Therapy Works

Christmas can be tricky even when we aren’t facing a particular challenge. And it can be extra hard when you’re grieving or going through other personal difficulties. In today’s episode, the three of us discuss: Acknowledging that Christmas is always intensified as there’s always pressure to have to a perfect time.  Why we all need to be realistic and recognise that not everyone is going to be happy all the time and that’s ok. It’s important to take the pressure off. Children have more feelings - tantrums as well as joy and why you should ride the waves of emotion.  Allowing for difference - if you have new family members or friends joining you for Christmas then allow each person to introduce their own Christmas tradition.  Why Christmas can be challenging in blended families and why great communication and clear planning can help. Grief at Christmas can be very hard - we discuss ideas to help support you through it. Tips on what to do if you’re spending Christmas alone  We hope that whatever you might be doing this Christmas, that it’s as happy as it can be and that you all have a brilliant end to 2022!Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Because her edict was to find that pocketful of happiness in each day. Feeling no guilt seems an incredibly generous and welcome gift to have been unexpectedly given by her."Richard E. Grant is an actor, author and director who has appeared in over 80 films and television programs, such as Withnail And I, Star Wars and was previously Oscar nominated for his supporting role in Can you Ever Forgive me?. His beloved wife Joan died in September 2021 after a battle with lung cancer and in September 2022 he released a memoir called A Pocketful of Happiness mostly written in the last year of his wife’s life. In this episode we discuss: How grief is influenced by the circumstances of death and how not having regrets is an important factor that makes the difference between a good and bad death.  Recognising that the process of grief is an oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation. Why it’s important we update our understanding of grief, it isn’t about forgetting and moving on but remembering and connecting, sometimes with the pain.  How the love for the person who you’ve lost never dies. Why you can experience guilt in grief and allowing yourself a pocketful of happiness can protect you against guilt.  We discuss how men and women grieve differently, and explore the possibility of new relationships after a partner has died.  We discuss the parent/child relationship, touching on boundaries, connection and what might be ok and not ok to share.  How much of life is down to luck and the power of our attitude in our outcome; when we manifest and believe in ourselves and see the negative as a challenge to be overcome rather than something that defeats us.  How important it is for friends to support us in pre-bereavement, when we are bereaved and how distressed one becomes when close friends don't show up.  Find more information on Richard: Website: https://www.richard-e-grant.com/Instagram: @richard.e.grantBook: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pocketful-Happiness-Richard-Grant/dp/1398519472 Support Links:Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/Good Grief Festival: https://goodgrieffest.com/Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Claire’s son Chris was 13 when he was accidentally hit by a car on his way home from school which left him quadriplegic and unable to speak. This is a story that is both hard to hear, because we prefer to keep the reality of these devastating events out of mind, but also inspirational. Despite this tragic accident, Claire shows how it’s changed her perspective on life and taught her to appreciate what really matters.In this episode we discuss:  The importance of communication, of not struggling alone. It’s vital to allow yourself to feel and ask for help. People don’t know what you need unless you tell them. Why love is the strongest medicine. Claire’s love for Chris and the love she shares with her husband enabled them to build resilience personally and collectively as a family. The recognition that hate is a heavy contaminating burden to carry and how voicing her anger and resentment releases this. How we have the power to choose the attitude we take, despite being powerless in what happens to us.  A severe life changing injury to someone in our family is devastating. It is a painful road to come to terms with such a massive loss. Whilst allowing the feelings we have in the present, it is helpful to acknowledge that feelings change, what we feel now doesn’t predict how we will feel in the future.  How there are often other casualties in a family when tragedy strikes.  The assumptions we make about disability and what life could be like can be turned on their head. We learn that Chris has a meaningful, important and worthwhile life despite his profound disabilities.  Why faith can keep us grounded and that looking towards a higher power for answers can give us strength and meaning.  How we can find strength despite enormous loss and how we will never know how strong we are until we are forced to discover it.  Child Brain Injury Support links: https://childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeIf you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist! Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“The shortest distance between two people is laughter"My next guest is award-winning actress, Helena Bonham Carter. She is a total original, funny and wise, thoughtful, irreverent and utterly herself. In this joyous, meaningful and wide ranging conversation which had moments of great humour it was Helena’s inspirational wisdom that ran through it most profoundly.In this conversation, we discussed: The big dilemma we all face in finding our purpose and the complexity of what makes us human How Helena won’t let difficult events defeat her but she “will make music of what remains” How we are all a multiplicity of beings and why it helps us to choose life and joy and not take ourselves too seriously The painful consequences of divorce, what helps and how it takes proper time to process these big life changing events  The wisdom of the Victorians to wear black at painful times to honour the loss and let the world know “I am not my normal self”  How singing can be a marvellous antidote to self criticism and shame Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeIf you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com. A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist! Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Until you’ve been there, you don’t know what war is."Yeva Skalietska is an unusual guest for this podcast, being a 12 year old school girl - but she has already had to experience many things that no child ever should. At a time when there may be Ukraine fatigue, this is a conversation that we all need to hear. On this podcast you will hear how each therapy session has its own character, and this is an example of me not being my best self. I was uneasy and tried too hard which meant our connection was not optimum. However, above all you will takeaway:  How important it is to be grateful for the things in life we take for granted. How hard it is for so many of us to picture the real horror of war.  The curative power of journalling that both enables us to process terrible experiences and support ourselves to have a clear narrative of what seems chaotic.  How one person can change the course of our life by making the right decisions for the right reasons. How we are at the mercy of forces beyond us, both good and bad.  How faith and the belief in God can be sustaining and give us hope when our world is being destroyed.  The difficulty of the meaning and word refugee, which can be imbued with shame and objectification.  The power and vital importance of the place we call home which we may take for granted.  