Gay Men Going Deeper

In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships.  If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerability or codependency, this episode was created with you in mind. This is an excellent episode if you're seeking guidance in relationship challenges, but it will also help you feel less alone in struggling with two of the most challenging things about being human; emotions and relationships.  The questions explored in this episode: Why do gay men struggle in relationships?  What is required for gay men to develop secure attachment? What is the difference between secure attachment and secure relationship?  What does a secure relationship look like?  What are the stages of queer relationship development? Related Link: The Secure Attachment Handbook Today's Guest: Tom Bruett Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.

What happens when friendship meets intimacy? Explore the intriguing dynamics of friends with benefits versus friends with intimacy. The conversation dives into setting boundaries and the importance of self-awareness. Discover the pros and cons of these relationships while listening to personal stories of what went right, and what went awry. Feelings can complicate casual arrangements, highlighting the need for clear communication and regular check-ins. Join the journey of navigating emotional connections in the context of modern friendships.

The first year after coming out can be a wild ride filled with excitement and challenges. The speakers share personal stories that illuminate the emotional highs and lows of embracing authenticity. They tackle the struggles of relationship changes and the importance of communication. There’s a focus on self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and how to build a supportive community. Listeners will find valuable resources that encourage patience and growth, making this journey of self-discovery a transformative experience.

In this episode, Matt speaks with world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Frank Anderson.  Let’s be honest, trauma isn't the most glamorous topic to talk about, but it significantly impacts us as gay men, and our community is in desperate need of healing from the trauma of growing up gay that we each likely experienced. This episode is a raw and real exploration of the impact growing up gay can have on us. Many of us had the pressure and stress of being a young boy and having to carry our big secret on our little shoulders. This pressure likely lasted for decades, and we had to deal with it alone, without support. Remember that you are not alone if you are struggling with this trauma or the dysfunctional behaviours unhealed trauma can cause us to engage in.  Matt and Frank created this episode as a guide to understanding your trauma and how to begin the healing process.  The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What are the different forms of trauma?  What causes the trauma of growing up gay? What is the traumatic impact of growing up gay? How does “parts work” or internal family systems therapy (IFS) heal trauma? What are some of the parts gay men have to develop to deal with growing up gay? How can we begin to work with our wounded and protector parts to start healing?  What's required for healing trauma for gay men specifically? What does life after trauma look like? How can we start to practice forgiveness and transcend our trauma? Related Link: MedCircle Interview Today's Guest: Dr. Frank Anderson Facebook Instagram TikTok Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at

Living in the closet is a unique experience that queer people must face. Yet each person’s journey is shaped by culture, family dynamics, and social pressures. For some, living in the closet is about safety and survival. For others, it’s the first step in a journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. In this episode, we explore what it’s really like to live in the closet and the complex emotions that come with it. We discuss: What was was like for you living in the closet? What did it take for you to come out? What advice would you give to someone who is in the closet but afraid to come out? Whether you’re still in the closet, reflecting on your journey, or supporting someone else through theirs, this conversation offers empathy, wisdom, and practical guidance for navigating this deeply personal experience. Tune in for an honest and heartfelt discussion about courage, culture, and living your truth—at your own pace. Free download: The Gay Man's Survival Guide For Your First Year Out Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Coming out to our families can be one of the most difficult experiences we navigate as queer folk. Sometimes it can be made even more difficult if the people we are opening up to are challenged by it, or don’t understand it. Other times, we may find ourselves in the company of people who do understand, or simply meet our openness with their own. Or, in this case, sometimes what we experience is a combination of both. This is a unique episode, because today our co-host Reno is sitting down with none other than HIS MOM to have a conversation about being different, growing up gay and queer, how she navigated his queerness as a parent, and how they both navigated his queerness as parent and child. Allison Johnston is a mother, grandmother, social worker, advocate, and sage. In this episode, we dive into… When she knew I was different. When she knew I was gay. What some of the signs were. Life growing up. Coming out. How she and my family and friends experienced my coming out. Whether she struggled with it or not, and who did. What some of my own struggles were. What it was like being the mother of a queer child. What wisdom we might offer family members relating to queerness. Today's Guest: Allison Johnston Instagram Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram LinkedIn Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access

Big things are on the horizon for the Gay Men’s Brotherhood in 2025, and we can’t wait to share them with you! In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our vision for the future— including new opportunities and exciting changes you can expect in the year ahead including: Opportunities for local meetup groups  New virtual events  In-person retreats Leadership opportunities  We’ll also talk about the ways you can step into the mission, make an impact, and help us shape the future of GMB. Whether you’ve been with us from the start or are just tuning in now, this is your moment to be part of something bigger. Your voice, your participation, and your unique contributions are what make this community thrive in 2025- and beyond. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Whether you love it or hate it, hookup culture is a part of gay culture—and if you look a little closer, it just might be a powerful tool for self-discovery. In this episode, we’re diving into the real-life lessons our casual hookups taught us about confidence, boundaries, and self-love. We’re going beyond the benefits and drawbacks of hookup culture, and sharing how these experiences have shaped who we are This episode is for anyone curious about navigating hookup culture with more clarity and intentionality. Some of the topics we’ll be covering: The benefits and drawbacks of casual sex  Practicing self-care before and after sexy encounters  3 questions you can use to check in with yourself Setting healthy boundaries Ways to discover what needs are motivating your hook ups Practical tips for making casual encounters align with your values Join us as we break down the skills that casual sex can build (yes, they’re easily transferable to other areas of life!) and how you can approach hookups in a way that feels empowered, intentional, and true to yourself. Reflection Questions in the Show: Michael’s 3 Questions (listen to the episode to learn when and how to use these!) Why am I seeking this experience? As I imagine moving forward, how do I feel? Tomorrow when I look back on this, how will I feel about it? Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime

Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist and co-founder of Popstar Labs, delves into intimate penis health topics with host Matt. They break down the stigma surrounding erectile dysfunction and discuss treatments. The conversation covers circumcision, revealing its cultural implications. They explore safe methods for penis enlargement and the significance of pelvic health, including innovative Botox therapy for dysfunction. Lastly, they tackle myths about semen volume and the benefits of regular ejaculation, encouraging openness in discussions about sexual wellness.

On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into The Sexuality Spectrum. From fluid attractions and shifting needs to understanding social conditioning and embracing different sexual dynamics, we’re exploring the dynamic range of human sexuality and how it shows up uniquely for each of us. Some of the topics we’ll be discussing are:  Some of the aspects of the sexuality spectrum, including emotional needs, affection, and attraction How shame and social conditioning impact our sexual expression How we align (or don’t) with different parts of the spectrum based on environment, mood, or connection with others. How our sexual needs evolve over time  The role of emotional intimacy and vulnerability in sexual connection  This episode is filled with personal stories on how our own sexual preferences have changed over the years, and what it means to get those needs met. Tune in for a nuanced conversation on embracing the fluidity of our sexuality, breaking down labels, and finding what truly works for us. Related Link: Types of Sexuality Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the