Shrink For The Shy Guy

Want to speak up more confidently in meetings—whether it's a one-on-one with your boss or in front of a whole group? If you've ever stayed quiet even when you had something valuable to share, this episode is for you. We’re diving into what holds you back, how to shift the way you see yourself, and powerful tools to start showing up with boldness at work. Plus, I’ll share a special invitation to my only virtual event this year. 🎧 Hit play and let’s help you become more visible, confident, and influential in every conversation.------------------- If you struggle with speaking up in meetings, you’re not alone. Many people I work with are highly skilled, intelligent, and capable—they do great work—but when it comes to the social side of work, they retreat. They recede into the background, becoming the wallflower of the meeting. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a one-on-one with a supervisor, a small team of two or three colleagues, or a large group of ten or twenty—this pattern shows up everywhere. For many, especially those who have a history of people-pleasing, the anxiety is subtle at first. They freeze, hesitate, or simply stay quiet. Virtual meetings can make it even easier to hide—camera off, muted, and invisible. I’ve had clients tell me that, since working with me, they started turning their cameras on during meetings, and they noticed a profound shift in how present and engaged they felt. Before, avoidance ruled their behavior. Now, with awareness and practice, they’re stepping forward. Avoidance may seem harmless, but it comes at a cost. Professionally, it can limit your growth. I can’t tell you how many people have shared with me that they were passed over for promotions—not because their work was lacking, but because they didn’t speak up. Others who spoke more, shared ideas freely, and took visible action often got ahead, even when their ideas weren’t better. This isn’t fair, but it’s reality. Social visibility matters. It also impacts your confidence and self-esteem. When you retreat, you reinforce the belief that your voice isn’t valuable. You diminish your own engagement and sense of power at work. But here’s the truth: showing up, speaking, and sharing your ideas builds confidence. It strengthens your presence. It reminds you that you have something valuable to contribute. So how do you shift this? Start by recognizing the root of your anxiety. Most often, it comes from a fear of judgment. You imagine that if you speak, someone will think you’re incompetent, awkward, or weak. That fear drives invisibility, pushing you toward the wallflower role. And that association—visibility equals danger—is deeply ingrained for many people. If you’ve ever been embarrassed, criticized, or dismissed, your mind naturally links attention with pain. But this association is wrong. Being the center of attention is not automatically dangerous or bad. You’ve been projecting your fears onto others, assuming judgment, when in reality, people are rarely as focused on you as you think. Understanding this projection is the first step in breaking the freeze. Your fear isn’t about them—it’s about the story your mind is telling. Once you recognize the story, you can start practicing presence. Begin small: contribute one idea in a meeting, answer a question, or share a brief thought. Gradually increase your participation until speaking up feels natural. Remember, visibility is a skill. Like any skill, it strengthens with practice. The more you engage, the less frightening it becomes, and the more confidence you build. Conversations—whether one-on-one, in small teams, or in large meetings—are opportunities to practice this skill. They are not threats. Each time you step forward, you prove to yourself that you can be heard, that your ideas have value, and that visibility does not equal harm. This principle applies beyond work too. Public speaking, social gatherings, even family discussions all benefit from the same practice. Every brave step you take in one arena reinforces your courage in others. If you want a focused, immersive way to accelerate this skill, consider my upcoming virtual event, Supremely Confident Conversation Mastery. Over three days, we’ll dive deep into conversation mastery, work on speaking confidently in any setting, and even explore storytelling to help you own the room. It’s a live, interactive experience—nothing compares to throwing yourself in and practicing in real time. If you’re ready to transform your confidence and your career, this is the opportunity. Remember, confidence isn’t about never feeling fear. It’s about acting despite it. Speaking up is a muscle—every time you use it, it grows stronger. The more you show up, the more natural it becomes. The wallflower in meetings can step into the room with presence, authority, and impact. And that is the work, the practice, and the gift of building real confidence.

