion. As you begin to take steps toward the life you want, you’ll find that those feelings lose their power over you. You are capable, worthy, and deserving of everything you desire. "You have the power to rewrite your story. Take the first step today, and watch how your life transforms." For more tools and guidance on building confidence and overcoming social anxiety, check out my programs at The Confidence University. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you're awesome.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz explores the concept of "social fitness" and how it can empower you to achieve greater social freedom and confidence. Just like physical fitness, social fitness is about building and strengthening your ability to connect with others and navigate social situations comfortably. Discover how social fitness can transform your life by changing your perspective on social anxiety and offering practical ways to develop your social skills. Dr. Aziz introduces you to a structured approach to improving your social fitness and shares techniques that will help you gradually increase your social confidence. Whether you struggle with social anxiety or simply want to enhance your ability to interact with others, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable steps to help you become socially fit and free. Ready to start your journey toward social freedom? Tune in now and take the first step toward building your social confidence. If you find this episode helpful, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your feedback helps others discover the show and supports our mission to help more people break free from social anxiety.   ---------------------------------------------   Imagine being able to walk into any room and feel comfortable in your own skin. How would that change your life? In today's world, social anxiety can feel like an insurmountable barrier, but the key to overcoming it might be simpler than you think. Enter "Social Fitness"—a revolutionary concept that can set you free. In this post, we'll explore what social fitness is, why it matters, and how you can use it to transform your confidence and social interactions. What is Social Fitness? Social fitness is a concept that mirrors physical fitness but focuses on building your social confidence and abilities. Just as physical fitness involves regular exercise to improve strength and endurance, social fitness involves practicing social interactions to enhance your comfort and confidence in social settings. Developed by Dr. Lynn Henderson at Stanford University, this concept is a game-changer for anyone struggling with social anxiety. "Social fitness changes everything because it shows there's nothing wrong with you—you're just not in shape." How Social Fitness Works Building Capacity The essence of social fitness is about gradually building your social capacity. Just like physical exercises strengthen muscles over time, social exercises enhance your ability to interact confidently with others. It's about consistent practice and facing social situations that might initially feel uncomfortable. "You can get in better social fitness shape by exercising over time with consistency." Applying Social Fitness in Your Life Start Where You Are Just as with physical fitness, it's crucial to start your social fitness journey where you are. Assess your current social interactions and identify areas where you feel most anxious or uncomfortable. This could be speaking up in meetings, initiating conversations, or attending social gatherings. Create a Plan To make progress, you need a plan. List the social activities that challenge you and rate them on a scale from 0 to 10, where 10 is extremely uncomfortable. Start with activities that fall around 3 or 4 on your scale and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations. For example, if you're anxious about speaking in meetings, set a goal to contribute at least once per meeting. Commit to Consistency The key to success is consistency. Aim to engage in social exercises at least three times a week. This could mean attending a networking event, having a conversation with a colleague, or speaking up in a group discussion. The more you practice, the more your social confidence will grow. Taking Action: Your Social Fitness Plan Create a social fitness plan that includes: Identifying Social Challenges: List situations that make you anxious. Setting Realistic Goals: Choose three manageable social exercises to practice each week. Tracking Progress: Keep a journal to track your experiences and growth. "Lift some threes and fours, and start doing things that make you uncomfortable." An Invitation to Grow The journey to social confidence is personal and unique. If you're ready to take your social fitness to the next level, consider exploring resources like my program, Confidence University, which offers structured courses to guide you step-by-step. You can also join my 12-month Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind for personalized coaching and support from like-minded individuals on the same journey. "Don't let social anxiety hold you back. With practice and persistence, you can unlock the confident, authentic version of yourself." For more information, visit DrAziz.com and discover tools and programs designed to help you build social fitness and confidence. Remember, you have the power to change your social landscape—one interaction at a time.

In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz tackles the perplexing question: Why is it so challenging to be ourselves? While it might seem like being yourself should be the easiest and most natural thing in the world, many of us find it incredibly difficult. Dr. Aziz explores the reasons behind this struggle and provides insights into the invisible pressures and internal conflicts that keep us from being our true selves. Join Dr. Aziz as he helps you recognize these challenges and offers actionable steps to overcome them. Learn how to embrace authenticity and unapologetically be who you are, without succumbing to the pressure of societal expectations or internal criticism. Through this episode, you'll gain clarity on how to honor your true feelings, desires, and boundaries, leading to a more liberated and confident life. Ready to start your journey towards authentic living? Tune in now and take the first step towards being unapologetically you! If you find this episode helpful, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your feedback helps others discover the show and supports our mission to help more people break free from social anxiety.   ------------------------- Why Is Being Yourself So Difficult? Discover the Hidden Challenges and How to Overcome Them Does being yourself feel like an impossible task? You might think that being yourself should be the easiest thing in the world, but it can be incredibly challenging. Many people struggle with this because of social anxiety, people-pleasing tendencies, and fear of disapproval. In this post, we’ll explore why being yourself is so difficult and offer powerful tools to help you embrace your true self. The Hidden Challenges of Being Yourself Internal and External Pressures One of the main reasons it's hard to be yourself is the constant pressure to conform to others' expectations. This pressure can come from various sources, including family, culture, religion, and social norms. These influences shape our behavior, often leading us to suppress our true feelings and desires. Stand-Out Quote "Being yourself is safe. I'm allowed to be myself." The Inner Critic Another significant obstacle is the inner critic, that voice inside your head that constantly judges and criticizes you. This inner critic can be so harsh and relentless that it creates a negative self-image, making it difficult to express your true self. You might find yourself thinking, "I should be more patient, more forgiving, more generous," based on societal expectations rather than your true feelings. Conflicting Parts We are all a collection of different parts and motives. For instance, you might have a part of you that wants to be bold and courageous and another part that wants to avoid discomfort. These conflicting parts can create confusion and make it difficult to know which part of yourself to express. How to Overcome These Challenges Embrace All Parts of Yourself Start by acknowledging all parts of yourself, even those that you might consider negative or undesirable. It's essential to listen to these parts without judgment. For example, if you're feeling irritated or anxious, instead of pushing those feelings away, ask yourself why you feel that way and what those feelings are trying to tell you. Practice Self-Compassion Being kind to yourself is crucial in overcoming the fear of being yourself. When you catch your inner critic in action, pause and respond with compassion. Remind yourself that it's okay to have imperfections and that you don't need to meet everyone's expectations. Set Aside Time for Self-Reflection Spend a few minutes each day checking in with yourself. Ask yourself questions like, "How do I feel?" "What do I want?" and "What's important to me?" This practice helps you become more aware of your true feelings and desires, making it easier to act in alignment with them. Stand-Out Quote "Your every voice has a seat at the table. Every voice is allowed." An Invitation to Change If you find it challenging to be yourself, know that it's an invitation to change and grow. Being yourself is not about acting out every impulse but about listening to all parts of yourself and making choices that align with your true values and desires. Start by taking small steps towards self-acceptance and authenticity. "This is not who you are. This is not how it has to be. Change is absolutely possible, and I want to support you in that in any way I can." For more resources on overcoming social anxiety and embracing your true self, visit DrAziz.com. There, you can find free courses, books, and information on coaching programs designed to help you become the most authentic version of yourself. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz dives into the heavy but crucial topic of self-esteem and how to stop the cycle of self-hatred that many people with social anxiety and niceness struggle with. Discover why self-criticism can be so destructive and learn practical steps to break free from this damaging pattern. Dr. Aziz will guide you through understanding the different parts of yourself, the role of the inner critic, and why we often buy into these harsh messages. More importantly, you'll learn how to make the decision of a lifetime—to be on your own side and step fully into your life. Tune in to uncover powerful insights and practical actions that can transform your relationship with yourself and boost your confidence. If you’ve been enjoying the show, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your feedback helps others find the show and supports our mission of mass liberation from social anxiety. Ready to stop hating yourself and start living with confidence? Let’s get started!   ------------------- Break Free from Self-Hate: Three Keys to Self-Esteem Do you ever feel like you're your own worst enemy? That inner critic that's constantly whispering negative things in your ear? You're not alone. Many people struggle with an inner voice that’s not just critical, but downright abusive. It's time to break free from this cycle of self-hate and embrace a healthier, more empowering mindset. In today’s post, we’ll explore three transformative keys to overcoming self-hate and building genuine self-esteem. Recognize the Inner Critic We all have different parts of ourselves. There's the part that wants to get up early and be productive, and then there's the part that just wants to stay in bed. Similarly, there’s a part of you that wants to be bold and confident, and another part that wants to hide and avoid difficult situations. The problem arises when a hypercritical part takes over and dominates your inner dialogue. Stand-Out Quote "We are often harsher to ourselves than we would ever be to a friend. This inner critic isn’t helping you—it’s hurting you." Understand the Impact of Self-Hate Imagine being in a romantic relationship where your partner constantly belittles you, calls you names, and makes you feel worthless. This is exactly what happens when we let our inner critic run wild. It's verbal abuse, and it’s coming from within. This kind of self-talk is not just unkind; it’s damaging. When I was working with a client recently, she asked if positive self-talk was the solution to her low self-esteem. While it's part of the solution, the bigger issue is the constant self-criticism that drains our self-esteem. It’s like trying to fill a bucket with holes in it—you need to patch the holes first. Challenge the Inner Critic The next step is to challenge this critical voice. Ask yourself why you are choosing to believe these negative thoughts. Often, this critical part is trying to protect you from perceived dangers, like rejection or failure. But in reality, it’s keeping you small and preventing you from living a full life. Key Content Points Awareness and Choice: Become aware of your self-critical thoughts and recognize that you have a choice. You don’t have to believe everything you think. Challenge the Critic: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them. Recognize that they are trying to protect you, but they are not serving you. Step into Life Fully: Defy the critic by taking the actions it tries to prevent. Put yourself out there, take risks, and be willing to face discomfort. This is where true growth happens. Stand-Out Quote "The only way to truly transform this inner critic is to do the things it's trying to protect you from. Step into your life fully and embrace the discomfort." An Inspiring Message of Hope You have the power to change this inner dialogue. It starts with awareness, continues with challenging those negative thoughts, and grows as you step into your life fully. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many people struggle with self-hate and self-criticism, but it’s possible to break free. You can build a life where you are confident, bold, and authentic. Final Encouragement "You are worthy of love and respect, starting with yourself. Embrace who you are and take the steps to challenge that inner critic. The journey to self-esteem and confidence is one of the most rewarding paths you can take." For more tools and resources on building self-esteem and confidence, check out my book On My Own Side. It’s available on Amazon and Audible, and it’s packed with actionable insights to help you overcome self-criticism and embrace your true self. Thank you for being with me today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome. For more information, visit socialconfidencecenter.com for free blogs, e-books, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz dives into the three unconscious tactics that nice people often use, which end up perpetuating their anxieties and interpersonal problems. Discover how an apologetic tone, over-explaining, and pre-compromising can hinder your ability to communicate effectively and maintain healthy relationships. Learn how these behaviors stem from an obsessive need to control others' feelings and how you can start to change these patterns. With self-awareness and conscious choice, you can begin to communicate more directly and authentically, leading to deeper connections and greater self-confidence. Tune in to uncover how to stop these nice person tactics and start living more freely and boldly. If you’ve been enjoying the show, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your feedback helps others find the show and supports our mission of mass liberation from social anxiety. Ready to transform your interactions? Let's get started!   ----------------- The Hidden Dangers of Being Too Nice Is it possible that being too nice can actually harm you and negatively impact those around you? While it might sound counterintuitive, especially since being nice often feels like the right thing to do, excessive niceness can cause significant problems in your life. Let’s explore how this happens and what you can do to shift this pattern. When people think of being nice, they associate it with positive traits like kindness, compassion, and consideration. However, niceness often stems from fear—fear of upsetting others, fear of rejection, and fear of conflict. This fear-driven niceness leads to several significant issues: Difficulty Saying No Being overly nice often means you have a hard time saying no. You accommodate everyone’s needs and requests, leaving yourself overcommitted and burnt out. When you constantly say yes to others, you neglect your own needs, leading to stress and resentment. Over time, this can damage your relationships as you may feel unappreciated and taken for granted. Suppressed Emotions Nice people tend to suppress their true feelings to avoid conflict. You might avoid expressing when something bothers you, which leads to bottled-up emotions. This suppression can cause chronic stress, physical ailments like headaches, stomach problems, and even a weakened immune system. Research shows that emotional suppression can increase your risk of all-cause mortality by 4x over 12 years. Living in Fear Constantly worrying about others' opinions creates a fearful existence. This fear of disapproval or conflict can lead to chronic anxiety, making everyday interactions stressful. This background anxiety drains your energy and affects your overall well-being. Negative Role Modeling If you have children or are in a position of influence, your excessive niceness can model unhealthy behaviors. Children learn from observing adults, and if they see you constantly putting others' needs above your own and avoiding conflict, they may adopt these same behaviors. This can lead to them struggling with self-advocacy and personal boundaries in their own lives. Embrace Authenticity Over Niceness The solution isn’t to become a jerk but to embrace authenticity. Being authentic means expressing your true feelings and needs honestly and respectfully. Here’s how you can start: Set Boundaries Learn to say no when necessary. Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining your mental and physical health. It’s not selfish; it’s essential for self-care. Express Your Feelings Practice sharing your thoughts and feelings, even when they might cause discomfort. This honesty builds trust and deeper connections with others. Challenge Fear-Based Thinking Work on recognizing when fear is driving your actions. Remind yourself that you can handle others' reactions and that their approval isn’t necessary for your self-worth. Be a Positive Role Model Show others, especially younger people, that it’s okay to prioritize self-care and to speak up for themselves. This modeling helps them develop healthier relationship dynamics. Take Action Today If you want to delve deeper into breaking the pattern of excessive niceness, check out my book Not Nice. It provides practical steps to help you embrace your authentic self. For more actionable advice, my book Less Nice More You offers a direct approach to making these changes. For those seeking significant, life-changing transformations, consider joining my 12-month mastermind program, The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. This program is designed to radically boost your confidence and assertiveness in every area of your life. Learn more at draziz.com. Final Thoughts Being too nice can be detrimental to your well-being and the well-being of those around you. Embrace your authenticity, set healthy boundaries, and express your true self. By doing so, you’ll not only improve your own life but also set a positive example for others. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

Are you a control freak? You might be surprised to find that social anxiety often comes with an obsessive need for control. In this episode, Dr. Aziz dives deep into how social anxiety is tied to a constant effort to control how others perceive you. This control can be exhausting and counterproductive, but understanding it is the first step towards liberation. Join Dr. Aziz as he explores the roots of this behavior and provides practical steps to help you let go of the obsessive control, allowing you to feel more relaxed and confident in social situations. By the end of this episode, you'll gain new insights and tools to start living more freely and authentically. Ready to transform your social anxiety? Tune in now!

In today's episode, titled "Social Anxiety Equals Obsessive Control," we dive into a surprising aspect of social anxiety: the obsessive need for control. Have you ever thought of yourself as a control freak? Probably not if you’re shy or socially anxious. But what if social anxiety is a different type of controlling behavior? What if the constant worry about how others perceive you, the fear of saying the wrong thing, or the hesitation to approach new people is actually an attempt to control others' thoughts and feelings about you? In this episode, we’ll explore how this obsessive need for control manifests in social anxiety and why it’s so exhausting and counterproductive. We’ll also discuss the deeper fears driving this need for control and how to begin letting go, allowing yourself to feel more relaxed and confident in social interactions. Join me as we uncover the root causes of this obsessive control, and learn practical steps to release it, freeing yourself from the chains of social anxiety. By the end of this episode, you'll have new insights and tools to start living more freely and boldly. Ready to transform your social anxiety? Let’s get started!       -------------------------- Are You a Control Freak? How Obsessive Control Fuels Social Anxiety Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you if you're sick and tired of being held back by fear, self-doubt, social anxiety, or anything that stops you from being your authentic self. I'm Dr. Aziz, and today we're diving into a topic that might surprise you: control. Are you a control freak? Unmasking the Quiet Control Freak When you think of a control freak, you might picture someone loud, bossy, and domineering. But what if control manifests differently in those of us with social anxiety? What if it's a quiet, obsessive need for control that fuels our anxiety? Imagine this scenario: You're in a social interaction, feeling tight and restricted. You're worried about what to say, how others perceive you, and whether you're doing it all wrong. This isn't just fear—it's an obsessive need to control the outcome. You want to control how others see you, how they feel about you, and ensure you don't make any mistakes. The Exhausting Reality of Social Anxiety Consider how exhausting it is to try to control every social interaction. If you're speaking in front of a group, you might feel the need to manage the thoughts and feelings of every person in the room. This obsessive thinking leads to withdrawal, avoidance, and increased anxiety. "We obsessively try to control everything because we're terrified of feeling unworthy or unlovable." The need for control stems from a deeper fear of rejection and a desperate need for approval. We fear that if someone doesn't like us, we'll feel unworthy and unlovable. This fear drives the obsessive thinking and behavior that characterizes social anxiety. Breaking Free: Embrace Uncertainty The key to overcoming this obsessive need for control is to embrace uncertainty and the possibility of rejection. It's about realizing that you can't control everything and that's okay. This shift requires both internal work—feeling and processing your emotions—and external action—exposing yourself to situations that challenge your fears. "The real danger is the feelings we are terrified to face. But feeling those emotions is the path to freedom." Action Steps to Let Go of Control Acknowledge Your Patterns: Recognize when you're trying to control others' perceptions of you. Notice the obsessive thoughts and behaviors that arise in social situations. Feel Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel the emotions you're avoiding. This might include fear, shame, or unworthiness. Practice staying with these feelings instead of running from them. Take Bold Action: Challenge yourself to step into situations that scare you. This could be speaking up in a meeting, starting a conversation, or sharing your opinion. Observe what happens without trying to control the outcome. By practicing these steps, you can begin to dismantle the cage of social anxiety and live more freely and authentically. A Message of Hope Breaking free from social anxiety is a journey that starts with recognizing the need for control and challenging it. You have the power to change your story and embrace uncertainty. Remember, you don't have to do this alone. There are resources and support available to help you on your path to liberation. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know, on a deep level, that you are awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. For free blogs, e-books, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, visit socialconfidencecenter.com.  

