Shrink For The Shy Guy

In this eye-opening episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz introduces what might be the most underrated yet transformational key to building confidence and reducing social anxiety: expanding your capacity. It might not sound glamorous, but this principle is the real “magic juice” for lasting confidence. Dr. Aziz explains that every person has an emotional and psychological threshold for discomfort—whether it’s rejection, conflict, criticism, or awkwardness—and those with social anxiety often have a lower capacity in these areas. The breakthrough? Confidence grows not by avoiding discomfort, but by intentionally leaning into it. By reframing your experiences as opportunities to expand your capacity rather than threats to avoid, you open the door to extraordinary growth. Whether it’s speaking up at work, handling rejection in dating, or saying what you really think in a group—these are not scary “failures” to avoid but moments to train your emotional muscles. Dr. Aziz shares stories from real client breakthroughs, including one man who concluded after a single awkward phone call that he should “never talk to a woman on the phone again.” Through humor and insight, Dr. Aziz reveals how easily we draw limiting conclusions and how much power we reclaim when we choose to stay in the discomfort zone just long enough to grow. 🚀 Ready to build true inner strength and shatter the limits of what you think you can handle? Tune in now and discover how to expand your capacity—and your confidence—with every step you take outside your comfort zone.--------------------------------     Do you feel anxious or uncomfortable when you’re asked to speak in front of a group, or when someone rejects you or doesn’t respond to your message? Do you find yourself holding back in social situations, worried about disapproval or judgment? If so, you’re not alone. Social anxiety and people-pleasing are patterns many people experience, but there is a powerful way out. And it’s simpler than you think: expand your capacity. The Truth About Your Capacity When I say expand your capacity, it may not sound like an exciting breakthrough at first. But trust me, it's the key to overcoming your social anxiety and living the confident, authentic life you’ve always wanted. Here’s what I mean: we all have a certain threshold for what we can handle. This can apply to physical tasks (like lifting weights) or emotional experiences (like handling rejection or failure). Stand-out Quote: "The more you expand your capacity to handle difficult situations, the less power they have over you." The problem for many people struggling with social anxiety is that their capacity for handling discomfort—like conflict, rejection, or disapproval—is very low. This leads to avoidance, which only perpetuates the cycle of anxiety. But the good news is, you can expand your capacity. It’s not set in stone, and it’s not determined by your DNA. It’s a skill you can develop. Why We Avoid Discomfort Here’s the catch: when we feel discomfort—whether it’s someone disagreeing with us or receiving rejection—we naturally want to avoid it. We’re wired to seek safety, and discomfort feels like a threat. But the more you avoid these feelings, the more they control you. The way out is to gradually expose yourself to these discomforts in manageable doses, which allows you to build emotional resilience. Stand-out Quote: "The key to overcoming social anxiety is not avoiding discomfort, but learning to face it with confidence." For example, let’s say you’re scared of conflict. You avoid confrontation, even if it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. This avoidance keeps you trapped. But when you start practicing handling conflict—starting small, like speaking up in a meeting or expressing your true feelings to a friend—you expand your capacity to tolerate discomfort. Over time, the fear that once felt paralyzing will lose its power. How to Expand Your Capacity: The Steps Start Small: Identify the areas of your life where your capacity is stretched—whether it’s speaking up for yourself, handling rejection, or dealing with conflict—and start small. Practice speaking your truth, even in low-stakes situations, like with a friend or coworker. Embrace Discomfort: Instead of running from the discomfort of being judged or disliked, lean into it. Let yourself feel uncomfortable without panicking. When you experience disapproval, remind yourself that it’s temporary. It’s just part of life, not a reflection of your worth. Challenge Your Beliefs: Often, we avoid things because we think we can’t handle them. But the truth is, you can. The more you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort. This builds your confidence in your ability to handle anything life throws at you. The Power of Gradual Exposure I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this strategy is for my clients. Take, for example, a client who once couldn’t talk to women without feeling overwhelmed with fear. After gradually building his confidence—starting with small conversations, then escalating to asking for phone numbers—he went from avoiding social situations to thriving in them. And you can do the same in your life. Stand-out Quote: "Expanding your capacity is the most effective way to break free from the shackles of social anxiety and people-pleasing." Action Step: What Will You Do to Expand Your Capacity? So, here’s your action step: Find something that stretches your capacity today. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, asking for what you need in a relationship, or handling rejection with grace, start expanding your limits. And remember, as you expand your capacity, the discomfort becomes manageable. With time, your confidence will grow, and you’ll feel more comfortable being your authentic self. The key to confidence isn’t avoiding discomfort—it’s embracing it. Final Thought: You’re not stuck in your current state. You can grow, change, and expand your capacity for handling life's challenges. Start small, be consistent, and soon you’ll notice a massive shift in your confidence and overall well-being. Take Action Now: What’s one thing you’re going to do today to expand your capacity? Share it in the comments below, and let’s support each other on this journey.

In this refreshing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into a deceptively simple question with massive implications: “Are you apologizing too much?” Most people don’t even realize how often they say “sorry”—not just in words, but in their tone, posture, and energy. If you constantly feel responsible for other people’s reactions, discomfort, or expectations—even when you didn’t do anything wrong—you’re likely trapped in a loop of unconscious over-apologizing. And that loop isn’t just exhausting—it’s eroding your confidence and subtly reshaping your relationships. Dr. Aziz breaks down how unnecessary apologies stem from overactive guilt systems and people-pleasing conditioning, often developed in childhood. You’ll discover how to recognize the difference between healthy, empathy-based apologies and guilt-driven ones that actually weaken connection. Plus, you’ll learn a simple internal filter: before apologizing, pause and ask yourself, “Did I actually do something wrong?” Then, try this bonus lens—what would I tell a friend to do in this situation? 🚀 Ready to recalibrate your guilt and stop saying sorry for simply existing? Tune into this episode now and begin reclaiming your power, one conscious choice at a time.----------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you find yourself apologizing all the time, even when you haven't done anything wrong? Or maybe you don’t even realize you’re saying "sorry" until it’s out of your mouth. It's a common habit, especially for those of us who struggle with people-pleasing and self-criticism. But here's the question: When is it necessary to apologize, and when should you hold back? Apologies: A Natural Part of Relationships Let’s start by acknowledging that apologizing is an important part of healthy relationships. We all make mistakes. Whether it's a sharp tone, being late, or forgetting a commitment, it's natural to feel the need to apologize when our actions have hurt someone. This helps repair the rupture, rebuild trust, and show the other person that we care about their feelings. But where's the line between necessary apologies and over-apologizing? When Apologies Become a Habit For many, apologizing becomes an unconscious habit. You might say “sorry” when someone is upset, even if you haven’t actually done anything wrong. This can happen in situations like: Not meeting someone’s expectations when you never agreed to meet them in the first place. Being blamed for something that wasn’t your fault. Feeling guilty whenever someone else feels upset, as if it’s automatically your fault. This automatic response can lead to a feeling of powerlessness, as if you’re constantly trying to manage others' emotions, even when it’s not your responsibility. The Impact of Over-Apologizing Over-apologizing has a few significant consequences: Lack of Boundaries: If you're constantly apologizing, you may start to overextend yourself, saying yes to things you don't want to do or compromising your own values to avoid conflict. Unconscious Resentment: Deep down, you may start to feel resentment because you're not being true to yourself. Over-apologizing can be draining and lead to emotional burnout. Loss of Self-Respect: By constantly taking responsibility for things you didn’t do, you diminish your own sense of self-worth. You may start to believe that you’re always at fault, which erodes your confidence over time. The Power of Holding Your Ground So how can we shift out of this habit? It starts with getting clear on your boundaries and understanding that you don't always need to apologize. You don’t have to cater to every person’s expectation of you. If someone is upset because you didn’t text them back immediately, for example, it doesn’t automatically mean you have done something wrong. Try this: Instead of apologizing, acknowledge the other person's feelings. You can say, "I see that you're upset," or "I understand that this might be disappointing for you." This shows empathy without taking on unnecessary guilt. Real-Life Example: The Guilt Mechanism A client of mine was working on a contract with a friend who was also a contractor. When she noticed discrepancies in the agreement, she felt guilty for asking for changes—though it was entirely reasonable. She felt compelled to apologize, as if her request was an inconvenience. But when we looked at it from a different perspective, she realized there was no reason to apologize. She wasn’t doing anything wrong by ensuring the contract reflected what they had discussed. By switching her mindset, she was able to assert herself clearly: “I’d like to address these issues before signing.” No apology necessary. And the result? The contractor updated the contract with no issue. Recalibrating Your Guilt Mechanism When you feel the urge to apologize, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: "Did I actually do something wrong?" Often, you’ll find that the guilt you’re feeling is misplaced. By becoming more aware of this impulse, you can recalibrate your own guilt mechanism. Action Step: The next time you feel the urge to apologize, pause. Ask yourself if it’s necessary. If you didn’t do anything wrong, simply acknowledge the situation without taking responsibility for it. This will help you regain your power and set healthier boundaries. Final Thoughts: The Key to Confidence Over-apologizing is a sign that you're living by others' expectations instead of your own values. It’s time to stop apologizing for simply being yourself and start owning your space in the world. When you do this, you’ll feel more empowered, respected, and confident—in your relationships, your career, and your life. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect. You’re allowed to make mistakes, and you’re allowed to stand firm in who you are without always saying “sorry.” It’s time to reclaim your confidence and live more authentically. You've got this. No more unnecessary apologies.

🌟 In this powerful episode of "Shrink for the Shy Guy," Dr. Aziz reveals one of the most effective—yet underused—tools for radically boosting confidence: massive action. Unlike cautious baby steps, massive action invites you to shift into a new gear, override hesitation, and start living instead of waiting. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or everyday interactions, the avoidance cycle keeps you stuck. But when you break that pattern and flood your nervous system with bold, repeated action, transformation happens fast. Through vivid stories, including a client who skyrocketed her confidence by shifting from one public talk a month to several a week, you’ll learn that confidence isn’t built by hoping or waiting—it’s built by doing. Dr. Aziz walks you through why this works, what resistance might show up, and how to overcome it. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to take the leap. 🚀 Ready to finally stop avoiding and start becoming the confident, bold version of you? Tune in to this episode now and discover how to unlock the key you've already been holding. Your freedom starts here.---------------------------------------------- Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a cage of social anxiety, self-doubt, or people-pleasing? It’s an all-too-common experience. But what if I told you that the key to breaking free and radically transforming your confidence is already in your hands? In this post, we’re diving into one of the most powerful tools you can use to break free from these limitations—and why many people aren’t using it. The Secret to Confidence: Massive Action When it comes to building confidence, the tool I’m about to share might sound simple, but it’s one of the most effective principles I’ve come across in my 20+ years of personal growth and helping others. It’s based on both real-life experience and research, and it’s been proven to work. So, what’s the tool? Massive action. Sounds pretty intense, right? But here’s the thing: the key to getting out of your comfort zone and into a place of true self-assurance is by moving towards what scares you with intensity and urgency. The more we avoid the things that scare us, the stronger our anxiety and self-doubt become. The more we step into those fears, the more our confidence grows. Why We Avoid: The Cycle of Self-Doubt We all know the feeling of wanting to avoid situations that make us anxious—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, confronting someone in a relationship, or going after a big career opportunity. When we avoid, the anxiety increases, and we lose a little bit of our sense of power. This creates a negative cycle that only deepens the fear and self-doubt. We’re trapped. The other side of the equation is approach: moving towards the things that scare us. When we push through the fear and face it, we start to see that our negative predictions about the situation—“It’s going to go horribly”—are often not true. And with each small victory, we start building a new identity for ourselves: I can do this. I am capable. Why Massive Action Is the Answer Here’s where massive action comes in. You see, sometimes gradual steps just aren’t enough to create the breakthrough you need. If you’ve been tiptoeing around your fears for months, you might need to flip the script entirely. Massive action—doing things in larger, bolder doses—is what creates momentum. For example, let’s say you’re trying to overcome public speaking anxiety. Instead of signing up for one Toastmasters event every few weeks, what if you committed to speaking in front of an audience three times a week? I know, it sounds crazy, but the intensity of this action creates a level of momentum that gradual exposure just can’t match. You’ll short-circuit your fear and push yourself to the edge of what you thought was possible. The Energy Shift: Going from Defense to Offense When you move towards your fears with massive action, you shift from defense mode—where you’re guarding yourself against discomfort and uncertainty—to offense mode, where you’re actively creating the life you want. This energetic shift is what fuels confidence, and it’s what makes you attractive to others. It’s not about pretending you’re perfect or that you’ve got it all together. It’s about owning your value, showing up fully, and knowing that you’ve got what it takes to handle whatever comes your way. The Results of Massive Action Imagine the person who walks into a room with self-assurance—not because they’re the most polished or the most put-together, but because they’ve faced their fears, taken bold action, and no longer let the “I’m not enough” feeling control their life. Here’s the thing: The key to building confidence is taking action even when you don’t feel ready. That’s when the magic happens. You begin to see that the world doesn’t revolve around your fear of being “not enough”—it revolves around the action you’re willing to take, regardless of how you feel. Your Action Step: Choose Massive Action So, what’s next? It’s time to decide how you’re going to move forward. You have two options: Prepare for massive action: Take a few more small steps, build your momentum, and get ready to make a bigger leap. Take massive action now: If you feel ready, dive in headfirst and face your fears with urgency and intensity. The choice is yours, but know this: If you want to create the life you deserve, massive action is required. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up and taking bold steps toward your future. Final Thoughts: You Are Enough The biggest lie that holds people back is that they’re not enough. But the truth is, you are enough right now. What’s holding you back is the fear and the stories you’ve been telling yourself. Let’s break those stories and start taking massive action to create the life you’ve always wanted. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. You have the tools, the support, and the power to shift your life. It’s time to claim it.

Own Your Confidence: Be Unapologetically You!A glimpse from the latest episode of Get Your Sh*t Together Show with the special guest Dr. Aziz hosted by Amy Joy.Watch the full episode here.

Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz — and today we’re going straight into one of the most common, painful, and persistent feelings that quietly runs so many lives: 👉 “I’m not enough.” This episode is for you if you’ve ever: Felt like no matter how much you do, it’s never quite enough Believed you had to prove your worth through achievement or perfection Avoided risks, opportunities, or putting yourself out there because of self-doubt Collapsed into hopelessness or excuses just to protect yourself from trying 🎯 Dr. Aziz breaks down: Why this feeling of “not enough” is a universal part of being human Why trying to fix it through more doing never works (just ask Tony Robbins!) How to stop confusing this feeling with reality The truth about your self-worth that no accomplishment (or failure) can touch A simple mindset shift to help you show up fully — even when that insecure voice gets loud If you're ready to stop being controlled by this invisible wall of “not enough,” tune in now and take back your freedom.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough"? It's a common thought that can keep us stuck, whether we're pursuing relationships, career opportunities, or even personal growth. This persistent feeling of inadequacy can impact your confidence and stop you from taking bold actions. In this post, I'll share how to recognize this feeling, understand it, and break free from its grip, allowing you to create a life where you feel truly empowered and worthy. Understanding the "Not Enough" Feeling First things first: you are not alone. The feeling of “not enough” is a deeply human experience, and almost everyone grapples with it at some point in their lives. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal achievements, the fear of not being “enough” leads to a variety of behaviors and mindsets. So, what makes this feeling so powerful? It's rooted in the fear of loss—loss of love, connection, respect, or even survival. If I’m not enough, then I’ll lose something important, like love or worthiness. The key here is recognizing that this fear is not reality. It’s simply an emotional response to uncertainty, and once we understand that, we can begin to take control. Why "Proving Enough" Doesn't Work Most of us try to fix the “not enough” feeling by doing more. We hustle, work harder, or try to accumulate external symbols of success—titles, possessions, or achievements. The goal? To prove that we are worthy. But here’s the catch: doing more doesn’t make you enough. It’s an endless cycle. You can’t hustle your way to self-worth because the feeling of not being enough is never truly satisfied by external validation. Even once you achieve one goal, the sense of inadequacy may still linger. Real confidence doesn’t come from what you do; it comes from who you are. A Powerful Shift: Own Your Value What if you could break the cycle? The real secret to overcoming the “not enough” feeling is to own your value—not based on what you’ve done, but simply because you exist. Here’s the truth: Confidence comes from within. It’s about showing up with a mindset of abundance. When you believe that you are worthy, you stop feeling like you need to prove yourself to others. You begin to approach life with a healthy mindset, knowing that you are enough as you are. “Your energy is what makes you attractive—not your appearance, not your possessions, but the way you show up in the world.” — Dr. Aziz When you stop operating from a place of scarcity (like "I’m not good enough"), you become magnetic. You attract people, opportunities, and experiences because your energy exudes self-assurance and worth. The Power of Feeling Insecure (And Letting It Pass) One of the most powerful lessons you can learn is to feel your feelings instead of trying to avoid or suppress them. The feeling of “not enough” is simply a temporary emotional experience—it doesn’t define you. When you can create space for that feeling without needing to fix it, you break free from its control. Imagine a scenario where you feel insecure. Instead of getting caught in a loop of negative self-talk or trying to do more to prove yourself, allow yourself to feel the insecurity. Name it: “This is the feeling of insecurity.” Let it pass through you without clinging to it. Over time, this practice will reduce its power over you and make you more resilient. “The more you embrace feelings of insecurity, the more you free yourself from their control.” — Dr. Aziz Final Thoughts: You Are Enough The next time you feel like you’re not enough, remember: it’s just a feeling, not a reflection of your worth. By practicing self-awareness and embracing your emotions, you can overcome this limiting belief and step into your true confidence. Take a moment today to remind yourself: You are enough.

Dive into the fear of being disliked and how it shapes our actions and relationships. Discover the importance of embracing authenticity over simply pleasing others. The discussion challenges listeners to reflect on their people-pleasing tendencies and consider the value of genuine self-expression. Learn how navigating conflicts can lead to stronger, more authentic connections and emotional resilience.

Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz! If you’ve ever felt stuck, procrastinated, or told yourself “I should…” but still didn’t follow through — this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals the three powerful secrets to breaking out of avoidance and finally taking the action you know will move your life forward. Whether it’s social confidence, career growth, health habits, or daily routines — it all comes back to one key truth: Confidence is a byproduct of action. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why resistance, groaning, and procrastination are totally normal (and how to break through them) The surprising way your identity story might be keeping you stuck How to use pain as powerful leverage (yes, really!) The missing piece that makes it way easier to follow through Why pleasure in the future is the key to taking action today Dr. Aziz also shares his personal story of emotional pain, transformation, and how one pivotal night in his 20s changed everything. If you're ready to overcome avoidance and create a life that energizes and fulfills you, this episode will give you both the mindset and momentum to start now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Do you often find yourself stuck in the cycle of procrastination, avoiding tasks that you know could improve your life? Whether it's taking social risks, having difficult conversations, or simply getting things done, we all face moments when it feels impossible to take action. In this post, I’m going to reveal the three secrets to breaking free from inaction and boosting your confidence. Secret #1: Recognize the Pattern The first step in overcoming procrastination and avoidance is to recognize the cycle you’re in. It often starts with the feeling of fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of discomfort. You know you should act, but instead, you avoid the task. You tell yourself “I should,” but you don’t follow through. This internal tension leads to resistance, and eventually, you may find yourself stuck in a negative identity—thinking of yourself as someone who just can’t follow through or is too scared to act. The first secret is to notice this pattern. Acknowledge that you’re caught in it and make the decision to do something different. The more you notice it, the more you can break free from it and start acting from a place of empowerment, not fear. "Confidence is a byproduct of action. You won’t feel confident until you take action." — Dr. Aziz Secret #2: Use Pain as Leverage Pain is one of the most powerful motivators for action. In fact, research shows that we are twice as motivated by pain as we are by pleasure. The key is to leverage pain in a constructive way. Ask yourself: What is the cost of inaction? If you keep avoiding something, where will it take you? In the case of social anxiety, it might be loneliness or missed career opportunities. By focusing on the pain of staying stuck, you can create a sense of urgency and motivate yourself to act. However, it's essential to not get lost in despair when reflecting on this pain. Instead, take ownership of the situation and realize that you can change things. When the pain of staying where you are exceeds the fear of the unknown, you’ll finally take the leap. Secret #3: Focus on the Pleasure of Action While pain can push you to act, pleasure is what will keep you going. We often resist action because we focus on the discomfort of getting started, but if you shift your focus to the benefits of taking action, you’ll find yourself motivated. For example, if you’re avoiding a workout because it feels hard to start, remind yourself of how good you’ll feel afterward—the energy, the sense of accomplishment, the pride in doing something for yourself. By training your mind to see the pleasure on the other side, you’ll feel more compelled to take action. "Are you willing to be uncomfortable now to experience the extraordinary in your life?" — Dr. Aziz Taking Action: Your Next Step Now that you know the three secrets to taking action, it’s time to put them into practice. Start by recognizing the patterns that hold you back, use pain and pleasure to motivate yourself, and take action even when it feels uncomfortable. If you want to make real progress in your life, the key is consistent action. The more you act, the more confidence you’ll build. It’s time to break free from the cycle of procrastination and start living boldly. Remember, confidence comes from doing—not waiting for the perfect moment or feeling ready. Take action today, and watch your confidence grow! You are capable of so much more than you realize. Keep going, and you'll soon be amazed at how far you can go.