If you ever feel anxious when interacting with others—whether you're sharing your thoughts, speaking up, or simply being seen—you're likely running a powerful, hidden pattern. In this episode, we’ll uncover what that pattern is, how it silently runs the show, and how to break free from it. Dr. Aziz shares a transformative insight about the story we tell ourselves—“they don’t like me”—and how this subtle but constant belief fuels anxiety, guilt, and people-pleasing. You’ll learn how to spot when this belief is activated, why it’s totally made up, and what to do to shift into a more confident, grounded state. Get ready to break free from the fear of being disliked, stop bracing for rejection, and start showing up with more authenticity and peace. Listen now and learn how to stop assuming you're being judged—and start being yourself.--------------------------------------   The pattern we’re talking about is imagining. It’s that inner feeling and the mental story that comes with it, usually subconscious, that creates anxiety in social, professional, or creative situations. You might not consciously think, “They’re going to hate me,” but your body, your nervous system, and your emotions respond as if it’s real. You feel discomfort, tension, and even dread because you’re imagining people being upset, disappointed, or disgusted with you. This pattern is incredibly common and is the root of chronic guilt, social anxiety, and discomfort around putting yourself out there. The critical thing to understand is that this anxiety is self-generated. Those images of people rejecting you, being disappointed, or hating you are largely hallucinations created by your own mind. Recognizing that you are generating this story is the first step toward liberation. Once you see it, you can start breaking the hold it has over you. There’s a part of you that Dr. Aziz calls the “safety police.” This part hates uncertainty and discomfort, so it predicts the worst-case scenario for everyone at all times. It’s trying to protect you from pain, like the rare instance of someone disliking you, by keeping you socially guarded all the time. The problem is that it overprotects. It creates the illusion that everyone might be judging or hating you, which makes life feel heavy, limiting, and anxious. You cannot control other people’s opinions, but you can cultivate internal certainty. You can know who you are, recognize your value, and be confident that you’ll be okay regardless of how others react. This is the form of certainty that frees you to take social risks without chronic anxiety. When you anchor in internal certainty, you stop needing to predict or control the reactions of everyone around you. Awareness is the key to freedom. You must catch this pattern in the moment. Notice when your mind is spinning the story that everyone dislikes you. Audit your life to see where this is happening—whether it’s emails, calls, meetings, or social interactions—and consciously step into action despite the discomfort. Ask yourself, “If I were fearless, what would I do?” Make a list of the actions that anxiety currently prevents you from taking. Then, start small. Send that email, make that call, speak up in the meeting. Remind yourself: “I bring value. I am okay either way.” This internal certainty shifts your nervous system and your experience entirely. As Dr. Aziz says, “You are making it up. Your nervous system is responding to a hallucination.” When you change this pattern, you create a whole different experience socially and in your inner confidence. The mindset you want to practice is simple but powerful: “I’ll be okay either way.” Step into action, notice the story your mind is telling, and anchor yourself in your value and resilience. That is where true confidence begins.

Explore the hidden lie of "I can't because I'm scared" and how it stifles personal growth. Discover the surprising power of the word "because" in shaping behavior, even with illogical reasons. Uncover the disconnect between fear and action, learning that discomfort, not fear, often holds us back. Gain valuable insights on how to reclaim your confidence with small, consistent steps toward boldness in your relationships and career. It's time to challenge your limits and embrace your potential!

Today’s episode is all about you—what you want and need in your life and in your relationships. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, a coworker, or a family member, you are constantly navigating wants, needs, and boundaries. But how do you even know what you want—let alone ask for it without guilt, fear, or discomfort? That’s exactly what we’re going to explore together. If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, over-accommodating, or avoiding conflict, this episode will be deeply liberating. Dr. Aziz shares personal stories—from relationship challenges to parenting decisions—to reveal how easy it is to lose ourselves in the name of being “nice.” He breaks down the roots of this pattern and teaches you how to reconnect with your desires, give yourself permission to express them, and advocate for what truly matters to you. You’ll also learn the MVP question that changes everything: What do I want? When you start asking this regularly, your confidence, clarity, and sense of freedom will grow. This episode is your invitation to step out of niceness and into a more powerful, authentic version of you.---------------------------------------------------------------------------   Have you ever found yourself bending over backwards in relationships, doing everything for others, and yet feeling like you're not getting what you need? Whether it's with a romantic partner, a friend, or even at work, the challenge of asking for what you want is something we all face. But here's the truth: without skillfully advocating for yourself, you’ll continue to miss out on the connection, respect, and fulfillment you deserve. In this blog post, we’re going to dive into how to understand what you truly want in relationships, why it’s often so hard to ask for it, and how to start changing that dynamic today. What Do You Really Want? In every relationship, there are things you want and things you need. This could be in a romantic relationship, with your family, or in your work life. We all have desires—things we want to feel seen, heard, and valued. But often, due to fear of being “too demanding” or not wanting to burden others, we suppress those needs. So, how do you know the difference between a need and a want? The key is understanding that your desires are just as valid as anyone else’s, and it's okay to ask for what you want. You don’t have to be the “nice person” who always sacrifices their own needs for the sake of others. Your feelings, wants, and needs matter too. The Dangerous "Nice Person" Trap Here’s a powerful insight that comes from my own experience: I used to be a nice guy. I wanted everyone to like me, avoid conflict, and always say "yes" to everyone. In fact, I spent a lot of time in my 20s in romantic relationships where I’d show up full of excitement, but the moment things got more serious, I felt suffocated. I couldn’t figure out why I was pushing people away—until I realized that my fear of setting boundaries was the real culprit. The issue wasn’t that I didn’t like the person I was dating—it was that I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted, or even recognize what I needed in a relationship. I couldn’t express my feelings and desires in a healthy, constructive way. And so, the anxiety about disappointing others, or being rejected, took over. How the "Nice Person" Trap Impacts You This might sound familiar. Maybe you constantly say "yes" when you really want to say "no." You accommodate others, avoid conflict, and overextend yourself, only to end up feeling drained, frustrated, and misunderstood. This behavior stems from the belief that you're "not enough" as you are, and so you strive to be what others want, even at the cost of your own well-being. But here's the truth: You have the right to want things. In fact, wanting and asking for things is the foundation of healthy, balanced relationships. When you deny yourself the ability to express your desires, it leads to resentment, burnout, and confusion. What’s The Solution? It starts with asking yourself a powerful question: What do I want? This simple but profound question will help you reconnect with your true desires. Whether it’s standing up for yourself at work, expressing your needs in a friendship, or asking for more in a romantic relationship, it’s about starting with self-awareness. Here’s a small example from my own life: not too long ago, my wife and I were in a situation where we had to decide how to handle our son’s bedtime routine. He was having trouble sleeping on his own, which meant she was constantly having to lie with him in his bed. Eventually, I had to ask myself, “What do I really want here?” I realized I wanted to spend more time with my wife and not be in a constant state of tension around this issue. So, I expressed my feelings, setting boundaries while also acknowledging her needs. The conversation was challenging but ultimately brought us closer together, and our relationship grew stronger because we were both able to share what we truly wanted. Final Thoughts: Start Asking for What You Want Here’s the liberating truth: It’s okay to want things. And it’s even more important to ask for them. If you’re ready to stop the cycle of people-pleasing and start showing up as your true, authentic self, it begins with claiming your wants and needs as valid and important. Remember, your desires are not burdensome; they are part of your humanity. The more you can ask for what you want, the more confident you’ll feel in your relationships, and the healthier those connections will be. So, start today by asking yourself: What do I want? Keep asking this question throughout the day in different situations. With practice, you’ll start to see how this small shift can create a massive transformation in your relationships. Until next time, have the courage to be who you are and know, on a deep level, that you’re awesome.