Yeva’s Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Dont-Know-What-War/dp/152665993X Refugee Support:Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org.uk/get-help/get-help-as-a-refugee/help-for-refugees-from-ukraine#Emotional%20supportRefugee Council: https://www.refugeecouncil.org.uk/our-work/mental-health-support-for-refugees-and-asylum-seekers/Donate to support Ukrainian Refugees: https://www.actionaid.org.uk/changelives/rg/donate-to-help-refugees?gclid=Cj0KCQiAyracBhDoARIsACGFcS522gzkWUKhEvUmDMghlyBSgwUkDhWtr7_5fZ79dYkUxadGACT475IaArAKEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. ---Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning - this episode may make references to depression, drugs and suicide.*“I was dealing on and off with very bad depression, which I think in the early days leading up to my breakdown, I dealt with through drink and then I dealt with through this obsessive need and desire not to drink, which I probably replaced with an obsessive need and desire to work all the time.”We learn most from hearing the truthful stories of others. We learn even more about what it is to be human when we get beneath someone's external performative self and learn what they actually feel on the inside. Alastair Campbell is a remarkable example of someone who has been powerful at the heart of the political world as the former Director of Communications and Strategy at 10 Downing Street and also owned and expressed his inner mental health challenges. In this remarkably open and illuminating episode you will learn: The confusion between mental and physical illness. Because mental illness is invisible, unlike physical illness we find it harder to legitimise our mental states. How mental health isn’t separate from the system and society within which we live. The link between depression and addiction, and how it can be inherited. Why a breakdown can be incredibly painful, it might be the route to a break through and will allow you to develop better coping mechanisms for life’s difficulties.  Why it’s incredibly painful to witness our adult children suffer and being powerless to help. The dilemma and boundary we face between self-care and selfishness.  The wonderful illustration of the jam jar which triggered my Freudian slip and includes tools for wellbeing that holds back malevolent depression. The dilemma and boundary between self-care and selfishness.  Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeIf you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist! Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning* - This episode includes references to suicide and physical abuse."I grew up around men that, you know, kind of spoke with the hands and not with the mouth."In this incredibly powerful and moving conversation, David reflects on hitting rock bottom and finding hope in the darkest of times. Topics discussed in this episode include:  How he overcame a violent childhood when one’s parent used aggression rather than words How hard it can be to be an authentic sensitive man when surrounded by toxic masculinity The idea that the cards we are dealt when we are born is down to luck but how we play them is shaped by our choices and decisions. Why the question is not why the addiction - the question is what is the source of the pain it is anaesthetising? Why we are constantly on the hunt for more and don’t know what we have to be grateful for until it’s taken away. —Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513If you are in need of support please visit:  https://switchback.org.uk/ - London based prison rehabilitation charity  https://www.hardmantrust.org.uk/directory/ - finds support services for prisoners A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks. ---Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Would they prefer a gay son or a dead son was genuinely a question that went through my mind more than once a day."In this week's episode, I am speaking to the wonderful Mohsin Zaidi about the importance of belonging and the bitter struggle he encountered with his identity. We explore: The tension that arises when our core identities are different from what we believe they should be Why courage is something we must grow and it may take years to find the courage to be true to oneself How expanding our external world expands our internal world and may enable ourselves to inhabit ourselves more fully How secrets and lies can poison and destroy you When you despair, it's important to remember to be patient and to not put too much pressure on oneself Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeRead Mohsin's book here: https://www.mohsinzaidi.com/Important Support: Stonewall - Support for LGBTQ+: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/Mermaids - Helping gender diverse kids and their families: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/It Gets Better - A project to uplift and empower LGBTQ communities: https://itgetsbetter.org/If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist! Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.If you'd like to be unknown voice on Season 2, please send in a one minute video about a challenge you've faced to jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I know a few women, even in my circle, have survived sexual trauma. And they all go back to the same thing and they talk about the moment where they changed. It's not to do with what somebody did to them physically is to do with they they know when they when their sense of self shattered.” Today's episode is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. I am joined by single mother, Jess, who opens up about her own turbulent childhood. This therapy session definitely brought up a lot of different issues surrounding family, the complexities of motherhood and the scarring impact of sexual abuse.In this episode we discuss issues around:  The impact of our parents choices on our mental health The devastating life shattering impact of sexual abuse and how the focus culturally has been the physical event but it can come in many forms How sexual abuse isn't always physical and can be subtle and can be harder to recognise The joy and complexity of having a baby and how it inevitably brings up our own issues The importance of community and how there are many diverse ways people can make a family Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeImportant links: Support for people who are estranged: https://www.standalone.org.uk/Support for sexual abuse victims: https://safeline.org.uk/---If you are an unheard voice and want to share your story, please email jsamuelpod@gmail.com.Produced by Georgie RutherfordEdited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I feel like I always kind of longed for that family set up and I've got it. But although I feel loved and and I love my family, I've also kind of fallen into being a stepmum where I also sometimes feel that it's not my family.”In this moving and revealing conversation Kate Ferdinand opens up on subjects that affect us all. This conversation explores: • How her childhood shaped her and in particular her relationship with her father• The complexities and joys of being a stepmother and we can have multiple loves all at the same time• How love for those that have died lives on in the family, becomes part of the family and needs to be integrated by those joining them• The difficulties of social media and why comparison is the direct route to misery• Her own experience of miscarriage and why she needed to be open about it • How she has had to learn that expressing difficult feelings can release her from old, hardwired patterns• The notion that love is the strongest medicine—Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbeGrief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513If you'd like to get in touch with the podcast team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist! Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices