How To Feel Confidence And Peace No Matter What

Mar 18, 2025

This discussion tackles the burden of societal expectations that lead to feelings of inadequacy. Dr. Aziz reveals the 'fundamental error' of waiting for external validation to find happiness. A transformative method is shared to help break free from negative self-talk and foster real confidence. Listeners learn to embrace self-compassion and accept their emotional complexities without judgment. Ultimately, the conversation emphasizes that true peace comes from within, regardless of life's circumstances.

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INSIGHT

The Fundamental Error

The "fundamental error" is believing you need different life circumstances to feel okay.
This leads to shame and either shutdown or frantic desperation, neither producing desired results.

ADVICE

Fill the Void

Fill the void by focusing on the internal pain, not external circumstances.
Approach this pain with curiosity and compassion, not avoidance.

ADVICE

Self-Compassion

Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your pain and offering yourself support.
This is essential for building self-esteem and being on your own side.

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In today’s episode, we continue the powerful conversation on overcoming the illusion that you’re "not where you should be" in life.

Dr. Aziz shares the fundamental error that keeps you stuck in feelings of inadequacy and pressure—and reveals a new way to free yourself from that cycle.

You'll discover:

-Why your circumstances don’t have to define your happiness
-The key shift that allows you to feel fulfilled now instead of waiting for external success
-A powerful action step to release the pressure and step into self-compassion

This episode is about reclaiming your confidence, finding peace in the present, and fueling sustainable success from a place of self-acceptance.

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Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, endlessly comparing yourself to others, convinced you’re not where you should be in life? If so, you're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Aziz shares some life-changing insights that will help you stop feeling inadequate and reclaim your peace of mind.

The Illusion of "Where You Should Be"

Many of us are burdened by a feeling that we’re not living up to some societal standard. You might think: “I should be in a relationship by now,” or “I should have more money, a better job, a better house.” These thoughts weigh heavily on your self-esteem, leading you to feel less than, inadequate, and even ashamed. Dr. Aziz calls this the “fundamental error”: thinking that in order to feel okay, something in your life circumstances must change.

“The solution is not in the circumstances. It's not out there. It's inside you.”
This erroneous belief that something outside of us needs to change before we can feel peace is a major source of unnecessary suffering. When you feel like you're not enough as you are, you either shut down or try desperately to change everything all at once—and it still doesn't bring the fulfillment you seek.

The Real Problem: Self-Gaslighting

You might not even realize it, but when you feel like you're not where you should be in life, you're often gaslighting yourself. Dr. Aziz describes this as a cycle of comparing yourself to others and convincing yourself that you’re not enough. Your inner “safety police” tells you to stay small to avoid risk—fear of failure, rejection, or criticism keeps you paralyzed.

“I need something to be different right now in order to feel okay. But what if you don’t?”
This thought trap is designed to keep you from taking risks and living authentically. The truth is, nothing will change in a lasting way until you shift your inner dialogue and stop waiting for circumstances to be perfect before you feel okay.

The Answer: Self-Compassion and Present Awareness

How can you break free from this cycle? The solution lies in self-compassion. It’s essential to start being kind to yourself and slow down. Take a moment to tune into the feelings of frustration, inadequacy, or longing—and be curious about them rather than trying to eliminate them.

“Move towards the pain with curiosity and compassion. That’s the key to healing.”
When you can sit with your discomfort without judgment, you begin to fill the inner void that you’ve been desperately trying to fill with external circumstances. It’s about becoming your own best friend, your own inner champion.

The Action Step: Challenge the Stories

Here’s your action step for today: Start noticing the stories you tell yourself about what you need in order to feel okay. Ask yourself, “Is it true that I need this specific thing in my life to feel happy?” What if, just for today, you let go of the need for perfection and simply embraced where you are?

By practicing this, you will slowly dismantle the false belief that you need something external to feel worthy or fulfilled. And when you do this consistently, you'll start to feel empowered to take action from a place of self-acceptance, rather than desperation.

Final Thoughts: Freedom Awaits

You don’t have to wait for the perfect life circumstances to feel at peace. When you practice self-compassion and shift your mindset, you open the door to greater confidence and the ability to create the life you desire.

You are already worthy. Start taking small steps today, and before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to living the life you deserve. Remember: You’re awesome just as you are.