Do you feel stuck trying to be "nice" all the time? Always avoiding conflict, worrying what others will think, and saying yes when you mean no? In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals the hidden cost of people-pleasing—and why it’s one of the most dangerous habits you can have. From parenting to relationships to work decisions, this pattern can quietly lead you into situations that drain your time, money, confidence, and joy. With humor and real-life examples, Dr. Aziz shows how the gentle current of niceness can pull you far off course. You’ll hear stories from his own life—including a recent run-in with a pushy salesman—that bring this dynamic to life in vivid detail. Most importantly, he helps you recognize where this pattern shows up in your world so you can start making new, empowered choices. If you’re ready to stop being the “good boy” or “good girl” and start being you—bold, real, and powerful—this episode is your invitation. Listen now and take the first step toward more confidence, freedom, and self-respect.---------------------------------------------   Welcome to another episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, where we tackle the challenges of social anxiety, people-pleasing, and self-doubt to help you confidently show up as your true self. Today’s episode is about breaking free from the crippling grip of anxiety—specifically, how the need to control your environment can intensify your feelings of anxiety and hold you back. Why Do We Feel Anxious? Anxiety is an uncomfortable and unsettling feeling, often accompanied by thoughts of worry or fear. It's that nagging voice in your head telling you that something bad is going to happen, causing your body to feel on edge, frantic, or even panicked. Anxiety can show up anywhere—whether it’s in social situations, at work, or in personal relationships. But what if I told you that the key to reducing anxiety isn’t about finding a quick fix or a silver bullet, but about changing how you relate to the anxiety itself? The Need for Control: The Root Cause of Anxiety Here’s the truth: Anxiety often stems from the need to control. When we feel like we need something to happen a certain way—whether it’s for people to like us, to be successful, or to avoid discomfort—we trigger anxiety. We think, "If I don’t control this, something bad will happen." For example, consider the anxiety we feel about sleep. Maybe you're stressed about getting enough rest, but the more you stress about it, the harder it becomes to fall asleep. This is a perfect example of how our need to control a situation causes the anxiety itself. The more we believe that we need to control the outcome, the more anxiety we create. Stand-out Quote: "Anxiety comes from the need to control. The more you try to control something, the more anxiety you create." Shifting Your Relationship with Anxiety So, how do we break free from the grip of anxiety and control? The solution isn’t a magic pill or a one-time fix. It’s about awareness and practice. Acknowledge the need to control: The first step in breaking the cycle is recognizing when you’re trying to control something. Notice how your thoughts tell you, “I need this to go right, or else.” Sit with discomfort: Instead of avoiding discomfort or trying to control it, choose to face it. Anxiety will always be present when we try to control our emotions or outcomes. By allowing yourself to feel the discomfort without attaching a need to control it, you can start to decrease its power over you. Let go of the “or else”: Remind yourself that even if things don’t go as planned, you will be okay. By choosing to stop controlling and embracing uncertainty, you take back your power. The Long-Term Solution: Training Yourself to Think Differently The real liberation from anxiety comes when you train yourself over time to think and act differently. Just like building muscle at the gym, overcoming anxiety takes consistent practice. The more you practice letting go of the need to control, the less anxiety will dictate your actions. It’s not about never feeling anxious again. It’s about learning to respond differently to anxiety when it arises. You can train your nervous system to become more regulated, even in the face of discomfort. The more you practice this, the stronger your sense of confidence becomes. You Have the Power to Change If you’re ready to break the avoidance cycle and take control of your anxiety, the first step is acknowledging the need to control and learning how to let go. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but remember—you don’t have to do this alone. You can train yourself over time to build lasting confidence and handle life’s challenges without anxiety taking the lead. Action Step: Today, notice when you’re trying to control something. Whether it’s a conversation, your schedule, or how others perceive you, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that it's okay not to control everything. Let go, and see what happens. Remember, the path to confidence is built one step at a time, and you are capable of taking that first step today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you’re awesome.  

Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you.  ---------------------------------------------------------- Do you feel like you're stuck in a cycle of social anxiety and avoidance? You're not alone. Many people struggle with this exact pattern, and if you're ready to break free from it, you're in the right place. In today’s blog post, we’re diving into the Avoidance Cycle—why it keeps you stuck, how it plays out in your life, and most importantly, how you can break free and build lasting confidence. Let’s uncover the truth behind this cycle and discover how you can shift from avoidance to confidence. What is the Avoidance Cycle? The avoidance cycle begins when you face discomfort. Whether it’s approaching someone you’re attracted to, speaking up in a meeting, or sending that important email you’ve been putting off, discomfort creeps in. It could be mild anxiety, fear of rejection, or dread of confrontation. In response, the brain seeks relief and takes the easy route: avoidance. But here’s the kicker—avoiding the discomfort reinforces the cycle. Instead of growing through it, you take the easier, more comfortable path, but that path leads to stagnation. Over time, the avoidance habit gets stronger, not just in big situations, but in smaller moments too. You start avoiding more and more, even when the discomfort is mild. Stand-out Quote: “Confidence cannot be built while we’re in the avoidance cycle. The key is breaking the pattern of avoidance and facing discomfort head-on.” Why Avoidance Holds You Back Avoidance seems harmless, right? After all, who doesn’t want to avoid the discomfort of awkward situations? But here’s the problem: The more you avoid, the weaker you become in dealing with discomfort. Just like if you avoid physical exercise, your body becomes weaker. Avoidance works the same way. The more you avoid social situations, challenging conversations, or opportunities to assert yourself, the more anxious and disconnected you become. This is exactly why social anxiety doesn’t just go away by waiting for the “right moment” to feel ready. You’ve got to choose discomfort. Only when you face the discomfort consistently do you start building confidence. How to Break Free from the Cycle So, what does it take to break this cycle and start building real confidence? The first step is acknowledging that you’re in the cycle. Once you realize that avoidance is keeping you stuck, you can make a conscious decision to face discomfort instead of running from it. Here are the key steps to breaking the avoidance cycle: Recognize the discomfort – Whether it’s social anxiety, fear of rejection, or self-doubt, acknowledge that these feelings are normal but not the truth about your abilities. Choose discomfort – When you’re faced with an uncomfortable situation, commit to facing it. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth and confidence you’ll gain last much longer. Practice consistently – Building confidence requires regular action. Start with small steps, like initiating a conversation or speaking up in a meeting. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the stronger your confidence becomes. Stand-out Quote: “Confidence is a byproduct of action—the action that’s outside your comfort zone, the action that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.” Breaking the Cycle Is Possible Here’s the truth: You have the power to break the avoidance cycle. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be instantaneous, but with consistent practice and a willingness to face discomfort, you’ll begin to feel more confident, more alive, and more capable than ever before. Remember, confidence doesn’t come from reading one book or watching one video. It comes from showing up, taking action, and choosing discomfort over and over again. An Inspiring Message of Hope If you’re ready to shift from avoidance to action, know this: change is absolutely possible. The more you practice stepping into discomfort, the more confident you’ll become. So, take that first step today. Choose discomfort. Break the cycle. Build the life you’ve always wanted—one step at a time. Action Step: What’s one uncomfortable action you can take today to challenge the avoidance cycle? Share it in the comments below, and let’s start building lasting confidence together! Until next time, remember to be who you truly are, and know deep down that you're awesome.

Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you. ------------------------------------------------------- People-pleasing—sounds harmless, right? After all, isn't it just about being a nice person, accommodating others, and making sure no one gets upset? But here's the reality: people-pleasing is a dangerous game that subtly chips away at your confidence and can lead to big, negative consequences over time. Whether it's in your personal relationships, your career, or even your finances, playing nice can backfire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. In today’s episode, I’m going to break down the hidden dangers of people-pleasing and share powerful insights on how to start stepping into your authentic self, without the need to please others at the expense of your own well-being. If you’ve ever found yourself overcommitting or avoiding necessary conflicts just to keep others happy, this episode is for you. The Cost of People-Pleasing We all know that one person—maybe it’s you—who just can’t say no. Whether it’s lending money to friends and family, accommodating people’s demands at work, or giving up your personal time to make someone else happy, these behaviors seem harmless at first but can lead to resentment, burnout, and feeling like you’re not truly living for yourself. A big part of this people-pleasing pattern is avoiding conflict. The idea is to keep everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. But this constant accommodation keeps you from making decisions that are right for you. Over time, this gives rise to feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and even emotional exhaustion. The Hidden Signs of Low Confidence People-pleasing doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself—it also impacts how others see you. One of the first signs of low confidence is subtle body language: avoiding eye contact, slouching, or adopting a posture that makes you appear smaller. These small actions communicate a lack of self-assurance, and while they may seem harmless, they reinforce the idea that you’re not worthy of standing tall in your own life. Another hidden sign is hesitancy in your voice tone. When you’re uncertain of yourself, you might end your sentences with a rising tone, almost as if you’re asking a question instead of making a statement. This lack of certainty can make others feel uncertain about you too, undermining your confidence and credibility. The Freedom of Saying “No” What if you could embrace the power of saying “no” without guilt or fear? That’s right—by breaking free from the need to please everyone, you start to reclaim your personal power. Imagine not having to justify yourself every time you set a boundary or choose to do what’s best for you. Setting boundaries is not only healthy but necessary for building real confidence. For example, when I tell my kids they can only play on their iPad for an hour, they might protest. They may call me “mean,” but it’s my responsibility as a parent to set limits for their benefit. It’s the same in all areas of life: saying “no” when needed shows you’re taking ownership of your decisions, and that is what builds true confidence. Step into Your True Power People-pleasing may feel safe and familiar, but it ultimately holds you back from becoming the confident, authentic person you’re meant to be. The key to breaking free from this cycle is to start saying no, setting boundaries, and practicing direct communication—even when it feels uncomfortable. Your confidence will grow as you take ownership of your life, make decisions based on your values, and stop trying to please everyone around you. The more you practice being authentic, the more you will step into the powerful version of yourself that’s always been waiting to emerge. Take Action Now So, what’s the first step? Start by reflecting on the costs of people-pleasing in your life. Think about the situations where you’ve sacrificed your needs to make someone else happy. What impact has this had on you? The more you see the true cost of constantly trying to please others, the more you’ll realize that this is not the life you want to lead. Remember, saying “no” isn’t just about rejecting others—it’s about choosing yourself. And when you start making choices that honor your needs, your confidence will naturally follow. You are worthy of being your true self, and it's time to stop letting people-pleasing stand in the way of your authentic, powerful life. As always, until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you truly are, and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

Colin Yearwood, a sales expert and founder of the Sales Coaching Gym, shares his transformative journey from dreading sales to embracing it as a powerful tool for freedom and service. He discusses how overcoming the fear of rejection can empower individuals to ask for what they want in life. Colin emphasizes that sales can be selfless when approached with authenticity, detailing strategies for mastering conversations and building meaningful connections. His insights on reframing rejection and persisting through challenges provide invaluable lessons for anyone looking to enhance their confidence and impact.

In this revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz takes you deep beneath the surface of people-pleasing to uncover the root cause of "nice" behavior—and how to break free from it once and for all. Whether it’s avoiding conflict, constantly agreeing, or feeling guilty for asserting yourself, these behaviors are all symptoms of one deeper fear. Dr. Aziz shows you how to stop managing a dozen surface habits and instead zero in on the core emotional driver that keeps you stuck in patterns of approval-seeking and guilt. You’ll learn why the real path to confidence and freedom isn’t about “trying harder” to be assertive—it’s about upgrading your internal rules and learning how to handle the uncomfortable feelings you’re trying to avoid. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt trapped by niceness or frustrated by your inability to speak up, this episode is your roadmap out. Tune in now and start stepping into your bold, authentic self.----------------------------- Sales often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as manipulative, transactional, and something that “pushy” people do. But what if sales could be a tool for good? What if it was about helping others, building real connections, and empowering them to make decisions that could transform their lives? In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who has helped countless coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs navigate the world of sales with confidence and integrity. Colin’s journey into sales wasn’t a straightforward one—he was a self-described “late bloomer.” For years, he hated selling and avoided it, offering discounted work and even giving away services for free. But when he realized that in order to grow his business and help people, he had to get comfortable with selling, everything shifted. Through a combination of personal development and sales strategy, Colin transformed his mindset and his approach. Now, he sees selling as one of the most powerful tools for creating meaningful change in people’s lives. The Heart of Sales: Serving, Not Manipulating A common fear many people have when it comes to sales is that it’s manipulative. The idea of convincing someone to buy something they don’t need feels icky. But Colin explains that the problem isn’t selling—it’s how you sell. If you approach sales with the mindset of serving others, listening to their concerns, and finding the best solution for them, then you’re not manipulating, you’re helping. One of the biggest shifts Colin experienced was moving away from desperation. When you need the sale to feel worthy or successful, your energy will shift, and people will sense that. Instead, Colin encourages focusing on what’s best for the person you’re speaking with. Being unattached to the outcome of the sale frees you up to show up authentically and let the conversation unfold naturally. Stand-out Quote: “When you show up centered and focused on the other person, not on making the sale, that’s when the magic happens.” The Fear of Rejection: How to Embrace ‘No’ Sales, like dating, involves rejection. And let’s be honest—nobody likes it. But rejection doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Colin explains that a “no” from someone doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it simply means your offer wasn’t the right fit for them at that time. The key is not to take rejection personally. When you stop seeing rejection as a reflection of your worth, it becomes easier to navigate and move forward. To get better at handling rejection, Colin recommends focusing on learning from the conversation rather than obsessing over what went wrong. After every sales call or interaction, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This practice allows you to build on your successes and grow from your mistakes, creating a continuous cycle of improvement and confidence. Stand-out Quote: “When you get a ‘no,’ see it as an opportunity to learn and refine your approach, not a sign of failure.” The Power of Curiosity and Energy in Sales Conversations Sales isn’t about talking someone into something they don’t need; it’s about listening to their needs, understanding their challenges, and offering a solution. Colin emphasizes the importance of curiosity. Instead of just following a script, be genuinely curious about the person you’re talking to. Ask questions that dig deeper, and truly listen to their responses. This allows you to align your offer with what they truly need. One of the most powerful things Colin does before a sales call is get himself into the right mindset. He spends time grounding himself, setting intentions, and reminding himself that the conversation is about serving, not just closing a deal. This preparation helps him show up with confidence and clarity, and it shifts the energy of the conversation. Stand-out Quote: “The more curious you are, the more connected you’ll be to the person on the other side of the conversation.” Turning Sales into a Personal Growth Journey Colin’s approach to sales is more than just a strategy—it’s a mindset shift. By focusing on personal development, emotional intelligence, and being present in each conversation, you can transform the sales process into a tool for personal growth and meaningful connection. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Action Step: Reflect on your own mindset around sales. Do you fear rejection? Do you feel like selling is manipulative? Shift your focus to the person you’re serving. What do they need? What can you offer that would genuinely improve their life or business? By approaching sales as an act of service, you’ll start to feel more confident and less attached to the outcome. If you want to learn more about Colin’s approach to sales and personal growth, be sure to check out his website ColinYearwood.com and explore the resources available to help you master the art of selling with authenticity and confidence. In Conclusion: Embrace the Journey Sales is a journey of self-discovery, vulnerability, and growth. The more you show up with authenticity, curiosity, and a servant’s heart, the more you’ll connect with others and create opportunities for meaningful success. Remember, it’s not about making the sale—it’s about making a difference. Are you ready to stop fearing rejection and start selling with confidence?

Why do you avoid conflict, over-apologize, or say “yes” when you really mean “no”? In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz unpacks the deeper reasons behind people-pleasing and “nice” behavior—and reveals what’s really driving it. You’ll discover that these habits aren’t just random quirks—they’re part of a system designed to keep you “safe” by earning approval and avoiding disapproval. But this comes at a huge cost: your authenticity, your confidence, and your freedom. Dr. Aziz shares key signs of hidden people-pleasing and offers a compelling invitation to look at what you’re really afraid to feel. Once you understand the emotional root of these patterns, you can start breaking free—not by fixing a dozen behaviors, but by going straight to the source. 🎧 Ready to reclaim your voice and stop living by invisible rules? Listen now to start your journey toward greater confidence and true self-expression.-------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever found yourself bending over backward to please others, saying yes when you really wanted to say no, or avoiding confrontation because you’re scared of what might happen if you speak your truth? If so, you’re not alone. People-pleasing behaviors can show up in many areas of life—from romantic relationships to work and even friendships. The good news? You don’t need to fix every single behavior. Instead, we’re going to dig into what’s really at the root of these patterns and how you can change them from the inside out. The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing We often think of people-pleasing as just being “nice,” but the truth is, there’s a huge difference between being kind and being overly accommodating to the point where it harms your emotional well-being. People-pleasing behaviors are typically driven by an intense fear of rejection, disapproval, or conflict. You might find yourself avoiding conflict at all costs, smiling when you're upset, or agreeing with everything someone says—even if you don’t believe it. Stand-out Quote: “People-pleasing isn't about kindness—it's about seeking approval to feel safe and accepted.” Some of the most common signs of people-pleasing include: Avoiding conflict: You might avoid difficult conversations or disagreeing with others because you fear their reaction. Smiling when upset: Masking your true feelings with a smile or laugh, even when you’re uncomfortable. Excessive agreeing: You nod or say “yes” to everything, even when it’s not what you truly want, just to keep the peace. These behaviors might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can lead to a sense of being disconnected from your true self. You start to feel as though you're living for others and not for yourself, which can be emotionally exhausting and even leave you feeling resentful or invisible. What’s at the Root of People-Pleasing? When you break down the people-pleasing behaviors, you’ll find one thing at the core: fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being judged, and ultimately, fear that you won’t be good enough. It’s the fear that if you don’t follow the unspoken rules—like always agreeing with others or avoiding conflict—you won’t be loved, accepted, or valued. But here’s the key realization: You don’t need to keep playing by these rules. The rules are simply a collection of beliefs that you’ve internalized over the years. You don’t have to keep following them if they aren’t serving you. The Power of Feeling Your Feelings One of the most effective ways to break free from people-pleasing is to stop avoiding uncomfortable feelings. When you’re constantly trying to avoid upsetting people or making them feel uncomfortable, you’re also avoiding your own discomfort. This avoidance keeps the cycle going. Instead of running from the fear of rejection or conflict, feel it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but here’s the game-changer: Your ability to feel and tolerate discomfort is the key to breaking free. When you can sit with those emotions and still act authentically, you’ll find that you are not only stronger but also more aligned with your true self. Stand-out Quote: “When you break the rules of people-pleasing, you’re breaking free to become your true, authentic self.” The Path to Freedom: A Practical Step Here’s your action step for today: Pick one rule you’ve been living by—maybe it’s always saying yes when you mean no, or avoiding difficult conversations—and imagine breaking that rule. Picture yourself saying “no” when you usually say yes, or speaking up when you usually stay quiet. Ask yourself: What do you fear will happen? What’s the worst-case scenario? More often than not, the fear is exaggerated, and you’ll realize that you can handle the discomfort that comes with it. Take a moment to feel that discomfort fully. It’s not as bad as it seems, and the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Remember, breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. With each step, you’ll feel more empowered, more authentic, and more connected to your true self. Embrace Your True Self People-pleasing doesn’t make you a good person—it makes you a person who is disconnected from their own truth. By starting to challenge the rules you’ve been following, you can begin the process of reclaiming your power. You can stop living for others and start living for yourself. You are worthy of love, respect, and connection just as you are. It’s time to embrace your authentic self—without the fear, the guilt, or the need to please anyone else. You are enough. Remember, it’s not about being “good” according to someone else’s standards—it’s about being true to yourself.