Today we welcome Whitney Goodman, the radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account Sit With Whit. She is the owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a private therapy practice in Miami. Whitney has her own column in Psychology Today and has been featured in The New York Times, Teen Vogue, NY Magazine, Instyle, Good Morning America, and other publications. Her most recent book is called Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy.In this episode, I talk to Whitney Goodman about toxic positivity. A happy outlook in life is a strength; but when taken too far, it can backfire and work against us. Positivity stops becoming helpful when we deny the realities of hardship and trauma. Whitney believes positivity is not the panacea to our problems—it needs to be applied in the right time, place, and purpose. She shares with us ways on how to be supportive without being dismissive of our own well-being and of others. We also touch on the topics of authenticity, gratitude, hope, relationships, and work.Website: sitwithwhit.comInstagram: @SitWithWhit Topics03:14 When positivity becomes toxic 04:36 Pretending to be happy08:20 Do positive people always succeed?11:53 Changing toxic positivity15:33 Well-being > positive thinking21:31 Stop shaming yourself23:19 Realistic affirmations and organic gratitude 27:11 How to complain effectively29:15 Ingredients of communication31:28 Discrimination with a smile35:10 A value-driven life40:20 It’s okay to just be41:18 Positive fantasy can be helpfulSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Mollie West Duffy who is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership coaching. She’s helped advise and coach leaders and founders at companies including Casper, Google, LinkedIn, Bungalow, and Slack. She’s experienced in designing talent processes and systems, as well as organizational structures and behaviors, cultural values, and learning and development programs. Mollie is the author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book No Hard Feelings. Her most recent book with Liz Fosslien is called Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay.In this episode, I talk to Mollie West Duffy about how to navigate big feelings. Our emotion-phobic society has a lot of misconceptions about dealing with difficult emotions and what they mean. According to Mollie, big feelings can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves if we sit with our emotions and work through them. Mollie and I share our personal experiences with depression and anxiety and how we coped. We also touch on the topics of anger, perfectionism, social comparison, burn out, and uncertainty.Website: molliewestduffy.comTwitter: @molliewest Topics01:43 Mollie and Liz’s collaborations05:08 How Big Feelings was published08:31 Our emotion-phobic society 12:26 Illustrating emotions15:13 Myths about big feelings18:32 Emotional labor21:14 Anxiety, uncertainty, resilience25:03 Scott’s tips to manage anxiety29:48 Separate the “withins” from the “beyonds”32:14 Assess your tolerance of uncertainty36:26 Embrace comparison 43:00 Mollie’s tips to manage depression48:30 Translate your anger50:43 Perfectionism isn’t as helpful as we think See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome John Kaag, the Chair and Professor of philosophy at the University of Massachusetts Lowell. He received his Masters in Philosophy from Pennsylvania State University and his Ph.D. in Philosophy from the University of Oregon. His writing has been published in The Paris Review, The New York Times, and Harper’s Magazine. He is the author of Hiking with Nietzsche, American Philosophy: A Love Story, and his most recent book is Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James Can Save Your Life.In this episode, my conversation with John Kaag revolves around the existential question we’ve all had: is life worth living? John expounds on William James’ answer of “maybe”. He shares about his near-death experience and how vulnerable moments in his life have led him to a more nuanced understanding of philosophy. We also touch on the topics of metaphysics, determinism, suffering, religion, and transcendence. Website: johnkaag.comTwitter: @JohnKaag Topics03:53 Existential anxiety, fear, freedom08:50 Is life worth living? 11:14 Seizing control over existence14:23 Metaphysical chance is real17:36 The unseen order and human blindness25:43 “Living unnecessarily near our surface”30:18 Pragmatism, zest, authenticity33:26 Resignation or hope in the face of mortality 38:10 Dissolution of the self42:26 Spiritual narcissism44:24 Companions in misery49:28 Melancholy among philosophers52:13 Life is for living 53:41 The loving cupSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dr. Frans de Waal, a Dutch American biologist and primatologist known for his work on the behavior and social intelligence of primates. He is a professor in Emory University's psychology department and the Director of the Living Links Center at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center. Chimpanzee Politics, The Age of Empathy, The Bonobo and the Atheist, and Mama's Last Hug are among his most popular books that have been translated in over 20 languages. His latest book is called Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist.In this episode, I talk to Frans de Waal about sex and gender. As a primatologist, he shares his research findings on the biological differences between male and female primates. Despite obvious distinctions between masculine and feminine behavior, great apes have no trouble accepting non-binary individuals—a behavior we humans need to practice more of. Dr. Frans clears up what alpha male really means and debunks the “natural order” of male supremacy. We also touch on the topics of socialization, power, altruism, reproduction, and equality. Website: www.emory.edu/LIVING_LINKSFacebook: /franspublic Topics03:11 What is a primatologist? 