Shrink For The Shy Guy

This holiday season, explore the transformative gift of self-acceptance. The discussion emphasizes how we often overlook our own worth despite external successes. Through a touching client story, the importance of shifting from self-criticism to self-affirmation is highlighted. Listeners are encouraged to become their own biggest supporters by offering themselves the praise and love they seek from others. With humor and insight, actionable steps are provided to cultivate inner confidence and embrace self-love.

n this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz delves into a universal and thought-provoking question: Do you talk yourself out of being authentic? Spoiler alert—most of us do. He explores how fear, doubt, and social conditioning can often lead us to hold back who we truly are, whether it's in how we express ourselves, the choices we make, or how we connect with others. Authenticity, as Dr. Aziz explains, isn’t just a feel-good buzzword; it’s a dynamic and evolving practice of aligning with who you are in the minutiae of daily life, in interpersonal relationships, and on a larger, soul-level path. Dr. Aziz shares personal stories, including how he confronted his own hesitations and fears, such as being vulnerable with his father or owning his unique interests and quirks. Through relatable examples, he illustrates the subtle ways we can hold ourselves back—whether by worrying about what others might think, fearing conflict, or simply dismissing the value of sharing ourselves. With warmth and humor, Dr. Aziz offers practical insights into identifying and defying these inner stories, encouraging listeners to step into their authentic selves and take bold, liberating actions that lead to greater self-connection and fulfillment.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How to Stop Talking Yourself Out of Being Authentic Do you talk yourself out of being authentic? Do you often hold back what you really think, feel, or want to say? If so, you're not alone. Most of us have been there at one point or another. In fact, for many of us, it can become a habitual response to avoid discomfort or judgment from others. But here's the thing: living authentically is one of the most empowering things you can do. And yet, it’s something we often talk ourselves out of. In this post, I’m going to share the common ways we talk ourselves out of authenticity, and how you can shift that habit to step into a more powerful, true version of yourself. Why Authenticity Feels So Good (But Also Scary) Being authentic sounds great in theory, right? The idea of showing up as your true self, without pretending to be something you're not, is incredibly freeing. When you’re truly authentic, you don’t have to hide or put on a mask to gain approval. There’s a sense of freedom that comes with just being you. But authenticity isn't always easy. Sometimes, it feels like a massive risk. It's not just about the small things—like how you dress or what you say. Authenticity also involves living in alignment with your values, making bold decisions in your career or relationships, and even letting go of things that no longer serve you. And to do that, you have to confront your fears head-on. How We Talk Ourselves Out of Being Authentic We all have those moments where we pull back from being our true selves. And it’s often driven by the fear of judgment. Here are a few ways we talk ourselves out of authenticity: Fear of What Others Will Think This is the biggest one. Whether it’s a conversation with friends, coworkers, or family, the question often lingers: What will they think of me if I say this or do that? You might want to wear a certain outfit, express a unique opinion, or share a vulnerable moment, but the fear of judgment holds you back. In some cases, it might even be about people from your past—friends from high school, or a critical family member who still influences your decisions, even though they’re not in your life anymore. Worrying About Disapproval Another way we talk ourselves out of authenticity is by worrying about how we’ll affect others. Maybe you want to share a disagreement, voice a different opinion, or express your true feelings, but you worry it will upset the other person. You might fear that you’ll destabilize the relationship, so you choose to stay quiet instead. This fear of conflict or disapproval can keep you trapped in inauthenticity. Believing It’s Not Worth It Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of authenticity because we think there’s no point. For example, maybe you want to have a deeper conversation with a loved one about your feelings, but you tell yourself, What’s the point? Maybe they won’t understand, or it might cause unnecessary stress. It’s easy to hold back because you don’t think it will make a difference. But this is often just a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability. The Power of Defying These Stories Here’s the thing: when you challenge these fears, when you defy the stories you tell yourself, you reclaim your power. It's about recognizing when you’re holding yourself back and deciding to do the opposite—whether that’s wearing what you want to wear, sharing an authentic opinion, or stepping into a decision that scares you. Action Step: Start by identifying when you’re talking yourself out of being authentic. Pay attention to the moments when you hold back—whether it's in a conversation, with a friend, or in your day-to-day choices. Then, choose to defy those stories. Take the risk. You might feel vulnerable at first, but over time, you’ll discover the strength that comes with being fully yourself. It’s Worth It: Even if someone judges you or the outcome is uncomfortable, living authentically will always feel better in the long run. You’ll feel more alive, more empowered, and more at peace with who you are. And that’s a life worth living. You Can Be Authentic You don’t have to be perfect at it, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But if you consistently choose to live authentically, you will experience a deeper connection to yourself and others. Start with small steps. Express your opinions. Wear what you want. Share your feelings. And as you do, you'll step into your full potential. Remember, authenticity is a moving target—it evolves with you as you grow. So, keep embracing it, and trust that each step you take is bringing you closer to the real, powerful version of yourself.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the concept of social freedom—the ability to be your most authentic self in social situations without fear or inhibition. Social freedom isn’t about achieving one final destination but embracing an ongoing journey of self-expression and courage. Dr. Aziz highlights how shedding the "cage" of social anxiety or niceness allows you to fully express your thoughts, feelings, and individuality in every interaction, from casual conversations to meaningful connections. Dr. Aziz breaks down two distinct paths to achieve social freedom: the 3% Path and the Jump-In Path. The 3% Path focuses on incremental, manageable growth—leaning into your edge by making small, consistent changes, like sharing one more authentic sentence or showing a bit more boldness in each interaction. On the other hand, the Jump-In Path is for those ready to dive headfirst into risk, shedding personas and embracing full authenticity in a powerful leap. Both methods, whether gradual or transformative, guide you toward becoming more expressive, authentic, and unapologetically you. Listen in to discover which approach resonates with your journey and how to set actionable steps to implement these transformative practices in your life.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you ready to break free from the grip of fear, self-doubt, and social anxiety? Imagine waking up tomorrow with the confidence to be completely yourself, no matter who you’re around. It’s not just a dream—it’s something you can achieve, and today, I’m going to share two powerful paths to get you there. In this episode, we’re diving into social freedom—the ability to express who you truly are in any situation without fear of judgment or rejection. Whether it’s speaking your truth at work, sharing your thoughts with friends, or simply wearing what feels good to you, social freedom means you get to be you, unapologetically. What Is Social Freedom? Social freedom is all about being yourself in any social context. It's about feeling free to express your thoughts, your ideas, and even your emotions without the constant worry of being judged or rejected. It’s not just about “acting” confident—social freedom comes from truly owning who you are. To give you a simple example, my son, who was nervous about reading his story aloud, almost held back his creativity out of fear. But after a little support and encouragement, he shared his story, and it was a beautiful moment of connection. That’s what social freedom looks like: letting yourself share and fully express who you are. Two Paths to Achieving Social Freedom Now that you know what social freedom is, how do you get there? There are two distinct paths, and each offers a different approach to help you break free from the shackles of social anxiety. 1. The 3% Path: Small but Powerful Steps The 3% path is about gradually expanding your comfort zone by committing to just 3% more authenticity each time you interact. This could mean sharing one more thought, asking for something you normally wouldn’t, or letting your true feelings show in a conversation. The beauty of this path is that it’s manageable and gradual. A 3% shift is small enough to be manageable but impactful enough to create change over time. It’s the power of consistent, incremental progress. Imagine making one small change in every social interaction—over time, these changes will compound, and before you know it, you’ll be in a totally different place socially. 2. The Jump-Off-the-Dock Path: Dive Right In The second path is more drastic—just dive in. This is the “eff it” path. You decide to fully express yourself without holding back, even if it feels uncomfortable. Instead of approaching each interaction with caution and calculation, you just let go and say what’s on your mind. You stop worrying about pleasing everyone and simply focus on being true to yourself. This path requires boldness. It’s like jumping off a dock into the unknown. The first few jumps will be terrifying, but the rewards are immense: freedom, authenticity, and a sense of relief from constantly holding yourself back. You’ll experience more of your true self, and the social anxiety that once held you back will begin to melt away. Which Path Is Right for You? Both paths will lead you to social freedom, but the key is choosing which one resonates most with you right now. The 3% path is great for those who want a slow and steady approach, while the “jump off the dock” path works best for those ready to make a big shift in a shorter time frame. Remember, there’s no wrong way to go about this. What matters most is your willingness to take action, whether it’s small steps or bold leaps. Take Action Now So, which path will you choose? If you’re ready to take action, set a clear intention for how you want to move forward. Will you start small with the 3% path, or are you ready to dive in headfirst? The most important thing is to start. Lean into the discomfort. That’s where the magic happens. If you’re looking for more support on your journey to social freedom, be sure to check out my Mastermind program coming in early 2025. But until then, embrace who you are and know that your true self is enough. You’ve got this!

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz delves into the fourth principle of sanity and victory: Almost Always On My Own Side (AMOS). Building on the previous principles—taking ownership, surrendering to life's flow, and embracing the process—AMOS introduces the idea of being consistently compassionate and supportive toward yourself. Dr. Aziz explores the concept of self-compassion as a transformative tool, helping you to let go of self-criticism and cultivate a nurturing relationship with yourself. He draws on both personal experience and years of clinical research, illustrating how shifting from self-attack to self-support can profoundly impact your confidence and overall well-being. Dr. Aziz emphasizes that being on your own side is not just about boosting self-esteem or acknowledging your worth when things go well. Instead, it's about offering yourself kindness and empathy, especially when you face setbacks or challenges. He provides actionable steps to practice AMOS in daily life, including simple yet powerful questions like, “What would I do or say if I were truly on my own side right now?” Whether you’re new to the concept or already practicing it, this episode offers fresh insights and practical tools to deepen your self-compassion and unlock greater confidence. Tune in to discover how to step into a more aligned and supportive relationship with yourself.-------------------------------------------------------------------------   Welcome to today’s episode, where we dive deep into the fourth principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can truly transform your confidence. If you’ve been following along, you already know the first three principles: I am the captain of my ship—taking full ownership of your life. Surrender is the ultimate life skill—accepting that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you respond. The process is the purpose—embracing the journey rather than obsessing over the end goal. If you’re feeling intrigued, then the next principle will change the way you see yourself, forever. It’s called Almost Always On My Own Side (OMOS). What Does "Almost Always" Mean? At its core, this principle is about learning to be on your own side. It’s about treating yourself as you would a close friend—compassionately, with understanding, and without judgment. You’re probably familiar with the term "self-esteem," which refers to how much you value yourself. High self-esteem is about believing you bring value to the world; low self-esteem, on the other hand, is when you feel like you have nothing to offer. But what happens when you don’t feel valuable, especially after making a mistake or when you’re in the process of learning something new? This is where self-compassion comes in. Unlike self-esteem, which is dependent on how well you perform, self-compassion is unconditional. It’s not about being perfect or achieving greatness; it’s about acknowledging your struggles and treating yourself with kindness, regardless of the outcome. What Happens When You're Not On Your Own Side? Imagine being constantly followed around by someone who critiques everything you do. They point out every mistake, call you stupid, and tell you that you're not good enough. You wouldn’t tolerate this behavior from someone else, so why do we allow this internal critic to rule our lives? For many of us, this critic becomes our default mode. We spend our days beating ourselves up, never allowing room for compassion or understanding. The truth is, this is insanity—it’s a toxic pattern that drains our energy and holds us back from living fully. But when we practice being on our own side, we begin to shift from self-attack to self-support. We stop judging ourselves harshly and start lifting ourselves up with compassion, understanding that we are enough just as we are. The Power of Practicing OMOS When you begin to practice being on your own side, something amazing happens: You start to shift how you approach life’s challenges. Instead of hiding from difficulties, you embrace them as opportunities for growth. This change in perspective is incredibly freeing, and it can radically alter your confidence. Why This Principle Is Key to Your Confidence So why is being on your own side so essential for building confidence? Because confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about embracing your humanity, mistakes and all. You need the courage to face your fears and take risks, even when things don’t go perfectly. When you’re on your own side, you develop the strength to keep moving forward—no matter how many setbacks you face. Take Action Today Now that you understand the power of being on your own side, it’s time to put this principle into action. Start by asking yourself: How on my own side am I today? Can you treat yourself with kindness and compassion, even in moments of struggle? To take it a step further, think about one area of your life where you’ve been critical of yourself. Maybe it's your work, your appearance, or your relationships. Now, instead of criticizing yourself, show compassion. Acknowledge your struggles, give yourself some grace, and move forward with kindness. If you're ready for more transformation and support in this journey, check out my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind, where we take principles like OMOS and apply them to real-life challenges, helping you build lasting, unshakable confidence. Remember, you’re awesome, and you deserve to be on your own side. Start practicing today, and watch how your life begins to transform.

Transforming confidence is possible, no matter how long you've struggled. It's a skill that requires consistent action, not just hope. Facing uncomfortable situations can lead to lasting change. While transformation may take longer than expected, true confidence becomes a way of life. Dr. Aziz shares practical steps and inspiring client stories to guide you on this journey. Embracing the process and community support can amplify your growth, making confidence a reachable goal.

Discover how to transform rejection from a source of shame into neutral information. Learn to embrace daily setbacks as learning experiences while managing your emotional responses. Engage in a guided mindfulness exercise to connect with your feelings through breathwork. Dive into the healing power of self-affirmation and recognize your inherent worth, independent of external validation. This journey fosters confidence, inner peace, and self-acceptance, leaving you empowered to face rejection with newfound resilience.

Rejection can feel like a heavy weight, especially for those with social anxiety or people-pleasing tendencies. The discussion unveils hidden patterns that shape our fear, urging listeners to reframe their perceptions of rejection. Key insights reveal how avoiding rejection limits life experiences rather than protecting us. Aziz introduces the concept of recognizing default rejection patterns as the first step toward transformation. Learn to embrace self-worth and reclaim your power to live boldly, free from the sting of rejection.

Discover the transformative power of valuing the journey over outcomes. Embrace the process in fitness, relationships, and self-discovery to find true joy. Learn how focusing on growth rather than results can enhance your sense of purpose. Explore the illusion of permanent happiness and understand that satisfaction lies in your experiences, not just in achieving goals. With personal anecdotes, uncover how enthusiasm can spark transformation and deepen your engagement with life.

Discover the strange secret to becoming more likable by embracing authenticity! It’s not about flashy techniques, but rather showing your true self. Explore how vulnerability can transform your connections and let go of the fear of judgment. Personal stories highlight the magic of being open and real. Whether you're tackling social anxiety or seeking deeper bonds, this conversation reveals how simple changes can drastically enhance your likability and foster genuine relationships.

I'm excited to share with you the second principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can help you feel more free from anxiety, stress, and worrying about what others think. These principles are designed to bring you a sense of peace while empowering you to create the life you want, which is the ultimate victory. In this episode, we dive into the power of surrender. What does it mean to surrender, and how can it become the ultimate life skill for you? I'll explain the meaning behind this principle and how it helps you flow with life, free yourself from unnecessary suffering, and stay calm, even in challenging circumstances. I'll also show you how to avoid the trap of thinking you need everything to go a certain way to feel okay, and how to let go of that need for control. If you're looking to feel less weighed down by life's demands and more empowered, this episode is for you. So, let's explore how surrender can bring you more freedom and joy, and set you up for victory.   ---------------------------------------------------------------   As a reminder, sanity, in this context, refers to a sense of peace and the ability to flow with life without sabotaging your well-being. Victory, on the other hand, is about breaking through challenges and becoming who you are truly meant to be. These principles are here to guide you towards both. Principle #2: Surrender Is the Ultimate Life Skill "Surrender to the divine flow is the ultimate life skill. Not my will, but thy will. I remember the fundamental error that I need something out there to be exactly a certain way in order to feel okay in here. Peace is available right now. I'm okay either way. All I need is within me now. I accept the current painting as it is and calmly walk into an entirely different room." Unpacking the Principle Surrender vs. Giving Up: When we hear the word "surrender," it’s common to associate it with defeat. However, true surrender means submitting to a greater force, allowing life to unfold without forcing our will upon it. It’s about trusting the process and recognizing that we don’t always need to control every aspect of our lives. The Divine Flow: This principle encourages you to connect with the divine flow—whether that’s a spiritual belief, the universe, or simply the natural progression of life. Understanding that life is happening for you, not to you, can alleviate the burden of needing everything to go your way. Accepting Reality: One of the biggest challenges we face is the belief that we need certain outcomes to feel okay. This fundamental error leads to suffering. We often say, “If only this person liked me,” or “If only I had that job,” then I would be happy. This attachment to specific outcomes traps us in a cycle of anxiety. Finding Peace Now: The statement "peace is available right now" reminds us that we can find calm within ourselves regardless of external circumstances. By shifting our focus inward and acknowledging that our worth does not depend on external validation, we can cultivate a sense of peace. Accepting the Current Painting: Imagine your life as a gallery filled with paintings representing different aspects of your existence. Instead of fixating on the ones you dislike, accept them as they are and choose to explore other rooms in your gallery. This metaphor illustrates the importance of recognizing your current circumstances without being bogged down by them. Applying the Principle in Your Life Now that we’ve unpacked this principle, let’s explore how you can integrate it into your daily routine. Time for Action: Embrace Surrender Your action step today is to practice surrender. Here’s how you can do this: Reflect on Your Attachments: Identify areas in your life where you feel anxious or stressed. Ask yourself what specific outcomes you’re attached to and how they affect your emotional state. Practice Acceptance: Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe deeply. Repeat the mantra, “I am okay either way.” Feel the weight of your attachments lifting as you accept your current circumstances. Engage with the Present: Each day, find a small moment to consciously surrender. This could be letting go of a minor annoyance or frustration. Notice how this shift affects your overall mood and well-being. Utilize Guided Resources: Consider listening to the guided audio exercises mentioned in previous episodes. These resources can help reinforce your practice of surrender and acceptance. As we conclude this episode, remember that surrendering to the divine flow doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It means embracing the journey and allowing life to unfold as it should. By practicing this principle, you can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and freedom, empowering you to navigate life with grace and confidence.Join me next time as we continue our exploration of the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. Until then, may you have the courage to surrender and embrace the flow of life, knowing that all you need is within you now. Thank you for being here!