In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the hidden cycle that fuels your worry and anxiety—especially when it comes to social situations, work, dating, money, health, and more. If you’ve ever wondered why anxiety keeps coming back despite trying tools like affirmations, meditation, or even medication, this episode is for you. You’ll discover: The 5-part anxiety loop that drives your fear and fuels the need to control everything Why the real issue isn’t the fear itself, but how you relate to it How to spot where you are in the cycle so you can break free in real time The power of self-awareness and softening, instead of resistance and control One simple but powerful action step to find relief—starting today Dr. Aziz reveals how recognizing this cycle (Fear → Urge to Do → Prevent the Bad → Avoid Pain → More Fear) can unlock lasting freedom and peace. Tune in now and take the first step toward living with more presence, ease, and inner confidence. 🎧 Ready to finally stop fighting anxiety and start living? Press play now.------------------------------------------   Have you ever found yourself caught in an endless loop of worry and anxiety? Maybe you're overthinking conversations, feeling uneasy about upcoming events, or imagining worst-case scenarios. This constant cycle of fear and worry can feel overwhelming, but there’s a way out. In today’s post, we’re diving deep into how anxiety works and, more importantly, how you can start breaking free from it. Let’s explore how to stop worrying, be more present, and create lasting peace of mind. The Anxiety Cycle: Fear, Action, and Pain It all starts with fear—the feeling we all know too well. When we feel anxious, whether it’s about a social situation, work stress, or personal struggles, we experience fear. It’s that tightness in your chest, the flutter in your stomach, or the constant, buzzing thoughts in your head. The immediate reaction to this fear is often the urge to do something—anything to make it stop. We might try to control the situation, over-prepare, or replay conversations in our minds, trying to plan every possible outcome. This urgency to act comes from the desire to avoid pain. Whether it’s the emotional pain of rejection, embarrassment, or failure, we act to prevent those outcomes. But the irony is, the more we try to control and avoid pain, the more we trap ourselves in this cycle. "Fear leads to the urge to do something, which is often about preventing bad outcomes. But what are we really protecting ourselves from? Pain." What Happens Next? Once we’ve acted or worried about acting, we eventually arrive at the one thing we’ve been trying to avoid—pain. It could be the pain of failure, rejection, or even just the discomfort of uncertainty. And here’s the twist: we’re so afraid of pain that we spend most of our energy trying to protect ourselves from it. But what if we stopped trying to avoid pain altogether? What if, instead of controlling, we embraced impermanence and allowed ourselves to experience life’s inevitable ups and downs? As Buddhist teachings remind us, everything in life changes, including pain. The pain we fear is often temporary, and yet, we treat it like a permanent threat. "The fear of pain keeps us stuck in a cycle of worry and control. But what if we embraced the fact that pain, like everything else, is temporary?" Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Observation So how do we break this cycle? It starts with observation. The first step is noticing where you are in the cycle of anxiety. Are you stuck in fear, urgently trying to do something? Are you trying to protect yourself from pain or a bad outcome? By becoming aware of these patterns, you can begin to step out of the cycle. Next, try to soften the need for control. Recognize that, while some things in life are out of your hands, this doesn’t mean you’re powerless. You don’t need to control every outcome to feel okay. You can still act, but from a place of inspiration, not fear. Start practicing this mindset shift by simply observing your thoughts and reactions when anxiety arises. "By observing the cycle of fear, action, and pain, we can break free from the need to control and start embracing life's natural flow." The Action Step: Embrace the Impermanence of Pain As your action step today, when you notice anxiety or worry creeping in, pause and ask yourself: “What am I trying to control? Am I trying to prevent pain or avoid something that might not even happen?” Recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and some of the pain we fear is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean we can’t navigate it with peace and resilience. Instead of reacting out of fear, act from a place of acceptance and curiosity. It’s okay to feel discomfort or uncertainty. By embracing this, you’ll free yourself from the constant cycle of worry and begin to live more fully in the present.

