Gay Men Going Deeper

Do you find yourself putting other people’s needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity? In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We’ll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it’s so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up fully in our relationships. We’ll also discuss: How to recognize when you’re people pleasing (and why it’s not the same as being kind) The impact people pleasing has on your self-confidence and relationships Why gay men are especially prone to it How to handle the fear of disappointing others What you can do to finally break the cycle If you’re ready to stop performing for approval and start living with more authenticity, this episode is for you. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Many gay men struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or engaging in difficult conversations due to deep-seated people-pleasing tendencies and fear of conflict. But staying silent often leads to resentment, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your true self. As recovering people-pleasers themselves, Matt and Michael have plenty to share about their own journeys toward becoming more assertive in their boundaries. In this episode, we dive into: The difference between people-pleasing, healthy compromise, and values-based choices Practical strategies to speak up with confidence and authenticity How to set boundaries and say no without guilt or fear If you’ve ever found yourself saying “yes” when you really meant “no” or avoiding confrontation at the cost of your own needs, this conversation is for you! Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost, about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us.  The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What does it mean to eroticize shame? How do shame and desire become intertwined? What is dissociation, and how can someone overcome it? Why is there so much sexual compulsivity in the gay community? What are some common ways people turn shame into pleasure in BDSM, kink, or other erotic practices? How can someone safely explore these dynamics without reinforcing negative self-perceptions? Can eroticizing shame be a healing experience? If so, how? How can someone tell if they are using this exploration in a healthy or unhealthy way? Today's Guest: Merle Yost Facebook Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it’s with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we’re diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic. Join us as we discuss: What makes a strong communicator? The role of emotional intelligence in communication Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings Practical tips to improve your listening and speaking skills Whether you want to deepen your connections, set clearer boundaries, or simply get your point across without second-guessing yourself, this episode will give you insights to help you communicate with more clarity and impact. Related Link: Authentic Relating and Empowerment for Gay Men Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

They didn’t teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse. In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano, to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we’ve had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode: 🔹 How conventional sex education fails gay men 🔹 How porn, hookups, and our peers became our teachers (for better or worse) 🔹 How silence and secrecy fuel sexual shame 🔹 What we’re still learning today 🔹 How censorship and misinformation prevent us from getting the info we need 🔹 How to take control of your own sex education Plus: Our favourite resources, communities, and channels for the sex education we actually deserve. Join Michael’s Sexual Empowerment Men’s Group 🎟 Use code GMGD to get 25% off! Today's Guest: Patrick Marano Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you’re truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters.  Some topics we’ll discuss: What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy Choosing the best photos Crafting a bio that stands out. Common profile pitfalls How to be clear without being overly rigid  Balancing confidence with humility How we communicate on apps  Tune in for tips, insights, and takeaways to help you create a profile that attracts the right matches and reflects the real you. Join Michael's FREE one-time workshop where we'll give your dating profile a glow up: The Dating App Glow Up Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this conversation, men's coach Shay Doran delves into the psychological dimensions of erectile dysfunction, particularly among gay men. He reveals that societal stigma can exacerbate performance anxiety and feelings of isolation. The discussion highlights key factors, such as perfectionism, the impact of casual encounters, and the journey toward self-acceptance. Shay also emphasizes the importance of emotional connections in sexual experiences, advocating for vulnerability over mere performance. Listeners gain insights into overcoming shame and fostering intimacy.

Explore the addictive nature of dating apps and their emotional toll on users. Dive into the duality of these platforms, where superficial swipes clash with the desire for deeper connections. The hosts share personal stories and discuss the evolution from traditional gay spaces to app-driven interactions. They emphasize the need for emotional maturity while navigating these digital dating landscapes. Listeners will gain insights on maintaining a healthier relationship with dating apps and recognizing when it's time for a break.

In this engaging discussion, Pepper Rojas, a regular guest renowned for his candid take on gay culture, delves into the transformative concept of the Empowered Bottom. He unpacks the difference between power bottoms and empowered bottoms, advocating for self-advocacy and open communication about desires and boundaries. The conversation challenges bottom shaming and celebrates owning pleasure without apology. Listeners are invited to rethink sexual roles, embrace their identities confidently, and break free from societal norms around masculinity and intimacy.

The discussion swiftly challenges the stereotype that gay couples shy away from monogamy, presenting surprising stats on commitment. It dives into the reasons queer individuals often explore non-traditional relationship models. The hosts shed light on the benefits of monogamous relationships, emphasizing personal growth, intimacy, and the importance of open communication. They confront the stigma attached to monogamy within the queer community, advocating for personal choice in relationship dynamics, whatever their structure may be. Tune in for insightful stories and practical advice!