
Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper is a weekly podcast that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health, and sexuality - from an unapologetically gay perspective.
Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, and featuring a wide range of special guests, you can expect to be inspired, entertained, and even a little triggered from time to time.
This provocative podcast is for anyone who craves deeper conversations on topics ranging from spirituality to sexuality - and everything in between.
Visit us at www.GayMenGoingDeeper.com
Support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=LT55M79CMH5FN
Latest episodes

Jun 12, 2025 • 49min
Has Pride Lost Its Meaning?
In today’s episode, we’re diving into a question many in our community have been quietly (or loudly) asking: Has Pride lost its meaning?
In this wide-ranging conversation, we reflect on how Pride has evolved from its radical roots in activism to its present-day celebratory scene shaped by media, politics, and corporate sponsorships. We talk about what’s been gained, what’s been lost, and what still needs to be reclaimed.
Some topics we explore:
The impact of corporatization and rainbow capitalism
How we’d reimagine Pride moving forward
The meaning Pride has for us personally
The importance of making Pride more inclusive for those still on the margins
The role media plays in shaping what Pride looks and feels like
How far our rights have come… and how fragile they still are
Whether you love Pride, feel disconnected from it, or land somewhere in between, this episode is an invitation to reflect, reimagine, and reconnect with what Pride means to you in 2025.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Jun 5, 2025 • 1h 14min
Dating as a Demisexual
In this episode, Matt speaks with a panel of demisexual gay men about their experiences dating as demisexuals. What we want you to get out of this episode is greater awareness of yourself if you are demisexual, and to know you are not alone. We want to share our own experiences in the hope that you can learn ways to thrive as a demisexual. If you are not demisexual, this episode will offer you a greater understanding of demisexual men you might come across in dating. We also share helpful, practical dating advice, so stick with us until the end of the episode.
The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:
How did you discover you’re demisexual?
What has been challenging for you about dating as a demisexual?
Where have you found success when it comes to dating as a demisexual?
What advice do you have for other demisexual men who might be struggling in their dating lives?
Related Episode:
Demisexuality: What is it?
Today's Guests:
Andre-Lee Wills
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LinkedIn
Ron Fisher
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Kasey Cromer
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Instagram
Facebook
Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel
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Instagram
TikTok
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

May 29, 2025 • 54min
Why Are Gay Friendships So Hard?
In this engaging discussion, Pepper Rojas, a content creator from The Gay Good, explores the complexities of gay friendships. They dive into the superficiality of performative connections and the underlying shame that often hinders true intimacy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and open communication in building nourishing, authentic relationships. Listeners are invited to shift focus from competition to collaboration, fostering deeper emotional bonds and genuine connections within the community.

May 22, 2025 • 54min
The Reparenting Process
How do the unmet needs of our childhood shape who we are today? And more importantly, how do we learn to meet those needs for ourselves as adults?
In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we explore the re-parenting process—a therapeutic model that helps us heal old wounds, develop self-compassion, and rewrite the internal narratives we inherited from childhood.
We’ll be getting personal as we reflect on on three powerful questions:
1️⃣ What needs went unmet for you as a child?
2️⃣ How did you cope with these unmet needs?
3️⃣ How have you learned to meet these needs for yourself as an adult?
From loneliness and perfectionism to people-pleasing and self-expression, we dive into the real-life stories and coping strategies that shaped our past and the lessons we’ve learned to become the men we are today.
Tune in for an honest, vulnerable, and inspiring discussion on how we can become the loving, supportive parents we always needed—for ourselves.
Related Link: Inner Child Work
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

May 15, 2025 • 54min
How to Not Lose Yourself in Your Relationships
In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author, Tom Bruett, about how to avoid losing yourself in your relationships. By balancing connection and autonomy in our relationships, we can foster more secure relationships that allow us to maintain our sense of self while allowing our partner to do the same.
If you easily lose yourself in your relationships or you’re having a hard time establishing intimacy, this episode will offer a refreshing perspective and tangible takeaways to help you improve your relationship with yourself and others.
The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:
What is codependency and enmeshment?
What are the consequences of being codependent or enmeshed in relationships?
What causes codependency and enmeshment?
How can we heal from codependency and enmeshment?
What is interdependency and differentiation?
How does interdependence and differentiation support secure relationships?
How does attachment style play a role in this topic?
What are some tangible ways to practice interdependence and differentiation?
Book by Tom Bruett:
The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting
Commitment
Today's Guest: Tom Bruett
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Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel
Facebook
Instagram
TikTok
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

May 8, 2025 • 44min
Why Gay Men Love Divas
From Madonna to Mariah, Beyoncé to Barbra— throughout the generations, gay men have been obsessed with divas. But why?
In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re diving into the deep connection between gay men and our beloved divas, exploring:
Who are the divas and what do they have in common?
Why divas resonate so deeply with gay men
How these women inspire us
The diva anthems that have become the soundtrack of self-confidence
What it means to channel your inner diva in everyday life.
Who are today’s divas?
This isn’t just about pop culture—it’s a conversation about power, identity, and how divas have given generations of gay men comfort and strength.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

May 1, 2025 • 46min
The Women in Our Lives
The women in our lives have influenced us in ways we don’t always recognize, but when we take a step back, their impact is undeniable.
In this heartfelt episode, we’re celebrating the uniquely beautiful relationships gay men have with women—from mothers and grandmothers to besties, sisters, and beyond. We’re showing love to all the women who have supported us, shaped us, and often modeled the traits that helped us become who we are today.
Some of the topics we’ll explore:
How our childhoods were shaped by the women around us
The unique love and support between gay men and women
What makes female friendships different from male friendships
The role of empathy and emotional intelligence in these relationships
How friendships evolve over the years
Join us for a deep conversation about the power of women and how these relationships continue to shape us—today and always.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Apr 24, 2025 • 53min
People Pleasing, Boundaries, and Fear of Conflict
Do you find yourself putting other people’s needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity?
In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We’ll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it’s so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up fully in our relationships.
We’ll also discuss:
How to recognize when you’re people pleasing (and why it’s not the same as being kind)
The impact people pleasing has on your self-confidence and relationships
Why gay men are especially prone to it
How to handle the fear of disappointing others
What you can do to finally break the cycle
If you’re ready to stop performing for approval and start living with more authenticity, this episode is for you.
Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo
Website
Instagram
Today's Host: Michael DiIorio
Website
Instagram
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Apr 17, 2025 • 45min
The Power of No
Many gay men struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or engaging in difficult conversations due to deep-seated people-pleasing tendencies and fear of conflict. But staying silent often leads to resentment, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your true self.
As recovering people-pleasers themselves, Matt and Michael have plenty to share about their own journeys toward becoming more assertive in their boundaries.
In this episode, we dive into:
The difference between people-pleasing, healthy compromise, and values-based choices
Practical strategies to speak up with confidence and authenticity
How to set boundaries and say no without guilt or fear
If you’ve ever found yourself saying “yes” when you really meant “no” or avoiding confrontation at the cost of your own needs, this conversation is for you!
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Apr 10, 2025 • 54min
Eroticizing Shame – Turning Pain Into Pleasure
In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost, about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us.
The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:
What does it mean to eroticize shame?
How do shame and desire become intertwined?
What is dissociation, and how can someone overcome it?
Why is there so much sexual compulsivity in the gay community?
What are some common ways people turn shame into pleasure in BDSM, kink, or other erotic practices?
How can someone safely explore these dynamics without reinforcing negative self-perceptions?
Can eroticizing shame be a healing experience? If so, how?
How can someone tell if they are using this exploration in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Today's Guest: Merle Yost
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Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel
Facebook
Instagram
TikTok
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.