This discussion tackles the burden of societal expectations that lead to feelings of inadequacy. Dr. Aziz reveals the 'fundamental error' of waiting for external validation to find happiness. A transformative method is shared to help break free from negative self-talk and foster real confidence. Listeners learn to embrace self-compassion and accept their emotional complexities without judgment. Ultimately, the conversation emphasizes that true peace comes from within, regardless of life's circumstances.

Do you ever feel like you're behind in life? Like you're not where you should be? In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the unconscious programming that fuels this feeling and how to break free from it. You'll learn: Why we constantly feel like we’re falling short How societal and personal conditioning shape our expectations The key to shifting your mindset so you can feel good right now—without waiting for external success This episode is all about reclaiming control over your life, challenging the "drummer in the back of the bus," and finding joy before you reach the next milestone.   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------       Have you ever felt like you're not where you should be in life? Like there's a destination you're supposed to reach, but no matter how hard you try, it feels out of your grasp? You’re not alone. Many of us have faced these feelings of inadequacy, discouragement, or frustration when we feel that we haven't achieved everything we thought we would by a certain age or stage in life. In this episode, we’ll explore why that happens and how to break free from these limiting beliefs to get to where you want to be—both in life and in your inner world. The Unconscious Forces at Play We often think we’re in control of our lives. After all, we make decisions, set goals, and take action. But have you ever caught yourself doing something you didn’t plan to do? Maybe eating something late at night you didn’t even want, or acting out of frustration when you didn’t mean to? If you’ve experienced this, you’ve been influenced by unconscious forces that are driving your behavior without you even realizing it. Carl Jung famously said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This means that the patterns, beliefs, and conditioning we’ve developed throughout our lives are often controlling us, guiding us in ways that might not be aligned with our true desires. The Drummer in the Back of the Bus Think of your life as a bus, and you are the driver. But here’s the catch: you're not driving alone. There's a whole group of characters in the back of the bus, influencing your decisions. These characters are your unconscious programming—the messages you've absorbed from society, family, and past experiences. Some of these voices might tell you that you're not good enough, not successful enough, or that you’re falling behind in life. Imagine one of the voices on the bus is the "drummer"—the voice that constantly beats the rhythm of what's wrong, what's missing, and what you should have done by now. It’s the voice that says, "You should have achieved more by now" or "You need to be in a relationship to be happy." The problem is, these unconscious voices drive us to make decisions based on fear and inadequacy. We feel the pressure to be perfect and chase after what society says we should want, but often, these desires are culturally conditioned and not entirely our own. Shifting from Fear to Freedom How do you break free from the constant chatter of this internal drummer? The first step is awareness. You need to listen to the voices that tell you you’re not where you should be, and ask them questions. What do you want me to do? Why do I need to achieve this specific thing to feel okay? By bringing attention to these voices, you start to question whether they are truly yours, or if they're just a product of your upbringing or societal expectations. Once you understand these voices are not the truth of who you are, you can begin to quiet them. And here's the key: true freedom comes when you recognize that you don’t need to achieve or have everything in place to be happy. The pressure to be perfect, to meet certain external standards, is what keeps you stuck in a cycle of self-criticism and frustration. Your Action Step This week, take some time to listen to the drummer in the back of your bus. Pay attention to the voice that tells you you're not enough. Write down what it says. Then, question it. Challenge its validity. Is it really true? Can you still be happy without meeting those external standards? The more you do this, the more you’ll create space for your true self to emerge. You don’t need to meet every external expectation to feel worthy. True growth comes from aligning with your authentic desires, not from chasing what others expect of you. In the next episode, we’ll explore how to liberate yourself from this inner conflict and step into a life filled with joy and authenticity. Stay tuned for more!