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy, where we tackle the fears, self-doubt, social anxiety, and shyness that hold you back from being your true self. In today’s episode, "Healing Toxic Shame," we’re diving deep into a topic that’s often hidden away but profoundly impacts us all. Do you ever feel an intense sense of badness, as if you’re not worthy of love or connection? That’s shame, and for some, it’s a constant, toxic presence. Today, we’ll explore what toxic shame is, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to heal from it. I’ll share powerful insights and practical steps to help you start transforming this toxic narrative into one of self-compassion and empowerment. This episode will guide you in recognizing the internalized messages of shame and how to replace them with messages of love and acceptance. By the end, you’ll have actionable steps to begin your journey toward healing and self-worth. So, join me and discover how to liberate yourself from the grips of toxic shame, step into your true power, and become the most free, bold, and authentic version of yourself. Let’s get started!     ------------------------- Breaking Free from Toxic Shame: Reclaim Your Self-Worth Have you ever felt paralyzed by a deep sense of shame that seems to pervade every aspect of your life? It’s a feeling many professionals struggle with, impacting their relationships, careers, and overall well-being. In today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into the pervasive issue of toxic shame, offering profound insights and actionable steps to help you break free from its grip. Understanding Toxic Shame "Toxic shame is the feeling of badness that permeates your existence," Dr. Aziz explains. Unlike situational shame, which arises from specific events, toxic shame is a constant sense of being flawed or unworthy. This feeling often stems from early childhood experiences where negative messages from parents or caregivers were internalized. "It's like poison to a young nervous system," says Dr. Aziz, highlighting the profound impact of these early interactions. The Cycle of Self-Perpetuated Shame Many people continue to carry these negative perceptions into adulthood, often without realizing it. "You are shaming you," Dr. Aziz emphasizes. This internalized voice of disapproval can make you feel perpetually inadequate. However, the good news is that this cycle can be broken. "Toxic shame is not permanent," reassures Dr. Aziz. Recognizing that you are the one perpetuating these feelings is the first step toward liberation. Steps to Overcome Toxic Shame **1. Acknowledge the Source: Understanding that your feelings of shame are not an inherent part of you, but rather learned behaviors, is crucial. "These messages were not about you; they were about the people who projected them," says Dr. Aziz. **2. Challenge the Internalized Voice: Begin by questioning the truth of these negative perceptions. Dr. Aziz advises, "Why are you continuing to hold that perspective? Why are you advocating for your own awfulness?" Shifting your internal dialogue from one of criticism to one of compassion can be transformative. **3. Consciously Reframe Your Self-Perception: Imagine how you would talk to someone you love, especially a child. "What are the top three messages you would want to convey to them?" Dr. Aziz asks. Use these positive affirmations to start reshaping how you talk to yourself. Embracing a New Reality The journey to overcoming toxic shame involves consciously choosing to see yourself differently. "It's like learning a new language," Dr. Aziz explains. It might feel foreign at first, but with practice, it becomes second nature. The key is to step into your life without the armoring of shame, allowing yourself to connect deeply with others and live more fully. A Message of Hope Breaking free from toxic shame is not just possible; it’s within your reach. By taking deliberate steps to challenge and change your internal narrative, you can reclaim your sense of worth and live a life filled with confidence and authenticity. If you're ready to dive deeper and transform your life, explore Dr. Aziz's resources at DrAziz.com. From free mini-courses to comprehensive programs, there are tools available to support you on your journey. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. For free blogs, e-books, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.