04:15 Biology in the gender debate08:42 Donna: the non-binary chimpanzee13:08 Dominance, power, and prestige17:12 Alpha males and alpha females 20:50 Sex differences in play and aggression24:45 Gender identity and self socialization31:30 The Selfish Gene 35:11 The evolution of the clitoris40:26 The stigma of female sexuality45:35 Extra-pair copulation and paternity testing50:35 Competition, rivalry, and conflict resolution54:54 Maternal instinct and xenophobia among primates59:03 Embodied cognitionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Todd Rose, the co-founder and president of Populace, a nonprofit think tank that works to find solutions to redistribute opportunity, so all people have the chance to live fulfilling lives in a thriving society. Prior to Populace, he was a faculty member at Harvard University where he founded the Laboratory for the Science of Individuality and directed the Mind, Brain, and Education program. Todd is the best-selling author of Dark Horse and The End of Average. and his most recent book is called Collective Illusions.For part two of our interview, I talk to Todd Rose about collective illusions. Humans are a tribal species, prone to conformity. In a lot of instances, we will act according to what our in-group wants rather than what we want as individuals. Ironically, Todd's research shows that we make poor inferences about the majority consensus. Failing to recognize collective illusions can have negative consequences on our identities, relationships, values, and society. To avoid falling into conformity traps, Todd encourages us to live congruent private and public lives that adhere to our personal convictions.Website: www.toddrose.comTwitter: @ltoddrose Topics03:10 What is a collective illusion?06:16 Social media and perceived consensus13:38 Self-fulfilling political polarization19:10 Socializing the concept of collective illusions20:49 Gender bias in politics22:59 Conformity traps in groups and relationships28:15 Do republicans think the 2020 elections were rigged?31:32 Preference falsification and manipulation36:22 The need for belonging and self-expression38:26 False expectations distort relationships39:48 Congruence, positive deviance, and authentic responsibility46:54 Norms as checking mechanismsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Todd Rose, the co-founder, and president of Populace, a nonprofit think tank that works to find solutions to redistribute opportunity, so all people have the chance to live fulfilling lives in a thriving society. Prior to Populace, he was a faculty member at Harvard University where he founded the Laboratory for the Science of Individuality and directed the Mind, Brain, and Education program. Todd is the best-selling author of Dark Horse, The End of Average, and his most recent book is called Collective Illusions.For part one of our interview, I talk to Todd Rose about intelligence. From both history and research, we know that standardized tests made the false assumption that an average baseline of intelligence can be captured through IQ. Until today, our education system continues to value general cognitive ability over more specific skills. Instead of focusing on test scores, Todd asks us to look at jagged profiles so we can create environments where everyone can thrive. To truly cultivate human potential, Todd asserts that we need to rethink our traditional frameworks about intelligence.Website: www.toddrose.comTwitter: @ltoddrose Topics01:50 Dropping out of high school04:20 Kurt Fischer’s Dynamic Skill Theory09:33The problem with standardized testing12:00 Jagged profiles matter more than IQ scores15:26 There is no aptitude without strategy22:54 Everybody is capable of excellence23:58 Changes to improve our school system28:23 Education transforms lives 33:59 How Todd got into an honors program40:46 The bell curve of intelligence43:22 Stop pathologizing natural human variation 47:40 IQ limits our view of human potential58:43 Individual contribution over cognitive abilitySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dan Pink who is the New York Times bestselling author of When, Drive, A Whole New Mind, and To Sell is Human. Dan’s books have won multiple awards, have been translated into 42 languages, and have sold millions of copies around the world. His articles and essays have also appeared in The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, The Atlantic, Slate, and other publications. His most recent book is called The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. In this episode, I talk to Dan Pink about regret. Dan collected regrets from over 15,000 people across different countries and sorted them into four major categories. He shares insights from his research and shows us how to reframe regret so we can live out the rest of our lives with more authenticity and purpose. We also touch on the topics of happiness, mortality, philosophy, post-traumatic growth, and personality.Website: www.danpink.comTwitter: @DanielPink Topics02:52 The universality of regret05:40 Demographic differences in regrets11:53 Free will and fatalism15:47 What could have beens19:13 Action vs inaction24:12 The four core regrets28:40 Regret done right36:04 Debunking “No regrets”37:59 We don’t talk enough about mortality41:20 Deathbed regrets42:38 Regret and gratefulness45:40 Treat yourself with kindness47:30 Shame, guilt, remorse 48:21 Do public figures experience more regret?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dr. Lisa Miller, the founder and director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute. Her innovative research has been published in more than one hundred peer-reviewed articles in leading journals, including Cerebral Cortex, The American Journal of Psychiatry, and the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. She is the New York Times bestselling author of The Spiritual Child and The Awakened Brain.In this episode, I talk to Lisa Miller about the new science of spirituality. Despite what skeptics might believe, science and spirituality don’t necessarily contradict each other. Lisa’s research has found that humans are born with a natural capacity to connect with the spiritual. By being open to the transcendent, our brains can reap the benefits of resiliency, creativity, and more. We also touch on the topics of neuroscience, existentialism, mindfulness, and empiricism.Website: www.lisamillerphd.comTwitter: @lisamillerphd Topics01:34 The Awakened Brain06:14 Conversations with Martin Seligman13:20 The spiritual child15:16 Science augments spirituality 17:26 Defining spirituality and devotion25:04 Personality correlations with spirituality27:25 A monism approach to consciousness 31:27 Searching for life’s meaning37:08 Schumann resonances 39:56 Religious war is outdated43:34 Transcendence is a process46:57 Meditation practice with LisaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Carl Hart. He is the Ziff Professor of Psychology in the Departments of Psychology and Psychiatry at Columbia University. He is known for his research on neuropsychopharmacology and his advocacy for the decriminalization of recreational drugs. Carl is the author of High Price and has co-authored the introductory textbook Drugs, Society, and Human Behavior with Charles Ksir. His most recent book is called Drug Use for Grown-Ups.In this episode, I talk to Carl Hart about drug use and addiction. Society is quick to judge all drug users as addicts but Carl’s research found that the majority of drug users do not meet the criteria for pathology. Recreational drugs, when used responsibly, can have positive effects on people.  Instead of waging a war on drugs, Carl advocates for laws that better regulate the production and sale of substances. We also touch on the topics of health, law, racism, cognition, and sociology.Website: drcarlhart.comTwitter: @drcarlhart Topics02:32 Carl’s interest in neuropsychopharmacology06:12 The brain disease model of addiction11:22 Should we talk about drugs with kids?13:47 Responsible drug use for grown-ups17:08 Drugs in pursuit of happiness22:54 The Harrison Narcotics Tax Act 29:28 Scott’s experience with edibles33:21 Why we need drug checking facilities37:01 The drug user tropes in media 41:59 Predictors of drug abuse and addiction 46:42 Drug overdose and safety50:09 Personal responsibility in drug addiction52:45 Our moralism is killing us55:06 Coming out as a heroin user57:52 Bob Marley and James Baldwin See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Susan Cain. She is the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, which spent eight years on The New York Times bestseller list, and has been translated into 40 languages. Susan’s TED talk has been viewed over 40 million times and was named by Bill Gates as one of his all-time favorite talks. Her new masterpiece is called Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole.In this episode, I talk to Susan Cain about the complex emotion of bittersweet. We explore melancholy and how the intertwined recognition of beauty and impermanence can be tapped for creative pursuits. Susan also talks about how existential longing is a natural part of the human condition, allowing us to form deeper connections with one another. We also touch on the topics of creativity, spirituality, relationships, grief, and mortality. Website: susancain.netTwitter: @susancain Topics02:31 The spectrum of bittersweet06:10 The paradox of tragedy07:41 Melancholy is not always depression11:16 Longing for Eden16:22 Spirituality is a manifestation of longing18:30 Existential longing, awe, and wonder23:25 Reaching through acts of love30:30 The new science of transcendence35:59 Mortality and transhumanism 39:44 Maslow’s plateau experiences 43:17 The epigenetics of inherited trauma48:30 Follow your existential longingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.