Joanne on navigating her painful estrangement from her daughter

I am very grateful to Joanne for having the courage to talk to me about her estrangement with her daughter. 

Estrangement in families is stigmatised and coated in shame and so it isn’t something we hear about very much, although research shows one in five families have a level of estrangement. 

In this episode, you will learn:

• How frightening and painful it is to be estranged from one’s child 
• How fast the estrangement can be from believing everything was fine to being removed from their life 
• How important it is to recognise that even as therapists we can’t fix others and hard it is to hear distress
• Strategies to maintain resilience, including connection to her friends, given how horrendous the not knowing, and sitting and waiting is. 
• Also we discuss ways she can stay connected with her daughter, without triggering further estrangement. 
• We need to recognise, in all families, that each member of the family has their own reality, which maybe different from ours, and allow everyone’s reality to have a place.
• How it is often through flexibility, being realistic and future focussed that bridges can be built. How small steps are the most effective.
• Acknowledging how painful this is is and how it’s helpful to recognise that we can’t look for an upside. Some things are just awful. 

Support links:

Stand Alone: https://www.standalone.org.uk/

Links referenced in the podcast:

So you want to stage an intervention: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/helpers-so-you-want-to-stage-an-intervention/

Someone I know is being abused. Shall I call the police?: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/someone-i-know-is-being-abused-should-i-call-the-police/

Find Julia:

Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

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Produced by Georgie Rutherford

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