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Playing With Fire

Latest episodes

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Sep 5, 2021 • 22min

37 Summer's over... negotiating how we handle getting back to the grind

The shift from summer to fall is an easy time to let unexpressed expectations quickly escalate to resentment. Having an intentional conversation about how we share the work of a household is a critical step for keeping your expectations out in the open. Prioritizing love is easier when we regularly revisit how we do this LIFE thing together. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube. Mentioned in this episode: Four Thousand Weeks is a great read for rethinking how we can make the most of our time. You can read about having intimate conversations in Joli's book Project Relationship. And you can find information on working with Joli at www.jolihamilton.com.
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Aug 29, 2021 • 28min

36 Vacation sex at home

Want to feel like you're on vacation at home? In this episode we talk about some things you can do to bring that vacation feeling home, and specifically into the bedroom, anytime. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube You can read about designing your own rituals in Joli's book Project Relationship. And you can find information on working with Joli at www.jolihamilton.com.
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Aug 22, 2021 • 37min

35 How not to let your relationship agreement screw up your relationship

Having a relationship agreement is important, but it can be used to hurt as well as help our relationships. In this episode we talk about what the relationship agreement really is and what it's for, and list some ways to use it to get everybody more security and connection. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Aug 15, 2021 • 38min

34 Three ways masturbation improves your relationship

Masturbation has gotten all kinds of press over the years - some good, some bad, some clinical. We are fans of masturbation. Let's talk about what it's good for, how you can explore and learn about yourself, and some ways you can use it to enhance your connection to your partners. Bonus, Joli's going in deep with the depth psychology of masturbation on this one too! Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Aug 8, 2021 • 41min

33 Individuation Accelerator: What if we don't keep the same beat in our relationship?

Joli calls relationships an individuation accelerator- is your love built for it? Navigating individual differences between partners is not easy (and individuation requires difference!) In this episode, we share some of the ways we manage being vastly different people with divergent interests and goals. We share two key moves you can make to create an individuation relationship of your own. You get to write the script for your relationship yourselves, you don't have to use anybody else's.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Aug 1, 2021 • 30min

32 What do I do when my partner's family is driving me crazy?

Our partner's family can add some challenges to our relationship. In this episode we talk about our own experiences, our mistakes, our successes, and how our relationship deepens because of all of that. Boundary setting plays an important role in all of this, so we refer to the fantastic book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab, and recommend it as a resource for anyone wanting to improve those skills.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jul 25, 2021 • 42min

31 Threesomes... what to consider before the fun

Monogamy works really well for a lot of people and yet a recent study showed that group sexual encounters are the number one fantasy in the US. Maybe as a pair, you've started talking about including other people in your sex life. That can be really fun to think about and to talk about. And there is so much to talk about before taking action! In this episode, we share some things to talk about that can help you all get what you want out of the experience, whether it's a one-time thing or something you're interested in long-term, or something that you decide is more fun to fantasize about than act on. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jul 18, 2021 • 41min

30 How to go from off-the-rack to custom-designed relationship

You've heard us talk about making a relationship agreement that really works for your particular love... but what if you have been married and now things have changed? Maybe you still deeply care about each other but you don't want the standard-issue marriage anymore. Is divorce the only option? Divorce or not, there are actually bigger issues to consider if you want to really go from that one-size-fits-all (who are we kidding, one size is not sufficient!) kind of marriage to an exquisitely customized love.  Follow Joli on Instagram Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jul 4, 2021 • 32min

29 Letting your partner grow at their own pace

Last time we talked about managing hard times. What about the good times? Sometimes our partner will be having wins, and maybe we're not, and those times can be challenging too. What can we do to help our partner grow into themselves more? How can we help each other grow? How can we maintain and develop our connection when it looks like things might be changing? In this episode we talk about our experiences with this situation, and offer some things we do that help those times develop our relationship.  Follow Joli on Instagram Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jun 20, 2021 • 29min

28 Showing up for your partner during heartbreak & grief

Heartbreak and sadness show up in all of our lives. How we show up for each other during those times can have a big impact on our relationships. In this episode we talk about some of the ways we support each other through those times, and how both our similarities and differences help us do that. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

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