The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

Latest episodes

Oct 23, 2023 • 37min

When Therapy/Coaching Does More Harm Than Good - The Destructive Nature of Shame and Blame

Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients?In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives. Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast and you can find this video with Descript’s “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9IkPlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchSubscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Oct 11, 2023 • 38min

Julie Lee on Losing Her Sister, Navigating Divorce, Embracing ADHD - Using Humor to Heal

Tony reconnects with Julie Lee, who opens up about a tumultuous year marked by personal challenges, including her divorce and the heartrending loss of her sister. Additionally, Julie reveals a recent ADHD diagnosis, joining Tony in the ranks of those diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The duo dives deep into their experiences with ADHD, highlighting its challenges and unexpected silver linings. They underscore the therapeutic power of humor, with Julie sharing how it has been an essential coping mechanism during her trying times. Julie also shares some powerful stories, like discovering a note from her late sister, underscoring the profound power of humor to connect, heal, and make sense of life's unpredictable paths. At the end of the episode, Tony and Julie attempt to make each other laugh, with Julie turning to help from her young daughter in the joke-writing.Furthermore, this conversation sets the stage for an exciting announcement: the launch of Julie and Tony's joint podcast, "Love, ADHD - Where Genius and Scatter Meet." Aiming to demystify the adult ADHD experience and provide solace through shared stories, their podcast offers listeners both relatable narratives and valuable insights. By melding authenticity with humor, "Love, ADHD" seeks to be more than just a podcast—it's a community for those looking to understand and embrace the complexities of ADHD and life itself. Follow or subscribe to “Love, ADHD” wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcast listeners can follow here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-adhd/id1707721821 and Spotify listeners can follow here https://open.spotify.com/show/6kyxztvpVXk1EgeyzuzsQ3?si=bb678548eebc45ebPlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Sep 13, 2023 • 56min

Discovering Self-Assured Motherhood with Rachel Nielson, Host of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Rachel Nielson joins Tony Overbay from the 3 in 30 Podcast for Moms to share the details of Rachel’s time-sensitive once-a-year program, “Self-Assured Motherhood” (SAM). SAM is a 9-month course for women “ready to stop second-guessing themselves and to start bringing the best of themselves to their motherhood.” They discuss the need for boundaries in relationships. Rachel shares her personal stories about infertility and adoption and talks about how important it is to support and understand people going through tough times. She stresses parents' role in a child's life and talks about her approach to positive parenting based on John Gottman's ideas.Tony also shares her experiences with the Nurtured Heart parenting method, which focuses on praising the good things children do while not letting them see and push your buttons. Rachel talks about how important self-care is and how we can look after ourselves without feeling guilty. And they spend time discussing in detail Rachel’s program, especially her “3 Key Pillars” of “Know Your Self,” “Honor Your Needs,” and “Love Your People,” which play a significant role in helping moms feel more confident and balanced.Wrapping up, Tony and Rachel encourage listeners to check out the "Self-Assured Motherhood" program, which has helped many women improve their relationships and feel more confident as mothers. They remind listeners to visit the program's website, selfassuredmotherhood.com If you're interested in parenting, relationships, or just hearing some heartfelt stories, this episode is for you.Here's a link to Rachel's Self-Assured Motherhood Program http://3in30podcast.com/sam and here's a link for Rachel's free class http://3in30podcast.com/freeclassPlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Sep 7, 2023 • 50min

Balancing Heartbeats, Hashtags and Postpartum Depression: Modern-Day Motherhood w/Gayane Aramyan, LMFT

Tony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mother of a 3-year-old. They delve into the labyrinth of information that's now at the fingertips of every parent, sifting through the myriad of resources to discern the invaluable from what is sometimes best described as “noise.” Gayane offers a poignant firsthand account of navigating motherhood's complexities, emphasizing the critical but often under-discussed realm of postpartum depression and, more specifically, post-partum rage and how new mothers and parents, in general, can prepare for all the unknowns of parenthood.In an age where technology's imprint is indelible, they grapple with its dual-edged nature in child-rearing, considering its potential benefits and pitfalls. This episode is a nexus of seasoned wisdom and modern-day challenges, offering invaluable insights for those either embarking on the parenting journey or simply curious about the nuanced tapestry of raising children in our digital age. Equip yourself with knowledge and join this compelling discourse on the evolving dynamics of parenthood.Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 31, 2023 • 42min

Differentiation for Dummies: Finding Your Voice in the Relationship Choir

Tony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becoming the very best version of yourself in ALL aspects of your life, and ANY conversation. One listener shares their journey through a candid letter, highlighting the challenges and epiphanies experienced during therapy sessions. From understanding their partner's perspective to navigating cultural and religious taboos on intimacy, the narrative uncovers the significance of recognizing one's emotions distinctly from external influences. The episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, understanding reactions, and the continuous process of reshaping our mental landscapes. This episode offers a comprehensive look into fostering individuality while maintaining a deep connection with others through real-life examples, expert insights, and reflective techniques.Tune in and explore the intricate dynamics of differentiation, understand Bowen's theory in a refreshing light, and get inspired to enrich your mental space continually. Whether it's about confronting past experiences, recognizing external pressures, or seeking genuine personal growth, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for those eager to embrace their authentic selves while building healthier relationships. Join us on the Virtual Couch, and let's journey together into the heart of true self-awareness.To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 24, 2023 • 49min

Why We Misunderstand Each Other: An Exploration of Relational Frames

Tony explains why it is so easy to be misunderstood. He delves deep into the intricate world of Relational Frame Theory, shedding light on the pivotal role frame choice plays in our conversations. Through engaging discussions and real-life examples, Tony highlights the significance of understanding relationships and harnessing the power of curiosity. He touches upon the importance of approaching conversations with good intentions, observing without casting judgments, and navigating the challenges of differing interpretations of words like 'trauma.' By sharing a heartfelt letter from a listener, Tony vividly shows how past traumas shape our present, emphasizing the gaps they can create in trust and understanding.Building on insights from a previous episode, Tony reintroduces the 'assertive frame' idea and demonstrates how word meanings can shift depending on the context. Tony references “A Liberated Mind” by Stephen Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, who emphasizes the depth and complexity of language and relationships. The episode beautifully encapsulates the journey from misunderstanding to connection, offering listeners actionable advice on fostering more robust relationships. From the intricacies of language learning to the importance of curiosity, Tony guides listeners through a transformative journey of communication and connection.To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 21, 2023 • 40min

Introducing The Mind, The Mirror & Me: Be Afraid and Do It Anyway

Tony introduces a brand new podcast to The Virtual Couch Podcast Network, "The Mind, The Mirror & Me." Tony co-hosts the podcast with his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and mental health advocate. Fear, anxiety, and embracing change take center stage in this inspiring episode of "The Mind, The Mirror, & Me." Host Mackie and her therapist dad, Tony, dive deep into their personal journeys, sharing how they overcame anxiety and took courageous leaps in their careers and life. Tune in to discover practical strategies for navigating discomfort and embracing life's transitions, including the empowering concept of expansion in acceptance and commitment therapy. You'll be inspired to unleash your inner courage, pursue your passions, and move forward despite any nervous butterflies. Get ready to conquer fears and embrace change with this dynamic father-daughter duo!You can find The Mind, The Mirror & Me wherever you listen to podcasts. For Apple Podcast listeners, go here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687, and for Spotify listeners, go here https://open.spotify.com/show/5wchHyGlddGo7fAHVsZgRe?si=f9d2d5a373644621 and if you want to watch the podcast on YouTube go here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ2DrLLizhoFrom The Mind, The Mirror & Me Trailer Welcome to "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me," where the worlds of beauty and mental health come together like never before. This is the podcast for anyone eager to explore not just what they see in the mirror but what lies beneath the surface. Mackie Overbay, a 20-something licensed cosmetologist, provides more than just styling tips; she offers a window into self-love, self-care, and the transformative power of looking your best. Her father, Tony Overbay, LMFT, an experienced marriage and family therapist, brings therapeutic insights, offering guidance on relationships, family dynamics, and emotional well-being. Together, they create a rich tapestry of conversation, appealing to listeners of all ages and backgrounds.In each episode, you'll find engaging dialogues and real-world advice that intersects the outer appearance with inner growth. Whether exploring how a new hairstyle can boost your confidence or delving into techniques for cultivating mindfulness and mental clarity, this podcast is as multifaceted as the people it serves.Hear stories from clients in the salon chair, participate in enlightening discussions on solitude, and engage with expert guests from various fields. With topics ranging from the latest trends in beauty to managing stress and anxiety, "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me" brings something unique and invaluable to the table.Join Mackie and her father on this enlightening journey as they help listeners navigate both the mirror of appearance and the mirror of the mind. With every episode, they challenge, inspire, and empower, aiming to make everyone feel comfortable in their skin and life.Listen in, and you may just discover that the path to well-being lies in the reflection of "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me."

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