Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

It’s incredibly hard to have a Loved One who’s experiencing homelessness. Our hosts—Hazel, Kevin, and Greer—join Kayla Solomon to discuss their experiences with their Loved Ones and offer hard-won advice. They say it’s important to try to create an environment of openness, connection, and availability—up to a point. But it’s also important to have boundaries. If you’re not giving advice or intervening in ways your Loved One is not asking for, they get the life experience of their choices, but they also have loving connections available. When they’re ready, you’re ready to help them with a list of resources.Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use. Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

How do accumulated negative feelings and trauma impact you and your relationship with your loved one? How do you get past them, to a better place? In part, it's about breaking the contract of the usual interactions and cycles—learn to step back, re-assess, and let our loved ones handle things without so much of our intervening. Kayla and Dominique discus⁠s how that can be done.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

"This is not just a conflict resolution tool, it's about showing somebody that you're actually interested in what they're talking about," Kayla reminds us.Reflective listening involves two simultaneous mindsets—you're listening, and at the same time reflecting whatever your Loved One says. Our hosts weigh in on good strategies for dealing with the difficulty of inhabiting those simultaneous mindsets, including curiosity, interest, and separation.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one? Check out this popular episode from 2021, hosted by Kayla Solomon, Laurie MacDougall, and Isabel Cooney. What is "reflective listening?" How does it work? What are the benefits for you, and the person you're listening to? And why does Kayla believe in it so much that she'd use it if someone were pointing a gun at her?The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠.

When your Loved One is coming home, it's time to collaborate and negotiate about expectations and plans. It's important to hear what consequences they suggest for certain actions or inaction, and to keep communicating openly over time. This is a ripe moment to have a talk about the various possibilities and what might occur in the near future. This is a perfect timeto use the leverage you have (they want to come home, they are not currently using substances).The CRAFT model that we teach at alliesinrecovery.net is a therapeutic process that teaches us how to be in relationship. Shift your Loved One's trajectory with substances and recovery by shifting your own patterns.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠.

In part 2, Linda offers tools to help calm the parasympathetic nervous system. As Kayla says, it's part of gaining coherence, a prerequisite for connection. Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRAFT, and parenting.Connect with Linda via ⁠Her website⁠ and ⁠her Facebook⁠.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠.

Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRAFT, and parenting.Connect with Linda via Her website and her Facebook.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠Learn more here⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠youtube channel⁠.

If you're forced to have limited contact, it can be hard to handle the unknown. It's important to learn how to be in contact in simple ways, and to calm your system down to respond well and strengthen the connection. Use humor; find ways to connect with who they are and what they like—reminding them of who they are becomes a bridge and connection. If you’re worried, learn how to communicate simply, without accusation or judgement.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel.

We intend to be supportive and helpful and keep our Loved Ones safe. But our words aren’t always perceived that way. It’s important to become more aware of how we’re coming across, and to gain the tools to soften the message, hear when they feel upset, and shift things so that we can go back into connection. The result is building the relationship so things can come out more clearly, and the person can more readily receive our words if they choose to.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested.) • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn moreAllies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause." Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtubechannel.

Presume you’ll have moments in a relationship that feel like gigantic rifts, or like uncomfortable separation and disconnect. That’s not a problem, but an opportunity to show that you’re changing and working on your part. Take full responsibility for your part, whether they do or not. Keep doing it over and over, so you become a safe person—the person who’s there when they decide they’re ready for more help.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested.)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel.